41. Chapter Forty-One
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
MORTE
F or hours, we sit on the bank, in quiet peace before the souls become restless again. The mist rising from the river swirls around us, ethereal in their haunting beauty, and clinging to my skin like a thousand icy fingers. It’s so unlike the rest of the underworld.
I rise to stand at the water's edge, feeling its pull—the promise of death and the chance to save the one who should never have left. The River of Souls moves in front of me, winding endlessly into the dark red horizon, the currents alive with the glow of millions of souls. Each one shifts, pulses, and glows faintly beneath the murky surface, like lanterns dancing in a never-ending sea of shadows. Eager for whatever offering I have for it.
I inhale deeply, tasting salt and sorrow in the air, letting it scald my lungs.
Emeric’s hand rests on my shoulder. He watches the river, his brow creased, a frown tugging at his lips as he surveys the dark waters. Wilder stands close by, his eyes darting between me and the restless river, the tension practically vibrating off him. His attention splits back and forth between me and the churning water. He’s tense— his stance ready, as if expecting an attack, though I know it’s the danger of retrieving Az’s soul that’s making him uneasy.
“This is where it starts.” Oryx gestures, his tone low, almost lost in the haunting murmurs of the river.
The veil between realms—the fragile line that separates this plane from the river's restless current. That’s where I must go. That’s where I’ll find Az.
I draw in a breath, steadying the tremor in my hands. There’s no more room for hesitation. I lift my free hand, gripping the dagger at my side. As I extract the blade, it catches a ray of sunlight, reflecting off the metal in a dull flash against the red sky. Come home to me. I draw the blade across my palm, hissing at the sudden sting. Warmth spills over my skin, dripping down to meet the waiting river.
The blood seeps into the water, spreading like tendrils of crimson ink, and the river shifts. A low murmur rises from the dark depths, an unnatural hum vibrating in the pit of my stomach. I brace myself, focusing on Azazel—on his warmth, his laughter, the fire that had always burned behind his eyes. I pour it all into the river, let the blood carry every piece of him that I’ve kept locked inside. His smile. His strength. His love. Every fragment of him that’s still a part of me.
Emeric steps forward, his breath brushing against my ear, his hand pressing firmly against the small of my back. “Think about the moment you first knew you loved him.” His power pulses, spreading from his fingers, weaving through my magic, reaching into the unseen, guiding my thoughts.
The river’s surface ripples, responding to my blood and memories. The moment I first knew I loved Azazel washes over me, as vivid as if it were happening now. We were in my tiny shack, and I told him my deepest shame, about what I did. It was the first time I’d opened up to someone since Wilder. It was freeing. I see Azazel’s face, his eyes soft with understanding as I bare my soul to him. The way he didn’t judge me, didn’t recoil from my darkest secrets. Instead, he pulled me closer, his arms a sanctuary I never knew I needed.
Even now, I can feel the gravity of that moment—the safety he offered, the shelter in his quiet understanding. He didn't need to say more. His promise, made in the dark, stayed with me: "You'll never face this alone. I'll protect you."
Searching the River of Souls, I wonder if he ever understood what that night meant to me. What he meant to me.
That night, everything changed for me.
The memory pulses through me, and I feel the river respond. I open my eyes, and the world around me has shifted. The current shifts, swirling around my feet, tugging gently as if beckoning me closer.
Wilder crouches beside me, his eyes on the shifting river, his fingers tracing sigils into the air—commanding the currents. The river splits, parting under his touch, and a path opens before us, winding deeper into the shadows. “There,” he murmurs, the current bending to his will, the darkness yielding as he forces a way forward.
I close my eyes, focusing inward, letting the river take me—letting the memories guide me. The warmth of Azazel’s hand on my back, his lips brushing my temple, his deep chuckle echoing in my ears. I pour everything into the blood and mist, my magic seeking his, reaching through the in-between.
“Azazel,” I whisper, barely a breath, my voice cracking from the weight of his name. I press forward, the world blurring into muted grays, my vision narrowing to the glowing lights beneath the water. Each pulse of light draws me deeper, calls to the part of me that refuses to let go. “Please … I need you.”
The river stirs, as Wilder’s magic bends the currents, pushing them back as Emeric’s energy wraps around us. I feel him—a flash of recognition—Azazel’s presence, just a hint, yet unmistakable. My heart clenches, and I reach out, fingers unsteady as I plunge my hand into the cold water, the current biting at my skin, trying to pull me under.
Emeric leans in, his lips brushing my ear, his magic flowing through me, bolstering me. “He’s close. Don’t lose him now.” His breath ghosts over my skin, the warmth cutting through the icy grip of the river .
The souls beneath the surface writhe, shifting, their cries rising in a dissonant chorus that echoes in my skull. I grit my teeth, pushing against the river’s pull, fingers tightening around the warmth, the glow that pulses in my grasp—Azazel.
My head dips beneath the water to pull him from a crevice. The frigid water engulfs me, the shock of it nearly making me gasp. I clamp my mouth shut, fighting the instinct to breathe as I plunge deeper into the murky depths. The souls swirl around me, their whispers growing louder, more insistent. Their pain and anguish seep into my mind, threatening to overwhelm me. I feel their emptiness, their despair, their longing for life.
Their longing for mine.
My lungs burn, screaming for air as my fingers curl around Az’s shapeless form, trying to pry it free.
He doesn’t want you, an eerie voice sounds from next to me.
I startle, dropping Az, watching as his soul eddies further down the river. “No!” I cry out, the word bubbling from my lips in a rush of precious air as panic surges through me. I lunge after him, kicking against the current. My lungs ache, spots dancing before my eyes as I struggle to hold my breath. I can’t lose him again. Not now. Not when I’m so close.
Suddenly, the river parts, and Wilder’s muscled arms encircle my waist, yanking me back to the surface. I gasp, gulping in air as we break through, my vision blurring with tears of frustration.
“Let me go!” I choke out, trying to pull out of his hold. My hair clings to my face as I thrash, coughing roughly to expel water from my lungs.
Wilder tightens his grasp, holding me against his chest. “You’re no good to him if you drown!” His arms hold me steady as the river surges around us, the souls’ wails piercing through the rushing water.
“Emeric!” Wilder shouts over the noise, dragging us toward the shallows. “We need you!”
Em is there in an instant, his face panicked. His eyes dart between me and the river, and he drops to his knees beside us. “What happened? ”
“He slipped away,” I rasp, terror-stricken as Wilder eases me onto the riverbank. “The souls—they’re trying to keep him. They’re—” My breath hitches, the memory of the voice echoing in my mind.
My hellhound mate doesn’t hesitate. He pulls his dagger free, slashing across his palm, his blood dripping into the river. “Focus on him.” He kneels on the rocks, cupping my cheeks. “Not the voices. Not the souls. Az. Think more about the moment you knew you loved him. Hold onto that.”
I squeeze my eyes shut as I concentrate. The memory rushes back, replaying in my mind, over and over again.
The way he looks at me makes me feel exposed. I bite my lip and sigh. "I guess I just wanted to know more about you," I admit softly.
A smile slowly spreads across his face, and something in the air shifts. "I'm flattered." He takes my chin in his hand, forcing me to meet his gaze. "What else do you want to know?"
My breath catches in my throat and adrenaline rushes through my veins. I'm not sure what to say. I opened Pandora's box and now I'm not sure what to do with it.
"Everything," I blurt out eventually, steeling myself for whatever may come next. "I want to know everything.”
He chuckles, his eyes flashing with amusement. "My favorite color is black," he declares, his words low, capturing me in its thrall. "But not black like the shadows that haunt us in our sleep, but black like the color the night sky turns when the sun retreats into nothingness. I love the smell just before it storms, because it's like all the bad is being washed away by a cleansing rain, and the sound of darksteeds taking flight. That's my favorite thing about being here." His words drift away, his gaze distant, as though searching the room for something long forgotten. "I used to have parents, and I'm still getting used to being alone." He releases my chin. "Do you have any more questions?"
He’d kissed my palm that night, just after I took his hand in mine. Before I’d confessed my greatest shame. It was then I realized my tongue was no longer bound by Wilder’s spell.
Az had seen my shame, my brokenness, and held it as though it was precious. As though I was precious .
Emeric’s magic threads through mine, anchoring me to the memory. I feel it coil and strengthen, wrapping around the fragile thread of Azazel’s presence, as though it only happened yesterday. His voice pulls me back from the edge. “He’s there. You have to reach for him.”
Wilder kneels beside us, his fingers trailing through the river as he mutters under his breath. The water shifts, responding to his call, parting to reveal the wispy glow of Az’s soul far below. His power bends the current, creating a path. “I’ll hold the river.” Strain colors his words. “You just bring him back.”
Emeric inclines his head, his hand steady on mine as he helps me push forward, submerging myself once more. The river resists, and the souls clutch at my limbs, their anguish trying to pull me under. But Emeric’s magic burns like a shield, pushing them back as I swim toward the glow. My lungs scream, but I keep moving, reaching out until my fingers brush the warmth of Az’s soul.
Please, please, please. I tighten my grip, pulling with everything I have.
The current surges, violent and ruthless, but Wilder’s power bends it, forcing it back. His timbre reverberates through the water, his magic bolstering mine. “Almost there! Don’t let go!”
The river bucks one last time, a final attempt to rip Az from me, but Emeric’s magic flares, a burst of heat and light that sends the souls scattering. I break the surface, gasping for air as I clutch Az’s soul to my chest, its warmth searing into my skin as I let out a sob.
He’s here. He’s here, and he’s safe.
“I’ve got you,” I whisper, my voice cracking, my heart pounding as I cling to the light. I want to weep for eternity, to fall to my knees and rejoice.
The river bucks as the souls thrash, their wails piercing the air, but Wilder steps in, his power surging, bending the currents, forcing them to yield.
My sopping wet clothes cling to my skin, and the adrenaline leaves me shaking as Wilder drags me onto the bank, his arms wrapping around me, steadying me as I collapse, still cradling Az’s soul. I won’t let go, not even for a second.
It pulses against my palm, as though syncing perfectly with my heartbeat, and perhaps it has.
Emeric crouches beside us, his hand brushing over Az’s pale, beautiful soul, its tendrils clinging to our fingers like sentient static. His lips curve into a rare, relieved smile. I haven’t seen one of these on him in a while.
“We’ve got him,” Emeric murmurs as he drops to the rock bed. His smile falters as his frown shifts to the glowing, fragile light cradled in my hands. “But we can’t leave him like this. Souls untethered are too vulnerable. The river will try to take him again.”
Wilder crouches beside me, his hands warm on my shoulders. “You’ve got the bracelet. Use it.”
My eyes track to the bracelet circling my wrist, its dark glass encasing the heart-shaped shell. It’s always felt like a piece of Wilder’s soul resting against my skin—a vow, a lifeline—but now it must carry so much more.
This feels a bit like a full-circle moment as I meet my merfae’s tender stare.
“Are you sure this is okay?”
He gives me a sad smile. “It’s more than okay.” His fingers brush my sopping hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ears. “It’s what needs to be done.”
I swallow, staring back down at the fragile glow of Az’s soul. “I’ve never done this before. What if I mess it up? I-I don’t want to lose him again.”
“You won’t.” Emeric’s voice cuts through my doubt. “Just let your magic guide you. The bond between you and Az, it’s still there. Use it.”
“Okay,” I whisper, pulling the bracelet from my wrist, its cool surface smooth in my palm. The shell glitters in the crimson sun, as if it already knows what’s coming and is ready for the monumental task of welcoming part of my world into it. My fingers tremble as I hold it over Az’s soul, unsure quite what I’m doing, but hoping my magic will figure it out .
“Focus on him,” Wilder urges, his words a balm to my battered heart. “On who he is. On everything you’ve shared.”
I close my eyes, clutching the bracelet over Az’s soul. I reach inward, calling forth the fire that’s always burned at my core, that wild, untamed spark that makes me a phoenix. As though waking from a long nap, the heat unfurls within me, spreading its wings, the warmth building, spreading through my veins until it pools in my fingertips, the surrounding air vibrating with its intensity.
The river shudders, the world shifting, the in-between dissolving as the glow solidifies in my grasp—Azazel’s soul, warm and pulsing, alive, and eager, as though it recognizes the magic reaching for it, welcomes it. I press the bracelet against the warmth, and a shock runs through me, a jolt that feels like lightning splitting me in two. My breath catches as the shell absorbs the glow, the dark glass coming alive with a bright, golden light. Warmth floods through me, filling the hollow ache.
Emeric’s hand lands on mine, steadying me as the magic intensifies. “Almost there. Bind it.”
I let the fire flow freely, channeling it into the bracelet, coaxing Az’s soul into its new vessel. Memories flood my mind—his quiet laughter, the way he’d pull me close when I felt like falling apart, the fire in his eyes when he fought with me during the Forsaken Hunt. When we mated. Each ember strengthens the bond, weaving his essence into the shell, locking him in place.
The bracelet grows warm, almost hot, as the last tendrils of light sink into the glass. The shell pulses once, then settles, its glow steady. My hand shakes as I pull it away, the realization hitting me like a dam breaking.
“It’s done,” I whisper, clutching the bracelet to my chest, too afraid to let it just dangle from my wrist. Tears spill down my cheeks, my breath hitching, everything in me aching as I look down at the piece of jewelry that holds everything to me. “Azazel …”
Wilder exhales a shaky breath, brushing his knuckles against my cheek, steadying the frantic beat of my heart. “You did it. ”
Emeric leans closer, his eyes scanning the bracelet with awe and relief. “He’s safe.”
Az is with me. Not whole, not yet, but here. Alive.
And I’ll do whatever it takes to bring him back fully. The weight of it nearly brings me to my knees, but Wilder and Emeric hold me steady, their arms wrapping around me, their warmth bleeding into mine.