Chapter 30 #2
Adelaide gave her a wry smile. “It’s mine and Theo’s secret…going to the beach. I fear what the duke might do to him if he ever found out, especially after what happened. I never thought he’d sentence his own son to a punishment of that severity.”
“What happens when Theodoric becomes the next chief?” If he’d trained her, maybe he’d allow her to fight one day.
“When Theo assumes the title of chief, it’ll be under Luther’s rule. He could very well allow it or hold to the duke’s wishes. Luther is more like the duke than Theo or me. I’m not holding my breath.”
Slumping, she gripped the handle of the brush. She pulled a few shorter strands along Amaris’s face, and their curls bounced against her cheeks. She hadn’t seen curls like that since she’d been a kid. She’d missed how the salty air caused her waves to turn to spirals.
A single tear rolled from Adelaide’s cheek.
She let it hang on the edge of her face.
“When I was younger, I tried to fight this.” She gestured to herself, her knives discarded across the room.
“But I couldn’t.” She gripped her elbows and retreated to her disheveled bed.
“I want to fight alongside everyone else.”
“A real woman will fight for her true self without caring what others think.”
Pressing the wrinkles from her dress, Adelaide wiped the tears from her cheeks, not even allowing them to ruin her makeup.
“I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever be able to have the life I want.
Each day passes, and I’m still training in hiding.
I cannot wander the manor all day and train at night forever.
” She adjusted the holsters around her thigh.
“With Luther’s engagement, I fear I may be next.
Theo doesn’t have to marry or produce heirs or anything.
Well, neither do I, but I don’t have many options as a lady of Luana.
I can either become a soldier or marry another pathetic noble.
As the prior is not on the table, what else am I going to do with my life? ”
“Fuck tradition,” Amaris blurted out. “Or run away.”
Adelaide’s look of complete disbelief was almost hilarious. Amaris didn’t know it was possible to render her speechless.
“If you want to be a soldier, go make a name for yourself somewhere else. Who says you have to stay here all your life? If you want your parents to arrange a marriage for you, then stay. But honestly, you should marry someone you love and trust, not some stranger off the streets.”
She pictured Adelaide in full military camouflage. Her soul yearned for a life far from her own. Amaris had no doubt in her mind if Adelaide could truly wield one of those large swords that she could easily become a soldier wherever she went. She didn’t deserve to be sheltered.
Amaris considered sharing the truth of who she was and where she came from, but she swallowed it. “What if you came with me?”
Adelaide relinquished the death grip she had on her sheets, her eyes finding Amaris’s in the vanity mirror. “You mean leave Luana Bay?”
“Why not? Come with me, and then maybe Esaias won’t have to risk leaving. You could be a soldier in the King’s Guard or somewhere else.” Amaris held her tongue. If she decided to leave with her, they’d have a long enough journey where she’d eventually find a way to tell her where she was from.
“I can’t.” The few silver specks around Adelaide’s irises fizzled out. “I just got him back. I can’t leave.”
“Theodoric?” His name came out in a whisper.
Adelaide nodded. “I’ve missed him so much, but he’s changed.
After his flogging and learning what happened to him.
” Adelaide paused, taking a steady breath.
“I want to help him find himself again.” She reached for her makeup, pressing her finger to the red pigment and brushing it along Amaris’s lips and cheeks.
A black paste was used for mascara as Adelaide dragged it over her lashes.
“All done,” she uttered, a dead cadence in her tone.
“It takes time.” Amaris inhaled a deep breath as Adelaide threw her makeup into the drawer. “What he went through, people can learn to live with it, make sense of it all, but he needs time.”
“I hope you’re right,” she choked, grasping Amaris’s hand and heaving her up. “But in the meantime, I need to be here for him. He’s spent much of his life protecting and taking care of others. I think it’s time someone else stepped up and showed him the same gratitude.”
Adelaide turned to her wardrobe and pulled out a pair of silk flats.
Their connection had Amaris wishing she had siblings.
If her parents had lived, would they have wanted more kids?
Viv was the closest thing Amaris had to a sister.
She wouldn’t know where she’d be without her.
She’d hopefully still be a paramedic, but would she have been brave enough to take the lieutenant’s test?
Would she have even passed the academy to become a firefighter?
Adelaide stepped in front of her mirror, fussing with her dress to cover the knives.
She was willing to sacrifice what she wanted most in the world for her brother.
Amaris bit the edge of her thumb. If she left, she’d never see any of them again.
No more conversations about books and magic with Pricilla, gossip sessions with Adelaide, or teasing Theodoric over his love for erotic novels.
She stood behind Adelaide, catching a glimpse of herself in the full-length mirror. If she stayed, she’d be a prisoner. But if she returned home, wouldn’t she still be a prisoner trapped in a relationship she didn’t know what to do with anymore?