Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Christina went into her room without a fuss, but this was not the end of their night together. She rang for Winnie. Preparing for bed would be quicker with her help.
Dressed in a nightgown, her hair in a plait, she steeled her nerves. Without knocking, she opened the door to Giles’ bedroom and stepped inside, praying he wouldn’t send her away.
He sat on the side of his bed, dressed in his pajamas. “Christina? Is something the matter?”
“No.” She walked across to stand before him. Not knowing what to say, she pressed her lips against his instead. It was heaven. She hadn’t realized just how much she’d missed it. She traced the seam of his lips with her tongue, as she slipped the buttons of his pajama shirt open, one by one.
He groaned, but pulled back and took her hands in his. “Are you doing this out of some sense of obligation? There is none, Christina.”
“No, you fool. I’m doing this because I want you. Because I miss you.”
“You want me?” He shook his head. “How can you want me like this?” He pointed to his eyepatch.
Was it possible Brennan had been right? She folded her arms across her chest. “Have you been staying away because you thought I wouldn’t want you anymore?”
He nodded. “I’m not the man you married. I’m no longer whole.”
“Giles. You fool.” She blew out an exasperated breath.
“It wasn’t only your eyes that drew me to you.
They are beautiful, of course. But losing one of them, doesn’t make the remaining one any less so.
Even still, it wasn’t those that I fell in love with.
It was your heart, your kindness, your sense of humor, your protectiveness. ”
“Fell in love with?” He stared into her eyes. “Are you saying you love me?”
She cupped her hand around his cheek. “Of course I do. There was just never a good time to say it. I hope, one day, you’ll be able to love me again, too.”
“I’ve never stopped loving you, sweetheart.” He pulled her down to sit on his lap. “Nothing will ever change that.”
Tears pooled in her eyes. “Not even the things my father has done to you?”
“Nothing.”
A tear slipped down her cheek. She’d been a fool too.
He sighed, and she could see him withdrawing from her. “Are you really sure you want me, though? Would it be easier if I turned out the lights?”
“Need I remind you I’m not perfect either?” She stood and pulled her nightgown over her head. “Would it be easier for you with the lights out?”
He pulled her in, pressing open-mouthed kisses over every inch of her birthmark. He drew her nipple into his mouth, then looked back up at her. “You are perfect.”
She gripped her hands into his hair and kissed him. He groaned, and his hands slid from her waist around to grip her bottom. She plunged her tongue into his mouth, claiming her stake on him and on this. He still loved her, and nothing else mattered. She wanted him, here and now.
Wrenching her lips from his, they both gasped for breath. “Get your pajamas off. I want you, and I don’t want to wait.”
With a quick nod, he ripped the top open, and she laughed as he stood and pushed the bottoms to the floor. He claimed her mouth, once more, one hand cradling the back of her head, and the other her breast. His thumb brushed over her nipple, sending a flash of desire through her body.
He tried to turn them, but she shook her head. She pushed against his chest. “Lie down in the middle of the bed.”
A hungry smile grew on his lips and he followed her command. She climbed on after him and stood over the top of him, one foot on either side of his hips.
“I thought you were coming up here,” he said, slowly trailing his tongue over his top lip.
She shook her head. “Not tonight. I need to feel you inside my body. Will it work this way?”
“Absolutely.” He wrapped his hand around himself. “Just sit down slowly, and I’ll guide myself in.”
Her body stretched around him until he was fully inside her. They both groaned. “I’ve missed this so much.”
“Me too.” His smile grew as his gaze wandered over her body. “My God, you are so beautiful.” He reached up and brushed his fingertips over her nipple, the rush of desire making her hips rock.
“Put your hands here.” He patted his chest. “That’s it, now shift to your knees. It will make it easier for you to move.”
She smiled as she lifted herself. Pleasure forced his mouth open as she sank back down, and she reveled in being in control of it. This was so much better with the lights lit. “I like it this way.” Need grew deep within her as she rode him faster.
“You, my wonderful wife, are perfect in every way.” The words were broken up by his panting breath. He squeezed her nipples and pleasure streaked through her, coaxing her to move harder and faster, her body begging for release.
“Giles!” Her climax ripped through her with such force she lost all coordination. He gripped her hips and kept her moving until he shouted his own, pushing himself even deeper into her body.
He pulled her down onto his chest, not letting her slide off the side.
Hopefully she wasn’t crushing him. She had no strength to argue, and it was utterly perfect, anyway.
His arms wrapped around her, one hand against her back, and the other on her bottom.
For a long time, breathing was all either of them could manage.
As they calmed, his fingers rubbed slow circles over her back.
“As much as I’m enjoying this, do you mind if I move to the bed now?”
He lifted his arm and she laid on her side, facing him. “Turn this way. I want to see your face.”
He did as she asked, and for a moment, she just stared, taking in every detail. She traced her fingertip over his lips. “You’re beautiful. Do you know that?”
“Even still?”
“I’m more attracted to you than ever, Giles.”
His brow furrowed.
“Do you really not believe me after what I just did?”
“Mmmm. All I know for certain is that you are exquisite, and I will be forever grateful to whatever, or whoever, brought you into my life.” His gaze wandered down her body and he brushed his fingertip across her nipple.
“Don’t do that. You’ll make me want you again, and I’m too exhausted for another round.”
He chuckled and pressed a soft kiss against her lips. But when he put his head back down, he sighed. “Tomorrow is my appointment with the ocularist. Will you come with me?” He was obviously nervous, and she was honored that he’d asked her.
She cupped her hand around his cheek. “Of course I will.” She kissed his lips and his forehead. “Will you wear a blue suit for me? You are irresistible in blue.”
“I will wear whatever you wish. If I turn the lights out, will you sleep in my arms tonight?”
“I will gladly sleep in your arms, every night.”
“Giles Henderson to see Dr. Schwartz.” Apprehension had every muscle in his body pulled tight like a bowstring.
Christina held his hand all the way down the hall, and didn’t let go when they were seated in a room to wait for the doctor.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Henderson. Mrs. Henderson.” He shook both of their hands. “I’m Dr. Schwartz.” His German accent was obvious, but he wasn’t difficult to understand. “You were referred to me by Dr. Goodluck. Is that correct?”
"Yes,” Giles’ voice cracked on the word, so he cleared his throat and repeated it.
“Have a seat up here, so I can take a look.” He pointed to the examination table.
Giles swallowed nervously, and Christina gave his hand a squeeze before letting him go.
When the doctor reached for his patch, he panicked and looked back at her.
“I’ve already seen it, Giles.”
“You have?”
“While you were sedated. They tried to make me leave when the doctor changed your bandages, but I told Ash he’d have to carry me out.” She shrugged. “And he didn’t.” It shouldn’t surprise him.
After a moment, he gave a nod and the doctor removed the patch. It was awkward having someone stare so intently at something he knew to be grotesque. Although, presumably, Dr. Schwartz had seen similar things before.
“He did good work,” he said with a nod of approval.
“At least on the outside. The scars on your face will hardly be visible in a year or two. We won’t know how well he did on the inside until later.
But so far everything appears to be healing very well.
” He moved his gaze to the uninjured eye, and assessed it as well.
“I work with an exceptional artist. He’ll be able to match your eye perfectly. ”
“Will you tell me about the procedure, and how it all works?”
“In the operating theater, under sedation, I will—” He stopped and looked at Christina. “Are you sure you wouldn’t be more comfortable in the waiting area, Mrs. Henderson?”
She shook her head. “I want to be by his side.”
Giles was glad to see admiration on Dr. Schwartz’s face rather than disdain.
“Good. He’ll need you there.” He turned back to Giles and continued with his explanation.
“Under sedation, I will put an implant into the socket. A glass reform will be made to match your other eye. That piece will be removable. You’ll take it out when it needs to be cleaned, and it will be held in place by your eyelids. ”
“Are they uncomfortable?” Christina asked.
“There is an adjustment period, and they can sometimes cause discomfort, even after that. However, most people find that their confidence is much greater with the prosthesis, so are willing to tolerate it.”
She left her chair and came to stand beside him. “Other than cosmetic, does it serve a purpose?”
Dr. Schwartz smiled a bit and pushed his stool back to be better able to see them both at once.
“It can protect the eye socket, but not necessarily more than a sturdy, well-made patch. However, I hate to think of it as purely cosmetic. There are other things to consider. Having only one eye can have a detrimental effect on a person’s psychological health, that is very real. ”
“What other risks are there with the surgery?”
Giles was glad she’d come with him. He wouldn’t have known what to ask.
“With any procedure, there is always a risk of infection. And with the prosthetic eye, there is also increased risk of irritation which can lead to infection.”
“I don’t think you should do it, Giles.”
“Why don’t I leave the two of you alone for a few minutes to discuss it?”
When the doctor closed the door, Giles took Christina’s hand and pulled her in front of him. “Don’t you think it would be easier if I had two eyes?”
“Yes. But you don’t. And you still won’t with a piece of glass in there. That being said, if you think you’ll be happier that way, I will support your decision. But don’t do it because you think it will make me happier.”
He nodded. “I’m not sure I will be happier. I’ll always know it’s not my real eye. And so will you, I suppose.” He realized he hadn’t put his patch back on and reached for it, but she stilled his hands and shook her head.
“You don’t need to cover it for me, Giles.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “How are you so accepting of something so ugly?”
“It’s not ugly. It’s just part of who you are now.” She shrugged. “Perhaps it’s the same with my birthmark. Would you want me to remove it if I could?”
“No. You’re perfect just the way you are. In fact, I’m quite looking forward to seeing it again.” He tried to wink, and burst out laughing.
“What are you laughing at?”
“I just realized I won’t be able to wink when I tease you.”
She laughed with him and pressed her lips to his. “Just as long as you don’t stop teasing.”
He thought of all the people around him. None of them would treat him any differently with a prosthetic eye. Not even the patrons seemed to mind his patch. They’d all been respectful and none of them had recoiled at the sight. Perhaps he was lucky to have a life where it may not really matter.
“I think you’re right.” He stole another quick kiss while they were alone. “None of the people in my life, at least not the ones who matter, will give a fig one way or the other.”
Somehow, that decision made it easier for him to move forward. Easier to accept that this was who he was now. In that moment, it became a choice rather than a tragedy.
Over the following weeks, he shed his resentment, and happiness took its place.
Laughter came effortlessly with his partners and their patrons.
And with Christina. Each day she seemed to blossom a little more, trust him a little more.
And each night, when he returned from his club, she was waiting for him in his bed.
Sometimes they made love, and other times, they just cuddled, as they were now.
He cherished having her body against his, her head resting on his arm. Life had become easy with her.
“Ash wants to host a celebration of our marriage.”
“That seems a little silly after all this time, doesn’t it?”
“I don’t think so. We’ve overcome a lot, you and I.”
She turned over and kissed him sweetly. “We have, haven’t we?”
“It’s become a tradition to have some kind of festive gathering at The Raven’s Den when one of us gets married.”
“In the club?”
“Well, in the building, yes. But it will be converted for the event into something more like a casual ballroom.” Just as it had been on the night he’d first met her.
“Does that mean we’ll be able to dance?”
“If you’d like to.”
“I’d like to very much. I miss dancing. And I’ve never had the pleasure of dancing with you.”
“Why didn’t you say so? There are plenty of balls we can attend.”
“I didn’t think you’d want to…” She traced little circles on his chest with her finger. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to be seen with me in that part of society. I was on the front page of the scandal sheets, after all. Everyone assumes I must have seduced you into marriage.”
“And you think I’d be embarrassed of that, even if it were true?” He pushed himself over the top of her and claimed her lips. “I? An owner of a fairly notorious gaming hell, who now sports an eyepatch—which I’ve been told is quite rakish. I assure you, I am immune to scandal.”
She reached a hand down to squeeze his bottom. “And you do have the loveliest backside.”
“I’m not sure what that has to do with scandal or dancing.”
“Nothing. I am just very fond of it.”