Chapter 11
Jose
For three days, all I could think about was her, about how she was, how completely different and while I wanted to hate it, I couldn’t. She filled me in ways I hadn’t experienced before, and it scared the living shit out of me.
I wanted to say that I could live like how she did, to be so loving and inviting, but we all know that wasn’t me. And my temper was hanging on by threads at times.
Because it seems that over the last few days, everyone in town was calling out hellos to me, and stopping me to talk, and I just couldn’t handle it. My fuse was short and I knew that, yet people still wanted to keep pushing me.
I took my hat off, running my fingers through my hair as I all but ran out of the store. Everyone was trying to get my attention, trying to talk. All because they helped me one day and then because I was seeing Vicky.
And yeah, the town knew because I had taken her out a time or two and it sure had everyone talking about it.
Did I mention how much I hate town gossip? That it was another reason why I stuck to myself? Because everyone had an opinion of your life. What I seemed to hear the most was that I was too old and too much of a recluse for someone like that woman.
So, was I on edge?
Yeah, I guess you could say that.
I threw the bags in my cab and tore out of the parking lot, making my way back to my ranch, my goal to work on the fence before the next round of storms came in, which was supposed to be in three days. And I really didn’t want to call for help again. Or, well, having her call.
I grabbed my stuff once I parked and walked down the way to the fence, dropping the tools, almost jumping out of skin once she rode up along the other side, her horse panting.
“Do you want me to get you some extra hands?” she asked.
“No, thanks, Vicky. I can do this. You all helped me enough last time. I’m just making sure it holds through the storms that’s due to come in.”
“Makes sense.” She jumped off her horse, tying the leather to a fence post before walking over. “Do you want me to help you? I have nothing to do today.”
“No. I’ve been doing it on my own for years; I can handle a few posts myself.”
She frowned slightly as she watched me, but I didn’t care. I also knew that my tone was gruff, something she hadn’t heard recently.
“I see,” she said, resting against a tree, her eyes tracking my movements. “You okay, Jose?”
I threw my hammer down and turned to face her, running my hand through my hair again before slamming my hat back on.
“No, I’m actually not. What the hell do you want from me, Vicky?”
“Well, nothing right now. Just offering a hand.”
“That’s not what the hell I meant. What do you want from me? A boyfriend? A husband? What?”
“I didn’t know I needed a label, Jose. I don’t recall ever telling you that I did.”
“You can’t just want nothing.”
She pushed off the tree and walked over, stopping on the other side of the fence.
“Did I do something to you that I don’t know about that’s pissing you off this badly?”
“You. You just did you. You came into my life and turned it upside down and now everybody wants to bother me. Then everyone is telling me that you’re too good for me and I fucking know that. So, I’m trying to figure out why you’re here, talking to me.”
“Because I like you!”
“Well, fucking don’t! It’s a waste of time to like me!”
She stepped back as if I slapped her and maybe I verbally had. With a sigh, I ran a hand over my face before looking at her.
“I can’t do this, Vicky. I can’t be with you. You disrupted my life and I was happy the way it was before. We had fun, sure, but I can’t keep up with this. I can’t keep with you or the town gossip, or everyone having a say in my life all of a sudden.
“This, us, it isn’t working for me, and I think it’s best if we just call it what it was. A fling that came to an end.”
“A fling that came to an end,” she repeated, nodding once.
I watched her fight her pain and her tears, but she didn’t let either show, because she was back on her horse before I could say anything else.
“You are the biggest fool I know. For being older, you are not wiser. You wouldn’t know a good thing if it slapped you upside the face.
Not to mention how scared you are. Grow a fucking pair, then come find me. ”
I dropped my head as she tore off the down the path, knowing I had fucked that up. But it was the right thing to do. I couldn’t handle having her in my life. Soon enough, she’ll pick up on that as well and move on. And then I’ll be alone, just like how I wanted it to be.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” my father said, smacking my head three days later. I growled at him as he sat down, a brow raised.
“What do you want, old man?”
“I raised you better than that. What crawled up your ass and died? Why are you being such an asshole to everyone? You were doing better, you were smiling. Then the grouch came back. Why?”
“None of your business, Dad.”
“It is my business. You’re my son. I want you to be happy and this is not happiness. This is fucking living a sorrowful life and then dying.”
“Then let me die in peace,” I roared, standing up so quickly that my chair slammed back against the wall, making him raise a brow in question again.
“Ay, mijo, when are you going to learn?”
“Learn what, old man?”
“That being solo, being alone, isn’t the way life is meant to be lived.”
“Why the hell is everyone on my case about my love life? The town won’t shut up about it. Mom is gripping about me hurting someone, and now you, telling me I shouldn’t be alone. Why not let me worry about it, huh?”
I watched with weary eyes as my father stood. He was shorter than me, but he could still kick my ass, even if he had a harder time.
And even in my temper, I knew to respect who he was; my dad, who was worried about his only son being alone forever. I would be worried too if this was my son.
“You loved her.”
“No, that’s impossible.”
“No, mijo, it’s not. Everyone thinks we need years to fall in love, but we don’t.
We just need a moment. And that woman, she’s loved you for a long time.
Don’t be stupid, mijo. She’s the one person who made your life better.
She’s the one person who loved this land, this town, and these people as deeply as you do.
She’s the one person who will always be your other half, even if she’s younger.
“So, stop being stupid, mijo, and go after her. Go claim her. Let the promise hold true, especially with her talking to the group today about it.”