45
There was a sad finality to it all. There were no other ideas to try, no other ways to bring Antonia and Oliver in on Aurelia’s—and now Julia’s—secret world.
After keeping it hidden for so long, Aurelia wished she could have shared it with them.
Really shared it, not just through stories and garbled voices.
Antonia got up from the sofa and started tidying up the kitchen, her silence ringing loudly through the flat. Julia went to shower and Aurelia sat for a moment before standing to pack up Jack’s camera and turn off the television.
She walked into the kitchen and watched Antonia moving efficiently around it, as though keeping busy could keep back the tide of her disappointment.
“I’m sorry, Antonia. I’m really, really sorry it didn’t work.”
Antonia said nothing at first, then attempted a cheery tone when she said, “It’s fine. We knew it was a long shot, anyway.”
“I know, but I hoped it would work.”
“Me too.”
Antonia put down the mug she was clutching and then leaned against the counter.
“It was hard watching that,” she said after a pause.
“It must be so frustrating—knowing something’s there but not being able to see or hear it.”
“No, not that bit. I mean, that is frustrating, but that’s not what I meant. It was… watching the bits where I could see you and Julia, together.”
Aurelia frowned, unsure what Antonia was trying to say.
“It was almost like a summoning,” Antonia said with an attempt at a laugh. Then, with a certain sadness in her voice, she added, “It looked like it was just the two of you against the world. An entire world that I can never be a part of with you. With Julia.”
“Oh, Antonia—” Aurelia broke off, not knowing what to say to make it up to her sister.
“I’m never going to get to see what she’s talking about, to really know what she’s experiencing.
I mean, she’ll go off to university and I won’t be sitting next to her in lecture halls or hanging out with her in her dorm, but that’s still a few years off yet.
It’s just sort of happening before I thought—being cut off from part of her life. ”
“You’re not cut off,” Aurelia promised her. “She can tell you which characters she meets, and I can tell you what she’s like with them. I know it’s not the same, but I promise it doesn’t have to be a big mystery that’s hidden from you. Not like it was for me and you, or me and Oliver.”
Antonia nodded, though she didn’t seem convinced. Aurelia walked over and leaned against the counter, shoulder to shoulder with her sister.
“It’s incredibly unfair,” Aurelia added. “I’m sorry, Tonia.”
Antonia looked over and gave Aurelia a small but genuine smile.
“It’s not your fault. In the grand scheme, having a daughter who can talk to fictional characters you can’t see isn’t the worst possible thing, is it?”
“Not at all,” Aurelia agreed with a grin. “When she’s visiting, you’ll always know where she is after midnight.”
“And maybe I can stop pretending I’ve read some of the books you and Aunt Marigold have begged me to read. Julia can just fill me in on what the characters are like.”
Aurelia elbowed Antonia and then drew her into a hug.
When Julia emerged from the bathroom a bit later, she found them chatting over fresh mugs of tea.
“I have a serious question,” Julia announced.
Aurelia and Antonia snapped to attention and then fell to laughing over their synchronized response.
“I said it was serious!” Julia said waspishly.
“Alright, we’re sorry,” Antonia said, still laughing. “Let’s hear it.”
“Can we stop experimenting for now? Just so that I can go back to figuring out why the characters came to meet me? We can keep thinking of new experiments to try for other visits, but for this one, can we hold off?”
Antonia’s face turned as serious as Julia had hoped as she said, “Yes, of course. In fact, I’m thinking of heading off tomorrow morning, getting out of your hair so you can get back to your summer together.”
Aurelia asked, “Why tomorrow?”—just as Julia said, “I mean, it was just supposed to be me and Aunt Aurelia.”
Antonia laughed at them both.
“I’ll be back in London next week anyway. In the meantime, I should get home and make sure Max and the boys haven’t let the house collapse around them.”
“Don’t leave just yet,” Aurelia pleaded. “One more day?”
“Alright, alright,” Antonia agreed.
Julia let out a dramatic sigh, as though one more day with her mother would be a misery, but it wasn’t very convincing since she couldn’t hide the smile on her face.