Chapter 3 #2
Okay, so cross Ariel off the list. Paige was all for combating climate change, and she could even be convinced to have vegan meals once or twice a week. But this level of control was too extreme for her liking. She had to pull the plug on this one.
“Ariel, while I admire the cause, it’s just not going to work out for me,” Paige said. “I hope you can understand that I’m going to need to go in a different direction with the roommate search.”
She tried her best to look sympathetic and not as if she were talking to an insane person.
“Suit yourself.” Ariel shrugged her shoulders and looked only slightly annoyed by Paige’s statement. “I hope you can sleep at night knowing you’re destroying the world.”
And with that, Ariel got up and exited the café, leaving Paige dumbfounded at their exchange.
As soon as Ariel was out of sight, Paige picked up her phone to call Nadia. She could barely get through the story without laughing.
“Wow, you really dodged a bullet there,” said, joining in Paige’s laughter. “When is the next meetup?”
“Wren will be here in twenty minutes. But she seems totally normal, so I have a good feeling about it.”
The friends said a quick goodbye before Nadia went into a meeting and Paige checked her Facebook post for more comments before Wren arrived—just in case she wasn’t as normal as her messages led on.
There weren’t any other promising leads, so Paige crossed her fingers this next interview would go off without a hitch.
Just like she could smell Ariel before seeing her, Paige could hear Wren before looking up and seeing her standing at the door.
Well, she could hear Wren’s dog, that is.
Wren stood just inside the doorway in a matching Lululemon sweatsuit set, carrying a Louis Vuitton bag on one arm and holding a small poodle—who hadn’t stopped barking since she walked in—in the other.
She caught Paige’s eye and made her way toward the table.
“Paige?! I’m Wren! Soooo great to meet you, girl!”
“Wren, hi! And who is this?” Paige nodded at the poodle, who had thankfully quieted down now that Wren was seated.
“Oh, this is Noodles, my service dog,” Wren said with a wink.
As if on cue, Noodles began yapping at a man who walked past the table, then looked toward the door and barked at the two women who had just walked in. Some service dog, she thought.
Paige hadn’t really considered a roommate who might want to bring a pet with them. And as much as she loved dogs, Noodles wasn’t making a great first impression. She did her best to ignore him.
“So, Wren, you spent some time traveling?” Paige was eager to get to know more about her potential roommate. “What’s next for you?”
“Let me tell you, if you haven’t been to Europe, you have to go. I can’t even order a coffee at Starbucks anymore after being exposed to real coffee in Italy. And don’t even get me started on the croissants.”
It took everything in Paige’s power not to let out a snort at the way she used an exaggerated French accent on the last word.
“I bet,” Paige replied. “I have never be—”
Yap, yap, yap.
Noodles was at it again, this time staring down the toddler who sat two tables away.
“Oh, Noodles, will you just hush!” Wren said in a tone that didn’t seem to catch Noodles’ attention in the slightest. She set him down next to her feet out of eyeshot from the toddler.
“He’s just the cutest little thing, isn’t he?” Wren was clearly oblivious to the fact that her dog was annoying every other person in the room.
And then it happened.
The smell hit her nose first, then Paige could feel all eyes of the patrons at Starbucks staring at their table.
This can't be what I think it is, right? Paige thought to herself. She forced herself to look down.
Sure enough, right next to Paige’s foot was a fresh poop, courtesy of Noodles.
“Noodles! You are so naughty!” Again, Wren’s tone with Noodles had no sense of frustration or command.
“No matter how hard I try, he just can’t seem to get potty trained,” Wren said with almost a laugh in her voice, sealing her fate in the roommate interview.
Maybe Paige could have gotten past the annoying barking—after all, it couldn’t possibly be happening all day, right?—but she absolutely could not get on board with a dog who was going to relieve itself in her home.
Wren grabbed one of her poop bags, cleaned the mess, and handed Paige the leash.
“You don’t mind holding on to Noodles while I toss this, do you?
” She walked away before Paige could even answer, but instead of heading toward the door to the street, where there was a trash can conveniently next to the café, Wren headed straight to the trash can at the stand next to the counter with the napkins and sugar packets and threw the poop bag in.
It took everything in Paige to pick her jaw up from the floor. Was she being punked? Were there hidden cameras somewhere? Because this meeting was only going from bad to worse.
Thinking quickly, she stood up as soon as Wren got back to the table.
“Wren, I’m so sorry, I’m needed back at work for an emergency. I’m afraid I need to go!” Paige lied through her teeth. “It was great to meet you—and Noodles—and I’ll let you know about the room.”
Paige wasn’t necessarily afraid of confrontation, but she did not want to be associated with Wren and Noodles any longer than she needed to be.
“No problem, girl!” Wren replied, completely unfazed by the past five minutes. “We’ll look out for a text from you!” She finished her sentence with a wink, holding up Noodles and making a wave motion with his paw.
And with that, Paige hurried out of the Starbucks with secondhand embarrassment and no roommate prospects.