Chapter 51
Afterwards, they lay together, and, to make sure they didn’t get cold, Marc pulled a thick, velvety fleece blanket around them. That, and the warmth from the fire was enough to keep them cosy.
‘That was quite something,’ Marc said, kissing the top of Lauren’s head. ‘I’d forgotten just how lovely sex can be.’
‘You handled yourself like a pro,’ Lauren teased, propping herself up on one elbow to look at him.
Marc gave a low laugh. ‘Widowers aren’t all Jude Law in The Holiday, you know!’
Lauren leaned down and kissed him. ‘I’m glad to hear it. I don’t fancy sharing you.’ She deepened the kiss, and the warmth of Marc’s arms around her was intoxicating. Knowing that time alone with him was going to be difficult to achieve, she was determined to make the most of every second.
‘Just to be clear,’ he murmured between kisses, ‘because I know how much you appreciate clarity, it’s more sex with you that I want.’
Lauren giggled. ‘I understood that perfectly, thank you. But I appreciate the clarification.’ She rolled on top of him, straddling his waist. ‘Let me know when you’re good to go again – I’m also more than happy to have a second round.
’ She gasped as Marc pulled her closer, and buried his face in her neck, kissing and nibbling until she was a sighing mess on top of him.
‘I might need more than half an hour,’ he murmured into her ear, ‘but we do have all night, if you want to stay.’
Lauren stiffened momentarily and cursed as she realised Marc felt the movement.
‘What is it?’ Suddenly, he was all concern. ‘Did I say something wrong?’
Lauren shook her head. ‘No. Not at all.’ But she pulled away, so that she could see him more clearly.
Sitting up, she wrapped her half of the velvet blanket around herself.
‘This is going to sound weird, but I’ve never actually spent the night with anyone before.
The whole night, asleep, I mean.’ She gazed into the fire.
‘With Mum the way she is, I always felt like I should get back home, just in case she needed me. Especially in my early twenties, when she was just a couple of years past the accident – I’d see someone, and we’d have a great evening, but I always got myself home at the end of it.
I suppose it became a bit of a routine that I’ve found hard to break, over the years.
’ Her face felt hot; she’d never levelled with anyone about this before.
‘A lot of guys I was with couldn’t handle it – the fact that I had a responsibility for Mum.
This one fella, Connor, wanted to take me away on holiday to Crete for a week, but I turned him down. We finished soon after.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ Marc replied softly. ‘Connor sounds like a knob.’
Lauren gave a choked giggle. ‘He was.’
Marc pushed up on his elbows, so he was sitting next to her. The firelight was reflected in his eyes. ‘Do you think it was really your mum holding you back, or do you think it might have been something inside you?’
Lauren shook her head. ‘I don’t know. Mum’d be mortified if she ever thought it was caring for her that stopped me from spending time with a guy.
And maybe for the first few years, that’s what it was, but after that, when she got more independent, and started painting again, I think it was too tough a habit to break.
’ She turned towards Marc. ‘But it’s not like I’m the only one with responsibilities. You’ve got the boys, after all.’
Marc traced a fingertip over the crook of Lauren’s elbow and down into the palm of her hand.
‘Correct. And I love them with everything I’ve got.
But one thing I’ve learned over the years, especially since I lost Tessa, is that sometimes you have to do things just for you, things that make you happy.
There’s always a way, somehow. Maybe you should consider that. ’
‘It just never felt that simple,’ Lauren sighed. ‘And once I get into a pattern, it’s difficult to get myself out of it.’
‘I get that. Routines are comforting. I live my entire life by routine. The house move was the most terrifying thing I’ve done in years, because it marked a complete change in habits I’d built up over the past couple of years.
But breaking away from that, starting a new life here with the boys, was the best thing I could have done, for me and for them.
’ He chuckled. ‘Of course, now we’re establishing all new routines and habits, and when I go back to work in the new year, those will be even more embedded. But I like patterns.’
‘So where do we fit into that – you and me – I mean?’ Lauren ran a hand up Marc’s bare chest and rested it on his shoulder. He felt warm, and sexy, and very much not part of her patterns. But she was enjoying it.
Marc leaned forward and kissed her. ‘You’re the stochastic resonance in my quiet, predictable loop that’s amplifying the frequency of my life.’
‘Come again?’
‘Sorry.’ Marc laughed. ‘I think I’m already getting myself into the headspace for work again. I mean that you’ve disrupted my careful timeline, in the loveliest way, and suddenly I’m feeling things again.’ He shook his head. ‘Christ, that sounds fucking corny.’
‘Oh, I think I can do better.’ Lauren grinned. ‘You’re the gooseberry jam in the layers of my Victoria sponge – you bite down thinking you know what to expect, and then – zing! – you get hit with an unexpected but exciting flavour.’
‘Gooseberry jam, eh? Not Marmite and honey on a crumpet?’
‘Ugh. I think I prefer your – what was it – scholastic relevance?’
‘Not quite.’ Marc’s lips met hers again, sounding out each syllable of the phrase with a kiss.
‘Ah,’ Lauren murmured. ‘Can you say that again?’
He did. And by the time he’d reached the last kiss, they were entwined on the rug, and ready for a second round.
‘I love it when you talk nerdy,’ Lauren said.
‘That’s good, because there’ll be a lot more of that when I’m back at work.’ Marc ran a hand down over her breast, sweeping the curve of her waist and then up between her thighs. ‘And I love it when you talk baking. But I was only joking about the Marmite and honey.’
‘Glad to hear it.’ Lauren arched her back as Marc’s fingers found her most pleasurable centre. She didn’t need any more words after that, nerdy, baking or otherwise.