Chapter 28
Rowan
The journey home was a sombre affair. The weight of all I had been told consumed me.
It sat upon my shoulders like a giant anchor.
Pulling me down. Drowning me. The very air grew heavy, oppressive, mirroring my darkening mood.
Aenan and Orick rode ahead, seeking solace from that darkness.
But Caelan – ever supportive – remained at my side, a stoic and silent companion for my troubled thoughts.
You’re very quiet, little bird.
I could only nod. How did I tell him? How could I tell this man, the one who looked at me as if I were his whole world, that not only had I chosen to steal him away from his life, but I had also chosen him for my mate, ripping from him any ability to accept?
He was the one who had no control of his destiny.
Had never had control. Not from the moment I made the decision to cross over.
Not from the moment I latched on to him as he passed me by, like a drowning sailor clinging to a lifeboat, forever setting in place the bond that now burned deep within us both.
Guilt soured my stomach.
We rode in silence, but when we were only a mile from home, Caelan reached his tipping point. Pulling Mack to a stop, he motioned for me to do the same with Gertie, then reached over and pulled me from my saddle, placing me across his lap. I clung to him, suddenly terrified of dropping.
“What—?” I squeaked.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” he said. “I’m assuming Eudora told you something to make you feel this way. Perhaps sharing with me will help?”
I didn’t deserve this man. Everything about him was pure kindness. Even in anger, he had been kind.
“She called me a Dream Weaver,” I said, choosing to take the easy route first and build up to the problem. “She said it was another gift.”
“A Dream Weaver. Aye, that makes sense.”
Twisting, I looked up at him. “Why do you say that?”
“I’ve been visiting your dreams for many a year now and have seen some weird and wonderful things. And I am certain not all of them are real in your world.”
I slapped his chest. “You have not! What sort of things?”
He rubbed a hand across his chest like I’d actually hurt him. “Like a giant tin bird that flies in the sky.”
“That is real.” I giggled at his wide eyes. “What else?”
“How about deer that bounce around on two legs, and a talking yellow bear?”
“Deer that bounce on two legs… Oh, you’re talking about kangaroos. Yep, real!”
“And the bear?”
I giggled again. “Oh, that’s Winnie. No, he’s not real. That’s a cartoon.”
“Feel better, lass?” he asked, rubbing his cheek across the top of my head.
I snuggled into his chest and drew in a deep breath of his woodsy pine scent. He always smelt so good. “I do, actually. How did you do that?”
Magick, he said, smiling in my head.
I smiled back, but then, with a deep breath, I told him what troubled me. “Accepting the mate bond means I can never return to my home. Never see Sarah again. But not accepting it means we will not break the curse.”
“And is that what you want? To return home?” He tried to hide the tremor in his voice, but I heard it anyway. I stared at him, understanding what he was asking without him actually saying the words. “We’ll find another way, then,” he said immediately, not waiting for my answer.
“What?”
“If you can never go home, and if that is what you want. Not that I want you to ever leave, but if you couldn’t, and that was a sticking point, then we will just have to find another way to break the curse.”
My heart skipped a beat, and I stared at him, certain I was in shock.
In love.
He’d just prioritised my thoughts, my feelings, above everything else, even though I knew it must have killed him to think I wanted to leave.
It was so effortless that the cloud upon my soul lifted and I could breathe again.
The crushing weight in my chest disappeared and, in its place, a warm, golden glow bloomed.
It spread like a wildfire. Pushing into every crack.
Every crevice. Filling me up inside. All my doubts, all my worries, all my fears were burned away by its blazing light.
I peeked at him from beneath my lashes. His own eyes widened ever so slightly.
“If you keep looking at me like that, lass, I’ll have to stop the horse.”
“I think you should stop the horse,” I said, trying to turn around in his lap.
“Whoa, now. What are you doing?”
“Trying to turn around, but now that you’ve stopped…”
I slipped out of the saddle, Caelan following me a moment later. We’d made it to the outer edges of the estate. Remembering how far Aenan had said he had to go the other night, I sent him a silent apology before grabbing Caelan’s hand and pulling him into the trees off the side of the road.
“I need you,” I said, my voice husky as I undid the buttons of his shirt and pulled off my dress. Every inch of my skin was on fire, craving his touch. “Right now.”
His mist-grey eyes widened again, then darkened with desire. He let me push him down and clad only in my shift, I straddled his hips, placing my hands on his muscular chest. His heart raced beneath my palm, matching the frantic pace of my own.
“While I’m not one to say no,” he started, his voice thick with need, “what has come over you? You were brooding just a second ago—”
My lips crushed against his with a desperation born of longing.
I love you.
I wanted to say it out loud. Wanted to shout it to the skies! But the words were trapped in my throat, smothered by our kiss.
He softened instantly, as if my words released a tension within him that I hadn’t realised he was holding. His hand tangled in my hair, holding me close as he kissed me back with an intensity that matched my feverish desire. I poured everything I felt into that kiss, and he returned it, twofold.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I pulled away, breathless. “I want you,” I whispered, before peppering his face with kisses. He smiled beneath my mouth.
“And I love the way you want me, lass,” he replied, his deep voice thick with emotion. “But if you don’t slow down, we’ll be finished before we’ve even started.”
I couldn’t stop, though. I wanted him in a way I had never wanted another.
I pawed at his laces, trying to free him from his pants.
When he saw my desperation, saw I was not going to stop, he groaned, then helped me move into place.
Before he could do anything else, before he could even take another breath, I seated myself, taking him to the hilt.
Fuck!
His head hit the ground as he flung it back, his jaw clenched. But the moan that escaped him and the curse that sounded in my mind told me everything I needed to know. He wanted this. He wanted me. He wanted us.
“Caelan?” I said, rolling my hips. His eyes slipped open, capturing mine with his hooded gaze. I stared him down, letting him see all the need. All the love. All the desire I felt for him. “Fuck me, Caelan.”
He growled. Mine. And something inside of him must have snapped at my crudity, because he flipped me over and slammed into me from above. Gasping, all I could do was hold on, so I linked my ankles behind his back as he pounded into me. Over and over and over again.
“Oh God! Caelan!” He felt so… so… so fucking good. I was mindless.
“Say it again,” he groaned.
“Fuck me,” I cried.
No, he said, a smile colouring his tone. The other.
I love you?
“Again,” he demanded.
My heart overflowed. Emotion burning. Building. He took me harder. Faster. His body moving with a primal force. Pressure built. And I felt that tension coiling, coiling, coiling, deep within my core. Tingles ran up my legs. Tightening my muscles. Heightening my senses.
I love you. I love you. I love you, I chanted, my mind a swirling maelstrom of passion.
With every thrust, every moan, every pulse within me, I felt myself getting closer. And closer. And closer still. And then, he angled my hips. Pushing against me, hitting my clit. Hitting a spot that caused lights to flicker behind my eyes.
As he thrust into me one last time, a golden light burst forth, engulfing us both in its brilliance. I couldn’t hold back any longer and screamed his name as my body flew apart with pleasure. He followed, just one stroke later, emptying himself into me with a roaring release.
He collapsed, pinning me to the ground. His heart thudded against my own, our pulses in sync.
Thud-ump. Thud-ump. Thud-ump.
We lay there. Spent. Breathless. Sated. Our bodies entwined in a tangle of limbs.
“I love you, Caelan.”
And I you.
You love me?
Aye, he murmured. I loved you even before I met you.
I rolled over to look at him, his arms coming around my back as he rolled too. “What does that mean?” I asked, plucking a piece of bark from his hair.
He gazed at me, his mist-grey eyes full of tenderness. Of love.
“All my life,” he said, “for as long as I can remember, anyway, I have been a Dream Walker. I’ve wandered the depths of your brother’s dreams since we were children. But… I’ve also roamed yours.”
He threaded our fingers together. Kissing my fingertips before continuing.
“I’ve watched you blossom from a sweet, innocent girl to the woman I see before me today. I have seen your world. Witnessed it through the veil of your dreams. Not only felt your innermost fears, but glimpsed your deepest desires.”
I blushed, remembering some of my more intimate dreams.
“And somewhere along the way,” he admitted, his voice catching with emotion, “I fell in love with you. With the essence of who you are. With the spirit that shines so brightly even in the darkest of your nights. I’ve said it before, Rowan – it was always you for me. It will always be you.”
Tears glistened in my eyes. He was baring his soul to me. His heart. It was all I ever wanted.
“No matter where life takes us, no matter what trials we may face, I belong to you. My heart belongs to you. My soul. Now and forever. I love you,” he whispered.