13. Chapter 13 - Liam
Madison’s response to Diego leaving tonight was expected. Seeing her pout over him was like a swift kick to the nuts. She never said she wasn’t comfortable with sleeping at my house tonight…so perhaps we’ll get a chance to talk again.
Lainey has all the finger foods being sent around. She’s moved on to work on the dessert display. Naturally, I want to be by her side. Yet, my eyes refuse to stray from Madison. The purple-haired goddess is in the dining room with everyone. Those enchanting curls drape around her face as she leans down to help Kian paint a giraffe.
He’s one, so not much real painting is getting done, but he’s enjoying himself. Giggles and babbles fill the room as he smiles, revealing two little front teeth. Maddy holds his tiny hand in hers, guiding the yellow tipped brush along the ceramic giraffe. Killian and Selena are chatting with Diego—whose eyes keep darting over to Mad. A smile tugs at the corner of his lips watching her engage with the little lad.
Grief hits me like a punch to the gut.
I wanted a family with Madison.
We could have had that by now if everything didn’t happen the way it did. Madison must feel me watching her. Sad eyes connect with mine. Moisture pools in her lower lids as Kian open mouth kisses her cheek and pulls her into a hug. Her arms come up to wrap around him, gently cradling his head. Her gaze finds mine again, this time filled with uncertainty. She wipes the tears from her eyes and smiles wistfully.
What if that pregnancy test had been positive? We could have had our own little one running around right now. Diego would have never been given a chance for Maddy to fall for him —because she never would have even made it to Greece.
Why does life have to fucking suck so bad? Madison wants to be a mom more than anything. And yet, she struggles with infertility. I want Madison and a family with her, but it’s looking like she wants Diego.
I mean, shit . What am I doing here?
Do I even stand a chance?
Deciding no one needs to witness my spiraling pity party, I go off to have a smoke. I pass by Lainey who is adding animal face cupcakes to the top tier of the dessert display. Her hand reaches out to cup my elbow.
“You okay? What’s wrong? You seem upset.” The nurturing concern in her voice eases the tension building in my chest.
“I just got emotional seeing little Kian, that’s all.” I smile down at her. No need to burden her with my shit.
“Madison has you all messed up. Doesn’t she?” she pushes.
“No. It’s not her. It’s me. I’m working through a lot of emotions right now, Lain. You look beautiful by the way. The food was awesome.” A frown forms on her face as she realizes that’s all the interaction she’ll get from me.
Placing a brief kiss to her temple, I step away, needing that cigarette now more than ever. My mum would be so ashamed of me for selfishly holding the hearts of two amazing women.
After taking the elevator, I find my way out to the top deck. Steam swirls in ribbons around the pool which is gradually changing colors. I focus on it, slowing my heart rate down and breathing in and out through my nose. Ahh . I feel like I can breathe again. Why not light up that cigarette?
Reaching into my jeans pocket, I retrieve my lighter and pack of menthols. The flame of my Zippo ignites as I light the end of my cigarette and pull the nicotine deep into my lungs. I lean over the balcony railing, watching the busy New York City streets. It serves as a great distraction from my racing thoughts.
The grating sound of the sliding door has me turning back around. Madison wraps her sweater tighter around her as she slides the door shut.
I reach into my pack and pull out another cigarette, holding it out between my thumb and middle finger. “Still smoking, lass?”
That familiar statement has her smiling through her own tears as she saunters my way.
“I could use one. I haven’t had any in a while,” she sniffles, wiping under her eyes with her sleeve.
Handing her the cigarette, I hold out my lighter as she leans in to light it. She inhales briefly before blowing her smoke to the sky. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, love,” I sigh, placing the lighter back in my pocket before pulling her into me. “That could have been us.”
She nods, taking another drag. Circling her back with my free hand, I take a drag of my own. We stand there for a while not saying a word, just comforting one another.
This feels different.
It’s sadness over what we may never have together.
Acceptance in a way.
I snub my cigarette out in the ashtray on the cocktail table and she does the same.
“You’ll have that family, baby. Even if it’s not with me.”
“Yeah, maybe one day,” she agrees morosely. “What time did you want to head to Connecticut?”
“Can you be ready in an hour? ”
“Yes. I’m pretty much ready, I just need to freshen up and change.”
An hour later, I’m knocking on Diego’s door. Madison swings it open a few seconds later, looking incredible. Straight white teeth form a smile under her dark purple lipstick. Her hair is in waves around her shoulders and dark smokey makeup enhances her gorgeous eyes. Madison laughs in reaction to my staring—she’s absolutely radiant.
Definitely in a far better mood than earlier.
An overnight bag sits at the entrance of the door, sparking hope in my chest.
Guess we are staying.
Perfect .
She does a little twirl in her form fitting black dress. Leather pointed pumps wrap around her feet. They are sexy as fuck. My eyes trace up her muscular calves, then thighs, all the way up to her round arse. It takes me back to the night we went to The Triskelion for her surprise party. I had to shove my fists into the pockets of my slacks to prevent myself from reaching out for her. She wasn’t mine. She was Killian’s. What a turn of events that night ended up being.
Madison is the only woman I have ever taken back to my house in Connecticut.
A small leather wristlet hangs off her wrist as she opens her arm to scan her body up and down. “You like? Selena lent me one of hers. It’s a little snug, but it works.”
“You look incredible, Madison.” I grasp a strand of her hair between my fingers. “I love this color on you.”
“Thank you. I was actually considering dying it back to black soon. Believe it or not, the purple is hard to maintain. Plus—it was sort of a phase. I tend to change my hair color during major changes in my life.”
I grab her overnight bag and sling it over my shoulder. Fidgeting with the strap, I try to distract myself before I do something crazy, like pull her face to mine and kiss the hell out of her. I don’t think she’s ready for that.
“I see, so that’s why you went red when I first saw you at the gala?”
She suppresses a laugh as I guide her to the elevator. “That was all the stylist. But I did give her free range. I needed a change. Plus, I was really conflicted on my feelings at the time—similar to how I feel now.”
“And when you dyed it back to black before we went to The Triskelion for your surprise party?”
“I knew then I wanted to go back to my roots. I wasn’t that girl. The one in the lavish gowns and jewels. I wanted to be the Madison you met at the college bar.” My heart soars knowing the truth. She dyed it back for her and for me. I knew it.
“Shit, do you need a jacket?”
“I’ll be fine. The car is heated and we’ll be going right into the club.”
“Take this,” I shrug out of my sports jacket and place it over her shoulders. “I don’t need you catching a cold. You need to be able to see your father in a few days.”
Madison smiles up at me as her hands close the jacket around her exposed chest. That’s when I spot my necklace. How I hadn’t noticed it until now is beyond me. Oh right, I was admiring the body I’ve kissed every inch of.
Black diamonds of the raven sparkle between her clasped hands. The pendant, proudly perched between her collarbones.
“Nice necklace,” I smirk.
“I was feeling nostalgic.”
“I see that,” I shoot her a dazzling smile, my mood significantly changing for the better .
The elevator takes us to the lobby where my Audi R8 Spyder is waiting out front. There is not even a chance of snow in the forecast and we haven’t had any precipitation the last few days. Tonight is the perfect night for a ride in my new toy.
I take her hand and open the doors to the building, revealing the shiny chrome car idling at the curb. Kieran is there watching it for me. And probably jerking off to it. He was more than willing to pull it around for me.
“Have a safe trip.” He pats my back and takes a step back.
Pulling the handle, I hold open the door and help Madison in before shutting it. I toss her overnight bag in the trunk and eagerly slip into the driver seat. Madison notices my excitement as we buckle in.
“New car?” she guesses with a shy smile.
“Yes.” I rev the engine for emphasis. Maddy’s smile widens as she waves to Kieran and we enter into traffic.
An hour and a half later we are pulling up to the back door of the club. Madison and I talked the entire ride about her time in Arizona. I learned how much she enjoys working at the coffee shop and her dreams of owning her own. It’s pretty fucking cool that she took some classes on how to bake pastries. If it wasn’t going to be weird as hell, I would ask Lainey to teach her a thing or two. Lainey’s pastries and baked goods are fucking amazing.
I step out of the car and Madison does the same, not waiting for me to open her door. Stubborn woman . I’m trying my best to impress her tonight. I’d like to be the perfect gentleman she always said I was. The one that perhaps I lost sight of after losing her.
“Here.” Her hand glides across mine as she hands me back the jacket .
The static between us is like a live wire. Where earlier I thought the breaker was completely shut off…
Now, I’m not so sure.
“We can’t have the leader of the Tri-State Syndicate looking like a slob,” she teases.
“Oh, sweetheart…I was this close,” I hold out my fingers in reference, “To wearing my jeans and leather jacket. I fucking miss working the college bar. You know how much I hate wearing this damn fancy shit.”
“I like you rugged. But…I’ll admit, I do enjoy seeing you dressed up.” A blush spreads across her face as she walks to the entrance. Ryan opens the door for us and his eyes widen as he notices Madison. “Hey, Ry. Good to see you again.”
“The same to you, Madison. Welcome back, he says astonishingly. He turns his attention to greet me. “Sir, Conor is here and waiting for you in the VIP lounge.”
“Thanks, Ryan,” I respond, gripping his shoulder.
The metal door clicks closed behind us as we enter the elevator. Madison is fidgeting with her wristlet and struggling to get her lip gloss out. When she finally manages, she coats her lips with a shiny gloss, adding a shimmer to her already darkened lips. Pressing them together with a pop , she places the tube back into her wristlet and leans against the back of the elevator.
I can’t tell if she’s toying with me. The sexual chemistry in this elevator is sizzling. So, I settle on testing the waters. Claiming her hand in mine, I lead us out of the elevator and down the hallway to my office. Her brow raises in question.
“I forgot something.” I didn’t . But perhaps the memory of me finger fucking her on this desk will decide how our night is going to go.
Eyes like melted chocolate widen as I close the door behind us. The black of her pupils expands as she takes in my oak desk.