Chapter 95
I activated Gloom Wraith Phase just as the notifications came.
System Message: Taranis has entered the realm.
System Message: Emberus has entered the realm.
This deity is too distant to activate your Scavenger’s Daughter.
Penny and I shot forward, zooming through the wall of the creature, stopping somewhere deep in the guts of the beast. Blood showered as we entered the cavernous interior, moving like a bullet.
The skill was at level 13, and we tore a hole right into the beast, stopping in the center of its flesh.
It let out an angry chitter, but I doubt this hurt it at all.
Uh, Entering Scolopendra.
We tumbled to a stop in the pitch-black, slid, and then stopped at something squishy as the beast continued to wrap around the tree.
You are in the presence of a deity. The Scavenger’s Daughter has opened her eyes. She fills with power.
Temporary effect from Taranis: All of your lightning-based attacks are now 50% more powerful. However, you now take 100% more damage from lightning attacks yourself.
I gasped. Good, good, I thought. The patch was working as Rosetta and Mordecai had said it would.
Despite the splooge, this chamber we’d entered had no air. I’d hoped the splooge would allow us to breathe, but it didn’t seem to work. Did splooge even count as a potion? It acted as one, but I hadn’t really thought about it until just this moment.
Penny started to struggle. A health bar appeared.
Damnit. Even with the water breathing I knew she now had and the splooge, it didn’t work.
I had multiple potions of anti–oxygen deprivation that Mordecai had made for us, and I applied one to myself.
I pulled another, ready to smash it against Penny, but I paused.
I jumped into the party menu and looked at her stats. Her constitution was only three.
Carl: Penny, what’s your potion cooldown?
If I gave her another potion too quickly, she’d get poisoned.
Penny: I CAN’T SNORT. I CAN’T MAKE brEATHS. I NEED MORE SPLOOGE.
Shit, shit. I hadn’t thought this part through.
I dove back into my inventory, looking. An item caught my eye.
It was from the pile of jewelry that Mistress Tiatha had set aside, taken from previous crawlers.
It was a nipple ring called Petey Motteux’s Little Secret.
I didn’t want it, and Donut had refused it.
It was too big for her to eat when she had the kneepads, so I had planned on giving it back, but I hadn’t had the time.
The large, thick ring gave the wearer the Oxygenated benefit, along with something called the Bawdy benefit, which automatically marked any bars and dance halls and “chocolate houses” on a map.
It was just one of hundreds of weird magical items we’d come across.
But for now, it was the only choice we had. I shoved the empty gun into the fancy holster, reached forward until I felt a nipple on the pig, and installed the ring by piercing the pig’s flesh.
A new achievement flashed as Penny squealed in surprised pain.
From outside, angry thunder boomed. That was a relief.
I’d done it correctly. Taranis was outside Scolopendra, and Emberus would be inside, meaning he’d summon at human size.
When he was in that form, his presence, in theory, wouldn’t melt the world.
I’d never actually seen the god in his regular form. But first we had to get to him.
Mordecai: The splooge is a type of potion, but it’s different than regular kinds. It’s treated more like a food-based buff, so the cooldown rules don’t apply.
Carl: Now you tell me. I just pierced a pig’s nipple.
Mordecai: I don’t know how to respond to that, Carl.
I was worried we’d get stuck in solid flesh, but I’d hoped we’d end up right in the club. Neither happened.
We were in some massive chamber with an uneven, slippery, stinking floor. Already, the hole we’d torn to get here had healed. I dropped a torch, but it didn’t light. I found a goblin sparkler, and I dropped it. That worked.
My map populated. We were close. There was a tube that ran the length of the beast, likely some sort of digestive system. I wasn’t fully up on my kaiju bug anatomy. But the exterior walls of the club were plain on the map, maybe fifty meters away.
“Hang on,” I called as I cast Oozy Form.
Splatch!
I’d only done this once, and the sensation wasn’t like anything I’d ever experienced.
I lost my eyes and my ears, and my vision was suddenly all around, and I could see perfectly in the dark.
Thanks to the magic of the carrier, Penny was also now a part of me, and I didn’t even want to think how that worked.
I aimed for the building wall and slimed my way toward it, pushing through and around and over strange, giant, pulsing organs.
I checked the timer. We had forty seconds until Scolopendra’s next attack.
We’d anticipated the attack from the centipede. Right now everyone was hunkered down inside of the RV from team Makana. Twenty-two crawlers plus all the mercenaries shoved into the same vehicle with the Apito memorial crystal around Prepotente’s neck. It would, in theory, protect them all.
Once that was over, they’d finally move into the arena.
I did not know if being literally inside Club Scolopendra would protect me and Penny. I hoped it would. If it didn’t and it killed Penny, hopefully Taranis would unleash his wrath on Scolopendra, killing her.
That was only one of multiple contingencies, but that wasn’t the main plan. We had contingencies stacked upon contingencies. That was the only way to truly survive here.
I couldn’t actually remember the first time the dungeon had given me a hint on how to defeat Scolopendra. There were a lot of them peppered throughout the dungeon descriptions over the floors, but the first time I noticed was during one of the god descriptions during the Thorn room.
Look for the clues. Every single one of those descriptions had one thing in common.
Lightning. That was the secret. That was one of two reasons why I knew Taranis, god of lightning, had to be here.
But we couldn’t rely on him. So all of us were strapped head to toe in lightning spells.
Every single page from Carl’s Book of Boom, Donut’s A Banquet Fit for a Princess, and the original Book of Voodoo that offered lightning magic had now been removed. I personally had consumed ten different spells. Donut had a dozen. Elle, too.
But . . .
Contingencies upon contingencies.
The plan wasn’t to kill Scolopendra. That was the backup. All of this planning with the gods, all of it was a fallback if this absolutely batshit plan didn’t work.
I found a door just sitting there attached to the end of some sort of tube, and we squeezed under it, coming into the building.
Entering Club Scolopendra.
You have distanced yourself from Taranis, and the benefit fades.
You have entered the presence of another deity.
Temporary effect from Emberus: You are immune to Sheol-based attacks.
Oh, thank god, I thought. I hadn’t been sure about this last part, but it worked. The protections of the club supposedly safeguarded those inside from external deity auras. I hoped it would work against Scolopendra’s attacks as well.
We entered the shaking blood-splattered hallway. I canceled the ooze, and I reconstituted on my back on the floor. I pulled myself up and looked about. The map showed multiple moving red dots along with several purple dots indicating tourists.
The star that designated Emberus stood in a wide center room just down a stairwell. Not too far but on a different level. As I watched, multiple red dots in that room turned to X’s.
A voice boomed. This was from outside, muted. Taranis. “Penelope! My sweet love! Hold on! I will protect you as soon as I figure out how to get you out!”
Penny: WHO IS THAT?
“Uh, don’t worry about him,” I said out loud.
And then a new voice boomed, this one from inside the club. “Carl!” Emberus called. “I am here!” His voice shook the walls.
In the hall, hanging from a sticky, orange-colored spiderweb, was a creature. An alien. A tourist.
She was some sort of thin stick-figure alien I’d never seen before.
She had a health bar, but it showed just the barest sliver of red.
She had long, dripping quills sticking out of every exposed surface of her body.
I wasn’t sure I knew what this species was supposed to look like, and I only knew she was female because the description described her as such.
She quivered and gasped. She had been horrifically tortured and flayed. The horrors I’d witnessed in Architect Houston’s surgical theater were nothing compared to this.
Cerni Pinta.
Non-Player Tourist.
Guest of Club Scolopendra, and she is currently checked into room #422 along with her three husbands.
Pinta is a type of alien called a bristle. She is the vice president of Nova Client Services, LTD., a notorious medical collections agency whose primary client is the Viceroy system. They specialize in implant reclamation and indenture captures for delinquent medical debt accounts.
I yanked one of the quills from her, and I pulled it into my inventory.
“Kill me,” the alien Pinta croaked. “She’s coming back. Kill me. Please, please, please.”
No, I wanted to say, you should suffer. But that wasn’t me. It would never be me, and I needed to remember that because I kept wanting to forget.
“Okay,” I said. “Okay. Hang on.”
Donut: CARL, IT’S COMING.
System Message: Scolopendra has released the second of nine attacks.
A wheel appeared right there in the hallway.
“Oh shit,” I said. The club wasn’t protecting me from the attack!
The ox spot was gone, leaving eight spots on the wheel. It started to spin. Tick, tick, tick. It landed on the squiggles.
Sin of Consumption.
Er, not sure how this one is going to be treated as a “temporary” attack, but here we go. Everyone has a 30% chance to be hit.