Chapter 18
CHAPTER 18
SHIVINA
I told myself I was being ridiculous. I had no business reacting to his voice like this when he was only asking about my sister. But I was in his… our… bedroom, and this was our wedding night, and I had craved this man’s touch from the first time I had set eyes on him. Of course, his deep baritone was going to play my body like a violin.
I cleared my throat and nodded.
“Yes, Sannata Mausi settled her in right away. I think she’s already asleep.”
“Do you think she’ll sleep better if you’re with her tonight?”
I froze at the possibility that he didn’t want me in his bedroom tonight. Ohmigod! Was I not supposed to be here? Did he expect us to stay in separate bedrooms? I could feel my face flushing with embarrassment.
“Do you want me to move in with her?” I squeaked.
“No! I mean… this is your room. Our room. I only wanted to make Zarna comfortable, considering how frightened she was earlier. You could ask Sannata to keep an eye on her tonight in case she gets nightmares about her ordeal at Kavya’s home.”
I blew out a slow, relieved breath as I analysed every word he’d said. He sounded as if he was concerned about Zarna. He wasn’t throwing me out of his bedroom before we even began our married life. Phew!
“I’ve already spoken to Sannata Mausi about it,” I said, feeling my knees go even weaker at this evidence of his kind heart.
In a world that worshipped alpha holes, His Highness’s kindness called to me like a beacon. He had shown me compassion and respect from the first time we met. That attracted me even more than his drop-dead good looks.
He said he wanted me to give him an heir, and that would involve… well, I couldn’t think too much about what that would involve without melting into a puddle at his feet. What I wanted to know was if he planned to start right away with the heir-begetting process. I wasn’t complaining. I just wanted to be prepared.
“Try and get some rest, Shivina. Tomorrow might be a busy day because we’re going to be inundated by nosy guests as soon as word of our marriage gets around,” he said. “And if anyone tries to put you down for any reason, don’t hold back. You have my permission to tell them off as severely as you like.”
My shoulders slumped in disappointment when I realised that he wanted me to go to bed. There would be no heir begetting today. Although I didn’t blame him. There was nothing bride-like about me. I was sure Kavya Baisa had packed a suitcase full of lingerie as part of her trousseau. Meanwhile, here I was in my usual nightwear, consisting of a shabby t-shirt and PJs. Ohmigod! There was a big hole in my tee just above my left breast. Talk about a mood killer.
I wanted to rush out and buy some decent nightwear right away, but I couldn’t afford to blow my money on such fripperies until I figured out my money situation. Was His Highness going to pay me a monthly salary if this was a business arrangement? I wished I’d had the presence of mind to fix an amount as the total payment for holding up my end of the bargain. These open-ended verbal agreements were totally unreliable. I mean, did he plan to pay me in instalments, or would I only get paid after I produced an heir? I wish I had asked Zarna to negotiate with him on my behalf.
“Shivina, your lips are turning purple,” exclaimed His Highness. “Breathe!”
With a loud gasp, I took in some air and realised that my inner monologue had gotten so out of control that I had stopped breathing in panic. His Highness stared at me in concern.
“Are you all right?”
I nodded in reply and gave him a wan smile.
“Goodnight, your Highness,” I said, getting under the covers.
He sighed heavily.
“My name is Ranvijay,” he muttered before he retreated to the bathroom. I did my best to fall asleep before he returned, but I was wide awake when I felt the bed dip as he got under the covers. His arm touched my back as he made himself comfortable, and we both froze. I pretended to be asleep, and he relaxed after a few minutes.
That was a close shave, I realised. It was all very well to decide we were going to have a baby together, but we had clearly not thought enough about what happened before that. How on earth was I supposed to have sex with a man I barely knew? There was nothing romantic about this!
I swore to stay awake all night to make sure not even an inch of my body touched his, but my eyelids felt very heavy, and I decided to rest them for a bit. When I opened them again, the moonlight was streaming through the big windows, and I was curled up in His Highness’s arms. Damn it! This was exactly the kind of situation I wanted to avoid.
My whole body went stiff with shock when I felt something hard poke me in the hip. I wondered if I could slide out from under the heavy arm that held me trapped against his side.
“I can literally feel you panicking right now,” he murmured in my ear.
His chest rumbled against mine when he spoke, and it set off a round of tremors in my lower abdomen. I pushed myself up and glared at him, but my curls fell across his face, hiding his face from view.
His Highness wound his fingers around my thick curls and tugged gently, sending tingles across my scalp. When I shivered in response, he ran his fingers gently along my neck, and I could feel my nipples tighten and bead against the fabric of my t-shirt. That’s when I realised that I had wound a leg over his hip in my sleep.
He raised his knee a little and settled it firmly against my crotch. I couldn’t help the involuntary movement of my hips that rocked my core against his knee a little. I could feel myself getting sopping wet, and I knew he could feel it, too.
I could feel His Highness’s watchful gaze on me and wondered what he was thinking. This should have felt strange because we were practically strangers, but it didn’t. It felt natural.
“Do you need time to get to know me first, Shivina?” he asked gently.
Every cell in my body urged me to say no because… well… because my body was on fire for him. I needed him. I craved him far too much to think about the consequences of what we were about to do. Unfortunately for me, His Highness took my silence to mean that I did need time to get to know him before I jumped into his arms.
With a sigh, he moved his knee away from my core, and I almost cried because I was so close to the edge. One more stroke and I would have come. But nothing had gone my way since I woke up yesterday morning, so why would it be any different today? And now that the haze of lust enveloping me had receded a little, I had to admit he was right. Damn him!
He pushed my leg off his hip gently, his fingers trailing paths of fire wherever he touched me.
“It might be better if I slept on the sofa in the sitting room,” he murmured.
“How exactly are we supposed to get to know each other better if we don’t spend time together?” I blurted out before I could stop myself.
It was true. In the short time that we had been downstairs today, I could feel everyone’s eyes on us, as if they were watching our every move. And I knew it was only going to get worse, which was natural. His Highness had married a complete stranger. His family and friends were bound to be curious about me. And they were also going to be curious about… us. As a couple.
I felt a wave of heat rush over me at the idea of being half of a couple when the other half was this magnificent man. This was beyond my wildest dreams, and I needed time to come to terms with the fact that, temporary though it might be, I was married to a Maharaja. I was a Maharani. Fuck!
I rolled over out of his arms as if stung and buried my head in my pillow as I tried not to hyperventilate.
“What’s wrong?” asked His Highness worriedly.
“I can’t do this,” I said softly, panting into the pillow.
“That’s why we’re taking it slow, Shivina,” he replied. “I’m not touching you until you’re comfortable with the idea of making love to me.”
I turned around and glared at him.
“Umm, considering the way I was plastered against you not two minutes ago, I don’t know how much comfortable I can get, Your Highness. But I don’t mean that. I’m sorry, but I just don’t think I can be your Maharani. I don’t know what I was thinking,” I said, sitting up and grabbing my scrunchie off the bedside table before I rolled my hair up into an untidy bun.
“What do you mean?” asked His Highness, sounding slightly distracted.
He was propped up against the headboard, his arms crossed over his distractingly muscular chest, and he was staring fixedly at my bun.
There was not an ounce of fat on this man, I realised as my eyes dipped from his chest to his flat abdomen. It was so unfair! In comparison, I felt so fat! I pulled the covers over myself immediately.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing! I just don’t think I’m the kind of woman you’d usually go for, Your Highness,” I said bitterly.
“What? Why not?”
He sounded confused, which would have been funny if I wasn’t feeling miserable.
“Because you’re… well, you’re you… a supremely attractive billionaire royal,” I said, waving a hand in his direction. “And I’m… I’m just a fat little commoner. I don’t deserve to be a Maharani.”
“Stop that,” he said sharply.
He ran a hand over his face wearily and groaned.
“There is so much to unpack in that statement, but I’m going to try. First of all, you will never call yourself fat. Is that clear?”
I sniffed in response because it was easy for him to say that. He wasn’t the one who needed to lose ten kilos.
“Is that clear?” he repeated sternly.
I nodded once without looking at him.
“And secondly, my title is just that. A meaningless relic of the past. It only means that my ancestors were privileged in a country full of unprivileged people by an accident of birth. That isn’t something to be proud of. If it were, India would have held on to our kings and princely states. But we were booted out as soon as our country became independent, and now everyone is equal. Shivina, over the next few days, you’re going to meet a lot of people who will try and make you feel like the dirt beneath their shoes because you had the audacity to trick a Maharaja into marriage. The only way you can fight them is to remember that they are no better than you. Being wealthy does not make someone better or more important. Find a way to drill that into your brain, or you’ll struggle to survive in our ruthless world.”
Huh. That was a new perspective. But it did nothing to boost my self-esteem as far as my body was concerned. Thankfully, His Highness wasn’t done.
“And that body is not fat. That body is gloriously curvy. That is the body of a sex goddess,” he said, waving a hand over my body just like I’d done to his.
I rolled my eyes so hard I was sure they’d get stuck to the back of my head.
“Stop it,” I muttered.
“You started it!” he muttered back, just as my hair came crashing down from its bun.
“Now look what you’ve done,” I cried as I grabbed it and started over on the bun.
“What did I do?” he yelped.
“You stared at my hair, and now it refuses to stay put,” I said, knowing I sounded like an irrational two-year-old.
“How can I not stare? It’s glorious,” he breathed.
The scrunchie slipped out of my fingers and rolled to the floor. I wanted to scramble after it, but I couldn’t move because his burning gaze pinned me in place. That’s when it hit me. This man, who was so out of my league, wanted me. Me!
He wanted me as much as I wanted him.