Chapter 15 #2
No, too callous. Also, I have no clue if Andy even knew Lila was up here.
She could have gotten in the accident before she even made it.
I’ve got to keep it simple. Stick to the facts.
Jo needs to be brought in before we figure out what to do next.
I’ve driven to Jo’s so many times that my body is on autopilot.
I could take these turns blindfolded. Considering I still haven’t seen another car, it’s a surprise when a flash of headlights sears into my eyes from the rear view mirror.
Starbursts fill my eyes, and I blink quickly trying to clear them.
I press on the brakes so the asshole behind me flashing their brights can pass me.
But the driver doesn’t pass. Instead, they surge into the lane next to me and speed up until we’re in line with each other.
Ice cold fear fills my veins. My eyes are still filled with spots, and it’s all I can do to stay on the road.
The driver swerves at me from the other lane, and a scream rips out of me.
“What are you doing?” I yell, both hands gripping the wheel.
I try to get a glimpse of the other driver, but their windows are tinted black.
I tap my breaks again, but my foot sinks to the floor.
I’m unable to slow down. I’m going to fucking crash.
The driver swerves at me again, and sparks fly as their car rakes against the side of mine.
I can’t believe this is happening. The road bends up ahead, and it’s taking all my strength to hold the wheel against the onslaught.
I slam my foot again and again into the brakes, but nothing happens.
I don’t slow, I just speed straight ahead, unable to turn.
Up ahead, the guardrail looms, the road bending sharply to the left. Beyond it is nothing but air and my certain death.
“Please, please don’t let this happen.” I sob, trying one last time to turn the wheel, but the driver next to me is immovable, our cars locked in a deadly embrace. My eyes slam shut as my car rams into the guardrail at full speed in a shower of glass and tearing metal.
My eyes snap open, my body bathed in a cold sweat.
I’m not in my car, flying over a fucking ravine.
No, I’m in my bed. Alone and alive, although my heart is beating like I’ve run a marathon.
Gingerly, I rub my eyes and check the time—it’s 5:15.
There’s not a chance in hell I’ll be able to fall asleep again.
I’m still shaking with adrenaline as I stumble to the bathroom.
I splash water on my face and then lean over the sink, breathing deep in an attempt to calm my racing heart.
When I stand up again after a few moments, the woman who stares back at me from the mirror is a total stranger.
My eyes are sunken and the skin underneath looks bruised.
My skin in general is wan and pasty. I look awful.
I look like someone who hasn’t slept in days.
I look like someone who’s barely cheated death.
That awful nightmare. The faceless person who wanted me dead.
It’s obvious why my unconscious mind would torment me so.
I’ve spent so much time wrapped up in Lila’s story that I can’t turn it off.
Was that how she spent her last moments on this earth?
Trapped and petrified, unable to stop the inevitable crash?
Or was it really a turn taken too fast? Was she nervous about confronting Andy at home, his family in the background, that she was too wrapped up in her thoughts to realize she’d made a disastrous mistake?
It’s eating at me, this not knowing. I don’t know how Shayne has managed to live with the uncertainty of it all hanging over him for six years.
I decide to take a shower and go in to the store early.
I’m not supposed to open until ten today, but I can’t sit here with just my thoughts on an endless loop of ‘what if’s.
After I’ve showered, I choose a cream cable-knit sweater and a long rust-colored skirt.
My brown lace-up boots and some gold dangly earrings Jo gave me for my birthday last year complete the look.
I give myself a once over before heading out the door, and while it’s definitely an improvement from the haunted woman I woke up to, there’s no hiding her influence.
My pulse quickens slightly when I pull on to the main road.
It’s hard to ignore the similarities from my dream.
The sky is still dark at this early hour with just the horizon beginning to lighten.
I pass a couple of truckers, but otherwise the road into town is deserted.
My body stays tight as a wire until I make the final turn into town.
I pull into the alley behind Pages and park, feeling the tension slowly start to ease from my shoulders.
Inside, I busy myself for an hour catching up on invoices and online orders until I know Cheri’s will be open. Just as I’m locking the store behind me, my phone rings, and my mom’s photo pops up on my screen.
“Hey Mom,” I answer.
“Hi bunny. I’m not calling too early am I?” It’s a wonder she’s up already. Nola typically keeps vampiric hours. She swears that the moonlight awakens her artistic sensibility.
“No, I’m actually walking to Cheri’s, so perfect timing. What are you doing up so early?”
“I haven’t gone to bed yet. Thought I’d catch you before I sleep. Why are you at the store so early? Isn’t it Saturday? You should still be home in bed.”
“I had a nightmare and needed a change of scenery.”
“Oh Paige, my baby, I’m sorry. Is anything bothering you?” Just being asked if something is bothering me makes my throat tighten, and I feel a sharp prickle behind my eyes.
“Mom, everything is such a mess,” I say, my voice cracking.
“Tell me,” she insists.
In seconds, my resolve crumbles. I sit on the bench right outside of Pages, and I tell her everything.
I tell her about Shayne. I tell her about Andy’s accident and the notes.
I tell her about Lila. I tell her that I’m petrified that I’ve put my heart at risk with another man who will only break it.
I tell her each and every secret I’ve been too scared to give voice to.
She doesn’t say anything, she just listens and lets me spill out all my thoughts and fears in a jumbled heap.
When I’m finally through I hear her take a long slow breath in. “Paige, I’m coming.”
“What? No, mom. Aren’t you working on a mural commission? You can’t come.”
“Give me two days. I’ll be there. There’s no way I’m letting you go through all this by yourself.” Nola hasn’t visited in over a year. The thought of adding her to the other chaos that’s swirling around me isn’t the most comforting thought.
However, there is a decent-sized chunk of me that just wants my mom to come and make everything alright again. Or at least make it a Nola mess instead. Those are usually more palatable than the messes I make for myself.
“Mom, you really don’t have to—”
“Yes, I do,” she interrupts, and her tone tells me there’s no arguing with her now. When Nola gets an idea stuck in her head, even the earth bends to her will. “Even if I’m just there to work at the store so you can have a few days off. You sound wrecked, my love. Let me help you.”
“Okay,” I choke out. I didn’t realize how much I needed her to say that.
“In the meantime, talk to Jo. You won’t feel right until you tell her the truth.”
“I know. I will.” My phone dings in my ear, so I check it and see that Jo is calling. “Speak of the devil. Jo’s calling. Mom, I gotta go. Please don’t come if it’s going to complicate things for you.”
“You’re more important to me than anything. I’ll be there.” I tap over to Jo’s call.
“Hey Jo, everyone’s up early today.”
“Paige,” Jo’s voice cracks, and I can hear the tears in her voice and my pulse jumps immediately.
“What’s wrong?”
“I got another note. This one was addressed to me. I found it on the porch this morning. The porch, Paige! Someone must have been here last night.”
Dread fills me. It’s one thing to get a note in the mail, but having it dropped off on your porch? That feels beyond ominous. “Fuck, that is frightening. What did it say?”
“He’s a lying, cheating, snake. Leave him before it’s too late.
’ God, who is doing this to us? Why is this happening?
What the fuck does ‘too late’ even mean?
” she sobs into the phone. I scramble, trying to find the right words that might help, but all that I can think of saying will only make it worse. He is a liar and a cheat.
“Jo, I’m so sorry. Have you talked to Andy about it?”
“No. His parents are with him at the hospital. Imagine that conversation,” she says, her voice thick with sarcasm. Jo’s relationship with her in-laws has never been warm and fuzzy. “They’d probably accuse me of sending the note to myself.”
There’s no way around it now. I have to tell Jo about Lila, the ring—all of it—tonight.
“Do you think you can get a sitter tonight?” I ask.
“Um, I should be able to. Why? What are you thinking?”
“Whine n wine at my place. We have a lot to talk about. Don’t worry, Jo.
We can figure this out,” I say, trying to convince myself just as much as I am her.
We agree to meet at my house after I get off work and hang up.
I check the time. It’s only 7:30am. My limbs are already tingling with anxiety. Today is going to be a long one.
Jo getting another letter has thrown me.
Hard. Can I really trust that Shayne isn’t sending them?
He has more than enough reasons to want to ruin Andy, and he has access to the property.
Finding out about the ring last night might have made him want to lash out.
Because if it isn’t Shayne, then who the hell is it?