PART 3 #2
Dozer lets go. His gaze darts up and behind me to what I assume is a pissed off Mav. Then looking down at me. he asks, “What’s he doin’? Playin’ hide and seek with Will?”
The door opens behind him as I shake my head. “No, Mav thinks he’s implementing a new five second rule with me. He’s threatening to remove arms if you guys touch me longer than that.”
“And you’re lookin’ like you wanna be armless,” Mav threatens. his voice low and sharp enough to cut glass.
Glancing over my shoulder, I catch him leaning casually against the wall, though there’s nothing casual about the energy rolling off him.
His arms are crossed, the black dress shirt pulled tight around biceps that look as if they could split the fabric with one wrong move.
Tan slacks stretch over his impossibly long legs, which are crossed at the ankles in a stance that screams both confidence and warning.
It’s a relaxed pose, but the tension in his body tells another story. The veins running down his forearms, exposed below his rolled-up sleeves, pulse with the kind of quiet strength that demands respect—and fear.
I hear Griz’s laugh before I see him. He didn’t knock because he never knocks. He practically lives here with us. “Good luck with that one, brotha. You ain’t keepin’ me from touchin' and huggin’ on my girl.”
“My girl,” Mav growls.
Turning, I glare at him. He curses, glowers at the two bikers in the entryway, and then pushes off the wall and heads back into the kitchen.
“Check on the ham!” I shout to him as he walks away. “And this time, don’t burn it.”
“One time!” he shouts back. Then grumbles, “And it’s your fault. You distracted me.”
Griz's red and silver hair is pulled into a low ponytail at his nap.
His beard nearly reaches the top of his chest. He sets the three full bags filled to the brim with presents on the floor and moves close to throw his tattooed arms around me.
He kisses me on the top of my head and hugs me fiercely.
Did I mention he's my favorite? Because he is.
"Hey you," I say with emotion bubbling up inside me because it hits me at that exact moment, in this warm and welcoming hug with Griz, how wonderful this moment is.
Not just this moment but this day. These people.
My new family, and that for the first time ever, I am having the Christmas I've always dreamed of with the family I never knew was out there waiting for me.
When he pulls back, he grins and eyes me keenly, “Merry Christmas, sweetheart. How you feelin’?”
I fight the happiness tears threatening to come to the surface and swallow down the thickness in my throat before clearing it to say, “Good. Still no morning sickness. I guess I’m one of the lucky ones.”
“Good for you,” he says. "Blessed are those who go through the toughest struggles. Remember that darlin." He turns to Dozer and greets him. The three of us chat idly for a moment before Griz probs, “So about this ham. I thought you said there’d be turkey.”
Grinning, I say, “There’s some of that too."
Griz arches his brushy eyebrow as he says, “We talkin’ stuffing and gravy.” He rubs his belly as if in anticipation.
“The works," I confirm with a laugh.
Palming his beard, he grins wider. “That’s what I’m talkin’ about.” Then he eyes my vest. “Damn, darlin', that looks good on ya. You definitely make one fine old lady. You keep him on his toes, you hear?”
I nod, and we share a serious look for a moment that somehow shares the sediment that I won't let Mav ever treat me poorly again, and Griz will hand him if ass if he does.
Like I said. He's my favorite. We share an unspoken bond and I couldn't be happier to have him in my life.
Dozer finally notices the vest, or maybe he just didn’t want to acknowledge it until now. Either way, his smile goes from genuine to brittle. “Yeah, looks good, Pumpkin. You happy?”
Smiling, I tell him with all the sincerity in the world. “I really am.”
He nods. “Glad to hear. Make sure he treats you right, yeah?”
“I will.”
From there, it's a madhouse as people arrive at once: Lily, Goose, Edge, and Rigor, quickly followed by Sunny, Smoke, Taz, and Whiz. Bethany and the kids arrive a little late, but I anticipated that so it's all good.
Finally, it’s time to eat. Mav carves up the turkey.
Griz slices the ham. Lily pulls everything cold that we’re eating out of the fridge and puts serving spoons in every dish.
Kendra helps the kids. Bethany lays out two large pans of funeral potatoes ready to serve, and a huge box of rolls she ordered from the bakery by her house.
I can tell right away that Bethany's nervous and maybe even a bit flustered, and I eye her curiously, but without time or the privacy to get into it, she whispers in passing that she’ll fill me in later.
Dozer ignores her like the plague, staying on the opposite side of the room. He even sits on the opposite end of the table from her. It’s probably not obvious to anyone but us.
At one point, when Bethany was talking to Rigor, who sat beside her, I saw Dozer glaring daggers their way. And it gave me the feeling that there’s more animosity between them now than there was a few months ago. It makes me wonder if something happened that I don’t know about.
I watch them occasionally and think about how sad it is that you can care so much about someone and yet put so much effort into avoiding them at all costs. I realize, though, it's because they're both scared of getting hurt and have so much history to work through.
Maybe that's it. They need time. When it's off, it promotes disaster and deeper hurts. When it's right, it simply works and unravels naturally. This fight they're struggling through makes a bit more sense when I think about it this way.
I just hope that one day when the timing is right, they put this same effort into making each other happy instead of pushing each other away.
As the dinner winds down, I catch sight of the solemn figure that is Taz. While everyone is talking and bantering back and forth, he seems to be in his own little world. As if mentally, he’s in another place entirely.
Mav did share with me that Taz still feels guilty about what happened with me and with Warner.
He's been letting Mav pummel him in the ring since that night, and seeing the truth of his words now; I make a mental note to try to catch Taz alone later and let him know that I don’t have any hard feelings.
But just in case that doesn’t smooth things over, I know how he can make it up to me.
Thoughts of finding Ivy dance in my head. Now that the apartment’s ready, it’s time to track her down and try to pay back the favor I owe her. Maybe Taz can help with that, and it'll keep his mind off whatever he's stewing over.
After dinner, the guys head out to the garage for a few beers and to smoke. The kids play in the backyard, and the women clean, gossip, and share a bottle of wine.
As I wash dishes, Lily dries. We’re nearly done when she leans in and whispers, so only I can hear. “I think Goose is using again.”
Caught off guard by her remark, I pause and look over at her. Her impeccable hair is curled and lying over one shoulder. She’s dressed to the nines, which is the only way she does it, in a black satin shirt, tight jeans, and cheetah print heels.
Her brows are drawn together, and her eyes dart to mine for a second. “He’s been gone a lot lately. He threw up this morning. Twice. He’s sweating like crazy. I think he’s going through withdrawals. I want to ask him, but if I’m wrong, he'll think I don’t trust him.”
I hear the back door open. Stealing a glance over my shoulder, I spy Goose as he comes in, and it’s as if he knows we’re talking about him because his gaze clashes with mine.
All of the guys follow him into the house and huddle at his back. It's the first sign that something's going on.
“Lil’.” Goose calls her name.
We both freeze up.
“Baby, come here for a second. I got somethin’ I wanna ask ya."
The tension in the room rises, and the guys murmur under their breaths to one another. Even Bodie is abnormally silent.
Lily drops the rag on the counter. She pulls in a deep inhale before turning and facing him. I turn, too, and watch her saunter across the room to him.
Goose doesn’t look happy. In fact, he looks downright sick. Lily was right about something going on with him. His skin is pale, and he’s fidgeting like crazy, rubbing his hands together and using both hands to comb his long peppery hair away falling into his face.
A hush falls over the entire room as Lily stops in front of him.
It dawns on me in an instant why Goose looks like he’s about to vomit. But it hasn’t dawned on Lily yet, because she looks around with panicked eyes and then asks Goose, “What’s wrong, baby?” She runs her hand through his hair and tucks a piece that’s already fallen out of place back from his face.
Goose grabs Lily's hand somewhat abruptly. Going for broke, he grabs her other hand and pulls her closer. Then in a rush of moment, he drops down to one knee.
Gasps echo around the room.
Lily’s hand flies up to cover her mouth. “Finn.”
“Baby, you’ve probably been wondering what the hell’s been going on with me. I know I’ve been acting fuckin’ mental. But I’ve just been trying to find a way to ask you somethin’ important. Probably the biggest question I’ll ever ask you.”
We’re all smiling, and half the women are already crying. So when Lily bursts into tears and starts shaking her head no, not just no, but also backing away, the entire room goes absolutely still.
The fear in Goose’s face changes to panic. “Baby.”
Lily loses it. She turns and while whispering, “I’m sorry.” She runs out of the room.
Goose doesn’t pause for a second. He shouts her name and runs after her, leaving us all standing there trying to make sense of what just happened.