Rowan
I lay with my head on Caelan’s shoulder, my eyes shut as memories of all that had transpired earlier flooded in. Or was it the day before? His fingers ran up and down my back absently.
“Are we dreaming?” I asked.
Eyes still closed, he responded, “If that was a dream, lass, I never want to wake.”
His voice was lazy. Satiated. And it sent a wave of contentment through me, knowing that I was able to do that to him. I was pretty boneless myself, and drifted, satisfied to just lie in his arms with the whisper of his fingers stroking my skin…
“Ow! What—?”
He’d pinched me!
“Just wanted you to be sure.” He winked. “You’re not dreaming.”
I smiled before slipping off to sleep.
When next I awoke, the room was still dark, but the flicker of flames from the fireplace lit it enough for me to see we were still in the bed.
The black satin sheet was now pulled to my waist. Caelan’s deep breaths told me he was still sleeping, so I closed my eyes again, snuggling back into him.
The pain I had felt previously was noticeably absent – a temporary reprieve, perhaps, for I felt nothing but a pleasant glow inside, my mate bond bright and happy.
I remembered, then. It had erupted inside of me, just before I had fallen asleep.
That first time, when I was still in my own room.
I had drifted away thinking of him and all the love that I felt swelling in that bond.
Whatever Jesmina had put in that tonic clearly made the healing process that much faster.
How do you feel? His voice whispered across my consciousness.
I thought you were sleeping, I replied.
“Aye, but I’m awake now.” His eyes opened and he looked at me.
“Are you okay?” He appeared concerned, his eyes bouncing between mine, just as a familiar flutter danced across my stomach.
I looked down, and he did too, before a lascivious glint came to his eye.
He hauled me across his body before I had time to blink.
“Again, already?” But I felt him thickening beneath me and knew the answer.
“Aye, again,” he said. “This time, we aim for seven.”
I had no argument for that, so leant forward to capture his mouth with mine.
We made love – eight – and then we fucked – nine, ten – and then we made love some more – eleven, twelve, thirteen.
Caelan was insatiable, taking me on every surface, in every possible position, some I did not even know existed – seventeen.
We only stopped to retrieve the tea Jesmina left at the door, and then later the tray of food that was deposited there too.
We stayed locked away in his rooms for three solid days – twenty-three. The only sign of life outside our little bubble were the refreshments that continued to appear, but apart from that, no one disturbed us, and we gave them nary a thought.
Between the fiery, lust-fuelled bouts of passion, we found comfort in conversation.
We shared our most intimate thoughts. Our dreams. Our desires.
With each exchange, my admiration for him deepened, my love blossoming like a flower in bloom.
Amidst the laughter and shared dreams, I discovered the essence of the man I had come to adore.
My mate bond was so full, so happy, I felt sure that it shone from my eyes.
“I love you,” I said, in one of those quiet times. “I want to go through with the bond ceremony,” I added shyly. “If you will still have me, that is.”
His lips met mine in the gentlest of kisses, a soft caress that spoke of his affection.
“I love you too, little bird,” he whispered.
“And I will always want you. Until the day that I die and then some.” He pulled back to look me in the eye.
“Rowan, I’ve told you already. There is only you.
There will only ever be you. And I would be honoured to seal our bond. ”
My heart swelled, my emotions so intense they brought tears to my eyes. He kissed them away and held me tight.
We didn’t emerge for another full day – twenty-seven.
The flutters that told me I was still experiencing my Quickening had dissipated and the only insatiable need we felt was of our own accord.
We had fucked our way right through Hogmanay, and when we came downstairs it was to the dawn of a new day, a new year, and the soft scent of juniper still lingering in the air.
When we entered the dining room for breakfast, Aenan’s place setting was notably absent, as was the bond in my head. “Where’s Aenan?” I asked Jesmina.
“Milord left a few days ago. I’m not sure where to, but he took Orick with him.”
Oh. I had been excited to share our happy news with him. Caelan lightly squeezed my hand, and I gave him a small smile before turning to Jesmina.
“We have some news to share,” I said. “Caelan and I are getting bonded!”
“Oh! This is… oh! I can’t wait to tell everyone! Congratulations,” she cried before kissing me. She then kissed Caelan, smacking him full on the lips before running from the room, babbling about all she had to do.
I looked at Caelan, my lips curling, before bursting into giggles. He was just as amused by her antics as I was.
We had already decided on a date. One only a week away. Caelan assured me most of the preparations we had previously decided on had been completed during my absence and only needed to be rescheduled or restarted.
But when we awoke three days later and Aenan still hadn’t returned, I started to worry. “What if he doesn’t make it back in time?” I asked Caelan. “Should we delay?”
“I spoke with him last night,” he said reassuringly. “He was overjoyed to hear we were completing the ceremony and assured me he would return in plenty of time. I expect him home in the next couple of days. Rest easy, lass. He will be here.”
So, I did. I was soon so swept up in the preparations for the ceremony that I hardly had time to worry whether he would make it or not, instead trusting that Caelan would take care of everything should something go wrong.
Before I knew it, a tangible symbol of the upcoming celebration arrived with the delivery of my dress. Eager to try it on, fearing it would need altering due to the weight I had lost, Jesmina had secured the lock on my door and helped me to slip it over my head.
I turned to the mirror, desperate to see what it looked like and was so overcome with emotion I was left breathless.
The material shaped and moulded perfectly to my figure, until it fit beautifully.
Crafted from the most exquisite fabric imaginable, it was so sheer it appeared to have been spun from spider silk.
Yet when held to the light, it defied transparency.
It was a masterpiece of Mrs Balfrey’s artistry.
Delicate blossoms rose from the empire waist to the curve of my collarbones.
An illusion, as I could not see how they were attached.
They clung to my skin as if that was the only backing they needed.
The dress was sleeveless, save for a slender strap of lace draping over each shoulder, which transformed into a veil of silk that flowed gracefully behind me.
It boasted a deep V-back, while the skirt fell elegantly from my waist to the floor.
The floral embroidery continued down the length of the fabric, gossamer petals gently descending from above, giving the impression they were falling.
It was the softest hue of blush imaginable.
So light it bordered on white and complemented my skin tone flawlessly.
Jesmina couldn’t contain her tears, and her emotional response mirrored my own.
She wished for my mother’s presence, which only reminded me that Sarah would also not bear witness to the joyous occasion.
The absence of my aunt weighed heavily on my heart, and as I stood gazing at myself, I was filled with sadness that she couldn’t be there with me.
I shared that with Caelan, later that day.
“Can you take a picture?” he asked. “With your phone. Like the ones you showed me?”
“Yes, but what good will that do? I will still be here, and she will be there.” I was feeling particularly moody about it all.
He wrapped his arms around me. “You don’t know what may happen in the future, little bird. Maybe someone will come through or go back, and we can give the phone to them with instructions to deliver to your aunt. Take as many pictures as you can, just in case.”
His steadfast positivity lifted my spirits, and I promptly went on the hunt for my phone, determined to check the remaining battery.
Assyntian tradition, I had learnt, was for the bonded pair to remain apart for the two days preceding the ceremony, so I was sulking in my rooms, having not seen Caelan for the past twelve hours.
When I had enquired with Jesmina as to his current location, I had been surprised to learn that there was a cottage on the estate, and he had moved in there for the duration.
I could not even contact him through our bond, so suspected it was far enough away that he couldn’t hear me, or he was shielding for some reason.
I missed him.
However, it was while I was pacing in my rooms, lamenting the unfairness of it all, that a different bond was felt.
Aenan? Is that you?
Yes, little sister. I’ll be home soon.
I was so excited to hear him that I clean forgot he had to be at least three miles away and rushed to greet him at the door.
When he didn’t arrive straight away, I paced.
And paced and paced some more. Back and forth, back and forth, treading a path through the entrance hall to the dining room and then back again.
After what felt like an eternity, I heard a horse approaching and bolted back to the door.
He took one step inside the vestibule and I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tight. “You stink,” I said, grinning at him.
He hugged me back, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Nice. If that is the welcome I get, maybe I will rethink coming home next time.”
Squeezing an arm around his waist, I walked with him to the entrance hall. “Truly, I’m happy you are home.”
“I’m glad to be home, too,” he replied, wearily. It made me frown, but when he looked down at me, his face softened. “How are you? You seem much better than the last time I saw you.”
“I am well. Better than I was,” I answered. “And you? Where have you been?”
“Taking care of estate business,” he replied cryptically, and didn’t elaborate further. I decided not to press him for more, simply happy he was there.
“I have so much to catch you up on,” I said. “But I know you must be tired, so breakfast in the morning?” I gave him the excuse, knowing he would be too polite to say it himself.
“I would like that. Very much.” We reached the stairs, and he turned and placed a kiss on the top of my head. “Good night, Rowan.”
“Good night,” I whispered, watching him as he trudged upstairs. He seemed lost in his thoughts, and I frowned again, wondering what was going on. But he disappeared, heading towards the bathing room before I could ask him.
An undeniable air of disquiet lingered in the wake of his departure, but I shook it off and took myself to bed.