Chapter 3 #2
She could never describe how walking the path lined with elms and dandelions cast the worries from her head. The dirt of the path kicked up around her and continued to coat her already worn sneakers in another layer of dust. She didn’t mind it, though. It brought a small smile to her face.
The mundane path of towering trees flowed and bent until it came to a fork, and what lay between the differing paths was the large and beautiful willow tree.
Its branches cast themselves in a canopy over the grass beneath and the trail beyond.
It was a warm hug to be taken in by the arms of the weeping willow and swaddled in its cocoon.
Amaris gripped the lowest branch, hoisting her feet to wrap around it to hang and take in her upside-down surroundings.
A squirrel skittered across the path and zoomed up a tree in the distance.
She squeezed her thighs around the branch, closing her eyes as she released her arms to be free to flow through the air.
It was a thrilling sensation of soaring with the security of her tree holding her tight.
Her arms dangled, skimming the grass beneath her as she let out a frustrated shout.
For two years, she’d been trying to marry the man she loved, but something always got in the way.
She curled herself up and scaled the rest of the way to the heart of the trunk, where she used a small indentation to nestle in and hide.
She leaned into it and plopped one foot over the other, folding her hands behind her head and inhaling the drooping leaves dangling above her nose.
“I had my first fire as a lieutenant yesterday.” She sighed, her words hovering in the branches around her, safe from the world.
Her eyes burned as tears misted around the edges.
“It was terrible. I almost got myself and Charlie killed.” The image of Grandad jumping onto the fire engine popped into her head.
When she’d been younger and a call had come in, Grandad had taken her to the station with him, and he’d even let her sit in the seat beside him sometimes.
Amaris dragged her hands over her eyes. “Maybe I’m not cut out to be a lieutenant. ”
She pulled her hands back, shifting her gaze.
She traced the initials she’d carved over the years, AC and RC for her parents and GC and WC for Gran and Grandad.
Her father had never made the rank of lieutenant, but he’d still been a dedicated fireman; at least that was what Grandad had always said.
A tear slid down her cheek as her fingers hovered over WC.
“I only want to make you proud.”
The breeze rippling through the willow was her only reminder to breathe. She begged the flush in her cheeks to fade. Her hand fell away, and she allowed the memories to pass through her mind.
She combed her hands through the damp, dark-brown waves of her hair and began braiding it past her shoulder as a pair of what could only be combat boots came bursting down the path.
“Mar, you up there?” Viv’s roaring laughter echoed as she slid to a halt at the base of the willow.
A small smile grazed Amaris’s lips at Viv’s upbeat voice.
Her laugh was like thunder, loud and prominent.
She was the only person Amaris had shared her sacred spot with.
As best friends, they’d perched together in the willow, holding the other when life became unbearably lonesome.
When Viv’s mother had gone to jail last year, they’d spent an entire night listening to the violins of the crickets and the buzzing of cicadas.
“Maybe,” Amaris mumbled back, wiping away the tears.
Viv’s sigh was followed by the shaking of the branches. She climbed up, finding a seat across from Amaris, hugging her long legs to her chest. She leaned in and sniffed. “Do I smell cinnamon rolls?” Amaris could’ve sworn Viv had the senses of a bloodhound. “What did he do this time?”
Viv sipped from her thermos that read, I survived the fire academy, come at me b*tch. Her teal eyes shot like daggers over the rim with her cutting stare. She wielded her eyes like a weapon. One minute they were pleading and full of hope, and the next they were ripping your innards out.
“Nothing,” Amaris groaned, “it was a stupid fight, and he apologized this morning.” She didn’t want to think about what Derek yelled at her each time they fought. It threatened to rip a hole in her chest.
“One word, Mar, and I’ll rip his fucking head off,” Viv said, biting into the wind.
Amaris admired her overprotective nature, but what she didn’t want to see was Viv go toe-to-toe with Derek. No one would win that fight.
Amaris rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone as it buzzed against her leg. Notifications flashed on the screen. Seven unread texts about the fire and three missed calls—all from Derek.
Viv narrowed her eyes, but Amaris pulled the phone back from her prying daggers.
“For as clingy and controlling as he is, I’m surprised he cares,” Viv said.
Viv hadn’t been a fan of Derek ever since she found out they met when Amaris had been a freshman in high school and he’d been a senior. They hadn’t dated until after she graduated, but Viv still refused to like him.
“He’s stressed with work.”
“But the arguing and the drinking, Mar? How long are you going to let this go on?”
Amaris dug her nails into her palms, fighting the anger simmering beneath. She didn’t want to talk about it.
“Maybe it’s time for—”
“For what?” Amaris shouted, throwing her arms out.
“A change.” Viv held her stance, not shying away. “He didn’t remember, did he?”
Amaris pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, fighting the urge to scream or cry—she didn’t even know anymore. Derek had forgotten yesterday was the anniversary of the shipwreck and her parents’ deaths.
“You’re a successful and confident woman, and you’ve already lost so much.”
That should’ve meant the world, hitting the sweet part of her chest and filling her with pride or at least reassurance, but Viv had hit a solid wall.
“I love him,” she said. “Why don’t you get it? Couples go through rough patches.”
Amaris attempted to push her away, to send her words of love where her mind couldn’t sink its claws into them. She clutched her cheeks and slumped against the tree trunk.
“Mar, please. You deserve—”
“Just drop it.”
“But—”
“I’m fine,” she snapped, but she was far from fine.
Derek had called their wedding stupid, he’d forgotten about her parents, and he cared more about his cases than her.
They hadn’t been themselves, but there was still the hope it’d get better.
Once he’d gotten a grip on his extra workload and slowed down on the drinking, they’d get back to the old them—they had to.
He was still the Derek she’d taken midnight drives with and sneaked kisses with behind closed doors.
Viv leaned back, pressing her lips tight as Amaris threw her head back in a sigh. Viv’s hand found hers and squeezed.
A breeze jingled the chimes above Amaris’s head, attempting to pull the sweltering anger from her with its silver bells.
Grandad had bought Gran a wind chime for each anniversary.
When he’d died, Gran had tucked most of them away besides this one, their first wind chime.
After Gran’s death, Amaris had kept it and hung it here to always feel their presence.
Her mind raced—the heat of the fire pressing in, their low air alarms mixing with the air horn blasts, and the angry fights about setting a wedding date.
A breeze bristled the leaves. She knew it was only the summer air, but she wanted it to be them. All four of them, watching over her.
Why is everything falling apart? She was a paramedic. Healing and fixing things was her job. Why couldn’t she mend what was falling apart between her and Derek? She prayed to the ghosts flying on the wind, hoping they would one day whisper back and answer her call.