Cassidy
Something is wrong.
I don’t know what.
I don’t even know why.
But one second I’m tucked against Evander’s chest, warm and boneless, the world reduced to soft sheets, tangled limbs, and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath my ear.
The next…
My throat tightens, and my stomach twists sharply as another wave of sobs escapes me. Evander’s soft purrs do very little to soothe this panic away, but I cling to him anyway.
Now that we’re bonded, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.
I can feel his concern, understand his fear, and sink into his love.
“Oh,” I gasp, tightening my grip on his neck.
I’m probably cutting off his airway, but he doesn’t care, only purring harder against my cheek.
Evander gently pulls me from his chest, rolling us onto our sides until my head settles on the pillow beside his, before cuddling me in close.
“I’m here, love, I’m here,” he soothes, kissing my head over and over as I bury my face into his bare chest, the cotton duvet twisted around our legs while I soak him with my tears.
“I love you. You’re not alone. I’m here.” His voice is rough from everything we’ve just shared, softer than I’ve ever heard it, and somehow, that only makes my chest ache harder.
I can’t explain to him what’s wrong. Not when I don’t even understand it myself.
After everything we have just shared… after bonding with my soulmate… how can I be so broken?
The tears just keep coming, and yet, he doesn’t pull away. He doesn’t tell me I’m being ridiculous and I need to stop.
He just offers me comfort.
“Oh, sweetheart.”
His arms tighten around me, one hand sliding up my back while the other cups the back of my head, guiding my face into the crook of his neck.
“What happened?”
“I...” My voice catches, and I shake my head. “I don’t know.”
Panic crashes through me, this wave stronger than the last.
Something has to be wrong.
Why am I crying so pathetically?
My breath hitches as he presses another kiss to my hair.
Did I do something?
Did I hurt him?
Did I say something wrong?
The bond—oh, fuck.
He can feel all of this through the bond, can’t he? Feel how pathetic I am. How weak I am.
Fucking hell.
“Van, I’m so sorry,” I say, clutching onto him the best I can. “I’m so sorry.”
The words tumble out between gasping sobs.
Evander pulls back just enough to look at me, his eyebrows knitting together so fiercely I almost laugh despite everything.
“What are you sorry for, little daisy?”
“I don’t know.” I scrub uselessly at my cheeks, but the tears just won’t leave. “I just... I feel like...” Another sob catches me completely off guard. “I have no idea what’s wrong with me.”
His concern slams into me through the bond. It wraps around my panic like warm hands, somehow only making me cry harder.
Because he feels it.
He can feel me.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper miserably.
His forehead creases deeper. “Oh, love. There is nothing to apologise for.”
Another pathetic little sob escapes me, and I half giggle, looking at him through crazed eyes.
“I don’t know why I’m crying.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?” I ask incredulously.
“You don’t have to know.”
He brushes his thumb beneath one eye, catching another tear before it reaches my jaw. “We’ll figure it out together.”
“But—”
“Cass.” His voice is impossibly gentle. “Look at me.”
I do, even though I’m ashamed of myself. Those bright green eyes are completely focused on mine.
“I want you to copy my breathing, okay?” he asks, one broad hand settling against my ribs, encouraging each slow inhale. “Good girl. In, hold it, hold it, and out. Nice and slow. Good. Let’s do it again.”
As I follow his instructions, I cling to the calm radiating from him through our bond. No matter how chaotic everything is inside my mind, Evander’s a steady calm I can latch onto.
Something holding me steady, keeping me tempered.
I take a shaky breath.
Then another.
His scent wraps around me, dark chocolate and coffee and home, stronger than it’s ever been before.
Mine.
My mate.
My alpha.
Even with my eyes closed, I’d know him anywhere now.
The thought arrives so naturally that I smile at him hesitantly.
He’s mine.
And I’m his.
The completed bond hums beneath my skin, impossibly alive, and I never want it to stop.
Evander’s expression suddenly changes, his eyes widen, and I frown, attempting to pull away.
He doesn’t let me, one arm firm around my waist as I sniff miserably.
Evander lets out a breath of relief before a crooked smile tugs at one corner of his mouth. “I think I know what’s happened.”
I stare at him. “You do?”
“I’ve never actually had an omega before,” he admits with a sheepish huff, “so this took me a second.”
Despite myself, curiosity pushes through the panic. “What do you mean?”
“I think you’re crashing.”
My frown deepens. “Crashing from what?”
“The emotional high we’ve just shared.” He strokes my hair back from my face, running his thumbs over my soaked cheeks. “Omegas can sometimes have a bit of a drop after something like that. It’s normal. A combo of the adrenaline, hormones, and such.”
His smile softens. “It’s normal, baby.”
An omega-drop.
I blink. I’ve never, ever heard the term before, and I am an omega.
“So, I’ve just been crying because my hormones are throwing a tantrum that I’ve bonded with my soulmate?”
Evander’s smugness radiates through our bond, his scent thickening in the warm little cocoon we’ve made beneath the blankets.
“Fuck, I love you. Hearing that is everything,” he says brightly. “Fuck, you’re perfect.”
“Unless I’m sobbing all over you like an irrational mess,” I counter, sniffling again as my body begins to calm itself down.
He rolls his eyes. “Not even. I believe the scientific term is called being an omega.”
A startled laugh escapes me, half hiccuping, but it’s better than sobs.
“I love you.”
I close my eyes, breathing in his stronger scent. I take his hand, bringing it to my face and rubbing it across my cheek, instinctively scenting myself since he’s not doing it for me.
Evander laughs, tugging me closer, as he purrs once more. The natural heat from his body is soothing, as is the feel of him wrapped around me.
Another watery giggle bubbles free before I can stop it.
The panic is still there, but it’s loosened enough that I can breathe again.
“I’m really sorry, Van,” I mumble.
His fingers pause in my hair. “For what?”
“For being”—I gesture vaguely between us—“stupid I guess.”
His eyes narrow. “Oh, absolutely not.”
Before I can question him, a sharp flick is sent my way. I gasp, clutching my forehead, as I stare at him.
“Ow!”
“You do not,” he says sternly, though he’s already fighting a grin, “call my mate stupid.”
I gape at him. “You just flicked me.”
He nods. “I did.”
“I just had an emotional breakdown, and you flicked me.”
“I was there,” he says, smirking at me.
“You assaulted me,” I say with a pout.
“No. I corrected your poor self-talk. You’re lucky I didn’t flick you twice.”
My giggles burst out of me, and his answering chuckles are so unbearably fond that my heart squeezes.
“There she is,” he murmurs softly. “My perfect little mate.”
Heat blooms across my cheeks. I duck my head, and then we both freeze as the front door opens and closes in rapid succession.
“Hello?” Harlan’s voice echoes through the near-silent house. “Anyone home? I can smell you.”
“He can smell us?” I ask, panic lacing my tone and scent.
Evander smirks. “I doubt it. Harlan’s nose is very inferior, you know?”
I groan. “No, Van, I don’t know. But I am a little anxious.”
He nods, and the teasing energy has completely disappeared, his side of the bond completely focused.
He pulls himself apart from me, and I bite back the whine I nearly let loose.
I’m not going to be some pathetic omega who can’t even handle being a metre from her mate.
I won’t embarrass myself this way.
I barely have time to blink before Evander is climbing out of the bed, the cool air immediately replacing the warmth he’d wrapped around me.
The mattress shifts beneath me, taking his warmth with it, and a tiny, involuntary whine catches in my throat.
Oh, absolutely not.
Heat floods my cheeks, especially when he strolls butt naked across the sunlit bedroom and pulls the door open a little.
“Give us five, Harlan,” Van shouts. “Then come up.”
He shuts the door without waiting for a reply, and I have no idea how I’m meant to react.
At least, outside of that tiny little whine that finally escaped.
I clamp my mouth shut so hard my jaw aches. Evander glances over his shoulder. His grin is positively sinful.
“I heard that.”
“I didn’t make a noise,” I argue.
“You absolutely did.”
“I absolutely didn’t.”
His laugh fills the room, warm and bright, and something inside me settles again. “Little liar.”
“I refuse to acknowledge your accusations.” I sneer at him, but there’s no heat in it.
He snorts, pulling open one of the oak drawers beside the wardrobe and stealing a pair of charcoal boxers that definitely don’t belong to him. He pulls them on with ease, and I openly ogle him.
Well… I could hide it. But I really don’t want to.
They’re a little too long on his thighs. They’re likely Silas’s.
The thought makes me flush. I bury my face in my hands to stop him seeing.
“What’s got you hiding, little daisy?” he asks.
“Those aren’t yours,” I say through my hands.
Evander’s smugness is unable to be ignored. “Oh, I know. They’re Silas’s.”
“Please don’t tell him that.”
“Oh, I’m absolutely telling him that.” He winks at me. “I’ll be thanking him with as much enthusiasm as I can as well.”
“Evander.” I groan, burying my face again. “You’re the worst.”
“Some would argue I am the best,” he says with a shrug. “Give me a second, okay?”
I watch as he disappears into the softly lit en-suite, and I have no idea what he’s doing. I hear the tap running for a moment before he reappears in the doorway with a light blue washcloth.
He comes to the bed, kneeling in front of me, and I bite my lip, hesitating. His hands are impossibly gentle as he brushes my hair back from my face.