Cassidy #3
I look down at Silas’s and my joined hands, wishing I could just accept their words at face value.
Wishing I could just trust them.
“I don’t think that’s how it works,” I say, still soft, but more unsure now. “I’ve… always been the omega. I’m one of the only ones in my family, and I know my role.”
Harlan opens his mouth to protest, I think, but Isaac shakes his head.
“What do you think your role will be, shortcake?” Isaac asks.
I pick at the loose thread on my skirt with my left hand.
“To manage the emotional needs of the pack. To make sure everyone is doing what they’re supposed to. To take care of the home. To… make sure everyone is happy and their needs are met.”
“And yours?” Isaac asks, his voice so gentle and kind that it makes me want to cry.
“Will be met if yours are.”
I don’t know who growls louder between Harlan and Evander, both alpha scents sharpening so fast I sniffle at upsetting them.
“I’ve been trying to do my best, even without fully knowing,” I whisper. “I keep thinking if I say the wrong thing or spend too much time with one of you or not enough with someone else…”
I blink rapidly.
“What happens if I hurt one of you…” My throat burns, my eyes stinging. “…then everyone else gets hurt, too.”
Nobody interrupts.
So, I keep going, even though my voice is shaky, and I feel like I’m going to be sick.
“I’m so scared.”
The admission barely exists above a whisper.
“So scared that I’m going to ruin this.”
I shake my head, looking at Isaac once more.
“Or that I won’t be enough.”
The tears finally spill over.
“Or that, one day, one of you is going to realise this is too complicated and leave because of me. I don’t even know how people manage one relationship.”
I wipe furiously at my face.
“How am I supposed to be enough for four?”
Someone hands me a tissue, and I take it gratefully, too blurry-eyed to know which of them reached for me first. My tears don’t stop, not really, but at least I have something else to use rather than my sleeve.
Silas’s thumb brushes once across my knuckles. “I think, little moon, that our pack is going to be very different from your family.”
I frown. “Why?”
“I’m not judging your family, little daisy, but expecting you to do all of that because you’re an omega is bullshit,” Evander snaps. “If Emme’s mates ever dared—”
“Calm,” Isaac says, touching two fingers briefly to Evander’s wrist, and Evander lets out a huff of air, his dark chocolate and coffee scent easing back without argument.
“Sorry, Cass. I’m not angry at you,” Evander says, a little calmer now.
Silas squeezes my hand, and I look up at him, unsurprised to find him already watching me. His voice is impossibly gentle when he speaks.
“You’ve misunderstood something,” he says softly. “You were never meant to carry this pack alone.”
The words don’t make sense.
I stare at him, waiting for the rest, waiting for the part that will finally click.
His gaze never leaves mine, his eyes lighting as his black tea and sweet fig scent thickens around us.
“You’re the reason this pack exists at all, little moon.”
Silas glances briefly towards the others, and Harlan sighs.
“Without you, there wouldn’t be a pack, Cassidy,” Harlan says. “That doesn’t mean you’re responsible for us. We’re a team—a family, a pack.”
“We’ll navigate this together,” Isaac continues. “Every fight, every hesitation, every… dirty dish.”
“Nope, I am backing out of that one,” Evander says, shaking his head. “I don’t wash the dishes. I can put them away. I can even dry them. But these hands do not need to be soaked.”
I giggle, half teary, but mostly calmer.
I’ve spent so long trying to make sure everyone else was okay. And yet, these guys—my scent matches—are telling me that I never should’ve had to.
That in this pack… I won’t.
I want to believe them.
I just don’t know how.
The first sob escapes before I can swallow it back. Embarrassment flashes through me, and I pull my hand back from Silas.
“I’m sorry,” I say quickly, trying to get a hold of myself.
A broken little whine leaves my throat as another wave of upset washes over me.
“No,” Isaac says immediately.
“Don’t apologise,” Evander says. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
Silas tugs me closer to him, wrapping his arm around my back like there is nowhere else he would rather have me, his scent folding over the worst of my embarrassment as Harlan passes me a fresh tissue.
For once, the tears don’t feel like failure. I sniffle, blowing my nose as quietly as I can.
“Sorry,” I mumble.
Four unimpressed expressions stare back at me.
I sigh. “Right. I’m not apologising.”
“Much better,” Isaac says, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
Silas reaches over, taking the used tissue from me before replacing it with the tissue box.
“Keep it,” he says simply. “Just in case.”
I laugh, and he presses a soft kiss to my temple.
“I’m not going to lie, the favouritism is quite obvious,” Harlan says, looking at my box of tissues.
“I never tried to hide it,” Silas says with a shrug. “I might even like Isaac more than I like you, Bro.”
Harlan growls, and Evander laughs, nudging Isaac with his knee in excitement.
“Are you not all worried about that?” I ask.
Isaac leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Worried about what, shortcake?”
“I still don’t…” I twist another clean tissue between my fingers. “I don’t actually know how to do this. How to balance four men, four relationships.”
“None of us know what we’re doing either, daisy, if that helps.”
I let out a humourless laugh, and Silas’s answering chest rumble is sweet.
“What Evander actually meant was that there are no guidelines, no rule book, and no structure to this,” Isaac says. “We’ll figure it out as we go along, and find what works for us.”
I blink in surprise. “Like… an experiment?”
Harlan smirks. “Ev’s an experiment. The rest of us are—”
“Okay, enough,” Silas says firmly. I’m surprised when Harlan closes his mouth, and Evander sits up taller.
Is Silas the… boss? Not Harlan? Not Isaac?
Not me?
That fills me with so much relief that I relax into Silas properly now, my scent softening against his.
“So…” I say slowly. “What happens now?”
Silas glances briefly at the others before answering, making sure they’re with him. “Now we stop making assumptions, and we follow your lead.”
I frown. “What does that mean?”
“It means,” he says, “if you want to spend time with one of us… you spend time with one of us.”
“And if you don’t want to?” Isaac adds. “You don’t.”
I look between them with a confused frown. “Just… like that?”
Evander smiles. “Just like that.”
“But what if someone feels left out?” I ask quietly.
“We’ll survive,” Harlan says simply. The certainty in his voice catches me off guard.
Is he certain it won’t hurt or certain he’ll be someone I don’t want to spend much time with?
“You don’t owe us equal time, Cassidy,” Harlan continues.
“Equal time doesn’t mean you’ll be meeting our needs anyway,” Evander says, and I stare at him in confusion. “Some of us are going to need more time than others. One of us might prefer being in your bed each night, others might not.
“Each of us has our own needs, and we’ll figure out how that works in practice for us all. No pressure, no need for calendars or schedules. It’ll work out, I promise.”
“How do you know that?” I ask.
He rubs the back of his neck. “Em’s been mated for a good while now, and I’ve picked up a thing or two from her mates.”
I tilt my head before shrugging. “My parents are always together. I don’t ever remember them doing date nights alone or sleeping separately.”
Isaac nods. “I get that. Mine was the opposite growing up. They were like passing ships, and nearly led to their mating being dissolved.”
I gasp. “I had no idea that could happen.”
“It’s not typical for omegas,” Harlan reassures me. “Betas don’t bond with other betas, so for them, it’s a lot easier to dissolve a pack if there is no alpha or omega to tie them together.”
I nod, but my mind is racing with that thought, my cooling tea forgotten on the coffee table.
“If you’re overwhelmed,” Silas says, “tell us.”
“I don’t like being difficult.”
“You aren’t,” Evander promises. “I take that mantle here.”
“Logically, I know that, but—”
“You aren’t,” Harlan repeats, gently but firmly.
The words stop me in my tracks, my breath catching around the protest I was ready to make.
“If you need a night to yourself,” Harlan says, “then you will take it.”
“If work gets too much,” Evander says, “we will adapt and make sure you’re supported.”
“If one of us says something stupid,” Isaac adds, glaring pointedly at the two alphas opposite him, “tell us.”
“I rarely say stupid things,” Harlan mutters.
Three people look at him with narrowed eyes.
I am one of them.
He sighs before smirking at me. “I say them with confidence.”
“That’s the spirit,” Evander says.
Another laugh bubbles out of me.
“I don’t think it’ll be easy,” I say quietly. “What if I panic?”
Isaac laughs softly. “I never imagined a situation where you did not panic.”
I wrinkle my nose. “That doesn’t sound very helpful.”
“It isn’t meant to,” he says. “It means you don’t have to hide it with us. We’re all there for you, as you are for us.”
“I think…” I hesitate before blurting it out anyway. “I’ve spent my whole life trying to become whatever people needed.”
The admission stings, even though I’m the one who said it.
“I don’t actually know who I am if I’m not doing that.”
Evander nods, his usual grin nowhere to be seen. “You don’t have to become someone else simply because we’re mates.”
“My hope, little moon, is that with enough time and love, you’ll realise that you can find the courage to explore who you are without being a mould for someone else’s needs,” Silas says.
Something inside me cracks.
I’ve spent my entire life trying to be perfect.
Showing everyone how adept I am at meeting their needs, how useful I am.
The perfect solution to everyone else’s problems.
My eyes sting again, and I let out a shaky breath.
“I’m scared,” I admit.