Chapter Fourteen
David removed his clothing and washed, using cold water from a pail he had brought from the well.
A tiny regret filled him, knowing that he had turned down the duke’s offer to stay indefinitely at Norwood, where servants would have seen to his every whim.
This indicated to him how unwise he had been in the bargain he had made with Lady Justina.
Yes, he had agreed with her wild proposal to teach her about the art of kissing and beyond, but he now realized it was foolish.
Already, his heart was invested. If she weren’t careful, hers would be, as well.
Better to end things between them now and suffer her wrath than both of them ending up nursing broken hearts.
But walking away from her would be the most difficult thing he had ever done.
He knew village assemblies were not fancy affairs, and thank goodness for that.
He had no evening wear. He was nothing but a shopkeeper, albeit a proud one, and he should limit his dreams to those involving his business, not ones with beautiful, titled—and entitled—ladies.
Lady Justina belonged to the nobility, whether she wanted to acknowledge that fact or not.
David may have had a noble birth, but he was now firmly settled in a far different class from her.
He decided tonight would be the night to tell her this.
Though he would have wished for one last kiss with her, it would be best to end things quickly.
Putting on a freshly laundered shirt, thanks to His Grace’s insistence that David pass along his laundry, he added trousers, waistcoat, cravat, and coat.
An immense sadness weighed upon him, thinking his life would be devoid of Justina in the future.
He had exceeded his grasp by wanting her, and now he would pay that price.
He doubted there could be any friendship between them and understood that would be best for them both. It would cause them to move on.
He heard the sound of the ducal carriage and left his cottage, climbing into the vehicle. Henry sat with Elinor, and David took the seat opposite them.
“Elinor can barely contain her excitement,” Henry said, grinning at his younger sister. “If she is this eager about a local assembly, I can only imagine what she will be like come the Season.”
“I cannot wait to go to town for my come-out,” she declared.
“Do you realize I have never been to town, David? Papa goes so rarely, only occasionally doing business there. I have told him he must come with me this year, though, since I have plans to find my husband. Naturally, I seek Papa’s approval of my choice. ”
“You will have no problem finding a husband, Elinor,” David assured her. “You are beautiful and kind, a rare combination within the ton. Men will flock to your side.”
“I only hope Lady Justina will decide to come with me,” she fretted. “It would be so much more enjoyable to go through this experience with a friend.”
The two men’s gazes met, and he said, “I would not count on that if I were you, Elinor. I understand that you enjoy being around your friend, but she does not seem interested in the trappings of Polite Society.”
“Oh, she has told me how she is dedicated to her painting, but it is simply brushstrokes on a piece of canvas. Painting is not a living, breathing thing. Her paintings cannot keep her company, much less give her children.”
“She does have a rather large extended family,” he reminded Elinor. “Lady Justina has told me that when she has gone to town during the Season, she sees them on a daily basis.”
“I wish we had a larger family,” Elinor said wistfully.
“Henry, you must also think of taking a bride this Season, since you will not be returning to the war. Between the two of us, we can have several children. That will enlarge our family considerably. We can see one another all the time, and our children can grow up being friends.”
“What if you accept an offer from a gentleman who lives near Canterbury, Elinor? Or one whose country estate is close to York or Bristol or Bath? You will reside with your husband there during a majority of the year. The only time we will see one another is at the Season.”
Elinor looked distressed. “I had not even thought of that, Henry.” Determination filled her face.
“Then I shall only consider eligible bachelors who reside in Cumberland.” She glanced to David.
“It is too bad that you do not seem interested in taking a wife. I could wed you, and we would be able to see Henry all the time.”
They all laughed good-naturedly, and David said, “I doubt you would take to living in a tiny cottage, Elinor. It has been hard enough for me to make the transition.”
“I still think your brother is incredibly unfair to you,” she said, pouting. “Henry told me about how awful Lord Sheridan was to you at White’s.”
Anger flashed through him. “You told Elinor of that incident? Without my permission?”
“I regret not asking you if I could do so,” Henry said quietly.
“I merely wished to explain to Elinor how there are men within Polite Society who call themselves gentlemen, and yet they behave in a most ungentlemanly fashion. My sister knows Lord Sheridan and his friends are to be avoided at all costs.”
Somewhat mollified by that explanation, he nodded. “Yes, I can see Claude being very charming, fooling a young lady into wedding him, only for her to realize that she had married a monster. I would not want you to suffer such a fate, Elinor.”
The carriage slowed, and Elinor said brightly, “We are here! I am so happy I was able to practice my dancing this afternoon, but you must bring me to the next few assemblies, Henry, before we leave for town and the Season.”
“I am more than willing to escort you,” her brother replied.
They entered Mr. Winkler’s establishment, and David saw all the furniture had been pushed as far from the center of the room as possible.
He glanced up to the private supper room on the upper floor.
Usually, the doors to it were closed, but now they had been flung open, and musicians sat there with their instruments.
Henry said, “Come, Elinor. Let us go about the room and introduce you to others.”
“I will stay here,” David said.
Several people approached him, eager to discuss the new lending library. He told each of them about how to sign up for membership and that a discussion would be held regarding the novel Sense and Sensibility.
Mrs. Johnson said, “You might wish to have a waiting list for a copy of the novel, Mr. Rochester. Hopefully by doing so, everyone who wishes to read it and participate in the discussion will have access to the book.”
“An excellent idea, Mrs. Johnson.”
He sensed the moment Justina entered the inn.
His eyes went to her, and she took his breath away.
She wore a gown of hunter green and was immediately surrounded by others.
Justina had a way about her which drew others to her side.
He swallowed painfully, knowing he must end the secret part of their relationship tonight.
“A word, Rochester?”
He looked up to see Lord Traywick had joined him. “Of course, my lord.”
David excused himself and followed the earl to a far corner of the room.
“What might you wish to discuss, Lord Traywick?”
“Tread carefully in regard to my sister,” the earl snapped.
Wariness filled him, and he wondered exactly what Justina had said to her brother to initiate this confrontation.
Carefully, he said, “If you feel our friendship inappropriate, my lord, I can end it this evening.”
Traywick studied him a moment. “I know my sister almost better than she knows herself. I can tell she has developed feelings for you. I believe that to be mutual. Simply sitting in the carriage with the two of you a few hours ago told me something is going on between the two of you.”
Dismay filled him. If Traywick had picked up on things, had Henry or the duke done the same? Or even others in Kidsgrove?
“I would never hurt—much less compromise—Lady Justina,” he said vehemently.
“She has been good to me, helping me get my bookshop ready to open. There is no reason for us to see one another further, my lord, unless we run across one another at Norwood. I hold your sister in great esteem, and I know I am not a worthy candidate for anything beyond friendship.”
“It is not that, Rochester,” the earl said, clearly frustrated.
“Bloody hell. I like you. Marbury, too. I had hoped we could continue the friendship we have begun. But even though you are a good man, an educated one, you could not provide for Justina in a suitable manner. I am my sister’s guardian now, and I must look out for her best interests. ”
“I realize that, my lord. I would never offer for her. I have told her as much.”
“Keep your contact with her to a minimum then, Rochester. Justina has a tender heart, and I will not see it broken by any man, even one whom I admire.”
“I understand. You may not believe this, but I had already decided tonight to tell her we must end our close association.”
Traywick placed a hand on David’s shoulder. “You are a good man. I wish the circumstances were different. My sister may never wed but if she does? It must be to someone who not only cares for her, but who can care for her.”
David nodded in agreement. “We both want the best for Lady Justina. Please look after her in the days to come, my lord. I fear she will not take our parting well.”
“I can do that,” the earl promised, his hand falling away. Their gazes met. “Just do not go about kissing her anymore. It will put foolish notions into her head.”
He felt his face flush with color. “Yes, my lord.”
So, Lord Traywick had learned of their kisses. That could only have come from Justina herself. Hopefully, she had not gone into any great detail about those kisses. The situation was already humiliating enough.
The earl strode away, and David vowed to speak to Justina as soon as possible and then leave this assembly. A night of dancing no longer held the slightest appeal to him.
Mr. Winkler announced the dancing was about to commence, and people quickly began finding partners.
David saw that Traywick stood with Elinor and that Henry now paired off with Justina.
A hard lump formed in his throat. Though people at these village assemblies often danced with others not of their rank and class, it was only natural that these four had gravitated toward one another.
The musicians began to play, and he watched Justina for the first few measures before turning away.
He could not let anyone here guess at his feelings toward the blond beauty, and so he quickly went to Miss Peachley, who had come into his shop a few days ago, and asked her to dance.
She readily agreed to do so, and they joined the line which had formed.
David danced several times and then made his way toward Justina. She was sipping on a cup of punch, and her face lit up when she caught sight of him coming toward her.
“It is about time you asked me to dance, David,” she teased.
“Mr. Rochester,” he prompted. “We are in public, my lady.”
She nodded in understanding. “Are you going to ask me to dance next?”
He wanted to, but thought that would be unwise.
“I would like to speak with you.”
Her brow furrowed. “Has Tray approached you this evening?”
Lord Traywick must have confronted her about his suspicions regarding their budding relationship. Not wanting to cause trouble between the siblings, David said, “Why would you ask that? Has he spoken to you about us?”
She bit her lip, and that was answer enough for him.
The musicians struck up a lively tune, and he asked, “Would you come outside with me for a moment?”
“I could use some fresh air,” she said, accompanying him through the front door.
A few others were also outside the inn, and he was glad they would not be alone.
“You have something to say to me, don’t you?” she asked, worry tinging her tone.
Gazing steadily at her, he said, “I do. I will forever cherish what has passed between us, Justina, but it must come to an end. It is apparent your brother has spoken to you about me.”
“I told him nothing,” she protested. “I said we were friends.” Then she swallowed, looking guilty. “I did admit to him that we had shared a kiss.”
“We should not have done so. I do not regret our kisses, but I have taught you all you need to know. The next kisses you share should be with a man who cares deeply for you. One who is worthy of you.”
“You care for me, David. I know you do,” she insisted.
“I do,” he admitted. “That is why I need to break off all contact with you.”
Tears swam in her eyes, making them an even brighter blue. “I refuse to let you do so,” she said stubbornly.
Sadly, he shook his head. “You have no say in this, Justina. We are living far too different lives. You have your painting, and I have my shop. I must dedicate my time to it, just as you need to dedicate yourself to your art.”
“Will I ever see you again?” she asked, her voice shaking.
“I will also be happy to see you as a customer when you walk through the doors of my shop. I still hope you might be willing to lead the discussion of Sense and Sensibility, but as far as socializing with you, that has come to an end.”
He took her hand, happy it was ungloved, and brought it to his lips for a tender kiss. He could feel the tremors running through her as he released it.
“Thank you for all that we shared together, my lady. I will always carry those memories in my heart. Now, go inside. Enjoy yourself.”
Turning, David walked away from Justina, each step pushing them further and further apart. He knew not to look back.
Because if he did, he would shatter into a thousand pieces.