Chapter Fifty-Seven
Fifty-Seven
Shelby walked straight from the ferry to the shuttered Land’s End storefront in a sort of pilgrimage. But if she expected to find answers in the shadows of the darkened building, she knew in that moment it wouldn’t be that simple.
Shelby hadn’t known what to do with herself after leaving Claudia’s office. She’d set the meeting certain she was pulling the book. But while she was willing to lose her pub date and the book, she hadn’t expected she’d lose her agent, too.
Wandering around New York, wringing her hands, wasn’t going to help. Impulsively, she bought a train ticket to Boston and ferry tickets to Ptown.
As promised, Hunter was waiting for her at the house. They sat out back, on Adirondack chairs with a chilled bottle of vodka and two shot glasses on a small table between them. The air smelled particularly pungent. Shelby knew from Justin this indicated a possible mass of seaweed washed ashore, or possibly an algae bloom. But she didn’t want to think about Justin. Justin was another thing to feel bad about.
“I know you don’t want to talk about it,” Hunter began. “But I have to say again I’m so sorry about the thing with Anders. I wish I could undo it.”
Hunter’s pretty face was tense, her eyes cast downward. “I’ve moved on,” she said. “Really.”
Shelby offered a small smile. “I’m not here to get into all that. I just want to make things right again. With all three of us. But Colleen won’t take any of my calls or answer my messages.”
“It might take her some time to get over her feelings about the book,” Hunter said. “I don’t think there’s anything you can say that will change that.”
Animals rustled in the shrubs below the deck, their motion turning on the automatic light sensors.
“I know there’s nothing I can say . But there’s something I can do. I can cancel the book.”
Hunter, filling her shot glass, put the bottle down and turned to her. “Are you serious? That’s an option?”
“My agent will drop me. But I can do it.”
Hunter knocked back the shot and poured one for her. “You sure about this?”
“No. I’m not sure. But I can’t publish and promote a book that cost me a best friend. And the whole point of the book was to celebrate Land’s End, and now it’s gone so it seems... It’s just not right anymore. I can’t live with it.” She accepted the shot glass and swallowed half the vodka, feeling the burn and realizing she didn’t want it after all. She set the glass down.
“And you haven’t told Colleen?”
Shelby shook her head. “I’m trying to. She won’t take my calls, and in the meantime, she’s sitting there all upset about a book that isn’t going to publish. I need to get through to her.”
Hunter nodded, but looked uncertain.
“What is it?” Shelby said.
“I mean, logically she should forgive you if you sacrifice your novel. But there aren’t any guarantees.”
“I know,” Shelby said. She couldn’t control how Colleen reacted. She could only do what she felt was right. “But it’s a moot point right now. She won’t take a call from me. And this isn’t something I want to text.”
Hunter nodded and picked up the phone resting beside her. “I’ll call.”
“You’ll tell her for me?”
Hunter shook her head. “No. It has to come from you. But I’ll get her on FaceTime.”
Shelby considered it for a few seconds, then nodded. Hunter made the call, alone in the frame.
“Hey,” Hunter said. “You got a minute? I’m here with Shelby. She has something to say that you need to hear.”
Before Colleen could respond, Hunter passed her the phone. Shelby took a breath, then faced Colleen through the screen.
“I really don’t have the energy for this,” Colleen said. Her blond hair was up in a ponytail and her face was puffy. “Put Hunter back on.”
Shelby hesitated. She didn’t want to stress her out, but the only way to alleviate her worry was to push forward with the conversation. “Okay. But one thing first: I’m not publishing the novel.”
Colleen frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I told my agent I’m scrapping the book. You’re more important to me.”
“Wait. Are you serious?”
Shelby felt a weight lift, as if she’d been holding her breath for the past week and just now exhaled. “I just hope you’ll forgive me and forget about all this and enjoy being a new mom.” Beside her, Hunter reached out and touched her shoulder.
After a second or two of silence, Colleen said, “That means a lot to me, Shelby.”
Shelby felt a lump in her chest. She didn’t know if it was relief, or the intensity of the call, or lingering terror at what she was doing to her career.
All she could do was hand the phone back to Hunter.
Hunter lay in bed wide-awake. The click and hum of nocturnal insects in the tall beach grass outside her bedroom window was usually enough to lull her to sleep. Well, that and a few drinks. But she was wide-awake hours after saying good night to Shelby.
There was no reason for her mind to be racing so much. Colleen was happy that Shelby was pulling her book. And Shelby seemed to be in a forgiving mood herself; maybe they’d be able to move past the Anders Fleming fiasco after all.
Now all she had to do was figure out her job situation. It shouldn’t be that hard, especially compared to what Shelby just did with her own career. Hunter had to give her credit for a very gutsy move.
She hated to admit it, but seeing Shelby’s sacrifice she realized that personally, she made her own major life decisions out of fear. Fear of people using her for her parents’ money. Fear of never accomplishing anything on her own because so much had been handed to her. Fear of failure. Fear of relationships.
But she’d never been afraid of her friendships with Shelby and Colleen. That was why the character in Secrets of Summer had stung so much. She felt exposed by one of the few people she trusted. But now, seeing how Colleen reacted to the new novel, she realized she’d actually been most upset with herself. Shelby’s character had reflected herself back at her, and she didn’t like what she’d seen.
At close to midnight, she gave up on sleep and padded down the hall to Shelby’s room. She opened the door slowly.
“Shelby?” she called out softly. The window shade wasn’t entirely drawn and moonlight cast a wide beam across the hardwood floor.
“Mmmm,” Shelby said.
“Are you awake?”
She heard sheets rustling around and could see in the shadows that Shelby sat up.
“Sort of.”
Hunter climbed into the king-size bed next to her. After being college roommates for four years, the right to wake each other up in the middle of the night was baked into their relationship. The room was cooler than her own. She shivered under the whir of the overhead fan, and folded the edge of the comforter so it covered her bare legs.
“I have a job interview on Monday,” she said.
“Where?”
“Paragon agency. I’m not sure about it. I don’t think I belong in New York.”
Shelby shifted position, lying back down. “I don’t belong anywhere. Sometimes you just have to go where you need to go.”
Hunter considered this. Shelby was quiet, and Hunter thought maybe she’d fallen back to sleep. But then Shelby said, “You’ll do great. You can stay at my apartment if you don’t want to go back and forth.”
“Really?” Hunter said. “Okay, thanks. And you can stay here. We can house-swap. Just like in a movie.” The idea of it made her feel buoyant, like her job interview was less of a solitary venture. Shelby would be waiting for her when she got back. They could analyze it and gossip about the people she’d meet. Even if she didn’t get the job, she’d have a story to share.
She felt less afraid already.
“Shelby, I missed you these past few years.”
“I missed you, too.”
She lay down next to her, knowing she’d finally be able to sleep.