Chapter 21 #2
Someone else appeared at my side, close by. A voice I recognized said, near my ear, “May I have this dance?”
Warmth bloomed in my chest—the first comfort I’d felt all night.
He’ll ask you to dance, Liora had said in that courtyard, after we sat down on the bench.
And you’ll accept. When I’d asked her why, she’d said, Because you will be irresistible, and he’s your blade.
A facet of your power. Why would you not brandish your blade before the other queens when you have the chance?
I turned my face, lifted my eyes. Onyx velvet, a mask with a scar over the jaw and most of his face obscured. And yet I recognized the other half of those lips. I would know that voice anywhere. His scent was already in my nose, woodsmoke and earthiness and him.
Dorian. His hand extended to me, palm up.
After a pause, I took it.
A slow dance had begun. A close one, meant for touching bodies and romance.
Dorian’s hand closed around mine through his glove—firm, unhesitant, like he’d decided where we were going and my agreement was incidental. He led me onto the floor.
When he turned toward me, I lifted my eyes to meet his. “I can’t dance,” I whispered.
“That’s because you had Mirek for a partner.” He stepped forward. “May I?”
He was asking if he could put his hand at my waist. Mirek had never asked. I nodded once, and his hand settled against the curve just above my hip.
We had never stood like this: chest to chest, his hand on my back, gazes locked. If I focused just on his eyes, on his pulled-back hair, we could almost be back at Virellan Falls. When longing hadn’t just been the spiritstag’s magic, when his lips on mine had felt like the truest thing in my life.
Don’t trust him, Eury.
I’d accepted this dance to show off my blade. I hoped all three fucking queens were watching.
The violins played slow and soft, and Dorian said, “I’ll lead. Just relax and follow.”
He stepped forward, and I stepped back. And where I’d expected Mirek’s harsh suddenness, Dorian was smooth.
He guided me backward almost before I had the instinct to follow his step, his fingers pressing lightly into my back, and soon we were moving around the room with the other couples and I wasn’t even stepping on his toes.
We danced for some time without speaking, and I found it easy. The music flowed, our feet moved in rhythm, the world became a blur and he stayed my only constant. His hand on mine, fingertips touching my spine, my chest brushing his.
Of course it would be this way. Of course.
This was what I had feared, had avoided with almost ferocious care. That while my mind told me I shouldn’t and couldn’t trust, my body would feel that rightness. And what the hell was I supposed to do with that?
“Eury,” he said as we passed around the room, “there’s something I need to tell you.”
Despite the past few minutes, my heart was still tight and hard as a nut. “As Dorian, or as my veyre?”
“As Dorian.”
“Then I’m not interested.”
“Give me one minute.”
“No.”
He didn’t break step; his fingers and movements were as light, as elegant as before. “Thirty seconds.”
“Ten.”
"Fine." His eyes were fixed on me through the mask, dark and unguarded in a way I’d never seen. "I should have told you what I was before I ever touched you."
Yes, you bastard, you should have. “What’s done is done.”
“I tried.” His hand tightened against my back, then released. “Every time I opened my mouth to tell you, the words died in my throat.”
So you were a coward. “You have five seconds left.”
His jaw ticked. "The night I brought you to court, Rhiannon pulled me aside. She wanted to keep the truth of my past for later." His voice dropped. "A knife to use if she ever needed it."
I’d known she had controlled him, but not how. I kept my eyes on his. "How did she do it?”
“Her magic. Air.” He swallowed, as though reliving the sensation. “She bound my breath. Any time I tried to speak the truth of my past—to anyone—my lungs refused. The words wouldn’t come. They couldn’t come.”
All those silences. The way he’d start to say something and stop. The way he’d look at me like he was suffocating. He had been… on her magic.
“That night,” I said quietly. “Before we—”
“I tried, Eury.” His voice was rough, barely above a whisper. “I swear to you. I tried.”
“Excuse me,” a voice said from beside us. The slender man who’d approached the queens’ table just before Dorian had stolen me away. Kane, Iseris had called him. “May I cut in?”
“No,” Dorian growled.
Kane’s blond head tilted, and a smile appeared beneath his hawk-nosed mask. “I’m afraid I have to insist. You’ve already had one dance with the autumn queen.”
“This one’s only just started,” Dorian said—but even as the words left him, the music shifted. A new melody. A new dance.
We’d been so lost in each other, we hadn’t noticed the first one end.
Neither of us moved. His hand still pressed against my back. Mine still rested in his. The heat of him, the steadiness—I hadn’t felt that in weeks. I wanted to stay here. I wanted to know the rest.
But I could feel eyes on us. The whole room, watching. Waiting to see what the Sylvanwild queen would do.
In the courtyard with Liora, she’d also told me I must accept dances with other men, as many as I had time for. A man who’s touched your hand, who’s touched your waist, my beautiful girl, is a man under you. Three minutes in exchange for power.
Three minutes.
I held Dorian’s gaze a moment longer. Then, slowly, I pulled my hand from his.
“Of course, ser.”
Dorian’s jaw went hard. He didn’t move, even as I stepped away and set my hand into Kane’s. Clammy fingers touched mine. I felt Dorian’s gaze on my back as Kane set his hand at my waist, and the two of us set off into a livelier dance.
Dorian dropped back into the crowd. But every time I turned he was there, his eyes on me like he would sear holes into the man dancing with me. The feeling was almost palpable; the more I tried to keep my attention off him, the more I seemed to find him in the crowd.
I couldn’t help feeling I’d betrayed him.
Kane smiled down at me. “You’re very good, Your Grace.”
The old me would have scoffed and made a joke. But tonight was delicate, crucial. I lifted my chin, lips curling. “You are very good, my lord.”
I might have set the moon, for how his eyes lit.
Liora was right. A man only needed to touch you for three minutes and you could step on him anywhere you liked.
When we came around the room again, I searched for Dorian, but he was gone from his spot. I turned my head, searched the crowd as we danced, but I couldn’t find him in it.
That was when I glimpsed Finch pressing his way through the throng toward a side door. The door was open, and Dorian’s onyx cloak disappeared through it before the boy pushed in after him.
Strange. Dorian hadn’t mentioned leaving, and Finch had looked in a hurry.
The song ended, and Kane released my hand with a bow. Before I could think further on it, someone stepped into my path.
A man—medium-height, black-haired and black-eyed behind a hawk’s mask. He wore a bright smile on his face and a deep scar along the left side of his jaw. Just like the one on Dorian’s mask.
“Queen Eurydice.” He dropped into a low bow. “I’ve been dying to make your acquaintance.”