20. Chapter 20 - Liam
I step out of the shower back at the penthouse. Lainey was out of the house when I got back. Her project of the day was to shop with Selena for ingredients to make some organic teething biscuits for Kian.
Towel drying my hair, I take a seat at the edge of the bed and unplug my phone from the charger.
Ryan
Cleaners and landscapers have thoroughly taken care of the property. It’s all set for your next arrival, boss.
I send out a quick reply of thanks, knowing not a trace of what went down will be found. My thumb scrolls the screen as I check out more of my messages.
Conor
Hope you’re holding up okay, brother. Lex told me that you and Madison had a heart to heart last night. She isn’t coming back to AZ. We are packing up her stuff to be sent home. Just thought you’d like to know.
Liam
We did. It’s how it should be. I was foolish to think we stood a chance with Diego still in the picture. And putting my immediate jealousy aside, he’s the better choice for her. I can’t give Madison what Diego can. I’m too much of a protective prick. I can’t help it—especially around her.
Conor
And what of Lainey?
Liam
She and I need to talk. I want to take this slow. At our own pace. Maybe give the relationship more time to grow. But I promised Madison I would give it my all. So, I am going to try. Lainey has been extremely patient with me already. I just hope she’s willing to continue.
Conor
I’m sure she will. The lass has been head over heels for you since we were kids. Also, heads up, Lex and I agreed to do the Jack and Jill in Miami.
Liam
Lovely. It’s honestly a beautiful island. Spending time there last year was peaceful. You know Maddy and I will make sure it’s a great week for everyone.
Conor
Looking forward to it. I’ll see you in a few weeks when I get back. Gonna try to spend some quality time with my woman
I scrub my palms down my face. I need a fucking cigarette. I’m tempted to grab my pack and head out to the upper deck. Lainey’s beautiful face comes to mind, reminding me I was making healthier choices around her. She hates the smell of it, always reminding me. Which made cutting back a hell of a lot easier.
My thumb hovers over her contact in my favorites list. I select it, sliding the phone to my ear.
“Liam?” Her tentative voice fills the line.
“Hey, Lain. Are you gonna be home later?”
“Yeah, why? What’s up? Are you back already?” The excitement in her voice summons a smile to my lips.
“Yes. Just got back a little while ago. Would you be interested in a dine-in movie night with me? I’m fucking exhausted, but I miss you. I’d like to talk as well. I have a lot to get off my chest and you deserve to hear it.”
“Sure. I just have to bake some teething biscuits for Kian and then prep dinner. I’ll have Sarah finish up the rest for me. Did you want me to grab something sweet for later? I’m at the supermarket now.”
“You mean two pints of Ben and Jerry’s?”
“Mhm.” I can almost see her biting her lower lip.
“Hell yes. I’ll order us food from that little Italian restaurant we love with the sourdough bread. And I’ll make sure to get your favorite handmade gnocchi truffle alfredo.”
“Mmm… yes! That is my all time favorite. It’s a date… well if that’s what you want.” The uncertainty in her voice guts me.
“It’s an absolute date, Lain. Madison and I chose to go our separate ways, we just weren't fitting anymore.”
“Really?” Her voice raises an octave with hesitant excitement.
“Really,” I confirm.
“Wow. Okay, well I’ve got to run, I should be home soon. We can talk more tonight. I’m sorry it didn’t work out between you two, Liam. On the other hand, I’m also secretly thrilled. That’s awful, I know, but I was hoping we could get a real chance.”
“I know, lovely. I didn’t give us the proper chance to get off the ground. It was my fault. I’ve been the one keeping us here. I’m not holding back anymore, Lain. All I ask is for some patience. We go at a pace that feels comfortable.”
“I agree. See you in a bit.”
I end the call, placing my phone on my chest while resting my head on the pillow. There is this calming sense of peace surrounding me. A few days ago there was uneasiness and even downright dread for having to conceal my feelings and emotions involving Madison. Today, there is clarity. Excitement for what's to come rolls off my shoulders. We can get through it together.
I just need to open up.
The Zippo sparks, lighting the final candle placed around my bedroom. It’s a fucking fire hazard with the amount of candles I have lit. The ambiance is set, my mood is brighter than it has been in days, and my appetite is voracious.
The smell of the Italian food wafts through the air as I begin taking the containers out of the paper bags. I set up two bed tray tables with plates and cutlery. A bucket of champagne is on ice between us. The television is already set to our favorite show. All I need to do is press play.
“Liam, this is beautiful.” Lainey looks around, admiring my attempt at a romantic date night.
“I tried,” I shrug, a bashful smirk tugging at the corner of my mouth.
“It’s perfect,” she sighs her contentment as her hand lands on my thigh.
We have our backs against the pillows propped up on the headboard. I press play and the theme song of Sons of Anarchy fills the flickering space. Lainey dives into her food, moaning her contentment. This is her favorite dish—which I had discovered the night after our first hookup.
She had come to my room for another quick round. Four orgasms later…and it was safe to say we were starved. I placed the order after she ranted and raved about how amazing the gnocchi was. And I have to agree. It has easily become one of my top five favorite pasta dishes.
Every Thursday after, it turned into a routine thing we did together. That was our Friday, considering I typically was called to spend the weekends in Connecticut. Lain and I would watch Sons and enjoy our sourdough bread and pasta dishes. Always finishing off with dessert and a few orgasms. The nights we worked late she would slip into my room, cuddling up for one episode before we passed out from exhaustion.
It meant more to me than I gave it credit for at the time. We fell into a beautiful routine that ended abruptly because I needed to explore my feelings for Madison.
“Lain.” I press pause on the show, swiping a napkin over my lips. I angle my body towards her.
“I’m sorry for putting you through all this. I never meant to make this feel like a trial run or that you were being pushed to the back burner… but it seems like it came across that way. Madison and I deciding not to try again definitely gave me the clarity I needed to see just how special this is between us. I may not have given our connection the proper credit it deserved a few weeks ago.”
Tears pool in her lower lids. “Liam, it’s okay. Really. I told you to do this. To truly figure out your feelings. Can I ask what made you realize the two of you weren’t going to work out?”
I release a heavy sigh, fearful of her reaction. Her sage-green eyes greet mine with gentle concern. “We had a few moments where things got a little sexually charged. We never actually crossed that line, but we came close a few times. Each time we would, it was like this invisible barrier was forcing us apart. Maddy and I both felt that way, which led us to a collective conclusion that it was because of our other connections. I couldn’t get beyond it, always thinking of you and how it would hurt you—and how I didn’t want to fucking hurt you. Madison, she realized that what was stopping her was Diego, her feelings for him overpowering any chance of us rekindling our flame.”
Her dainty hand grips my bicep, giving it a sympathetic squeeze. “I’m so sorry, Liam. I’m sure it wasn’t easy accepting that.”
I bow my head, too much of a coward to look her in the eyes, knowing the raw pain of that truth would be seen reflecting back at me.
No. Madison said to let down my walls. I promised her. Godfuckingdammit .
My head snaps up, eyes peering into Lainey’s teary ones. When she notices my discomfort, she clasps my chin, letting her tears fall freely.
“Hey,” she soothes. “It’s okay. That’s life, Liam. It’s messy and complicated, but it’s beautiful all the same. You loved Madison. There is history between you two that no one can ever deny or replace. It is a deep wound that will heal over time. Look at Killian and Maddy now. They’ve moved past it over the years. You will find your way, at your own pace. All I can ask for is that you do what you just did there.” She gestures between us with her index finger before pressing it to my chest. “You give me you . Even your vulnerable side. The one you have a hard time showing me. I’m here. Right here. And I’m not going anywhere.”
I lower our trays to the floor beside my side of the bed before pulling her to me. She snuggles in close, placing her hand on my chest before raising her chin to search my eyes. Lowering mine, I brush my lips against hers, softly claiming them. It’s a voiceless promise that I’m not going anywhere either.
I want to be here.
Right here where the world seems to slow, even for just a little while.
Rubbing her warm tears away with my thumb, I tuck her against my chest and press play.