Chapter 20
Caelan
All hell broke out upon Vaeyl’s exit. Villagers still in the tavern started screaming, and there was a mad scramble to get out the door.
“Dark Fae!”
“The Dark Fae are here!”
“Run!”
Aenan yelled orders to his guards, shouting to be heard above the cries of the scared townsfolk. I only had eyes for Rowan. She was cowering in the corner, her back still pressed against the wall. Trembling. Shaking. In shock. Tears coursed down her cheeks as she stared into space.
“Rowan.” Stowing my sword, I held my hand out.
She only stared at it with a blank look.
“Come, Rowan, it’s time to leave,” I said, my tone firmer than I wanted it to be. But it seemed to penetrate her glazed stare, and she raised her eyes to mine.
“Caelan?”
“Aye, little bird,” I said, softer. “Come now. Up you get.” She allowed me to pull her from the seat, and I swung her into my arms, holding her tight.
With a nod to Aenan, I rushed from the tavern, through the laneways, towards the stables, holding her against me with one arm around her back and the other under her knees.
She kept her head burrowed into my chest the entire time.
The square, which had been bustling and full of people when I had previously come through, now resembled a ghost town.
Stalls had been abandoned, goods left out in the open, as the people, hearing the cries of “Dark Fae”, had fled for the safety of their homes.
Only a few brave sprites remained, their bodies flickering softly.
The horses, thankfully, were already saddled when we arrived, their powerful muscles rippling beneath their sleek coats as they felt the tension in the air.
I placed Rowan down, just briefly, to position Mack, but when she made to move away, my heart gave a funny clench, so I reached for her again.
Grabbing her about the waist, I lifted her onto my horse’s back, leaping up behind her.
“You’ll ride with me.”
My tone was harsher than I intended, but she didn’t argue. In fact, she hadn’t said a thing. Only that whisper of my name when she first looked at me. It made me feel… something. And that something was not good.
The fear I had felt when I saw her trapped in that corner, Vaeyl blocking her in, still tore at me.
Ripping apart my insides. I’d had nothing to do but think, over the last few days.
Nothing but time to decide what I wanted.
And I thought I had come to a decision. But then, to see her there, scared, trapped, alone…
It tore at my heart. At my soul. And I needed to calm myself before I did, or said, something that might spook the lass.
So, she was riding with me, because my stupid, greedy heart couldn’t bear to let her go.
Not yet.
Not ever.
With a sharp whistle, I kicked Mack into gear, and we took off down the road, the wind whipping Rowan’s hair across my face.
She clutched at my arm desperately, so I wrapped my own around her waist, pulling her tight.
When we left the village proper, I eased up on the reins, allowing Mack to resume a more sedate pace.
Two guards caught up to us, falling into place at our rear.
With the moon shining brightly and nothing but stars above, my racing pulse began to slow, my fear easing away. I felt better prepared for the conversation I knew was coming. Once Rowan was able to think straight again, it would happen sooner rather than later.
And that it did.
She sat up straight, pulling her back away from my chest. “Why?” she asked, her voice shaking.
“Why what?” I replied, pulling her back to me.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were a changeling? That you were human?”
“I— What?”
It wasn’t what I’d thought she would ask, and I was struck dumb for a moment.
How she hadn’t realised before now was beyond me.
I hadn’t been trying to hide it. The day we walked through Reverran on our way to Wyndaryn, the townsfolk had whispered it.
They usually did. I didn’t have the pointed ears of the fae, either, but I guess I didn’t really highlight that.
I wore my hair slightly longer and it always curled over the tops. Hiding my humanness. My otherness.
“I thought you knew,” I responded.
The answer seemed to bother her, like I had just confirmed something. Either that or she wasn’t quite sure whether to believe me or not. A trickle of unease swept up my spine when she pulled forward again.
“When did you come here, Caelan?” she asked, the trepidation in her voice breaking my heart.
I swallowed. Hard. “Twenty-five years ago.”
She twisted around to look at me over her shoulder. “Were you… Are you Rowan?”
The guilt in her eyes, the way she looked at me as if she were fearful of the answer, had me glancing away. I couldn’t bear to be the one to put that look there.
I shook my head. “If I was, I am no more.”
She swung back around before I could catch a glimpse of her face, and a void cracked open between us, growing wider and wider with every second that passed. Tension ripened the air. Thickening and stretching until I felt I could not breathe.
Until… it exploded out of her.
“Please don’t hate me!” she exclaimed.
My relief was so sudden that I guffawed. But when I heard the sniffle she tried desperately to hide, I cut it off and turned her head to me, a finger to her chin.
“Come now,” I said. “I don’t hate you. Why would you think that?”
She sniffed again, her eyes swimming with unshed tears. “I stole the life that was meant to be yours. Grew up in your world, with your parents. I’m the reason you’re here. And you’ve been avoiding me. Surely you hate me?”
I shook my head, stunned.
“Resent me?”
Another shake.
“Maybe dislike me, just a little?”
My lip twitched.
“Why wouldn’t you hate me?”
“One,” I said firmly, “you didn’t steal anything from me, Rowan.
My life here is not your fault. And two, I haven’t been avoiding you.
I was giving you the space you asked for.
” Her eyes flared, but I pressed on. “I could never hate you. Why would you think that? I’m actually extremely fond of you. ” Emotion made my voice rough.
She stared at me again, her pretty little mouth open in shock.
“I…” She swallowed and tried again. “I didn’t ask for space,” she said.
“I suggested taking it slow to see how you felt about me. Not the most mature way to ask – I realise that now as I’m saying it – but I wanted to see if we were on the same page.
But then you said you wanted to keep it casual.
No expectations. And then I didn’t see you for five days! What was I supposed to think?”
She was rambling, and it was so damn cute, my grin grew. If my heart was not already set on this woman, it would have been in that moment.
I grasped her chin, holding her tight, and kissed her fiercely.
“In case I haven’t made myself clear, lass,” I growled when I finally let her go, “I adore you.”
She stared at me breathlessly.
“I want you in my life, Rowan. And in my bed. I want to spend every waking minute by your side, and the sleeping ones too. I want to learn everything about you. And tell you everything about me. Is that clear enough for you, little bird?”
She gulped, her eyes so wide they were all but falling out of her head.
“I think I’m melting. Yes, I am definitely melting. My insides have turned to liquid fire and are burning up inside of me. I want nothing more than to turn around and climb into your lap. Clothing preferably optional.”
I grinned at her. But she looked back at me, stupefied.
“I’d like that too,” I said, smirking.
Her eyes darted away, and she squeaked, a delightful high-pitched sound I had never heard from her before.
Her face turned beet-red, and she faced forward so suddenly I had to grab her so she didn’t topple from Mack’s back.
Glancing over my shoulder, I noticed Brannan, one of the guards, sporting a huge grin.
“I said that out loud, didn’t I?” Rowan asked.
I laughed. And so did Brannan and the other guard. I leant my chin on top of her head, delighting in the feel of her in my arms.
“Aye, lass, but I’m happy to hear it.”