Twenty-One
Now that Tuck was home and recuperating from his surgery, I could focus on what I’d been avoiding: facing my parents. Driving up the driveway to Bolt Brook filled me with trepidation. I had no idea if my folks would be honest with me about what was going on. I didn’t know how they would respond to my queries, but I had to ask. I had to know if they intentionally used illegal substances, or if someone on staff had without their permission.
It was time for their silence to end.
I got out of my truck and walked up the sidewalk steps leading to the double front doors. A twist of the knob told me my folks had finally locked them—something they never did in the past because someone was always coming or going. I pressed the doorbell and listened to the echo chime throughout the house.
A minute later, the sound of the lock releasing greeted my ears, and with the opening of the door, my father stood before me.
“Hey, Dad.” An empty pit widened in my stomach.
“Piper.” He swallowed. “I’m surprised you haven’t been by sooner.”
“I would have, but Tuck got injured and had surgery yesterday.” His mom had wanted to be the one to take him home today and pamper him, so I made myself scarce to face the dragon in my own backyard.
“Is he okay?” Dad closed the door behind me.
“He will be.”
“Hmm. Your mother is in our bedroom.” He pointed down the hall. “Hasn’t come out in days.”
I searched his blue-gray eyes. “Why? Is she ... okay?” Was she upset by the news articles, or did she know the truth?
“She’s mad at me. Won’t even speak to me.”
My chest started to tingle. “Did you...” I drew in a shaky inhale. “Did you do it, Dad?”
Silence greeted my ears, then just when I thought I couldn’t stand the tense quiet anymore, he spoke. “Yes.”
The room spun, and I placed a hand on my heart, trying to steady myself and comprehend the three-letter word he’d just lobbed my way. I swayed backward, and Dad reached out to steady me.
“Don’t.” I shook my head, stepping back. “How could you?” I raised my hands, but then dropped them. “Why would you?” My voice cracked.
“Sweetheart, it was just one time. But then ... it wasn’t.” He ran a hand over his head. “The horses started performing better. We won more races. Then buyers were willing to pay a higher stud fee.” He gulped. “Things got out of hand, and before I knew it, I couldn’t keep myself from making it a common practice.”
“Did you administer the drugs yourself or use a staff member?” I thought of Tuck. He’d never firmly said whether he believed my dad did it or not, had he?
“Our vet did. Since he often came to check the horses, it made sense to ask him.”
Was it awful of me to thank the Lord I didn’t use the same veterinarian? When I chose Mordecai, it was to make myself feel independent of my folks. Now I was thankful it made me less culpable.
Focus, Piper. “How much did you pay him to keep your secret and do your dirty work?” Disgust dripped from every word. I couldn’t hide it. I didn’t even recognize the man standing before me.
Dad’s lip twisted. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.”
“Did Mama know?”
He shook his head, dropping his chin to his chest.
Now her anger made sense. My heart hurt for her.
“Suppose you’ll take her side, huh?” He lifted his head, but his gaze remained downcast.
“Dad, there’s no side between you and her. But there is right and wrong, and I know what side of that I stand on.”
“That’s easy for you to say.” Bitterness flashed in his eyes. “You’re just starting out, and your colt is doing well. Wait until the pressure rises. Wait until people expect you to produce winners on a regular basis. Will you stick to your morals then?”
“Yes!” I shouted. “Because you taught me we were nothing without integrity. You taught me to always be honest. You always said not much in life could be trusted, but as long as you could tell God you were trustworthy, that’s all that mattered.” Tears streamed down my face. “Who are you?”
“I’m still your father, Piper.”
I shook my head again. “You’re not the same man who raised me. He would’ve never hurt Mama with his actions. Would’ve never hurt me,” I whispered. “I don’t know who you are.”
“You do.” His face looked haggard as he took a step toward me. “Your mama feels the same way, but if y’all would just stand by me, you’ll see I’m the same man.”
I stared at the only father I’d ever known. This man taught me what it felt like to be loved by an earthly father without question. He taught me how to ride a horse and took me to the track to explain the facts of racing. We’d sit up at night and talk about old horse races, like the beauty of Secretariat’s Derby win or how American Pharaoh came back from an awful start in his road to the Derby to end up winning the famed title. Dad and horse-racing memories were wrapped up into one.
“Do you know what reporters have said about me? You?” I pointed at him.
“I know it hasn’t been easy.”
I scoffed. “Please, you make it seem like the world hasn’t done a hatchet job on you in the media—and me by extension.”
“Piper—”
“Dad.” I took a deep breath. “At the end of the day, can you tell God you’re trustworthy?” No tears made my vocal cords wobble, and anger did not show its face.
Still, the change in my father came instantaneously. His mouth trembled, and his shoulders shook as he curled into himself. While I wanted to hang on to my outrage a little longer, I couldn’t ignore someone who appeared contrite. I walked forward, tentatively placing a hand on his back. The next thing I knew, he was sobbing into my shoulder as I rubbed soothing circles across his back—as though he were a child in need of comfort.
Lord, please let Your presence be known to my dad. Please give him a repentant heart and show him how to walk in forgiveness. I bit my lips. Please help me and Mama learn how to forgive him and what that looks like.
It looks like this.
The thought was so clear in my mind that it was almost audible.
We stayed in the hall until Dad’s tears subsided and my shoulder began to protest the weight of his head. As he stepped away from me, he turned his back, wiping at his face.
“Will you be okay?”
Dad shrugged. “I just want you and your mom to forgive me.”
“Maybe you should desire God’s forgiveness more than ours. His is what will sustain you.”
He turned and gave me a soft smile. “How did you get so wise?”
“I listened to my parents despite what they believed during my teenage years.” I never was huge on rebellion, but I may have argued back more than once.
“Go see your mother. She needs you.”
I nodded.
My tennis shoes squeaked against the marble floors as I maneuvered around the big house. Soon I found myself in front of the primary bedroom. I knocked and placed my ear to the door, listening for any signs of life.
“Go away, Ian.”
“Mama, it’s me.”
I heard shuffling, and then the door opened wide enough to show Mama’s bourbon-colored eyes.
“Your father’s not with you, is he?”
“No, Mama.”
She sighed and opened the door. “Then come on in before he uses this as an opportunity to sneak in here.”
I would have laughed had the situation not been so serious. Mama looked like a warden guarding her domain, daring anyone to cross the threshold.
“I just spoke to Dad.”
“Did you, now?” She placed a hand on her hip. “Did he tell you he did it? That he actually gave blood-doping agents to our horses?”
I nodded.
She threw her hands into the air just like I had. It was kind of eerie.
“I cannot believe that man. Doesn’t he know I’m listed as part owner of Bolt Brook? It’s not only his name he’s dragging through the mud.”
I grimaced inwardly. “I know, Mama.”
“Do you? Because I had to turn off my cell phone just to get the calls from the media to stop. I can’t even check my email for legitimate messages because they’re spamming that. Not to mention our social media manager wants to quit because your father keeps trying to say no comment and people are spewing hate in every single post on Bolt Brook profiles.”
She sank to the bench in front of her bed, a handkerchief magically appearing in her hands. “How could he do this to me?” she wailed.
“If it’s any consolation, I believe he’s truly sorry.”
She snorted. “Did he turn on the waterworks for you, then say how important it is for you to forgive him?”
I tensed. “Yes,” I replied cautiously.
“He was probably faking. He’s diabolical,” she groused.
My mouth dropped open. I’d never heard my mother talk badly about Dad. Ever. They were a little less affectionate than Tuck’s folks were, but I’d never doubted their love for each other. Yet this ... this I was not prepared for.
I sat next to her. “So you don’t think he’s sincere?”
“Now that I know his true nature, I think he’d do anything to keep the wealth he’s amassed, Bolt Brook, and whatever else on his list of items he cares about. But mark my words, it’s certainly not the people in this house.”
I didn’t want to believe her. Dad had seemed contrite, and those tears had been real. But if the man I thought I knew, the man who taught me about integrity yet turned out to be a liar ... who’s to say he couldn’t put on an A-list performance for his family? Too bad I didn’t have a clip of his actions to send to Lamont so he could assess whether my dad had been acting.
“What are you going to do? Are you going to prepare a statement?” Surely Mama wanted to get Bolt Brook back in good standings.
“What can I do?” Her eyes drooped as she blew out a noisy sigh. “If I throw him under the bus, there will still be those who won’t believe I had no clue.” She let out a bitter laugh. “I don’t blame them, either. I feel like a fool. If I want Bolt Brook to survive the onslaught, it might be better to stand with him. To have him prepare a contrite statement.”
I asked the question that had been on my mind ever since Dad admitted his guilt. “Will he go to prison?”
Mama’s face paled. “It’s a very real possibility,” she murmured.
“What are you going to do?” I asked again, closing my eyes against the assault of awful scenarios and consequences my brain had already conjured.
“Honestly?”
I nodded.
“I want to leave him. I almost packed a bag and hightailed it to your farm yesterday.”
Uh...
Was I supposed to encourage my mom to stay with Dad? To seek counseling? Or invite her to use my guest room? Lord God, what do I do?
“I’m here for you, Mama.”
She wrapped me in a hug. “Oh, my sweet girl, thank you.” Then she sniffed and pulled back. “I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you more these past few months. Seeing you leave was hard to get used to, and then the investigation...” She huffed. “It’s been a lot.”
“I get it.” Life was a bit much at times.
Mama sighed. “I can’t imagine what our friends think. A few called when the news first hit, but no one has since our farm was found guilty.” She sniffed again. “All those years of trying to do what was right, and look what happened.”
I rubbed her back, and it hit me. My mom had subjugated herself to keeping up appearances as much as she’d required me to do the same. Only, I didn’t know what to do with that revelation, so I reverted to drawing soothing circles on her back.
“They’ll come around. Your true friends will still be there.”
She nodded. “At least you have Tuck. He’s always been dependable.”
“He has.” I wanted to smile just thinking of him. “He means a lot to me.”
“Are you two...?” Mama’s watery gaze studied me.
I grinned, remembering that first kiss and all the ones since.
She smoothed my hair. “Tell me. I want to know everything.”