Forty-One
Istudied the ring on my left hand as the diamonds sparkled in the hotel lighting. I couldn’t help but think they would give a little something extra to my evening gown for the charity event.
Tonight was the annual Barnstable Brown Derby Eve Gala. The black-tie event was where the who’s who of the Derby world congregated before the big race. Not to mention the event would be filled with celebrities who wanted to have fun. Tuck and I would be going, but we’d also secured tickets for Lamont, Nevaeh, and Chris. Actually, getting Lamont’s ticket had easily secured Nevaeh’s and Chris’s. The ticket secretary had practically drooled at the mention of Lamont Booker.
Some days I looked around and wondered how an orphan from ?l?r? Ilé landed in a place where she was surrounded by wealth. Surely my bio parents had no clue my life would be like this when they dropped me off at the orphanage. At times I wished I could find them, if only to tell them they were successful. I’d received a better opportunity in life.
Of course, I didn’t know if that was their hope when they left me there. They could have simply thought one more mouth to feed was one too many. Regardless, they gave me abundance in their sacrifice. Even if I never completely overcame the feeling of rejection because of that, I would remind myself I wouldn’t be here if they hadn’t made that choice.
Beauty from ashes like God promised.
My phone chimed, and I checked the text.
Nevaeh
Do you need me to do your hair, makeup, accessories?
Piper
A short afro means I never have to do my hair. But I wouldn’t mind the makeup done by a professional. ??
Nevaeh
Girl, I always travel with wigs. I can bring one in if you want to change up the look.
I studied my face in the mirror over the hotel desk. I’d worn braids before courtesy of extensions, but I wasn’t too sure about wearing a wig.
Piper
I think I’ll pass on the wig.
Nevaeh
Ok, I’ll be over with my makeup bag and jewelry case. I have some great statement pieces. Rings, necklaces, earrings.
Piper
Sounds fun. Come on over.
I washed my face with my favorite cleanser, then applied toner serum. By the time I finished, Nevaeh was in my room, laying out her goods across the hotel vanity.
“Goodness. When you said makeup bag, I was thinking something the size of a clutch.” I pointed to the roll out hanging over the width of the furniture. “That’s not a clutch.”
Nevaeh chuckled. “I don’t do anything in small measure.”
“Something I love about you. What will you do to my face?” I sat down in the chair in front of the mirror.
“How about we go bold? You’re always wearing safe choices. I think you’d rock the bold look just as well.”
I looked at the color palettes laid out. “I don’t know. They seem a little daring.”
“But that’s you! Who else could make such a presence in the Derby world? You’ve made more African Americans interested in the sport. That’s daring.”
I bit my lip. Maybe so, but the only place I ever attempted a little boldness was in colorful dresses. Even then, I was still a little sedate. I thought back to my conversation with Mama, how she felt the need to fit in. Maybe Nevaeh was right. Maybe I needed to be more daring.
“Trust me,” Nevaeh said. “I won’t make you look like a trollop.”
I burst out laughing. “That’s an old-fashioned word if I ever heard one.”
“One of my good friends is an older woman.” Nevaeh grinned. “She’s always supplying me with terms from the past.”
“That’s awesome. Maybe we can add some Kentucky phrases to your vocab.”
“Oh, I studied up before I came. Ask me anything about horses, though, and I still might get the answer wrong.”
We laughed.
“I’ve been living horses since I was five. That’s the only reason I get it.”
“But you love it. I can tell.” Nevaeh brushed foundation over my face.
I closed my eyes at her prompting. “I do. It’s in my adopted DNA,” I quipped.
“Have you ever wanted to know about your bio parents?” she asked softly.
“So many times. Only the trail is pretty much dead. The orphanage burned to the ground in 2000. All paperwork lost. So even if I wanted to know who they are, they wouldn’t have the information I’d need to find them.”
“I’m so sorry, Piper.”
I was, too, but I kept mute in case tears decided to make an appearance.
“Do you mind me asking what it was like growing up in Eastbrook?”
“I don’t mind at all.” Nevaeh was a safe person to talk to. “It was kind of difficult. I was the only Black kid in my school.”
I told her about the comments kids made and explained how hard it was to feel like an oddball every single day yet wanting to enjoy life regardless of whether I fit in.
“It’s why I don’t have many friends.” I sighed. “I’m not sure why my race didn’t bother Tuck, but I’m thankful he saw me and not just the color of my skin. I’d probably have grown up bitter if it weren’t for his friendship.”
“I can understand that. I’ve felt uncomfortable going to all-white churches, so I can only imagine what it was like to grow up in a town that had no diversity.”
“Guess that’s just how God’s plan worked.”
“He is doing something amazing in you. I can just feel it.”
I opened my eyes. “You really think so?”
“Of course.” She placed a hand on one hip. “If you win tomorrow, think about the hope you’ll bring to a little girl or boy who looks just like you. They’ll know the sky’s the limit and to not let adversity or good ol’ fashioned racism stand in their way.”
My insides warmed. “Thank you for that. Sometimes I get so me-focused I forget the whole world is watching.”
“Don’t let the weight of that keep you from doing.” She picked up some eye shadow. “Believe me. I got paralyzed last year with all the judgments from the keyboard mafia.” She shook her head. “If I’d been stronger in my faith and remembered my purpose is to worship God, I wouldn’t have let their words have any power over me.”
“How do I find that boldness?” I closed an eye as Nevaeh swiped the wand over my lid. “I’ve been trying to blend in most of my life. The equine atmosphere is the only place I feel really confident. I know horses. Everything else feels like a gamble.”
“Then remember who’s betting on you—God. He calls you His and already knows the great plans He has for you, so you don’t need to dim your light for fear of making anyone else uncomfortable. Or because you’re uncomfortable with all eyes on you. All that matters is you walk in the joy and boldness that believing in Jesus and accepting Him as your Savior brings.”
She finished, and I opened my eyes, gaze lasered right on her. “Okay. Then I need you to help me choose my dress.”
Nevaeh stepped back to give me space to stand. “What do you mean?”
“I brought two.” I bit my lip. “One seemed like the best choice, the choice I’d always pick.”
“And the other?”
“It’s daring.” My heartbeat picked up speed as I thought of the two gowns.
“Show me.”
I went to the closet and slid back the mirrored door, then pulled out the safe choice.
“That’s gorgeous. Is that chiffon?”
I nodded.
“I bet that ice blue is stunning with your complexion.”
One of the reasons I chose it. It’s something even Mama would like. “I agree and I don’t.”
“Okay. Is this the safe choice or the bold one?”
“Safe.”
Nevaeh’s mouth dropped open. “Show me the bold one!”
I laughed and hung up the chiffon gown. Then I grabbed the red dress that had caught my attention. The sleek silhouette followed the shape of my curves almost giving me the semblance of a figure. The wide straps crisscrossed, leaving a tiny triangular keyhole in the center of my neckline. My arms would be bare as with the chiffon gown, but somehow this one seemed more audacious. I held it up in front of me and met Nevaeh’s gaze.
“You have to wear that one,” she whispered in awe. “You’ll look amazing in it. I also have the perfect shade of red lipstick to match. You’ll knock Tuck’s socks off.”
“I definitely want that result.”
“Then go for it. Choose this one.”
“Okay.” I grinned. “Let’s do this.”
Nevaeh gave me a high five. “Great. Let’s finish your makeup, then you can put it on. I should have brought my dress down here so we could get ready together.”
“Go get it.” I glanced at the hotel clock. “We’ve got plenty of time. The guys know where to find us.”
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”
I laughed as she headed out the door. The gala was going to be great. My favorite singer and band—Holiday Brown and Every Breath—would be performing as well as a few other famous entertainers. I couldn’t wait for the fun to start. A night of dancing with Tuck and being with friends to commemorate a wonderful time in my life.
I thought about what Nevaeh said. Of the importance of shining for God.
Lord, sometimes that seems so egotistical. Please show me how to shine my light and let You remain my focus.