CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Was it the best orgasm of my life?
VANESSA
Last night was a first.
Not for me receiving oral but for coming so hard that I almost blacked out.
Did I make the best decision last night? Probably not. In the moment it seemed like the best option. I mean, who would turn down a gorgeous hockey player who tells you he would do anything —especially when he offers to go down on you all night and ask nothing in return?
I’ve never had a guy make me come so hard that I immediately fell asleep afterward, but after four orgasms, I think my body turned into liquid and I passed out once my head finally hit the pillow.
When I woke up this morning, my bed was empty, and my body was more relaxed than it has been in months.There’s just something about having an orgasm caused by another person that makes it more satisfying.My vibrator is great, and my dildo has satisfied me more than enough times, but Jake’s tongue mixed with his fingers just sent me over the edge and into oblivion. I think he may have ruined my vibrator for me and that annoys me to no end because I feel like that was his intention.
If he ruined Geralt for me, I might have to kill him.
I don’t know how to explain the events that transpired last night.I was happily enjoying my evening, reading a spicy romance and sipping on a bottle of wine that I convinced the lobby bartender to give me for free. Then Jake came down to the hot tub and everything changed from there.
At first I was reading a hockey romance, and the next thing I know, I was living it.
When he said he could go all night and I told him to prove it, but I didn’t think he was actually going to.
Was it the best orgasm of my life? Maybe. Possibly. Okay, fine, it definitely was.
Except there’s no way I’ll be telling Jake that because it will only make him cockier than he already is. I already let it slip last night that he lives up to his reputation, which I think telling him that turned him on even more. He never once asked for anything in return, so I feel a little guilty that last night was all about me.
Normally it takes a hell of a lot of begging for a guy to go down on a girl, but Jake was so willing to do that, it makes me wonder why the hell he would do it. I mean, for most guys if they go down on a girl, they expect something in return—a hand job or a blowjob.Surprisingly, Jake asked for nothing. He just kept going and didn’t mention wanting anything from me. Weird .
If it’s not sex he wants from me then what is it? Friends don’t just perform oral on one another. Is there something more that I’m missing? Is it right in front of me and I’m just an idiot for not seeing it?
No. This is Jake. Golden playboy of BCU. I’m probably just reading way too much into this whole situation.
Unless he wants something more out of this, which I highly doubt. But if that’s the case then I really do need to talk to him about this because I’m nowhere near ready to commit myself to anyone. I want to enjoy my single life and work on my photography. I don’t have time for relationships.
The second I see him we can straighten all of this out. Although, how do you greet someone who gave you the best orgasm of your life? Do I give him a kiss on the cheek? Give him a hug? Or is a handshake more appropriate?
God, I’m such an idiot.
All I need to do is have an adult conversation and tell him that this can never happen again. It was a one-time thing and I was just needy and hadn’t come from a man’s touch in months.A moment of weakness, if you will.
His hands did feel like magic. All rough and calloused from hockey. It’s almost like I can still feel a ghost touch lingering on my thighs, it causes goose bumps to rise all over my body.
Geez, I’m starting to sound like a teenage boy going through puberty.
The elevator dings, which brings me back to reality.
As the doors open to the lobby, I’m greeted by the entire team lounging around on the couches and chairs, waiting for the bus to pull up. Nate is chatting with Coach Wilson. Eli and Levi are both passed out on a couch while Kieran sits across from them with his sunglasses on. Yikes, someone must be a little hungover.
“And here I thought you might oversleep and miss the bus.” Jake’s leaning against the wall next to the elevators. How did I completely miss him when I got off?
I force a smile. Act normal . “Just had trouble getting up this morning, that’s all.”
Jake’s eyes lit up at my statement. Fuck my life . That’s going to go right to his head.
“I knew I was good, but damn. Good to know my tongue performed well last night.” He winks one of those gorgeous blue eyes at me.
Yup, just like I thought. Maybe my subconscious loves to boost his ego because that’s all I’ve been doing these past twenty-four hours.
My brain is in overload, and knowing myself, if I don’t talk to Jake before we get on the bus, then I’ll put it off forever. Procrastination is one of my toxic traits. I just have to set boundaries. We’re friends and what happened last night will never happen again. Even if my body is screaming at me right now to jump his bones.Maybe if I practice it enough in my head, my mouth will actually say the words out loud.
“So about last night—”
Coach Wilson’s voice cuts mine off. “Everyone drop your room keys off to the front desk if you haven’t already and let’s get a move on! I want to be back at campus before nightfall.”
It seems a little extreme to think we won’t be back until dark; I mean, it’s only eight in the morning. Are we expecting heavy traffic or a breakdown?
In an instant, everyone starts moving. Some follow Coach out the front doors while others head over to the reception desk. I fumble around, looking in my pockets for my room key. The only downside to my sweatpants is that they’re men’s and the pockets go so deep. I shouldn’t complain, most women’s clothes don’t have any pockets, or if they do, they barely fit my chapstick—hence why purses exist.
“I’ll meet you on the bus,” Jake calls out to me as he heads for the front doors.
I finally dig out the card, give it back to the receptionist, and follow the rest of the players out of the hotel.Outside of the lobby, the bus is pulled up to the front door and everyone lines up to stash their bags away before heading onto the bus.The air here is crisper than back in Boston. It feels fresher, maybe because Vermont is known as the Green Mountain state and Boston is always go go go .
This is my favorite time of the year. Watching the leaves change from green to various arrays of oranges, yellows, and reds. It’s also the best season because I love living in cozy sweaters and cardigans.
Speaking of sweaters, I need to grab mine out of my bag before I stow it under the bus and freeze the entire way home. I’m sure Jake is the type of person who would let me borrow his if I was shivering, but I’d rather just have my own. And who knows how Jake’s going to react after I talk to him.I’m hoping he’ll be fine with us never bringing up last night ever again. I mean, he’s notorious for going out with multiple girls and never settling down, so I can’t see why this would be an issue.
I find Jake at the back of the bus waiting to put his bag with everyone else’s luggage.
“Jake, can we talk for a sec?”
“Sure.” He tosses his bag into the undercarriage, and he leads me to the front of the bus, a little bit away from everyone else to give us privacy. “What’s up, Ness?”
The sun peeking through the clouds lightens his facial features. All of a sudden my brain goes blank staring at him. His chiseled jaw. His ocean blue eyes. The way he flicks his tongue out to wet his lips as he waits for me to talk.
Okay, Vanessa, it’s time to just rip off the Band-Aid.
“It’s about last night.”
A wide grin breaks across his face. “I get it, I was so good you came back for seconds. Although from what I recall from last night this would be what…your fifth helping?”
So damn cocky.
“Ha-ha.” I shove his arm lightly. “Actually…I was going to ask if we could pretend it didn’t happen and never bring it up again. Like, ever. I had a moment of weakness, and you were offering and I just—I took advantage of that whole situation. Can we just pretend it never happened, please?”
Jake’s lips stop smiling and he straightens himself as he nods.
My rambling doesn’t stop. “I just value our friendship and last night was a mistake and—”
Jake cuts me off before I can continue my word vomit. “No worries. It was just a friend helping out a friend.” He nods at me again then heads onto the bus without another word.
Okay, was that weird or am I just imagining things?
Maybe Jake is used to girls following him around like a puppy dog after they hook up, but that’s not me.I want to put this behind us and never think about it again. It was just a one-time fluke, and my brain can delete it from existence once I get home.I have an inkling that last night’s experience might linger longer than I want it to.
I wish I was back home sitting in the coffee shop with Sydney and Maddie, gossiping to them over lattes about this weekend. I could unload my brain on them while snacking on a warm croissant and listen to them freak out in between bites.
I toss my bag with the others and hop on the bus, hoping to find Jake in the back saving me a seat.
I’m a little bit relieved walking onto the bus as no one really pays any attention to me. I don’t know if I was expecting Jake to tell any of his teammates about what happened last night, but why am I feeling a little ashamed?
As my legs carry me down the aisle of the bus, I spot Jake sitting in an aisle seat near the back, head low while he scrolls on his phone. Instead of saving me a seat, he decided to sit next to Kieran, who’s currently passed out with his head against the window.I guess early mornings and Kieran don’t mix well together.
“I thought we were sitting together on the way home?” It wasn’t really discussed, more like I assumed we would be.
“Kieran and I normally sit together on roadies. Levi has a free seat, I’m sure he’d love for you to sit with him.” He pulls the hood of his sweater over his head and pops in his headphones—clearly signaling he doesn’t want to be bothered.
Okay then.
Levi is sitting a couple rows ahead of Jake, and I turn around to head to the middle of the bus.If Jake doesn’t want me to sit with him, maybe I can keep Levi company for the duration of the ride. Unlike the way here, I’m not mildly hungover or tired. I slept so well last night that I feel like I downed a triple shot of espresso.
“Is that seat taken?”
Levi looks up at me with his deep brown eyes that girls definitely swoon over. “Aren’t you sitting with Jake?”
The confused look on Levi’s face matches my own a few seconds ago when Jake turned me down. He looks over his shoulder and I follow his gaze back to Jake. His eyes meet mine, then quickly avert back to his phone, pretending like he wasn’t just looking at me and Levi.
“Guess not.” I shrug and Levi stands up so I can squeeze by.
I tuck my bag into the overhead compartment, grabbing the essentials—my headphones and my water bottle.I get situated in my seat, tucking my headphones into my pocket and putting my water bottle in the cup holder attached to the armrest.
Did I do something wrong to piss off Jake? Did I miss something important that made his mood do a complete one-eighty?
I wish Jake would just tell me what I did to put him in such a mood. Was it because I didn’t offer to do anything for him? ’Cause if that’s what all this is about, I’ll be having words with him.Could he be mad at me for what I said outside? No, there’s no way. He even said so himself that it was just a friend helping out a friend.
I let out a sigh, maybe too loud because it causes Levi to turn his attention on me.
“Okay, what’s wrong, Nichols?”
I don’t want to completely unload on Levi, I’ll leave that word vomit for Sydney and Maddie.So instead, I just ask, “Are men programmed to always be so aggravating?”
Levi lets out a soft laugh. “No, but that’s definitely Jake.” He looks over his shoulder to the back of the bus. “And Kieran. They’re both in moods this morning. My guess is they both struck out last night and their egos are a little bruised, so they’re taking it out on the world.”
I know for sure that’s not the case for either of them, but I keep that information to myself.
“Is this why you’re not sitting with him? Did you guys have a fight or something?”
If we had a fight, it was clearly one-sided, and I had no idea an argument was even taking place.
“No. I just…we…” I can’t find the words to explain to Levi what I’m feeling.
Levi looks at me, then behind me where Jake is sitting a few rows back. His eyes are like ping-pong balls going back and forth, until finally it clicks.
“No fucking way. Did you guys hook up last night?”
Ding ding ding, we have a winner!
“Why don’t you say it a little louder so the whole bus can hear?” I know that my cheeks are turning bright red, and I lean close to Levi to whisper so no one else can hear. “We didn’t hook up. Well…sort of.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know, a little past third base, but not technically a home run.”
My innuendo hits the mark, and I can tell the second Levi pieces it all together. He chuckles and pulls the hood up on his sweater. “Gotcha.”
Am I smart in trusting Levi with this information? He gives me warm and friendly vibes, but I can’t put my finger on why.
Levi senses my unease and takes this as an opportunity to change the subject. “Did you pick someone to do your portrait project on?”
I am an idiot. With all of my planning and my hectic schedule, I completely forgot about our assignment due this week for our class. I’ve been so focused on updating the team’s social platforms, that I put my other work on the back burner.
We’re supposed to do a few portrait photos showcasing humanity’s beauty. I was going to ask Sydney or Maddie if I could photograph them, but Maddie hates having her photo taken, and Sydney’s been so busy with her own assignments I haven’t had a chance to ask her.
“Not yet. I haven’t done much portrait photography, unless you count me taking photos of wildlife as portraits,” I confess. “What about you? Who’d you pick as your model?”
“My grandma.” He smiles. “She’s basically raised me since I was six so I asked her if I could take some photos for a class. She loves that I’m exploring more than just sports, so she’s always willing to help me out. I have the photos in the lab, so I can show you when we get back to campus if you want?”
Levi is a little bit of a savior because I was just going to wing it. Somehow I managed to go most of my academic career with very little portrait assignments.
“That would be lovely, thank you, Levi.”
“Any time.”
Levi and I spent the majority of the ride home talking about different photography styles and what got us into the hobby.
He told me that his dad is a sports photographer and was always traveling when he was younger, hence why his grandma mainly raised him. His mom passed away from cancer when he was five, so it’s been him and his grandma for most of his life.
Both of his parents had a passion for photography. His dad currently works for an NBA team on the East Coast, but his mom was all for portrait work. I think that’s where he gets his inspiration from.Portraits are great for photos of major life events like birthdays or holidays to preserve sweet little moments.
Once we got back to campus, I followed Levi to our print lab, completely ignoring Jake.If he’s mad at me then he can work that out himself.
Levi and I go through all of his prints, and I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as talented as him. Some people think that photography is just clicking a button on your camera, but it’s so much more than that. By looking at the photos that Levi took of his grandma, you can see every piece of life. The wrinkles in her forehead she’s collected over the years, a sunspot on her cheek from too much time gardening—it all tells a story. I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw Levi’s art hanging in a gallery one day.
After the lab I came home to an empty apartment. Maybe I was a little relieved to come home to silence. I feel like I need to de-stress from the weekend. I want to tell Sydney and Maddie about what happened last night, but I don’t want them to pester me with a million questions, which I know for certain that Sydney will.
I toss my overnight bag into the corner of my room. Normally I give myself a day to decompress and then the next day I’ll go through my clothes and do all of my laundry and boring chores. I turn on some music and take a seat at my desk, ready to go through this weekend’s material and put together a few posts for the team’s social media.Over the weekend our Instagram page gained over a hundred new followers, and my most recent post, which included a video of Jake smashing someone into the boards, has over fifty comments, most of which are girls drooling through their phone screens. Maybe one of those girls can cheer Jake up.
“Oh thank God, you’re finally home!” Maddie’s voice carries through my room.
A scream escapes my lips. “Jesus, you scared the crap out of me!”
I don’t know how I didn’t hear them come home. Normally Sydney flings her shoes off so hard they hit the wall behind our shoe rack, and that’s always my cue that she’s home.Maddie on the other hand is like a ghost. She’s so stealthy that we never hear her when she comes home.
Sydney jumps onto my bed and plops down, holding one of my pillows in her lap. “How was the weekend?”
I swivel around on my desk chair and prop my legs up on my bed. Maddie takes the spot on my bed next to Sydney—snuggling under one of my throw blankets.
“I assumed Nate would be texting your family group chat with game updates.”
“Obviously!” She rolls her eyes. “I meant how was your weekend. You have guilt written all over your face and we got zero text messages from you last night, so spill.”
I swear, Sydney’s brain has a built-in lie detector so you can’t get anything past her. Even if you think you might be able to tell her a little white lie, she’ll be all over you within minutes and you end up spilling more than intended.Which is exactly what’s going to happen.
Maddie leans up from her sitting position, putting her hands together like she’s praying. “Please tell me you finally got laid.”
Before I can stop myself from reacting, my eyes go wide, giving away my answer. This causes both Sydney and Maddie to jump up squealing with excitement.
“It’s not what you think.” As the words leave my mouth, they both stop jumping and plop back down on the mattress, acting as if I just burst their happy bubble.
“What do you mean?” Maddie’s eyes glare at me, begging to spill what occurred this weekend.
“Well, I didn’t necessarily have sex.” They both look at me, waiting for me to continue and save them from waiting any longer. “But a guy did go down on me. Multiple times.” I hide my face in my hands, waiting for them to say something.
Maddie speaks first. “Hey, at least your dry spell finally came to an end. And if it was multiple times then at least it must have been really good head.”
I lift my head from my hands and look at my two best friends. I look at Sydney for less than a second before she guesses exactly who I did the dirty with.
“Oh you little slut, it was Jake wasn’t it?” She says it so plainly.
“How could you have possibly guessed that? All I did was look at you!”
“Yes, but it was a very guilty look and you know I can read you like a book.” She smiles big, showing off her gorgeous straight teeth. “So are you guys dating? Or is this just a casual hookup? Are you guys gonna do it again? Please share all the details.”
I grit my teeth together. I want to scream into a pillow because I don’t know what the hell happened or how to explain it.It really did happen so fast.
“It was a one-time thing. I was hanging out in the hot tub, y’know drinking wine and reading. Then he joined me and we were talking. Shortly after I left, he showed up at my room. I was horny and he just…offered to take care of my problem.”
“You agreed it was a one-time thing or you told him?” Maddie asks.
Oh, I guess I never really considered his input on the situation, I just decided for the both of us that this was the best cause of action.
“Well, I said it first but he agreed.”
Sydney smacks her hand over her mouth before saying, “Oh my god, that makes so much sense now.”
Did I miss something?
“What makes sense?”
Sydney grabs her phone from her back pocket and shows me a text message on her screen. “Nate texted me earlier asking if he could come here to study. I guess Kieran and Jake are in a shitty mood and invited some girls over to cheer them up . You put Jake in a bad mood.”
“Well, I don’t know why it’s my fault he’s in a bad mood. If he’s being a dick because I didn’t offer to blow him last night then he can go fuck whomever he wants—it doesn’t bother me,” I lie.
“Maybe he’s not upset about that. Maybe he’s into you and you telling him you just want to be friends absolutely crushed his soul so much that he has to get into another girl’s pants to forget about you.” Maddie raises an eyebrow at me.
That’s definitely not it.
Or at least I hope that’s not the case. Because if Jake Shepherd does have feelings for me, I have no idea what I would do.