26. Chapter 26
Chapter 26
Lea
L ea placed another crescent shaped seed into the moist ground, row after row of them, dirt caking her fingernails and staining her dress at the knees. Seeing her mother—her birth mother—had been too much. It was cruel the universe had taken Adelaide away—allowed her to believe Evangeline to be dead as well, only to reveal that she was the one who had been helping the king spread the Lonely Death further throughout the kingdom.
Gray was right. Lea couldn't blame her, not really. She surely hadn’t known the scale or size of what the king was planning, hadn't known that by serving him and doing his bidding, she had contributed to the devastation that plagued their kingdom. Evangeline had simply been trying to protect her daughter and biding her time, convinced there would come a day she would be able to kill the king herself.
Still, it felt like too much. Too much information. Too many moving pieces. She’d almost lost control earlier with Eudora. Could have easily killed her if she hadn’t morphed into her heron form and disappeared into the sky.Part of her wished she'd just done it—set her darkness free and allowed it to tear the witch apart limb from limb.
But the other half was relieved she'd held herself back. It was for the best that she hadn’t unleashed her magic in the middle of the dining hall, where she could have brought the entire castle down on their heads. Her magic was still overwhelming her. Even though Gray had helped her release it, she could feel it slowly building again, somehow angrier than before.
But here, planting her moonflowers outside in the eternal darkness, she felt—not calm exactly—but at least useful. The moonflowers flourished, blooming and creeping across the small plot of dirt Gray had taken her to so long ago to tend to. In what felt like a different lifetime. When she was a na?ve girl with nothing but hope and optimism for the future. A girl who didn't have the magic of the gods threatening to eat her alive from inside.
She wasn’t any closer to controlling her magic now than she had been a month ago, and frankly, she was surprised she hadn't lashed out and killed Eudora before she’d even had a chance to speak.
Lea’s shadows surged at the thought, and she clenched her jaw, forcing them to return to her side.
"You must follow the darkness."
Lea froze, her eyes lifting from the soil to where Evangeline stood several yards away, her long blond hair unbound and blowing gently in the wind. Behind the scars, beneath the horrors that she had endured, she was beautiful. But noticing the similarities in their features cut into Lea's heart like a finely honed blade, carving the already mangled mass of muscle into a bloody, pumping mess.
"So I've heard." Lea looked down at the flowers, funneling as much magic as she could into them. They would be leaving soon. To where, she didn't know. But they were running out of time, and staying here would help nothing. Alaric surely wouldn’t be coming to them. But Lea felt responsible for providing enough moonflowers to keep their army safe and wasn’t comfortable leaving until they had a store ten times the amount they might need.
"Gray can't help me harvest the petals," Lea said flatly. "And if you haven't noticed, it doesn't seem like the darkness is ever going to end. I have no choice but to embrace it." Without taking her eyes off the vines, Lea lifted a hand and waved it to the dark sky. She tried to keep the bite out of her words, knowing deep down that she would have made the same choices as Evangeline to protect those she loved most, but some part of her was unable to let go of the anger she felt at the situation it had put them all in.
"That's not what I'm referring to. Your magic, the magic of our ancestors." Evangeline sighed, lifting a foot as if to step closer, but pausing. "May I?"
Lea shrugged, and Evangeline moved forward. It made Lea shiver, knowing that the witch had been able to feel her agreement without her saying a word. Evangeline didn’t touch her as she settled down into the dirt, crossing her ankles over one another to sit sideways. Her fingers trailed absently in the soil, the flowers closest to her growing even faster, sprouting off multiple buds and splitting. They worked in silence for a moment, in tandem, until the entirety of the land around them was covered in pristine, living flowers. It took Lea’s breath away.
"What do you mean?" Lea finally asked, still refusing to look at Evangeline.
"I know how it feels to hold magic different from your own."
"The gods?" Lea finally looked up.
"Not as much as they gifted to you, but yes. A bit of their magic. But I'm mostly referring to Seraphine’s," Evangeline admitted.
"Eudora’s niece?" A ripple of disgust spread through Lea’s stomach at the thought of the traitorous bitch who had deceived them.
Evangeline nodded. "It’s how I was able to help the Black King. Eudora only gave me enough magic to strengthen my seeing abilities and to make a potion that would kill Brennus. But Seraphine? She gave it all—every last drop—in exchange for death." Evangeline pressed a hand to her chest. "It felt like it would rot me from the inside, like all it wanted was to escape from beneath my skin. It almost killed me. For years , I fought against it. It wasn't until I embraced it, made it a part of myself, that I was able to control it fully." Evangeline inhaled deeply through her nose. "It was like taking my first breath of fresh air after eons underwater. That darkness you’re feeling? You need to follow it. Embrace it."
Lea's heart pounded, picking up in rhythm at the idea of pulling her primary magic even deeper inside. All she’d done since the floor had broken during her battle with Alaric was try to compartmentalize it, attempt to make it as small as possible and hide it away. Lea thought she might throw up at the notion of doing the opposite.
"That's not who I want to be. The woman I am when the magic takes over. When I slip, everything else is gone. Every bit of anything good or kind," Lea admitted. "That's not who I want to be," she said again, louder, her heart racing at the thought that the only way to control that dark magic was to become it.
"But that is who you are. You are both of those things. You’re good and light, and you are vengeance and darkness. They're both a part of you as much as your blood and bone. We cannot change what is inside us, as much as we may wish," Evangeline said, her lips tipping down. She reached out, placing a hand on top of Lea's. Lea froze, tears threatening to spill over her lashes, but she swallowed them down. She didn't want to cry.
Never again. She was weak enough already. Too out of control.
"There’s no shame in being who you were born to be. In embracing every piece that makes you who you are—even the parts the world may find disagreeable. Because they're not. Every facet of you has a purpose. Especially the ones that scare you."
Lea fought back tears with shaking breaths. "And what if it destroys me?" she whispered, looking away, uncomfortable with this moment of vulnerability with a woman she didn't even know.
"The gods wouldn’t have given their power to you if it would destroy you. If they didn't know for certain you could claim it as your own, control it, and use it for good. You're the kingdom’s only hope, and they knew that. You know that."
Her words were gentle and soft, but still caused Lea's heart to pound. She knew Evangeline was right. Had known for some time that mastering her primary magic would require her to give into it, at least a bit.
"Your own magic. What you were born with. What is it like?" Lea asked, and Evangeline went back to digging in the dirt, pressing another seed into the soft ground.
"Not nearly so powerful as yours. I don't have both day and night magic, but my gift was unique. I was a seer, even before Seraphine. And I can—"
"Hold death at bay," Lea said, remembering Eudora describing her powers.
"Yes. I think it was my relationship with death that allowed me to assist the Black King with his spell. I tried to stop him. To only give him enough help to placate him, keep him from looking for you until I could escape the cage and kill him myself." Evangeline pressed her lips together. "I know I've caused a lot of harm. Truly, I was trying to protect you, but maybe I can help somehow."
Lea's mind flicked to Emma. How she’d connected the worlds to allow the dead to fight. But with Eudora gone, there was no way to get more of the potion that had allowed it. But maybe it wouldn’t be needed. Maybe Evangeline could keep death from coming for their army at all.
"I'm sure Gray and I can find a place for you." Lea rose to her feet, suddenly exhausted. "It's late. We can discuss it more tomorrow."
Evangeline nodded, twisting her hands in her lap. "I'd like to speak more, another time. If that's okay with you, I mean. About your life. What I missed."
Lea stiffened at the reminder of what she’d lost by not having Evangeline present the last twenty-three years. Grief worked its way up her throat, but she held it down, nodding.
"I love you, Azalea," Evangeline said.
Lea’s soul felt as if it was going to shatter. "Please, stop." Her voice broke. "I can't. Not right now. I know you were tortured. I know you thought you had no choice, and that you lived through things so horrible I will never understand. But please. If I have to forgive one more person, listen to one more excuse for why I didn’t get a mother, why I lost my mother—" She stopped to take a deep breath. "I'm barely holding it together."
Evangeline’s answering smile was sad. "Of course. When you're ready, then," she said. Lea nodded. And once again, she could tell that even without her sight, Evangeline had sensed her agreement, but whether it was from mother’s intuition or from her powers as a seer, Lea was too broken to ask.
Lea turned on her heel, but stopped when Evangeline fell to her knees, her head thrown back and her hands gripping the dirt. Her face scrunched as if in pain, and Lea wondered if behind Evangeline’s scarred skin, her eyes were turning the same milky white Eudora’s did when she had a vision. Lea rushed to her, desperate to help even though there was nothing to do but wait for the vision to pass.
Her stomach dropped as she took in the pain etched into every line on Evangeline’s face. Her lips twisted in a grimace, and a choked moan burst from her throat as if the vision was ripping her apart from the inside.
With a trembling hand, Lea reached out to comfort her, placing her palm on Evangeline’s shoulder. For what felt like minutes, Lea simply knelt there, hoping Evangeline knew she wasn’t alone, until she let out a deep breath and sank back onto her heels.
"Does it hurt? When you have visions, I mean? You looked as if you were in pain."
Evangeline’s fingers drifted absently to the scars on her face. "I'm used to it." She cleared her throat, tucking her hair back behind her ears. "It's nothing I can’t handle."
Lea heard what she didn't say— it's nothing compared to what the Black King did to me. The pain that she’d allowed him to inflict upon her to keep her only daughter safe.
"What did you see?" Lea asked, pushing down the surge of emotion rising up her throat. Evangeline scrunched her eyebrows, her mouth pinching in.
"I'm not sure. A large body of water with a rocky edge. There’s a forest around it with odd trees. Bare except for the very tops, and full of bird nests. I heard…" Evangeline tilted her head as if trying to summon the sound. "I heard breathing, I think. Wet breathing, like someone was injured, maybe? There’s a village on the other edge of the water. A small one. Maybe twelve houses? Do you know where it is?"
Lea racked her brain, but it didn't sound familiar, though she'd never been north of Auropera. "Gray will know. Did you see anything else?"
"A single phrase before I was pulled back. Quisque occidere …"
"What does it mean?" Lea asked, breathless, her heart pounding and her palms sweating.
"A spell…" Evangeline looked away, her hands shaking and her lips trembling. "It’s the beginning of the spell for the Lonely Death."
Lea’s shadows exploded, fear churning in her gut and spreading like wildfire through her veins. "It’s Alaric. It has to be. I injured him during the battle. It makes sense—the breathing, the darkness I forced inside him. He's trying to gain more power to heal. We have to tell Gray." She scrambled to her feet, taking Evangeline’s hand to quickly lead her back to the castle.
But it seemed they couldn’t move fast enough. As they climbed the stairs to the front hall, a single petal fell from Lea's crown, turning into black ash that danced away in the wind behind her, reminding her that even if this was a clue, time was not on her side.