Chapter 14
CHAPTER 14
VEER
I had known Isha for most of her life, and yet, I’d had no idea that she’d been battling an eating disorder. I couldn’t even begin to fathom the kind of trauma that would trigger such a condition, and it made me sick to know that Isha had gone through so much pain in her life.
I didn’t know how to help someone fight an eating disorder, but I swore to learn. I would read up on the subject and speak to Isha’s doctor for a better understanding. I could see that talking about it made her very uneasy, and harping on the subject wasn’t likely to make the damn paratha more appealing.
So I plucked it off her plate and set it on mine. Immediately, she began to breathe more easily, and I wondered if it made her physically sick. She was looking quite embarrassed now, so I made an effort to change the subject.
“Ma, we’re off to visit Diya in the hospital. Do you want to send her anything?”
“No, beta. I’ll visit her later in the day,” said Ma absently. “Now, about the wedding clothes…”
Isha moved restlessly in her chair as soon as Ma raised the topic, which told me how she felt about the issue.
“Why don’t we leave that to the bride?” I asked pleasantly.
My mother pursed her lips and went silent. I knew she’d nag me about it later, but the sooner she learned that I wouldn’t let her bully Isha the way she bullied Diya, the happier we’d all be. Isha’s mother beamed at me and served me another paratha.
“I was thinking of something vintage from the stuff in the attic,” said Isha.
“Beta, what is this obsession you and Diya have with old clothes?” grumbled Ma. “My daughter wore hand-me-downs to her wedding, and now it looks as if my daughter-in-law will do the same. I had such hopes for Veer’s wedding. I was planning to take his bride to my own couturiers and have a bespoke outfit made especially for her. The Jadhwals always have been trendsetters, Isha. And while Diya can look good even in rags…”
“Don’t even think of completing that sentence, Ma,” I said harshly. “Not if you want to be part of this wedding, or our life afterwards.”
Nandini Aunty and Isha’s mother looked upset and I didn’t blame them. But my main concern was for Isha. I was beginning to understand why she had such a twisted view of herself. I looked at her in concern and was worried to see that she’d withdrawn into her shell again. She looked as if she was far away even if she was sitting right next to me.
“I only meant that…” began my mother.
Isha stirred in her seat and looked at my mother coldly.
“I know what you meant, Aunty,” she said slowly. “I also know that I’m not the kind of woman you would have picked for your son. But I am what you’re getting, whether you like it or not. And it has taken me years to learn that my value is not based on my looks. It doesn’t matter if I don’t meet your or society’s beauty standards. I am what I am, and I am valuable. I won’t let you take that away from me.”
“Haye, haye, Didi Sa! I’m sorry to say your daughter is very rude,” said my mother angrily.
“She’s not being rude. You are,” snapped Nandini Aunty. “Isha hasn’t even entered your house yet, and you’re already putting her down. Do better, Raji!”
My mother stood up and threw her napkin on the table.
“Veer, I’d like a word with you, please,” she said icily and strode away from the table.
Isha’s mother looked worried.
“Beta, you should apologise,” she told her daughter.
“No,” I said sharply before Isha could reply. “Isha has done nothing wrong, Aunty. If anyone should apologise, it is my mother. In fact, I apologise on her behalf. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to speak to her.”
I squeezed Isha’s shoulder gently and left the table.
Ma was waiting for me in the hall.
“Pack your bags,” she said as soon as she saw me. “We’re leaving. I’ll find you a more beautiful and gharelu bride to impress Chandel Sahab. Who the hell do these Trikheras think they are? As if we don’t know the ugly truth behind their pretty facades! All said and done, she’s the daughter of a criminal, Veer. Blood will tell.”
I stared at her thoughtfully.
“Ma, at what point in my life did I ever give you the impression that I was under your thumb?”
“Hain?” she asked, nonplussed.
“I’ve always done things my own way. I’ve lived life on my own terms for years. So why would it be any different when I get married? I will marry the woman of my choice even if you don’t like her. And if you ever speak to her the way you just did, you will never see me again,” I warned her.
“What jaadu has she done on you? She’s taking you away from your family, beta. That is not healthy. If she cared for you, she wouldn’t isolate you like this,” complained Ma.
“She’s not the one isolating me, Ma. You are. Isha’s isn’t taking me away from all of you. You’re driving me away by refusing to treat my fiancée with respect. And that’s a choice you’re making. I know Baba and Diya would never treat Isha like that, so they won’t lose me. But you will. And all because you’d rather bully her than treat her with the respect she deserves. Think about it,” I said, walking away from her.
I knew my mother. She would sulk for a bit, but when she realised that she wasn’t getting her way, she’d come around. Her relationship with Isha would always be contentious, but as long as she didn’t disrespect her openly, I’d allow her to be a part of our lives.
When I walked back to the dining room, I saw Isha standing by the door. She had heard everything.
“Eavesdropping?” I teased gently.
“Yes,” she admitted. “You shouldn’t have said that to her, Veer. I don’t want to come between you and your mother.”
“You’re not. She is. You’re not responsible for my mother’s behaviour, Isha. We all have to face the consequences of our actions.”
She shrugged lightly.
“Well, it’s only for a year. Although I bet she’ll keep reminding you for the rest of your life that she always knew the daughter of Mayur Trikhera was a bad choice for the illustrious Jadhwal family.”
I wanted to tell her that she wasn’t getting rid of me so easily, but I knew there was no point in wasting my words. She’d find out soon enough.
I didn’t know why it irritated me to hear her talk about the expiry date of our marriage. I hadn’t wanted to get married in the first place. But the idea of marrying Isha filled me with a strange peace when it should have frightened me. I had never thought I’d ever have a shot at a relationship with her. Dheer ’s betrayal of Diya always stood between us like a giant wall I could never surmount. But now that wall was gone. The main reason for my animosity towards Isha was gone.
And now that I didn’t have to force myself to hate her and her family, I found a very different emotion lurking under the hate. It was something that drew me to her again and again over the past nine years. It was the emotion that didn’t allow me to have a serious relationship with any other woman because no one could ever match up to Isha. It was the emotion that kept me obsessed with her when I knew I had no chance of being with her.
I didn’t want to examine it too closely or even give it a name because it was terrifying. Right now, I was barely able to acknowledge that I was allowed to speak to her without snarling. That I was allowed to lose myself in her big brown eyes without feeling guilty.
So I forced myself to ignore the gauntlet she’d just thrown down and gesture towards the door.
“Diya’s waiting to meet us. I’ll be in the car.”
She nodded and headed upstairs to get ready.
When we set off for the hospital, I noticed that Isha was carrying a couple of snack boxes with her.
“What’s that?” I asked curiously.
“My breakfast. An omelette sandwich and some cut fruit,” she replied, but I noticed she did not attempt to open the boxes.
I wanted to remind her to eat it, but I didn’t want to make a big deal of the fact that she hadn’t eaten anything yet because I didn’t want her to associate food with nagging. Isha was an adult. I had to trust that she’d eat when she felt hungry.
So I pulled out my phone and began to check my emails. Sure enough, a few minutes later, she opened one of her snack boxes and began to eat. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed with pleasure that she had eaten all the fruit it contained.
“It doesn’t happen all the time,” she said softly. “Just sometimes when I’m very stressed, I find it difficult to eat because there are all these negative thoughts associated with food. I’m working on it, though.”
“Do you mind talking about it?”
“I don’t enjoy it, but talking about it takes away the stigma around eating disorders, so ask what you want.”
“When did it first start?”
Isha shrugged in reply.
“I’ve always been on some sort of diet, as far as I can remember. Dadi Sa had all sorts of restrictions on my food because she was determined to make me fit into the mould of a typical princess. I had to be weighed every Monday morning, and my weight decided the diet for the week. If I was heavier on a Monday, she’d practically starve me all week, and when the scale showed a considerable loss, I’d binge on food and gain it all back again. The yo-yo dieting almost destroyed my body,” she said bitterly.
I tamped down on the fury that swept through me at the thought of a little girl being tortured like that.
“Why didn’t your parents put a stop to it?”
“Ma did her best but she was too weak to fight the combined might of Baba and Dadi Sa, who were both very critical of my weight.”
I turned to her in confusion.
“Isha, I’ve known you for most of your life, and I can honestly say that you’ve never been obese. So what were they so critical about?”
“It’s not about being obese, Veer. They wanted me to be skinny, while I was always at least ten to fifteen kilos over that. And more than that, it was about control. They wanted to control every aspect of my life, even to the point of controlling every morsel of food that went into my mouth. I think it made them furious to hear me voice an opinion of my own. They wanted Ma and me to be like the furniture. Ornamental, but essentially lifeless. Baba and Dadi Sa felt like they were the main characters in their world, which meant that the side characters like Ma and I weren’t supposed to have a voice. We were allowed to exist, but only in the dark corners of their world, and we had to be grateful for whatever existence they allowed us.”
I wished I could go back in time and pound the life out of her father for treating her so badly. As for her grandmother, I hoped there was a very special place awaiting her in hell.
“I can’t change the past, Isha. But I can do my best to make sure no one ever treats you like that again,” I swore.
She shook her head and snorted in derision.
“That’s not possible unless I lock myself in a cage for the rest of my life. People are always going to make comments about me, Veer. It comes with the territory. People have certain expectations from a fabulously wealthy princess, and I don’t meet those expectations, which makes me a soft target for criticism and trolling. But that’s not on me. It’s on them. And since I’m learning to fight my own battles, I can tell them so myself, thank you very much. I don’t need you or anyone else to fight my battles for me.”
“I’m sure you don’t because you’re a warrior princess,” I said, with a crooked smile. “You don’t need anyone as long as you have Basanti by your side.”
She could say what she liked, but I was going to fight her battles with her, like a malevolent shadow who decimated the enemies that got too close to my princess.
“Stop worrying about me, and work on your saviour complex,” she said drily.
“I don’t have a saviour complex,” I said, rolling my eyes at her feeble attempt to change the subject.
“Pfft! You’re sacrificing your freedom just to save your people. What is that if not a misplaced saviour complex?”
“You make my very heroic act sound weird,” I complained. “I’ll be crying all the way to Vidhan Bhavan.”
“Such a Laajwanti,” she scoffed, reaching for her omelette sandwich.
“What does that even mean?”
“You, alright? It means you!”
We bickered until we reached the hospital, and by the time we pulled up in the guest parking lot, I was pleased to notice that Isha had finished her full breakfast. It wasn’t my personal victory, but for some reason, it gave me just as much joy.
I was smiling when we entered Diya’s room.
“Wipe that smirk off your face,” she snarled in welcome.
“What’s bitten you?” I asked in surprise.
“Why are you going ahead with this damn fool idea? I know Isha is an idiot, but I expected better from you,” she scolded.
“Hey!” cried Isha. “I’m not an idiot!”
“Yes, you are! You’re so obsessed with a pile of bricks that you’re willing to sacrifice your future for it.”
“Wow! Way to make me feel special, Diya!” I commented.
“And Gulab Mahal might be a pile of bricks for you,” argued Isha. “But all my hopes and dreams are tied to that house. Just like Veer’s hopes and dreams are tied to his people. So stop being little Miss Judgy and stay out of our business.”
Diya’s gaze softened as she stared searchingly at Isha.
“Ish, I just want you to be happy. And I don’t think you can be very happy with… him .”