Chapter 37 Besotted
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
BESOTTED
ADELINE
In the mad race to escape the metal birds, I lost all the herbs I gathered.
Like an idiot, I hadn’t realized the satchel was open.
The cut I got from their wings during our first encounter burns.
Together with the painful bruise and still-healing wound in my side and the scrapes from escaping various predators over this past couple of days, I’m ready to return to safety and rest.
I have nothing to show for today’s troubles and my push for independence.
Although that’s not entirely true, I realize, and I’m not talking about the calendula I found on our return road to the library. No, I think I’ve started to figure out how this world works and how I can bend it to my will, even if I don’t feel I've gotten any closer to figuring out its sickness.
If it is a sickness, after all, and not evolution, not a cycle of life. This world fascinates me way too much for the horrible hell that it is.
“It is hell.” Olm’s voice echoes inside my head. “You should have listened to me. Then you wouldn’t have been trapped in this place.”
“You didn’t know I’d be trapped,” I point out. “So this conversation is pointless.”
“You have to escape.”
“And you’re becoming repetitive and tedious. If I knew a way out of here, I’d have gone already.”
“Would you have?”
Reluctantly, I say, “In all honesty, I’m not sure. This enigma is calling my name. I want to fix this world.”
“So it has nothing to do with the library’s pretty guardian, huh?” Olm hisses. “Do you think me stupid?”
“… okay,” I admit, “so Roane may also be a reason.”
Ardruna laughs. “Roane is the reason for many things.”
She has insisted I should ride her all the way back, and I don’t argue. My body is exhausted, my mind racing. I bow low over her neck as she lopes with that easy animal grace through the meadows and the city.
“Did you know about the book Roane has in the nest? He said it’s his diary. It has to be his librarian’s log that every library guardian is obliged to keep.” I sigh. “I’d love to read it.”
“Good luck with that. I’ve never even seen him write in it.”
“And yet it’s almost full,” I whisper. “Strange. He must have written in it a lot before you came along.”
“Hold on,” she says and runs up a steep path.
“What happened to the stairs?” I gripe, grabbing fistfuls of her short fur.
“We’re taking a different route up.”
“What about Roane?” I muse, tightening my thighs, focused on not losing my seat. “When will he be back?”
“He’ll return when he’s ready. Usually he’s back by nightfall.”
“I’m sorry…” I swallow hard. “Sorry I disrupted your little family routine.”
“Never be sorry for things that aren’t your fault.”
That makes me smile. “Told you that you’re wise.”
“Yet, do you ever listen to me? No. You’re just like Roane. Stubborn as a horn-headed lizard.”
“And those lizards… do you get them here a lot?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe.” She clears the top of the path and we find ourselves on the rock shelf marked by the closed library doors.
I release her fur and carefully slide off her back, dropping to the ground. “Thank you for the ride.”
“So what are your plans now? You’ve been outside. Gathered weeds. Got attacked repeatedly. Changed…” She growls. “Changed those metal birds into something else. What next?”
“I want to solve this riddle.”
“Is that what we are to you? A problem to solve?”
“No. I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about the increasing numbers of monsters and the reason why Roane’s magic is failing.”
“It’s not failing,” she argues. “It’s just too many monsters to handle.”
“And why is that? Look, I want to read the journals of the previous guardians. Search for answers.”
“We could do that.”
I smile, even though I fight it. She said ‘we,’ and it makes me feel less alone. “Will you help me, then?”
“I’ve always liked answers,” she says. “I hate unanswered questions. Although again, in case you forgot… You need Roane to open the sanctum.”
Damn…
The huge library doors rise before us. Ardruna seems in no rush to enter, using her hind paw to scratch at an ear, and I study the broken statues flanking them. On closer inspection, they appear to depict twisted creatures, half-animal, half-human, like the dark fae.
“We still haven’t seen Talton,” I mutter. “Could he be in the library?” I snicker. “He may be reading.”
She barks a laugh as she lowers her leg. “Not a huge reader, no. Especially not of dangerous, magical books.”
“But he must have hobbies,” I go on. “He may be bird watching. Or monster watching. Or just thinking deep thoughts.”
“We all need our private moments. Just because he’s a bird…”
“I know,” I say, nodding. “He’s probably out there writing a new book. Probably his memoirs.”
She laughs. “I bet they’d be full of complaints about Roane and me. ‘They never listen to me,’ she pretends to squawk, ‘and never give me the good meat scraps for dinner!’”
I giggle. Then sober up. “He must be upset over the way Roane treated him.”
“We’ve been with Roane for a long time,” Ardruna says. “You learn to forgive and move on in a relationship.”
“But is that healthy? Shouldn’t you get together with Roane and talk?”
“You’ve seen how well that works with him,” she sighs.
“Yeah. He isn’t really into talking, is he?”
“Men.” Ardruna rolls her eyes. “What did you expect?”
I snicker and open my mouth to argue, but she’s right. Eiras never talks about himself, either, and as for Brogan… He never once spoke about his accident. Instead, he growled and yelled and was a pain in the ass for a long time.
Only, Roane didn’t go through a traumatic accident that landed him in bed. He’s not a cranky patient—or a mostly absent brother. So then why…?
“Watch out!” Ardruna jumps in front of me, growling, and I backtrack so fast I almost fall off the rock ledge to my death. “Take cover!”
A shadow falls over us. It’s a giant… ant? As large as the lioness, it rears up, going for her.
Myrmekes? I think. There was a tale of giant ants guarding treasures in the mountains and they were called myrmekes. What do I do? This can’t go on. I need to have a weapon to defend myself and others.
I could rename it. Simply call it something else and see if that works.
But Ardruna shoves the ant off, and after a long moment, it turns and trudges away, crawling over the edge I almost went over and vanishing from view.
“What in the hells?” I breathe, starting toward her. “Are you okay? Do you get these here often?”
“No, they rarely appear, but since you—”
“—arrived here, the monsters keep coming. Got it.”
“It’s the truth,” she says.
My heart is pounding so hard I feel sick. I scrub my hands over my eyes. “Let’s get inside before more of them arrive. How do you open these doors? Is there a trick?”
“You should learn how, in case one of us isn’t around to show you. I don’t agree with Roane’s treatment of you.”
“That’s news to me,” I murmur, lowering my hands.
“All I’m saying, I think he should be teaching you how to find your place in this world, just like he taught Talton and me.”
“You needed teaching?”
“It’s a magical world.”
I glance around, making sure no more monsters are lurking. “And you’re magical creatures. What am I missing?”
“The fact that this is his world? He rules it, controls it. Now pay attention.”
“Rules it? More like it rules him. Okay, sorry.” I lift my hands. “I am paying attention. Show me. Do I have to solve a riddle, as I did to open the library door?”
“Is that what you did?” Ardruna blows out a breath. “You could try it again, see if the door of the world opens.”
“That’s an idea,” I murmur.
“A good idea,” Olm enthuses. “We could go now!”
“Not now.”
“Why not?” he screeches.
A headache is hammering at the back of my eyeballs. “I need to see Roane. The books. Talton.”
“Excuses,” he scoffs. “You’re besotted with him.”
“Stop it. I’m not besotted.”
“Excuse me?” Ardruna turns to me. “I didn’t catch that.”
My face heats. “I was talking to Olm.”
“Besotted, huh?” Her lips pull back. “With Roane?”
“Forget it.” The heat spreads to my neck and ears. “Olm was only goading me. So... the door?”
“It’s not a complicated trick,” she says. “Only complicated enough to keep monsters out.”
“Better check nobody is looking, then.”
“Now you are the one goading me.”
“Is it working?” I wink.
“Yeah.” She rises on her hind legs and places her front paws on the door. “Now pay attention. You see the horned snake carved into the door? And this word, Ara.”
“Ara? That’s it? Do I have to speak the word out loud?”
“No, you push it.” She does so, a paw pressing on the word, and a creak sounds from inside.
A mechanism. Not magic. A clockwork mechanism which allows the double doors to slowly open inwardly.
Ara is an old word for a weaver. A weaver of anything, including tales. It’s also a word for ‘curse’ and ‘strife’ which gave war god Ares his name.
So fitting.
I follow Ardruna inside, pondering this. The horned snake is a symbol of the god Ares. He has many symbols. I already saw the birds, the egrets who turned into stymphalians, and then there is the axe, the horse, the shield, the spear, and the horned snake.
“Ares,” I whisper. “Sounds so much like Areon. Areon was named after Ares, wasn’t he?”
“You should ask—”
“Roane. Yeah.” I take a few steps toward the stairs, squinting in the dimness. “What is this place? Why is the actual library downstairs? What’s this part used for?”
“Decoy.” She halts, a white phantom in the dark. “It’s only the entrance hall. If against all odds anyone manages to break in, we barricade ourselves below. Block the staircase. Easier to defend. And there is a secret exit, through the cave with the lake that Roane likes so much.”
The cave might be another place to search for clues, perhaps.
“Has it happened before?” I ask. “Monsters breaking into the library, forcing you to barricade yourselves downstairs?”
“No, but Roane told us it happened to him once.”
“Before he met you.”
“That’s right. Now you’ve arrived safely home, I’ll go look for Talton.” She ambles back out the doors, leaving me inside. “And Roane. You eat and rest. Don’t go anywhere.”
“Yes, Mom. Hey, wait, can’t I go with you to—?” The doors swing closed with a clang and darkness envelops me. “Of course not. I thought you disagreed with Roane about keeping me locked up?”
My mistake.