Chapter 33
CHAPTER 33
W arren entered the living room of Booth Farm. Millie and Harry were seated at the table eating take away Chinese.
“Wow, you’ve dressed to impress,” Millie said as he approached them.
“Who are you off out with?” Harry asked.
“His girlfriend,” Millie said.
“She’s not my girlfriend,” Warren answered.
“She won’t be, will she? Unless you ask her to be,” Millie said with a laugh.
Warren smiled as Millie teased him. She was always asking him when he was going to make his relationship with Nina ‘exclusive’ as she liked to call it. That term was irrelevant to him as he’d never been one to see more than one woman at a time. But even though he was only friends with Nina, he’d never felt so close to a woman. Sharing her journey, listening to her plans with her business and the baby. Never had he felt he wanted to be with someone this much, to make them smile, to make them happy.
“She must be mad not to want to be your girlfriend,” Millie said. “Anyway, we’ve bought you a present.”
Harry pushed a wrapped package across the table. “Happy birthday, Warren.”
“Thanks guys.” He opened it to find a soft khaki beanie hat.
“It matches those cargos you always wear,” Millie said.
He laughed. “Yeah, it does. I needed a new one, it’s freezing first thing.” He’d also received a card and a gift from Nick and Jane and cards and gifts from Holly and Mitch at the family meal the day before. Val had also made him a cake and they’d sung happy birthday and all the kids joined in and the twins had made him a card. He was feeling well and truly spoilt, but his best present was from Nina – an invitation to dinner.
He left through the front door as the back had become muddy and he didn’t want to get his shoes in a mess. He’d spent ages soaking in the bath, scrubbing his nails, trying to look like someone who would normally eat at an award-winning bistro and not like someone who worked all day in a field.
He took the road, and kept close to the hedge, turning on the torch app on his phone in case a car passed. He smiled to himself as the village green came into view and the buildings looked inviting, emitting a yellow glow from their signs and the windows. It was a real treat to see Nina on a Tuesday. To see her two days running. Mondays had become his favourite day of the week. Nina ate with them at Booth Farm, then they both attended the antenatal class to spend time with a group of people who thought they were a couple. Calm down man, he told himself. The classes would soon come to an end. One couple had already had their child and Nina’s was due in only two weeks and they said that at thirty-eight weeks, the baby would be considered full term. So it could really be any day. Warren wondered whether Nina would keep up with the friendships she’d made at the classes. He felt sick at the thought of her telling people they’d split up if she had to explain his absence in her life at future meet ups. What would they think of him? It made him even more determined to win her over. His main goal was to be the full support she needed over the coming weeks and he hoped that when the baby was born she would let him into her life, completely.
When he reached the bistro, he opened the door. Nina was already there. She smiled at him from a table and a young woman approached him.
“Hi, I’m Natalie, welcome to the Eversley Bistro. Shall I take your coat?”
Nina smiled at him as he reached the table and he kissed her on the cheek. “Thanks for bringing me here, I always wondered what this place looked like on the inside.” It was an intimate setting with a mixture of stone and plastered walls, displaying a few pictures of the village.
They were seated in the corner.
“It’s popular in here,” he said, looking around. Every table was filled.
“It’s booked up months in advance,” Nina said. “But Julian blocks out a couple of tables every week for locals. I hope you like it. Adam’s an amazing chef.”
Warren studied the menu. “Is there anything you recommend?”
“The menu changes every week,” Nina said. “But I’m having the salmon pasta.”
“That sounds good, and so does the Thai pork belly. I’ll have that.” Warren put the menu down. “You look…” All he could hear was the word beautiful in his head and his mind momentarily went blank.
Nina looked at him expectantly.
“…happy,” he said.
“I am. I didn’t realise how tense I was, not having a place suitable for the baby, until I got it. After being in the pub for months, the cottage feels like a haven.”
“What’s it like living next door to Jaz?”
“No one bothers me and Jaz is really busy negotiating her motorhome stock for next year. And she’s been filling in at the pub with Julian, now Simon has left completely, to give Rob his days off. He’s moved into The Eversley now I’ve left. But moving to Ashbury Gardens has made me feel so settled and if things keep going as they are with my business, in a year or so when I’ve some solid accounts, I might be able to raise a mortgage to buy it.”
Warren stopped himself from saying he’d love to go back there with her and see the place. He was becoming increasingly self-conscious about his feelings for Nina, maybe it was because it appeared he couldn’t hide them from the rest of the world. He found it confusing with the mixed signals she gave him, feeling she liked him, yet her words always suggested they were just friends. He didn’t want to overstep the mark and ruin their friendship, especially at a time when she needed a friend most.
“Have you had a nice birthday?” she asked.
“It’s been a good day on the field and the evening’s even better.”
She took a sip of her water. “How’s your lottery application going?”
He felt a dull sickness seep into his gut. “I’m in the latter stages. Although I’m worried about the vetting process.”
“Why would that make you nervous?”
He lowered his voice. “As you know, I’ve a troubled past.”
“You were a wayward child, not a wayward adult.”
Warren nodded. “But there’s still a record of it. Even if I was fifteen.” He wasn’t sure how far back checks were made but the form specifically asked for any convictions, so he’d had no choice but to add it, because if he didn’t and it was flagged up, he would be considered to be lying and that would be an instant no to funding.
“There’s something you’ve kept back, isn’t there?” she said, looking at him over her glass of water. When he didn’t reply she continued, “You can tell me about it later, if it’s worrying you this much.”
He smiled back. It would be good to tell someone, he’d carried it with him for so long. But on the other hand, he didn’t want Nina to be put off. But it was also delaying him posting the form, which was still in his room, in the envelope. Everything had been completed with supporting documents. All he needed was the stamp.
“Stop looking so worried. It’s your birthday.” Nina touched his hand.
He smiled back at her and pushed his thoughts aside, appreciating the feel of her touch.
The meal was delicious, the pork belly had been slow-cooked until tender and then crisped and glazed with a tangy and aromatic sauce with jasmine rice. They chatted about the bistro and the chef, Adam, came out for a short chat with them. Then Julian and Jaz came through from the back holding a chocolate birthday cake, just big enough for two with a candle atop as the rest of the diners joined in and sang Happy Birthday .
“Thanks guys,” Warren said, having blown out the candle, thoroughly embarrassed but also touched at the same time.
Warren sipped his coffee, feeling completely satisfied having shared the decadent birthday cake with Nina, which was a warm chocolate fudge. Adam had brought out salted caramel ice cream to accompany it.
“Did you have a nice evening?” Nina asked.
“I did and thank you.”
“I have something else for you,” Nina said. “At my place.”
“Okay,” he said. Being alone with Nina would be the best birthday present of all. He didn’t add that but wondered what it was she had got him.
They took the short stroll back. It had rained so they walked around the periphery of the green rather than across it and Nina slipped her arm into his. He slowed, wanting to savour walking along with her like that, feeling so close to her, as if she was his and they were together, as a couple.
Once at her new home of 5a Ashbury Gardens, he followed her inside and removed his shoes. “This is great,” he said, feeling instantly at home.
Warren knew cottages in Eversley sold at a premium. He wished he’d the money to support her. Slow down, he told himself. He knew with the weekly antenatal classes he’d been getting carried away. As much as he wanted her, the reality was that Nina belonged in a different class to him. He’d never lived in a home this sleek. He’d often been in crowded homes, and then in the small second bedroom in the flat above the café back in Bristol. Or tiny rooms in student accommodation. The room he had at Booth Farm was the largest he’d ever had, but that was not his either, he was a tenant. He realised their backgrounds couldn’t be more different.
“Are you okay?” Nina asked. “Is it because I asked you earlier about your past?”
No, it wasn’t that. It was that he felt he would never be good enough to take care of a woman who had spent a lifetime living in comfort. But how could he tell her that?
She grabbed his hand which felt so soft in his. “Come on, tell me all about the thing you’re worried about, the thing that you don’t want the lottery funding to find out about. Get it off your chest and out of the way.”
He’d not told anyone, other than Nick and Jane, and that was only because Darius had forced him to after he’d found out about it through his job as a police officer.
Nina motioned for him to take a seat on the sofa and then sat beside him. All he could think of was holding her, of kissing her, as he looked into her warm brown eyes.
“So, what happened?” she asked.
He took a deep breath, realising it was best to get straight to the point, with no preamble, no excuses. “There was this guy, Logan. He was older than Scottie and me. We were still kids, fifteen, Logan was nearly twenty.”
“Scottie, he’s the one always pestering you for money, who you grew up with?”
“Yes. Logan asked us to help him with a house clearance, he called it. He said there would be fifty pounds for each for us. When we got to the house, in a van he told us he’d borrowed from a mate, we went around to the back door which wasn’t locked. It didn’t strike me as odd at the time.”
“He was breaking in?” Nina asked.
“Yes. He started pulling open drawers then ordered us to do the same and take anything that looked valuable. I asked him what was going on and he said an old lady had died and we were doing a house clearance of anything valuable with the rest of it going to Staple Hill tip the next day. Scottie was a lot more gullible than me and carried on, but I could tell Logan was lying – he was twitchy and pulled the curtains closed, so no one could see us. I challenged him. He came up to me.” Warren stopped, remembering the vile look on Logan’s face, the way he’d stuck his finger right up to his nose. “He told me to shut up, that we were in it together and if he got caught, so would we.”
Nina rubbed his arm. “Go on.”
“An elderly lady appeared at the lounge door, in her nightgown. ‘Who are you?’ she asked. Logan was surprised and asked why she wasn’t at bingo and she said she had a cold, then asked whether he was Betty’s grandson.”
“He was robbing his grandmother’s friend?”
“Yes, then he went for her. She screamed and he kicked her then grabbed the bag he had and ran out. He called us to follow him and Scottie went, but I couldn’t leave the woman. She had blood on her face and was sobbing. It was bad. Scottie came back and called me from the door. Then I heard the sirens – I guess one of the neighbours had called the police. Scottie ran off and I heard the van screech away. I felt paralysed, as if I couldn’t leave. I slumped down to the carpet and waited with the lady, telling her help was coming. It felt like it was only seconds until the police got there.”
“What did you tell them?”
“I couldn’t snitch on Logan. I was petrified of him and I considered Scottie to be my brother. So I was taken in.”
“You took the blame for breaking in and assaulting an old lady?”
Warren hung his head. “I had no choice.”
“What happened to her?”
“Thankfully she only had cuts and bruises, but they reported it in the local press, that a youth had broken in and beaten her up and showed a photo of her face swollen with black eyes. But the police knew it wasn’t me as the neighbour who called them described Logan and Scottie running from the scene and driving off. They knew it was Logan, they’d been after him for a while, they told me so, saying that I’d have no record if I agreed to be a witness against him, but if I didn’t, I would go down on record as having committed a crime. But I wouldn’t rat on them. They even had him in for questioning, but couldn’t pin it on him. Logan always got away with it. They found no evidence. The van he’d used was stolen so wasn’t traced back to him. The old lady wasn’t able to identify Logan in a line up and picked the wrong guy and said she couldn’t be sure it was Logan as she hadn’t been wearing her glasses. That he probably just looked like him. The police were easy on me in the end, and said I did a good thing, waiting with the poor lady, but I was still charged with being an accessory to burglary and received a reprimand. I was told if I slipped up again I would be punished.” He took in a deep breath. He remembered, six months later, when Darius had shown him his police badge in the café for attempting to steal his bike. At the time he’d thought that was it.
He looked into Nina’s eyes. “I’ve had to disclose it, and I’m worried it’ll ruin my chances. I’ve not told anyone before and didn’t disclose it on my university application. So I feel a bit awkward, as if I should mention it to Mitch. I need the funding so he can be compensated for me taking the field.”
“And you’ve been carrying this around with you?”
He looked into her eyes as she placed her hand on his forearm and in that moment felt so close to her. He moved an inch forward. What are you doing? he asked himself, then leaned back, thinking of something to say to diffuse the situation. He’d told himself not to come on to her, that wasn’t what a friend did. “Are you going to show me the place?”
“In a minute.” Nina leaned forward until he felt her lips upon his. It was a brief kiss. She leaned back and smiled at him. “You look stunned.”
“I…”
She leaned forward again and this time it was not a quick brush of the lips. He wrapped his arms around her, gently pulling her close as he felt the warmth of her lips, pressing his harder against hers as his mind swam and body reacted, so much so that he wanted to cocoon her and stay that way. She put her hands around his neck and brought him closer and ran her hand over his hair, setting his body on fire. As the kiss became deeper and passionate his whole being wanted her.
She pulled away. “The baby’s kicking,” she said with a laugh. “It’s saying no, Ma let me out.”
He smiled at her as her eyes seemed to glisten, reflecting the warm light of the nearby lamp. “Nina. I’ve wanted to do that so much, for months,” he said gazing at her, his vision slightly blurred.
“Me too,” she said. “And if you were wondering, that was your birthday present.”
“You planned it?” He chuckled then gazed again into her warm eyes. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever set eyes on and each time I see you I have to battle with myself not to tell you.” Now that he’d spoken, it was as if he could not stop himself. “All I think of is you, all I want is to be with you. To hold you, to care for you, to protect you. Sorry.” He paused and rubbed a hand over his head. “I’m saying too much.”
She pulled him close for another kiss, which told him she was far from put off by his expression of emotion.
After a while she leaned her head on his shoulder.
“I wish I could provide for you,” Warren said. “To buy this place for you two and everything you wish for.”
“Hey, Warren. Ethan could afford buy me anything and where’s he? Thousands of miles away. He may as well be on the moon. You want me for me, at a time when I’ve been feeling lost and uncertain. Whereas he just ran away from it. You’re the perfect man. My worry has been that you’ll wake up one day and wonder where your life went, throwing opportunities away to be bogged down with me.”
“Nina, my life has been hard. But you’ve opened something inside me, a feeling I’ve never experienced. You’ve given me hope. Even though you’ve pushed me away at times.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve been scared.”
“I know what it’s like to be let down,” he said. “Starting with my mother.”
Nina softened her voice. “She died. I’m sure she loved you.”
Warren felt a rush of emotion he wasn’t expecting, so strong he couldn’t control it and his eyes brimmed with tears. His mother was the only woman, the only person he had ever uttered the words to – I love you. He swallowed. “Sorry, I don’t know where that came from,” he said, his voice gruff.
“Hey, oh my goodness, I didn’t mean to upset you on your birthday!” Nina put her arms around him and squeezed him.
He needed to explain and then never to mention it again. He had to get this out of the way, before he could allow himself to move forward. “I was the one who found her.” The picture rushed into his mind, a picture he never allowed himself to see, a picture which snuck into his nightmares. He stared at it in his mind, as if allowing it to be seen, his mother lying there, lifeless. “She didn’t love me enough, she didn’t want me, because she ended it, herself.”
Nina pulled away and her chin trembled, then she held him tightly. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise.”
“Because I didn’t say. To anyone. Not even Nick and Jane.” He took a deep breath. “All I want is to take care of you. And I know we need to take it slow. But at least let’s say we’re together. Will you allow me to call you my girlfriend and take it from there?”
“I’m scared of being let down,” she said and then looked into his eyes. She appeared so fragile.
“I promise you, Nina. I’ll never let you down and I’ll always be here for you.”
“Honestly? Even when I’m in labour?”
“Especially that day, I’ve already had all the training.” He chuckled. “I promise that I’ll be there for you.”
After a coffee, she showed him the house. In the bedroom, she pulled him to the bed and he lay down beside her and held her close, feeling closer to her than he’d ever felt to anyone in his life since the day his mother left him, and they remained that way, fully clothed, until the early hours of the morning.