7. Sirin #2
Sirin squinted her eyes. Looking was the problem?
If looking was the issue, it was because there was something to hide.
No one worried about people looking unless they had something they don't want to be found.
What could be so important to keep a secret that they killed trespassers?
Something terribly important, certainly.
There it was again, that creeping, ever-present optimism. Focus, Sirin. This is life or death. Actually, truly, life or death.
''So, what can I do then?'' she asked, a tremor in her voice. ''If they're going to execute me to keep their secrets, why haven't they done so yet? Do they want something from me?''
''I think what they want is to find some way other than killing you, but they don't have any ideas on how to accomplish that yet. I'm sorely certain they are not going to allow you to go home, no matter what you want to do,'' he pursed his lips ad rubbed his hands on his legs in chagrin.
''What, like imprisonment? Forever? For walking up a mountain?'' Sirin asked, incredulously, her voice rising in pitch from a sliver of fear she could feel creeping into her veins like ice.
''Not imprisonment, and not for ‘walking up a mountain.
' For putting your nose into business that's none of your concern.
Whether you intended to or not, it's what you did.
I'm wondering if instead, you might've accidentally relocated here.
Permanent-like.'' He grimaced. ''We do have newcomers now and again, but usually someone goes looking for 'em. They don't just wander on in.''
''Look Berne, I don't care about you or your people or whatever you have going on up here.
I will gladly give my word I will never tell anyone about you all.
You are so out of the way I doubt anyone would care if you exist. Certainly, no one is going out of their way to come to bother you all, or at least they haven't in—'' She gasped, realization hitting her like a boulder to the face.
''You're the reason all expeditions were lost. The ones that came up here from the Citadel! ''5
Berne pressed his lips together and paled further—if that was possible. He gave a curt nod. ''Likely so. We haven't had groups in nearly—''
''A hundred years,'' Sirin finished for him. When Lord Lagrath had explained the missing people, she'd known that they'd existed. They'd been numbers to her, indicating she wasn't the only one who wanted to know more. But now…
''Likely so, though there haven't been large groups from your people in almost a hundred years,'' he said..
Now, she found she could remember her travels north, she remembered the closeness she felt to those lost adventurers. Their shared purpose and spirits had kept her company, and the unknowable nature of their passing had kept her alert.
Knowing what had happened to them, that they'd been executed for their curiosity, left Sirin shaking. She felt cold, sick to her stomach.
''And now I might be too,'' she whispered.
''Not if I have my say,'' Berne said. ''I've got an idea or two that might be of use. There's been a lot of talks recently about these policies, and you might just be the troublemaker to force 'em to take a stance for sure.'' He reached a hand toward her before pulling it back as he flushed.
''I didn't come up here to cause you or your people any trouble, I only want to be left alone to do my research,'' Sirin insisted. ''I came up here to find the source of lunula. It is an extremely fragile resource we know next to nothing—''
''It is, aye,'' he interrupted quietly. ''And did you ever think the fact you know next to nothing might be by design?
That if you were meant to know, you might have been told?
Or if it was something you were meant to know, then it might not be so hard to find?
'' He dropped his head. ''Ach so, I don't know if we can convince them, the council I mean, to let you leave.
We can try, mind, but I don't think it is likely.
Instead, I think you should try for a reasonable compromise, so it is. ''
''And you are trying to tell me a reasonable compromise is moving here? Forever?''
''Ach, what I am trying to say is if you're so intent on finding something out, it might be in your best interest to stay where you can look,'' he raised his brows and crossed his hands over his chest.
Stay where she could look. A permanent base had been a potential outcome of her journey.
Ideally, she would prefer to return home with her research and bring the Lord Lunologist to his knees.
If they let her stay, she doubted that meant they would let her leave to release her research.
She chewed her lip. How much of her drive for answers relied on the ability to share them?
Would it be diminished if she was bound to secrecy?
She sat with it for a moment. She chewed her lip.
How much of her drive for answers relied on her ability to share them?
If she was bound to secrecy, then her research had no point.
Disappointment made her chest tight, and her eyes prickled with tears.
She still wanted answers, but she either gave in to these people's demands or died.
Yet, if she stayed, she could finally figure out everything she'd wondered for so long.
It galled, knowing her research might need to be secret, but it didn't quell her desire for answers.
And, she knew devious bits of her would never stop pushing regardless.
She might even be able to find folks around the area to help with her research.
''You think that is a possibility…I could continue my work, as long as I stayed? I imagine I wouldn't be allowed to leave in such a case. Maybe ever.'' Her voice was nothing but a whisper.
''Might be. I imagine if they let you stay, it would be fairly hard to stop you from doing your studies.
From what I saw, you research like you breathe.
You're constantly taking those wee plant clippings and writing in your book.
You'd be welcome, if you needed, to stay here, with me.
Until, well, you get things sorted.'' He dipped his head, blushing.
''Well yes, I might—'' She stopped. Plant clippings and writing in her book? When had he seen that? What else had he seen? The blood drained from her face. He had mentioned remembering her from the tavern, and he hadn't said he'd run into her after she fell, she'd just assumed.
''How do you know I have been taking plant clippings and notes?
How long have you been following me? I don't remember seeing you at all since the tavern.
'' She truly had no memory of him on the trail, not even a hint of another human anywhere around her until she woke up in the cave.
He must be an exceptional tracker, she'd not noticed him in the least. The idea of someone watching her for an extended period without her knowledge made her shudder, especially knowing how she'd passed the time.
It didn't matter how nice he seemed, if he could evade her senses for any length of time, it was evident Berne could be extremely dangerous if he wanted.
''Don't look at me like I'm some pervert, watching you was literally my job.
Been following you for about a week, and I didn't see you much at all, so don't worry, I don't go around spying on ladies while they pee or anything.
I'd hoped you would find your way back downriver, or I could dissuade you from coming closer, but I swear, you just kept on a'coming like you were pulled to a lodestone.
I am sorry, by the way, for scarin' you,'' he said looking chagrined.
''For scaring me? Do you mean following me?
I mean, I guess if it was your job...'' She trailed off, shaking her head to clear it.
''Anyhow it's not your fault I fell, it was the bear that—'' She started.
Surely he would have noticed the bear if he'd followed her for any length.
Maybe he'd scared the bear which caused it to herd her like that.
She could have missed his scents and sounds and dismissed them as part of the bear's if they had both been tracking her, but they would have needed to be extremely close.
Or, she realized with a start, he could have been with the bear, making him feel responsible for her fall, after a fashion.
As she thought of it, she remembered she could scarcely make out the bear's scent here in the cabin, it was mingled with Berne's scent as she'd noticed in the cave.
''The bear! Were you with him? Do you have some sort of giant trained pet bear?6 Like for hunting? I kept smelling a bear nearby and I can sort of smell it here, too.''
He chuckled and rubbed his chin. ''I suppose I do at that.'' He shook his head as he laughed. ''Aye, a giant pet bear. If it turns out you're staying, I'll introduce you.''
Keeping a pet bear seemed extremely odd, but she wasn't familiar with his culture, perhaps it was entirely normal. Or, it could be part of his job. She could see how a bear companion or partner would be useful. Many contingents of guards kept dogs or horses, she supposed.
''He must be very well-trained. He didn't bother me at all,'' Sirin said, and for whatever reason, that made Berne burst out laughing. It was rich and sonorous, and it reminded her of roasted caramel. She loved the sound of his laugh, she decided.
''I wish he was well trained or even had manners, for that matter. No, he's just a gentleman to the ladies and a bit shy, you could say,'' Berne said.
Sirin giggled at the thought of a bear being a gentleman, remembering her doodle of him wearing a suit.