Chapter Eighteen
Claire missed her alarm on Tuesday morning and ended up sleeping in, something she hadn’t done in a long time. Of course, the reason for her tardiness throbbed in her brain like a headache just starting to take hold.
It was all the sex with Nick. She hadn’t exactly gotten a lot of sleep lately.
Which was great. She just hadn’t expected it to affect her work life.
As she hurried across the field, she straightened her T-shirt and fluffed her hair. Did she have dark circles under her eyes? She’d forgotten to check her reflection before leaving the house.
Look at you, primping for Nick.
She stumbled on a large rock in the field, but righted herself and stopped for a minute. “Okay, sister, slow down. There’s no need to rush.”
She might try to tell herself she was simply rushing to start her work day, but deep down she understood she was hurrying to see him.
The moment he was out of her presence, a void opened up. She still wasn’t sure if his absence was the sole reason for her sense of loneliness, but it cut deep.
Claire knew one thing for certain. When Nick was around, she was happier, giddy even.
“Listen,” she murmured to herself as she approached the sanctuary, “you don’t have time to obsess over your feelings for him. You have dozens of cats to feed.”
Stella would normally have come over on a Tuesday morning to do the feeding, but she had a doctor’s appointment and had told Claire she would be late.
Claire should have been up early to take over the feeding duties…
only she’d been too sleepy because a certain handyman had pushed her body to its limits last night. Then he’d done it again. And again.
In fact, Nick had made her come so hard that last time, she could almost still feel him inside her. How was that even possible? It was as if she had a case of ghost dick this morning. She could barely scrape the languorous smile off her face.
Claire entered Haven and headed to the B&B, indulging in a couple of quick daydreams of Nick.
When she heard his voice coming from the B&B, she stopped short. She opened the door a crack and looked in.
He was there alone, and appeared to be just finished up filling the food bowls. As he fed the cats, he took some time to pat each one on the head as he dropped off their bowls in their kennels.
“Good morning, Petal. Here’s your chow. You’re very welcome. Hey, Dukey. You’re looking good since I saw you last. Hi, Ginger. Are you hungry today? Of course you are. Okay, okay, keep your shirt on. I’ve got you covered. Marmalade, we meet again. How’s it going?”
There were dozens of cats and he had a quick message for each one. Claire hung back, watching his progress with interest and amusement.
Not a single cat scratched him or hissed. They recognized him as one of their own now. As for Nick, he moved among them with much more confidence.
Claire’s heart did a somersault. She was so pleased he could be around animals that had intimidated him not long ago. When she’d first learned of his fear, she’d had a feeling she could help him work through it.
Had he come looking for her this morning, and seen that the cats needed feeding?
He got to Mortimer’s kennel. “Mortimer, my man! How’s my buddy doing?” He unlatched the little door and replaced Mortimer’s old bowl with a fresh one, taking time to stroke him. “Yeah, I know the drill. You get treats every morning. Did you think I would let you down?”
Claire grinned as he fed Mortimer a few treats from his hand.
Considering that she was just having a physical relationship with the man, her heart was overly engaged.
That might be a problem.
Nick stayed with Mortimer for a couple of moments, gently scratching his back.
“Where’s your mom today? She’s normally here by now.
Yeah, I know. I could text her, but I don’t want to crowd her.
Hey, don’t look at me like that, Mortimer.
Claire and I have an agreement and I don’t want to overstep my bounds. ”
Mortimer let out a long meow.
“You’re not the first person to say so,” said Nick, still oblivious to Claire’s presence. “My dad said the same thing, said I should lay it all out and tell Claire how I feel.”
Claire froze. He’d spoken to his dad about her?
About his feelings.
That sounded serious.
She dreaded Nick revealing his feelings. It went against everything she had worked so hard to establish. Boundaries. They needed boundaries.
She needed boundaries.
And yet, to hear him admit he had feelings caused all her beloved barriers to vanish. In a way, she wanted him to tell her he cared for her, really cared for her, like she cared for him.
Don’t confuse sex for love.
Love, she scoffed silently. She was getting so far ahead of herself.
Would she recognize love the next time it came around? She wasn’t even sure what it would look like. Would it hit her with a wallop, knocking all the air out of her body, or would it cushion her with certainty and clarity?
With Arthur, it had been a wave and it had gently carried her away.
This thing with Nick…she couldn’t qualify it yet.
Then again, it was possible she was ignoring all the signals.
She was just getting swept up in the fantasy because Nick made her body feel so good. And she should probably interrupt his conversation with Mortimer before he got ahead of himself too. She opened the door farther, shuffling her feet so it appeared she had just arrived. “Hey, Nick!”
He spun around. “Claire. How long have you been there?”
She deflected his question, unwilling and unable to lie to him. Hopefully the heat in her cheeks didn’t reveal the truth. “Did you feed the cats for me? That’s so sweet.”
“I, uh, figured you were running behind. Did you sleep okay?”
“Yeah, just a bit too long. I was tired and I’ve had a lot on my mind. I hope you didn’t go to any trouble feeding the cats.”
“Nah, I’m a pro now.”
“Still, I don’t like giving other people my burdens.”
“Claire, it wasn’t a burden. And even if it was, I’d help you carry it. I’ve lifted a few loads in my time. My shoulders are strong.”
She squeezed her lips together so a sob wouldn’t escape. Why does he have to go and say something like that? Those words almost broke her will. It took everything in her not to fly into his arms, and say, ‘Yes! Make everything better. I need you.’
She couldn’t.
She wasn’t sure why she was so stubborn about bandaging up her own wounds. In part, she was worried that they wouldn’t heal unless she’d applied the tourniquet herself.
“So,” said Nick, tracing the line of her jaw, “are you too tired for another visit tonight?”
Say no. You need to start putting some distance between you. He has feelings, and you have no idea what’s going on in your head. “I’d love a visit tonight.”
Dammit! What is wrong with me?
“Great.” He leaned in and kissed her, teasing her mouth with his tongue. “You taste good.”
“So do you.”
He kissed her again, a soft peck on the neck this time. “I’ll see you later, beautiful.”
She couldn’t even form words and just hummed in response as he walked away.
Who was she kidding?
She had feelings too. Big feelings.
She’d probably had them all along.
And she was doing a piss poor job of ignoring them.
* * * *
During the Thursday lunch break, when everyone was occupied eating and chatting, Nick went looking for Claire. He found her in the reception area, where she’d been helping Michael’s team apply a new coat of ivory paint.
She hadn’t once asked for her old beige walls back, and he was relieved to see her contributing so much to the redesign of the space. In fact, she’d gone on a shopping trip with Lacey and had picked up some nice accessories to brighten up the large room.
“Hey,” he said, creeping up behind her. He grabbed her hand. “Come with me.”
“Ooh, what for? A little supply room action?”
“Not this time.”
Accustomed as he was to giving Lacey a heads up before doing any reveals, he wasn’t worried this time.
He really just wanted to show Claire his mystery project without cameras around.
He’d designed it with her in mind, had sweated over it for her, and he wanted the reveal to be between the two of them.
He had faith that she could put on an act for the cameras later, if Lacey needed her to relive the experience.
After all, he was fairly certain she’d been putting on an act for him for a while now, and she’d done it well. But lately, he’d seen her mask slipping.
Claire might like to think no emotions ran between them, but he’d glimpsed several flitting across her face lately. Of course, desire was always there. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Other emotions hid just below her surface.
Claire had begun their relationship as a woman who stifled her giggles, but she now greeted him with huge smiles and didn’t hold in her throaty laughter anymore.
When she’d begun her time with the Handymen crew, she’d been wary and skeptical.
Now, she seemed to be embracing the journey, happy to learn new things.
And when she shared those secret smiles with Nick, her gaze was full of something that looked suspiciously like hope.
He liked to think he gave her hope, because he felt it too.
They were on the verge of something. He still wasn’t sure how it would end, but he was beginning to have more faith that they could make it work.
He just needed to be patient for a little longer.
He steered her past where everyone was eating and led her to the back yard.
“Don’t tell me,” she said excitedly. “I finally get to see what you’ve been building?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ve kept you in the dark long enough. Just promise me you’ll act surprised in front of the cameras afterward.”
“You bet!”
Before they turned the corner into the back yard, Nick paused. “Before you see it, I just want you to know it doesn’t have to be a permanent structure. If you decide you don’t want one of these things in your back yard, it can come down easily enough.”
“Nick, I’m sure I’ll love it.”