Chapter 1
Sex Metal Barbie [In This Moment]
Pandora Hart
I wake to the silent scream of a memory turned nightmare. As I sit upright on the bed, the sheet comes with me from all the sweat accumulating across my back. Slowly peeling it away like another layer of skin, I shuffle to the edge.
Fuck, I’m already exhausted, and the day has only just begun.
With a sigh, I rest my elbows on my knees. It’s that time of year…No wonder the nightmares are happening again.
I run my fingers through my hair. The damp moisture slips through my hairline as I drag them across the long, dark strands. Then, with a shake of my head, I try to remove the weird funk.
Afterwards, I get up and step to the dresser near the bed.
Empty of clothes. With a muttered curse, I pull out the steel combination box inside, then close the drawer and crouch by the pile of clothes.
I grab my day-old uniform and fresh underwear from the basket beside it before I enter the bathroom, bundle the clothes into a pile on the sink, and turn on the shower.
Water sprays sporadically from the showerhead, and the pipe in the wall gives off a rattling, chugging sound as if it’s about to burst.
I rinse off the grime, sweat, and dark nightmares of the past quickly, then step out of the shower. The towel soaks up the cool wetness from my pale skin, and then heat sweats out of my pores, tingling my skin with irritation. “Summer,” I say with loathing.
I dress in the academy uniform: a simple white button-up blouse, a black skirt, and shorts underneath.
I wear shorts because I have learned my lesson with the male students at the academy—especially air fucking elemny.
They will do whatever they want with their powers to ruffle the women wearing skirts.
And the last time fucking Kaden did that, I grabbed the dagger that reminds me of home, with a hilt as black as night and a blade as silver as the stairs, and rested it against his fucking dick. When I threatened to cut it off, his face drained of colour.
He also pissed himself.
Since then, he hasn’t spoken to me, and maybe that’s a good thing.
The persona I’m maintaining doesn’t allow me to make mistakes like that.
No matter how damned pissed off I am about some sleazy dick trying to flash a glimpse of my underwear, I need to hold my composure.
Another mistake like that in front of the wrong elemny and I am dead.
Tearing my thoughts away bitterly, I flick the latch on the box that holds my brown contact lenses before looking in the mirror.
I lean in and glare at the darkness I’ve grown accustomed to.
Pinching the contact lenses, I take them out and then rub away the irritation festering in my eyes.
When I open them, violet eyes, bloodshot from wearing contacts, glow in the dimly lit bathroom light.
I sometimes stare at myself and don’t recognise who I am.
The way I treated myself before hiding in Oceanview Harbour differs from how I present myself now.
Back then, I didn’t care about appearances, pretty dresses, or how I sounded.
I learned to blend in and remain unknown in the Kingdom of Crystal: invisible—a name no one would remember.
But here, I shape my brows, apply pink blush to my cheeks for a touch of colour, and wear foundation and mascara. I look presentable. Alluring. And to the men at the academy, my round brown eyes come across as innocent, which is whatever, I suppose.
I’m someone who has elemny desiring me on my knees, but as they think of me as innocent and sweet, I often contemplate whether I can slit their throat with no one noticing.
After inserting the new contact lenses, I close the box and leave the bathroom.
As I return the box to its rightful place, a light tapping comes from the front door.
Suspicion runs through me as I glare at the wood before my focus quickly darts to the pillow in the corner of my single bed. My dagger hides between the sheets.
“Pandora? Are you awake?”
My tense shoulders relax. I close the dresser, walk across my room and flick the latch on the door.
I peer out at Xavier leaning against the doorframe, his shadow draping over me as he blocks the view on the other side.
A beaming grin stretches across his face, turning my insides to jelly, and not in a good way.
“You didn’t wake when I was throwing rocks at your window this morning. Is everything okay?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and shake my head. “I didn’t sleep well—but I’ve had a shower, and I am ready to go now.”
Brown eyes glance into my apartment before settling back on me. Xavier rests against the doorframe as if he’s asserting some dominance by blocking the exit. “We can chill here for the day. We have a long trip ahead of us tomorrow.”
I bite my lower lip, drop my chin, and look up at him with doe eyes. “No, um…last time you stayed over, it caused complications with my neighbour.”
Xavier’s gaze hungrily devours my body, stripping away my clothes. He’s likely reminiscing about two weeks back, when he stayed over for the night, and I begrudgingly agreed.
And now I’m so close to my goal. Any antagonism can fuck me over, and I need that golden ticket to the Kingdom of Flesh. I can’t keep prolonging it, especially since I will awaken this year. What am I going to do then? I doubt another opportunity like this will come around.
I slide out of the room and then lean my back against the door until it closes. “Let’s go. I don’t want to be late.”
“That’s such a water elemny thing to say,” he laughs.
I giggle, my stomach cramping with pain as I struggle to force it. Yet, if I don’t and just stare at him like he’s an idiot, more questions will come. It’s easier to pretend.
As we make our way down the stairs, my stomach tenses when his fingers intertwine with mine. The heat radiating from his fiery body thickens the sweat in my palm, and this tingling sensation spreads like pins and needles.
My focus becomes fixed on the door, but as I reach for it, Xavier pulls me away. Genuine surprise shatters my feigned surprise, and it takes all the strength I can muster not to knee him in the dick when he grabs my hips to lure me against the wall in the main entrance.
“Xavier,” I say breathlessly instead of lashing out. It won’t help me get any closer to killing King Ragan if I do.
He presses his body against me, and my brow twitches at the lack thereof bulge grinding between my legs while he kisses me.
His tongue pries my mouth open to deepen it, flickering like a snake in its wetness.
And as he kisses me, he prevents my escape by keeping his hands on my hips.
The pressure of his fingers digging into my skin causes me to squirm.
Then, my entire body shuts down, and my movements match the same energy he brings to keep him happy. Yet in reality, I have the urge to cut his dick off and feed it to the fish in the harbour.
“Panda,” he moans my name, and I internally cringe at the stupid nickname. “I don’t think I can wait until I awaken to have sex with you.”
What a fucking line! Is this all men think of? Getting their damn dicks wet? Where the fuck did the romance go? Out the window, I fucking guess.
Someone clears their throat nearby. Breaking away from the kiss, I snap my head toward the noise.
My neighbour holds a slab of letters by the staircase.
She arches her brow and looks at us with utter disgust, and I can’t blame her.
I’m disgusted with myself. But unlike her outward expression, I have to bottle it up inside until Xavier is no longer of use.
“Shi—I’m so sorry,” I say.
The woman with greying silver hair and silver eyes (typical characteristics of air elementals) sneers at us.
We both straighten up and go to leave when the door swings open and a woman passes through.
The air elemny who enters wears a bright pink outfit.
She has her silver hair tied back, and there’s a curious glint in her silver eyes when she analyses me before she makes her way around and up the stairs.
My focus lingers on her longer than expected because I have never seen her in this apartment block before.
“Come on,” Xavier says as he lures me out of the apartment building and away from the watchful gaze of the neighbour.
She suspects me. There might come a time when I have to do whatever it takes to protect my identity, and as much as I don’t want to harm an innocent bystander, I need to weigh the chances if my life is at risk.
Xavier lets go of my hand when he talks about soccer on our way to the academy. I force a smile, swoon over him, and perk up in delight as if I am his number one fucking fan.
He reaches for my hand again after finishing his conversation. Before he grabs hold, I wipe my hands on my skirt to remove the sweat. Then, I take his hand, trying not to show how uncomfortable it is for me. However, I often hear that tethered elemny are different.
Kylie has mentioned a few times that whenever she touches an earth elemny, their skin feels rough—like stone.
But when she touches Sara (her tethered, unawakened earth elemny girlfriend), Kylie says it’s smooth and comforting.
Holding Xavier’s hand wouldn’t feel uncomfortable if we were tethered. I might even enjoy it.
“Are you excited to come with me to the Kingdom of Flesh?” Xavier asks to break the silence.
“Yes! I can’t wait to see you awaken!” I say, squeezing his hand and brimming with fake excitement. Sure, I am a little excited, but it’s not over his excitement. I can’t wait to sink my dagger into the side of King Ragan’s neck.
We stop at the traffic lights. Unclasping his grip on my hand, he pushes the button while I wipe the sweat from my palms on my skirt.
“I’m a little nervous,” he admits. “Awakening is a scary thing. My dad told me he engulfed the stadium in flames. What if I do the same? I don’t want you to get hurt, Panda.”
I grab his hand and lace my fingers with his.
“Don’t worry. Didn’t they put protective glass so the viewers don’t get hurt?
I’m sure I’ll be fine, Xav.” Besides, I won’t be there.
I have other plans to attend to, not that Xavier will know about them.
Guards who monitor the Awakening Amphitheatre take the awakening elemny away twelve hours before their transformation to avoid any unnecessary incidents.
If my plan goes off without a hitch, I may return when he awakens.
If not, I can come up with an excuse filled with sexual desires.
It’s disgusting, I know. But I will do anything to gain entry into the Kingdom of Flesh.
He smiles at me, unaware of my intent.
The red pedestrian light turns green shortly after, and we walk across the street. The academy isn’t far from home. I doubt we’ll be late at all.
I look to him. Xavier will look different after he awakens. His light brown hair will take on a shade of red or orange, and his brown eyes will swirl with hues of red or orange.
But that’s not all that will change. His elemny fire powers will be stronger. Instead of that feeling, he could produce flames if he had a match to ignite them. He could, if he wanted to, burn Eraminia to the ground.
Still, there are also the knights of Eraminia. Before he could set more than a city on fire, they would appear. I need to be cautious of them when I enter the Kingdom of Flesh.
“You turn twenty-one three months after my birthday, right?” Xavier asks.
I smile, but my eyes narrow for a moment while I wonder where he’s heading with this. “Yes,” I say.
“Perhaps we could organise a trip to the Kingdom of Storm. I know you say your parents are strict, but I can…I don’t know…book a motel for a few nights to witness your awakening.”
Ah, he’s sly, isn’t he? In thinking that, I should have known this conversation would be inevitable.
We’ve been dating for eight months (I think), and at a certain point in our relationship, Xavier asked me about my parents and why he hasn’t spoken to them yet, while I have had countless conversations with his.
I believed having “strict parents” was acceptable. Kylie has strict parents, and they don’t question her. But is it because no one has ever met mine?
“Uh…” I feign contemplation, biting my lip as if torn between acceptance and fear. “As long as my parents don’t see you.”
His smile widens, and his eyes shine with brimming lust.
We arrive at the academy ten minutes later. Sara and Kylie wait by the entrance.
Sara has long, silky brown hair, chestnut-brown eyes, and brown skin. She is shorter and more delicate compared to her girlfriend, who has shoulder-length blonde hair and blue eyes. Rather than wearing long dresses like her girlfriend, she opts for jeans and long tees.
“Shit, I forgot to tell you, Panda!” he says as if he just remembered something crucial he should have mentioned to me days ago. “Kylie and Sara are coming with us to my awakening.”
The surprise is evident on my face, but at least it’s surprise and not complete frustration. There’s no way he’s doing this to me now!
I stop and let the blush spread across my face. Yet it could also be the sweltering heat hitting my face like a furnace. “I thought that…”
“What’s wrong, Panda?” he says.
“Well,”—taking his hands in mine, I lean in, my lips brushing against his earlobe—“how are we going to, you know, if Sara and Kylie come with us?”
I'll leave it hanging. It doesn’t take Xavier long to grasp what I’m suggesting.
His face flushes a bashful red, and I know he’s imagining having sex with me.
It’s likely the only thing on his mind, and that’s the reaction I’m after as I plead with him to reconsider bringing Sara and Kylie.
They will be nothing but babysitters. How am I supposed to get close to the King with them nearby?
“Don’t worry.” Xavier kisses me. “I’ll ensure we have separate rooms.”
I am so fucking screwed.