Chapter 17
Caelan
When I entered Aenan’s study not an hour later, I found him reviewing a map that lay across his desk. He tapped his finger on the eastern border of Assyntian, further south than where Wyndaryn lay.
“Brother,” he said, not looking up. “I’m glad you joined me.”
I flicked him a glance, my brows furrowed, wondering what he wanted. But I didn’t really give much thought to it. My mind was still on Rowan. On what had just transpired.
When I did not respond, Aenan cleared his throat, regarding me coolly. “What’s going on?” he asked, his eyes raking over me.
I went to the drinks table and poured myself a finger of his best whisky, knocking it back in one go. Sighing, I poured another.
“Caelan, I’ll ask again: why is my sister currently in her room feeling as if her heart is broken?”
My anger flared. It didn’t happen all that often, but when it did, it was usually with the male opposite me. “Stay out of it, Aenan,” I said, a slight growl in my voice.
His nostrils flared. “Don’t play with her, Caelan.”
I glared at him before pacing away and looking out the window.
He of all people should know I’d never “play” with her.
With others, sure. There had been plenty over the years.
I’d not lived the life of a blessed scribe.
But I’d known none of them were going to be the one for me, and I’d made sure they knew it too.
Knew I was just passing time, waiting for her.
Was still waiting, it seemed.
“I’m not,” I said curtly.
“Then what is going on?” he asked.
Turning, I eyed him, uncertain of how much I should share.
Rowan was his sister, after all. “I…” I shook my head, forcing myself to maintain eye contact.
Aenan was frowning, his eyebrows slashed.
I looked into the familiar blue depths below them, just like I had a hundred times before.
It was funny – only now did I realise those eyes were the exact same shade as his sister’s.
I’d grown up with this male. Was raised, for the most part, as his brother. We had shared secrets and our innermost thoughts our entire lives. Yet somehow, it felt wrong to divulge my emotions. Especially regarding his twin.
“Come on, Caelan, you moody prick. Whatever it is, I can see it eating away at you. You need to get it off your chest. I know you, remember. Know how much you hold on to things.” He took a sip of his drink, eyeing me coolly over the top of the glass.
I looked out the window again. Moody prick indeed. I was certain I’d called him that a time or two. “Mind your own business.”
“SHE IS MY BLOODY BUSINESS!” he raged. “This is my sister we are talking about.”
I exploded, spinning on him. “YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT?”
“Then tell me what is going on!”
I gritted my teeth. “I can’t, Aenan. I… I just can’t.”
His eyes narrowed and he regarded me for so long, I was certain the conversation was over.
“Caelan. I know you are not a stupid man, but brother, if you don’t let go of whatever it is that you are holding on to, it will be the end of you, and this potential relationship.
Don’t let what my father said, what he did to us, continue to torment you. Let. It. Go.”
He looked over my shoulder, his eyes slightly glazed as he stared off into the distance. I could see the sadness there before he blinked, and it went away.
“I know that is easier said than done. If anyone knows that, it is me. He was a miserable, broken male in the end, and we unfortunately bore the brunt of it.”
“It’s not that,” I said, with another heartfelt sigh.
When I said no more, he huffed and poured himself another drink, throwing it back and then slamming down the glass.
“Fine. Have it your way.” He scowled. “Caelan, don’t get me wrong – you’re my brother and I love you like one.
But this is my sister – my little sister – who I’ve missed for a lifetime.
I won’t lose her when I only just got her back. ”
I stared back, letting his words penetrate. What was he saying, exactly? That if things with Rowan didn’t work out, I would no longer have a home here?
“I don’t know what you want from me!”
A vein pulsed in his forehead as he struggled to reel in whatever he clearly wanted to say. He swallowed it down, a feat I had not seen in a long while.
“I think Rowan very much sees you for who you are, and likes everything she sees,” he said.
At my raised eyebrow, he continued, “Trust me. I hear it. Not just in what she sends my way accidentally, but in what she doesn’t say when she thinks she is being discreet.
She likes you. And for that reason… I think you should leave. ”
He tapped the map on his desk, the one he had been looking at when I arrived.
“Here,” he said. “I need you to go here. And sort your shit out while you’re gone.”