74. Victor
Victor
Clara says she’s sure, but I can’t imagine she understands. Can’t imagine she’ll do anything but regret it once she sees the mess I am inside. Still, I would never deny her. And I’m weak. Too weak to do anything but sink my teeth into her perfect, smooth skin. It’s so supple beneath my tongue.
She doesn’t hesitate. She takes Dagan’s hand. The hands he uses to talk to her with. And bites the left one. Whenever he signs, her bond will be there with him. Then she turns to me and leans down. She doesn’t give me a single moment to think too much about it as she bites my neck.
She gasps and then, she’s there. Like the light at the end of a cold, dark tunnel, I feel her enter me.
She’s moonlight and apples and sweet and perfect.
She’s certainty, in us, in our pack, and certainty…
in me. The connection she feels for me, the love I’ve felt for her even when I was being self-destructive.
It's there. It steals my air and makes breathing a sawing, painful thing.
I could never have imagined that someone as beautiful as her would want someone as damaged as me.
And it’s not just her. The rest of the pack is there too. They’re there and they’re—
"Why—?" Bram’s eyes meet mine, concerned and confused. "We’re your pack, Victor. Why haven’t you told us any of this?"
Bec ause fuck, I’m transmitting every feeling in real time and I don’t know how to close the door on this bond yet. Dammit, there’s nowhere to put this, nowhere to—
"You don’t have to hide, Victor. We can be here for you," Clara says.
I look to Dagan over her shoulder, and he’s watching me with glassy eyes. This is his pack. It’s always just been his pack. I’m just the baggage he came with and—
"No!" Bram’s bark echoes through the room, and it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him put his full dominance behind it. He strides over and kneels beside me, placing one hand on my shoulder and giving it a slight shake.
His voice softens. "No. You were not asked to be part of this pack for Dagan’s sake or because of some family origin story. You’re ours, Victor. With or without Dagan, you’re my brother by choice, and I love you. We all do. You can be an ass, but that doesn’t change who you really are underneath."
I don’t scoff, but damn, I want to. "And who’s that?" It’s meant to be rhetorical, but Jack answers it from behind Bram anyway.
"A good alpha."
My jaw locks hard enough to ache, but it doesn’t stop a single tear from breaking free and sliding down my cheek. I nod, because I can’t speak around the knot in my throat. And then Clara’s arms are around my neck, pulling me in like I belong there.
And for the first time in a long time… I believe I do.