Chapter Eight
The morning sun spills through the windows of Ash’s bedroom, painting the cream-colored walls in bright yellow. I blink against the glare, my face buried in a soft pillow that smells like sandalwood. I shift my weight and immediately let out a sharp hiss.
Every muscle in my lower half sings with a dull, throbbing ache.
My thighs feel like they ran a marathon and my hole feels sensitive, tender in a way I’ve never experienced before.
I roll onto my back, pulling the tangled sheets up to my chest. Ash’s leg rests over my calves. The guy sleeps like a starfish.
He stirs at the sound of my movement, blinking his brown eyes open. His blonde hair sticks up in odd tufts.
“Morning,” Ash rasps. He props himself up on one elbow, rubbing a hand over his face. He trails a lazy path down my bare chest with his other hand. “How’re you feeling after last night?”
I swallow, taking stock of my body. The soreness lingers, but there’s a warm satisfaction beneath it. “I’m good. Definitely sore. But good.”
Ash grins, his fingers dipping below the sheet to scratch lightly at my hip. “Just a little sore? We might have to try harder next time.”
I huff a laugh, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks. “I think you guys tried plenty hard. I still don’t know how I walked to the bathroom to clean up.”
Ash chuckles. It’s crazy how normal this feels.
But there’s something tumbling around in my brain, a lingering image from the chaos of last night. “I have a question, actually.”
“Shoot,” Ash says, settling back against the headboard.
I sit up a little, pulling the sheet over my lap. “Not that I’m complaining … I just didn’t expect you to be the one, you know… receiving. From both of them.”
Ash tilts his head, a playful smile pulling at his mouth. “Ah. Yeah, I’m verse. Always have been. I like both sides of it. Taking it feels amazing, and giving it’s fun too.”
I nod, tracing a pattern on the duvet cover with my index finger. “Are they verse too?”
Ash shakes his head. “No. Ryker and Aiden are strict tops. Neither of them will bend on that rule.”
I digest this information. That means anytime I’m with Ryker or Aiden, I’m the bottom. They call the shots. They do the fucking. A little jolt of nervous energy zips down my spine. With Ash, it feels like a partnership. He guided me. With the other two, I have no idea what to expect.
I pick at the edge of the duvet. “So,” I say tentatively, “you’re obviously more than just roommates. Like … you’re all together?”
Ash grins, stretching his legs out under the sheets.
“It’s a bit hard to explain to someone who’s probably envisioning a normal relationship.
” He shifts closer, resting his head on his hand.
“We’ve just kind of always been a unit. Our families were close.
I’m a few years older than them, but Ryker and I moved in together when he first got the apartment just for the sake of having company.
When Aiden went out on his own, he followed suit.
The relationship just naturally came together. ”
I nod. Coming from a huge Mormon family where everything had strict rules, the idea of three guys just naturally falling into a shared life is wild. But watching them last night, seeing how easily they moved around each other, it makes sense.
“We’re poly,” Ash continues casually. “We share partners. Ryker and Aiden share me whenever they feel like it.”
“But you said they only top,” I point out.
“Exactly.” Ash sighs in mock-suffering. “Sometimes I don’t want to bottom either. Which is why we were looking for someone like you.”
I blink as the puzzle pieces snap together. “To fill the empty position.”
“The designated bottom, basically,” Ash agrees.
He reaches out, tracing a slow line down my chest, giving me a meaningful look.
“I’m not opposed to the idea of switching it up for you someday.
If you ever want to try topping me, we can talk about it.
But that’s not the role we need you to play.
And the other two expect you to be accepting of that place. ”
My place. The designated bottom. I chew on my lower lip, thinking it over.
Ash watches my face carefully. He reads people for a living, so I know I can’t hide the sudden tension pulling my shoulders taut.
“You should know,” Ash says, his voice dropping into a softer, more serious tone. “Tonight is Ryker’s night.”
My stomach does a free-fall. The air in the room suddenly feels thinner.
“Tonight?” I ask, my voice cracking a little.
“Yeah.” Ash slides closer, wrapping his hand around my bicep. His grip feels reassuring.
I look at Ash’s hand on my arm, then up to his eyes. “He terrifies me, Ash. He’s just, well, he’s a lot.”
“He’s a lot,” Ash agrees calmly. “I know he comes on strong. He’s intimidating. But he’s not as bad as you think.”
I scoff, unable to help myself.
Ash smiles softly, rubbing his thumb in a slow circle against my skin. “Ryker pushes hard, but he cares about giving pleasure just as much as any of us do. He wants you to enjoy it, Jax. He’s not going to just use you and throw you aside. He gets off on making you feel good.”
I chew on my bottom lip. “He looks at me like he wants to snap me in half.”
“He likes to test you,” Ash corrects. “He pushes boundaries to see how you respond. But you’re safe with him. I promise you, I wouldn’t let you be with someone who would actually hurt you. We have boundaries. He knows where the lines are.”
I let out a shaky breath, leaning into Ash’s touch. I want to believe him. If Ash says Ryker won’t hurt me, I have to trust it. But that doesn’t stop my heart from hammering at the thought of being alone with him.
“What if I mess up?” I mumble, feeling ridiculous and small.
“You can’t mess up,” Ash says. He leans in, pressing a soft kiss to my temple. “Just do what he tells you. Follow his lead. And remember your safe word if things get to be too much. But honestly? I think you might be surprised by what you end up liking.”
I turn my head to look at him. “What does that mean?”
Ash shrugs, a wicked glint sparking in his eyes. “Ryker’s demanding, but he rewards obedience. He knows how to unravel a person. If you stop fighting the nerves and just surrender to him, he’ll make you feel things you didn’t know you could feel.”
I swallow hard, my cock giving an interested twitch under the sheets. The memory of Ryker’s hand in my hair, the demanding thrust of his hips, flashes behind my eyes. I felt terrified then, but I was also turned on. Ash’s words only feed that confusing fire in my gut.
Ryker walks through the front door just after eight, dumping his keys on the entryway table with a metallic clatter.
I sit on the edge of the living room sofa, pretending to watch the game Aiden put on the television, but my stomach has been doing nervous tumbles for the last two hours.
Ryker doesn’t even bother taking off his jacket.
He catches my eye, his sharp gaze locking onto me, and he commands me to his room almost the second he crosses the threshold.
“Come here,” he orders, his gravelly voice leaving no room for argument.
There isn’t so much as a basic greeting before his hand clamps down on my shoulder.
His grip is firm, steering me away from the living room and down the hallway.
I stumble a little, my bare feet padding against the hardwood, my pulse kicking up.
He doesn’t say another word as he guides me past Ash’s room and shoves me gently through his own doorway.
The bedroom door shuts behind us with a solid click, sealing us inside.
The room is dim, lit only by a single bedside lamp casting long, moody shadows across the dark grey walls.
I swallow hard, my throat turning to sandpaper.
I’m alone with him now, locked in his space, and the reality of what I agreed to do is crashing down on my shoulders.
Ryker drops his jacket over the back of a chair and turns to face me, folding his tattooed arms across his chest. He leans back, resting his weight against the edge of a dark oak dresser. “Did you clean yourself out?”
“Yeah,” I croak, my voice sounding pathetic. I clear my throat and try again, forcing myself to look him in the eye. “Yes.”
“Are you ready?” he asks, his tone low, sliding over my skin.
I nod, unable to manage another verbal confirmation.
“Use your words, Jaxon,” he scolds softly.
“I’m ready,” I whisper.
“Strip.”
My hands shake as I reach for the hem of my t-shirt.
I pull it over my head and toss it blindly to the side, then fumble with the button of my jeans.
Every second feels stretched and agonizing.
Ryker stands there watching my clumsy efforts.
He doesn’t offer to help. He wants me to do this myself, wants me to undress under his scrutinizing gaze.
I push my pants and underwear down in one jerky motion, stepping out of them and kicking the pile away.
I stand bare in front of him, my cheeks burning with a furious blush.
I’m exposed, vulnerable, and the cool air of the bedroom raises goosebumps on my arms. His eyes do a slow, sweeping evaluation of my body, starting from my flushed face, down my chest, lingering on my stomach, and dropping to my cock.
I’m already half-hard just from his stare.
It’s humiliating but also thrilling in a way.
His lips twitch into an approving smirk, acknowledging my involuntary response to him.
He points a single finger at the floor between his feet. “Kneel.”
My knees hit the hardwood. I bow my head, my chin tucking toward my chest. My heart hammers against my ribs.
I hear the shift of his soles on the floorboards as he steps toward me.
He circles me, taking his time, his footsteps unhurried.
I feel the heat of his body as he passes behind my back, his gaze burning into my bare skin.