Chapter 18
TAMSYN
NIGHTTIME WAS MY ONLY CHANCE. WHEN NO ONE WAS watching. When everyone slept.
I could have waited, but fiery resolve burned in me, pumping hot and thick through my veins. Now was my best opportunity amid the squall, when travel was difficult and visibility low. I would be untrackable in these conditions—just in case anyone wanted to follow me.
Even though there was still so much unknowable about Vetr and his enigmatic silver gaze …
after it was all said and done, after I was gone, after he had time to consider that he and I would never be good together, he would recognize that he was well rid of me.
He would forget about me and take someone else to bond with so that he could grow the pride. That was all he wanted anyway.
I would rescue Fell, and together we would decide where to go.
No one noticed me slipping from my den. No one noticed me venturing to the kitchens and procuring some food and a flask of verdaberry juice and stuffing it into my knapsack.
I didn’t know how long it was going to take to find Fell, but I couldn’t head out into the Crags without proper provisions, and verdaberry, with its healing properties, was always useful.
I wasn’t quite one hundred percent yet, and I would need all my strength for what I might face.
It didn’t take much imagination to envision what that might be: the skelm (truce or not), raiders from the north, raiders from the south, and a whole host of other threats in the forms of creatures I had not yet experienced.
Being caught out on my own would not be ideal.
I shoved such worries aside, reminding myself that I was a firebreather. I could take care of myself.
The pride’s gathering area was silent and still as a tomb. Shadows flickered across the stone walls from the low-burning fire in the great hearth. It never burned out completely. Someone would be along soon to stir it to life. I needed to be gone before then.
I plunged into the tunnel leading out of the pride’s caves and followed it as it coiled up through the mountain, finally reaching the waterfall.
The roar of falling water, however, did not greet me as I approached.
It was noiseless, frozen solid courtesy of the recent squall.
It wasn’t like the Great Falls, a massive waterfall in the Crags so large it never froze.
I followed the path along behind it, the wall of ice to my left preternaturally motionless, almost like time had stopped, freezing the countless droplets mid-flow. My fingertips grazed the bitterly cold barrier as I went.
The path I walked was not obvious at first glance. Or even second. It was one more layer of protection, an obstacle that helped keep us hidden from prying eyes or those intent on searching for passageways or caves that could lead to dragons and their hoard.
I stepped out from behind the falls. The ground inclined steeply at this point.
I moved along its slick ascent. I was almost to the crest and not yet out of breath.
Even after my lengthy svefn, I was still in good-enough shape.
Training had conditioned me. My limbs were strong, toned with muscle where they had once been soft.
I reached the crest and stood poised, looking out through the mouth of the cave, facing the waiting world, listening to the howl of the wind and snow in the eons-hewn mountain, the pride, Vetr at my back.
Where he would stay.
“Going somewhere?”
I bit back a scream and whirled around. Kerstin advanced on me, looking rather smug as she trekked up the incline behind me, her long, coltish legs encased in thick wool trousers. Thick fur boots hugged her feet, and that told me everything I needed to know. She was dressed for travel.
With a hand pressed over my pounding heart, I exhaled the words: “You gave me a fright. You shouldn’t sneak up like that.”
“And you should not sneak out in the middle of the night,” she retorted with a grin.
“I’m not sneaking out,” I lied, my mind working quickly to come up with a reason for being only a few steps from the opening of the cave.
“No?”
“I’m just getting some air. I’m not like the rest of you … accustomed to being underground so much. I have need of fresh air.”
“Yes,” she said in slow agreement. “You’re not like the rest of us.” Arms crossed, she sent a pointed look to my knapsack, full of the provisions I’d packed. “And you’re not getting fresh air. You’re getting out of here.”
I opened and closed my mouth several times before acknowledging to myself that she was not one to be put off with fake denials. She had eyes and a brain in her head. No sense denying it. “I can’t stay here another moment,” I admitted.
She considered me a long time and nodded, just once. “Where are you going?”
I exhaled with relief that I would not be required to defend my decision to leave. She seemed to accept it. She didn’t want to know why. Just where.
“He’s out there.” I motioned vaguely, as though out there was not a vast area that stretched miles and miles. Even the pride couldn’t know every inch of it. There was too much ground to cover.
She nodded solemnly.
I did not miss that she didn’t ask me who I was talking about. She understood, and I again wondered how much she knew. Did the entire pride know that Fell was buried somewhere in these mountains? Was I the only one living in the dark?
“Did you know?” I demanded, feeling the heat rise in my face, in all of me, eager to burn a path outside myself. “That Fell is not dead … did you know?”
“Me?” She snorted and rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t say I’m exactly part of the pride’s inner circle.” Her steady gaze fixed back on me. “No. Of course I didn’t know.”
“But you’re not surprised,” I countered. “You’re not surprised that he’s out there … buried alive.”
At that she hesitated, and then she nodded. “The skelm are capable of terrible things. Burying their enemies alive is a thing they do. We all know that.”
We all know that.
“I didn’t know that,” I snapped. “No one saw fit to tell me that.”
She shrugged. “You cannot expect to know all our ways. You’re learning, though. You’ve come far.”
I was, indeed, learning. “I’m going to find him,” I announced with a lift of my chin, daring her to try to stop me.
“Of course you are.” She uncrossed her arms and squared her stance, resembling a soldier readying for battle. “Well, you can’t do it alone.”
I blinked. “What do you mean?”
“Wait here.” She gestured for me to stay put and then disappeared back down the tunnel. I stood there for several moments, restless in my skin, trying to make sense of her actions.
I continued to the cave’s opening, eager to be gone and nervous at the idea that Kerstin was alerting Vetr that I was sneaking off in the night, but then I shook my head. If that was the case, there was nothing I could do about it. I was either caught or not.
She didn’t take very long. Kerstin caught up with me just as the sound of the wind whistling outside reached my ears.
“Tamsyn,” she panted breathlessly. “I told you to wait.”
I turned to face her. At least she was alone. No one was with her, but she now had a knapsack of her own. I pointed at it. “What is that?”
“Well, I needed some things for our journey. I doubt you packed enough for two.”
“Our journey?”
“Yes. I’m coming with you.”
“Oh, no.” I let loose a humorless laugh.
“You are not. As it is, they’re not going to like me leaving, but if they lose you, too …
” Another female? No, they wouldn’t like that at all.
She might be only sixteen now, but she was a future breeder for the pride, and I knew full well how much value they placed upon that.
She shrugged. “You can’t do this alone. You don’t know the Crags as well as I do—”
“Kerstin, they will not give you up. They will track—”
“They would do that anyway. Because of you. You’re just as valuable to them as I am.”
“I don’t know about that—”
She snorted. “Well, I do. I can promise you that Vetr’s eyes don’t follow me around. Not the way they follow you. He’s not letting you go.”
I only stared at her, desperately hoping she was wrong.
She went on. “The pride will follow. Whether it’s me or you.
You’re right about that. Wouldn’t you like me with you to help evade them?
I know their tactics. And I know the Crags and all its threats.
It’s not just the skelm you need to worry about, you know.
” I did know. “The world outside has teeth that would prey on you alone. Your chances are better with me alongside you.”
I bit my lip, feeling myself waver.
She must have read my indecision. “Come now,” she pressed. “I’ll return to the pride after we find Fell. You two can go off and live happily ever after. Isn’t that how the fairy tales go?”
Fairy tales. I had never believed in them, but I wanted to. I wanted to believe I was living in one right now and that I was destined for a happy ending. With Fell alive, it felt possible.
“Let me help you until then,” she coaxed.
I could use the help. Kerstin might be struggling to wield her talent, but she would be useful in helping me navigate the Crags and search for Fell.
She went on. “They won’t even miss me.”
That I did not believe.
I shook my head resolutely. No matter how tempting it would be to have a companion, I couldn’t allow her to join me.
“No.” I could not risk bringing her. What if something happened to her?
As she pointed out, there were far too many risks.
I couldn’t be responsible for her. “You stay here. Go back to bed. I’m not bringing you. ”
She angled her head sharply. “What’s funny is that you think you have a choice.”
I blinked. “What?”
“You heard me.” She propped her hands on her narrow hips. “I’m going with you.”
“No,” I said firmly, indignation stirring hotly inside me. “You. Are. Not.”