Chapter 3
Amy
Everything is stupid. Okay, more than stupid, everything is downright cruel.
My grandparents want more time with me? Nah, they need me to marry some dude so we don’t all die.
Couldn’t just be a normal visit, now could it?
No, that’d be ridiculous. Oh, someone finally wants me?
No, he just needs to marry me to access some docks. A dock. Am I really only worth that?
The first thing I do once I finish talking with my grandmother is lock myself in the room they loan me when I visit.
It’s lavish, but impersonal. I know it’s not mine— the golden chandelier and silk wallpapers remind me of that fact every time I look at them.
Enjoy it while you can, because it isn’t yours and nothing like this ever will be.
I told my grandmother I’d marry the man.
God help me. She’s putting it in motion with my grandfather as we speak.
Should I have taken time to think about it?
Yeah. Probably. But I panicked. I might be a people pleaser, but my grandmother had talked about death.
Not just for me, but our whole family. It felt like she was holding a gun to my head.
Or, rather, that this…guy is holding a gun to all of our heads.
That’s right, guy. I’m not going to call him this grandiose, scary title like he probably wants. Irish Demon. Pathetic, really, to call yourself that. So dramatic. If you need to call yourself that, are you even scary?
God, I hope he isn’t. I have to marry him, after all.
In my panicked state, I forgot his real name. It isn’t something I care to fix. I’ll probably have to hear his name everyday for the rest of my life, which may be a short one for all I know. I’m going to enjoy this time when I don't remember it for as long as I can.
The bed creaks when I plop down onto it. It reminds me of what my grandmother said when this same bed had creaked under my weight when I visited some years ago. Perhaps you should use the gym in the basement, Amy. It’ll be good for you.
Eh, fuck that. I would never say that to my grandmother, of course, or anyone else for that matter, but my mind is my one safe place to be who I really am.
I grab my phone and type out a text. My best friend, Lily, is going to lose her mind about this.
I know she’ll be upset about the situation with me, as she always is.
We always vent to each other in support of one another, through thick and thin.
She’s the closest thing I have to an external safe place.
We’ll be able to bond over terrible fathers, since she never knew hers, but apparently he was bad enough for her mom to flee to a whole new country while pregnant.
That’s gotta be pretty bad.
Still, that doesn’t make mine any less horrible. Who knew Dad’s gambling hobby could ruin my life so prolifically? So much for daddy’s little girl getting everything she wants, right?
Yeah. Like that’s ever happened. Pretty sure my mom has to remind him when it’s my birthday.
It only takes a few minutes before my phone lights up. Lily is calling. I answer quickly. “I assume you got my text?”
Lily laughs on the other end, obviously assuming I’m not serious. “Uh, yeah. You’re joking, right?”
“Nope.” I pop the p. “You know, when I kinda distanced myself from my dad, I never thought that he was literally carrying out my demise the whole time.”
There’s silence on the other end as Lily processes the fact that what I texted her is real.
“No, no. Don’t say that.” Lily huffs. There’s a tense moment where she’s silent again.
I can tell her mind is racing, looking for a solution.
“Listen, we’ll find a way to get you out of this, right?
I mean…your grandparents can’t make you get married. ”
I sigh into the phone. “No. But I already agreed.”
There’s silence on the other end for a moment. “You what?”
“I know it sounds crazy, Lily, but my grandmother says that he’ll kill us all if I don’t.”
“And you believe her?” Lily asks in a slightly high-pitched voice.
I pause. I hadn’t considered the fact that she could be lying. “I…shit.”
It’s Lily’s turn to sigh. “Did you at least google him?”
“Google him? You really think that one of the most powerful mafia men is going to just casually pop up? You think he’s going to have a Wikipedia page or something? C’mon.” I’m so glad that Lily knows about my family’s business. I don’t think I could bear not talking about this with someone.
“All right, that’s a good point.” Lily sighs again. “Okay. So we just do what my mom did and flee the country, change your name, start a new life.”
I get up and start pacing my room. “Great idea. Except the rest of my family will die.”
“Shit,” she hisses. “Forgot about that. Can we let the old coots die? I mean, they did choose this life…and your dad, too. This is his fault, after all. We could just take your mom with us?”
I stare up at the ceiling in frustration. “Yeah, okay. Even so, do you know how to change your identity and go into hiding from an extremely powerful individual from the criminal underworld? Because I sure as hell don’t.”
“Eh…no. My mom didn’t exactly tell me how she managed that. The last thing she told me was not to have anything to do with my dad. It’s not like she left an instruction manual in her will. Maybe she should have.” There’s a pause and then excitement fills Lily’s voice. “I have an idea!”
I pause my pacing, my heart rate picking up. “What is it?”
“I’ll get a Ouija board!” She exclaims, trying to lighten the mood, probably to protect my sanity. Dark humor is something we’ve always shared.
My shoulders slump. “I’m going to kill you.”
Lily laughs. “Can’t kill me if you’re married to a psycho. Or on the run from him.”
“If I’m in prison, then if he marries me, it won’t matter. Can’t do marital things with a prison inmate."
There’s silence for a moment and then we burst out laughing. I’ve never been more thankful for having a dear friend that understands me.
I lay across the bed again, staring up at the chandelier, phone pressed to my ear. “You don’t know how much I needed that.”
Lily’s voice is quiet. “I know. This…this is scary, Amy. I’m worried about you.”
“Me too,” I say softly. “I don’t know what to do. I’m terrified, Lily.”
Lily’s voice is thick with emotion when she replies. “We’re going to find a way out of this, okay? Maybe we can look into contacting these people that own the docks and get him access without the marriage. Or maybe we can involve the police, or…”
Tears track down my face as my vision blurs.
“Yeah. Maybe.” I know my words sound hollow and unconvincing.
I just can’t muster the energy to make it sound like I believe them.
As much as I wish that any of this will work, I know it’s doomed.
If there was a way to get him access to that dock without the marriage, my grandfather would’ve already found out about it and gone that route.
The police won’t be able to help. So far, all of this is legal..
If I refuse, then it wouldn’t be legal to force me to marry anyone.
But if he carries through with his threat of killing us all, it’ll be too late.
Maybe they might put me into witness protection or something.
But that isn’t guaranteed. It also isn’t guaranteed to save me from this apparently very powerful man.
Which I’m sure of. He has to be powerful if my grandparents are scared of him.
“I’m with you, okay? We’re in this together. Keep me updated. Call me anytime if you need me. I mean it, anytime.” Lily’s soft voice brings me back to reality.
I can’t help the smile that lifts my lips, even if it’s a weak one. “Thank you, Lily. I will.”
“You promise?” She almost whispers.
“I promise.” Lily is the only one I could make such a promise to. I don’t trust anyone else enough to rely on them, to bring my burdens to them. My family relied on me, not the other way around. It’s how it’s always been, and it wasn’t going to change now.
“Good. I’ll be with you even if he ends up being some old bald dude.”
I sigh and roll my eyes. “God. Don’t remind me. He could look like anything. I don’t even know how old he is.”
Lily snorts. “Let’s cross our fingers that he’s under sixty.”
“Sixty?!” I exclaim. “Oh, no.”
“Deep breaths, Amy. One step at a time. Survive today, worry about marrying a psycho tomorrow. Or the next day. Actually, just push it off until you can’t any more.”
Despite the horrendous circumstances, I can’t help but laugh, even with tears still in my eyes. “Yeah. Procrastinate on marrying a prick, got it.”
We laugh and joke back and forth for a few more minutes before hanging up.
I’m so thankful for my friend distracting me from the situation so I don’t spiral.
I don’t move from my spot on the bed for a while.
Not until there’s a knock on the door and my grandmother steps in, not even waiting for me to respond. “You’re upset.”
No shit, Sherlock. “Yes.”
She sighs as she crosses the room and sits on the bed next to me. “We’ve heard from them. They’re flying here soon.”
I sit up so fast that the room spins. “Them? As in…them? Him?”
My grandmother nods. “He’s eager to get this arrangement settled.”
Bile stings my throat and my whole body feels cold. “So soon? But…you just told me about this!”
“Shh, dear…” She forces a smile and lays a hand on my arm.
As if that would do anything to comfort me.
The urge to push her hand off rises, but I stuff it down.
“Everything’s going to be okay. It’ll move fast, but perhaps that’s for the better.
You’ll have enough time to adjust but not enough time to be frantic about it. Sometimes waiting is torture.”
I want to say that all of this is torture, but obviously I don’t. The balance between managing my feelings and needs while still behaving appropriately is becoming more difficult to maintain. “But…is there really no other solution? I was thinking of looking into some things…”
Her hold on my arm tightens. “I’m only going to tell you this once, child.
Do not test him. He’s watching us, every move we make.
Especially you. That is what your grandfather’s men discovered.
He’s had people watching you, observing your habits and way of life, for months.
He’ll find out about it if you try to escape this, and when he does, you’ll be punished.
And, no doubt, the rest of us will be punished by default, too.
Help yourself by heeding my warning, Amy. ”
The fear in my grandmother’s eyes scares me. My grandmother is a lot of things, but I don’t think she can fake the terror in her eyes that I see now, or even earlier when she first told me about this.
She isn’t lying. This man really is as dangerous and demonic as she says. Or, at least, she believes that. And my gut says she wouldn’t be misinformed about this.
I’m destined to marry a man that doesn't actually want me, one that I’ve never met. A man that puts fear into the hearts of the most powerful of mafia royalty. A man with a horrid reputation, one of death and violence so severe that comparing him to a demon is appropriate.
Me. The shy, socially awkward, quiet girl. I don’t fit any mold, especially not one that usually hangs off of powerful men’s arms. And yet, here I am, about to marry a monster.
I don’t believe in god, but I hope he helps me.