Chapter Sixteen #2
“Your mom,” he says. “If she wasn’t whipping me with a belt, she had a thing for tying me to a bed and injecting my dick with something so I’d stay hard. She would ride me for… a while. She’d have others do things to me. She was the one who kidnapped me when I was eleven.”
“You raped me,” I say.
“I did,” he says bluntly. “I hated every fucking second of it. I spent years drinking and doing drugs to try and get you out of my head.”
“I can go if it’s too much,” I offer.
“No, Milly. It’s not too much,” he says.
“When you got paired with Grayson, it made me so happy. He is such a good man. He has no idea that I know you. No one did. He called me and said that he was sending you up to me, and it was suggested that I do therapy with you because of my history. I told him you were my history, but I would talk to you about it.”
“I’m not scared of you,” I say.
“I’m glad,” he says. “Do you want to do a scene with me?”
“What will you do?” I ask.
“Well. Grayson said you would do well with intense impact play. I thought I could start there.”
“Is that it?” I ask.
“Do you want that to be it?”
“I don’t know now. I didn’t expect to know you,” I explain. “Gray said something about only toys until we can all talk.”
“Let’s take it step by step and see where it goes,” he says. “Grayson said you can’t be restrained because of your wrist. Is it broken?”
“Yeah, and I have like twelve stitches in my hand,” I say. I give an overview of what has happened and how I got hurt.
“Okay, so I can have you lying down. Are you okay with the class watching?” he asks, and I nod. “What about our history?”
“That’s fine. Maybe just don’t say it was my mom, though.”
“No names,” he says with a smile. “We will move slowly and see how it goes.”
“Okay,” I say with a small smile.
When we stand, and I turn, Alania smiles. “You did good, Milly. I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you,” I say happily.
We leave the aftercare room and go back down to the classroom. When we walk in, Ace moves a leather-covered table to the front. It looks like a massage table with a cutout for the face. He waves me over, and I hesitantly move to stand with him.
“Do you want me to treat this the way I would any other scene, or do we need to start further back?”
“Whatever is normal,” I answer.
“Okay,” he says with a smile. “Undress down to just panties.”
“So…” I start to say.
“Yes?” he asks.
“I am very bruised. He hits hard,” I say. “I don’t want anyone to think the worst.”
He nods and turns to everyone else. “Just a warning, everyone. Milly was recently assaulted by someone and has some bruising. Grayson is aware, but she wanted everyone to be aware as well.”
“Thank you,” I say.
“You’re welcome, Milly. Undress,” he says, stepping back.
Everyone is watching me, so I stop and take a deep breath before focusing on just Ace. He calms me. I think he always has. I don’t remember a lot, but I remember him talking me through when the camera was on. I trusted him, and he never let me down. I never seemed to doubt that.
When I unhook my bra and let it drop, Ace scans my body. “Now what?” I ask.
“Kneel for me, Milly,” he says with a soft yet authoritative tone.
I bring myself down to my knees and sit back on my heels.
My hands are resting gently on my thighs as Ace steps closer.
He gently lifts my chin, and I smile at him.
“You are to refer to me as master or sir. Pick one, and that will be what you use.”
“Master,” I say softly.
“Master it is,” he says with a small smile. “Do you trust me to lead you?”
“Yes, Master. I do,” I say honestly.
“You understand that by your partners permitting me to lead you, it means you are also my submissive?” he asks.
“Yes, Master.” It feels nice to be on my knees calling him master. It makes me feel powerful.
“Do you understand that Grayson will always have the final say as he is your lawful husband and main dominant partner?”
“Yes, Master.”
Ace looks up at everyone else. “As all of you know, I am a survivor of human trafficking, and I was forced to do horrific things to innocent children while being abused and tortured,” he says.
“Milly is one of the girls I was forced to hurt. She was the main one, and I have seen the horrors firsthand that she has endured. We are in a special position to be able to see her through these new memories in an environment that is bringing her peace. Grayson and Adam will be joining us when they can, but this is a slow process. This is her first scene. I think seeing this will help you all see the benefits of healing through BDSM. Milly is strong, and she has a desire to find peace. You all have the luxury of witnessing her find that peace for the first time. I shouldn’t have to remind you to keep your hands to yourself, but I will.
Understand that it isn’t me you’ll have to worry about, but her husband.
If she panics, Alania and I are the only ones to even speak to her. ”
“What if you panic?” a girl with a small voice asks, and someone shushes her.
“Why do you ask, Lia?”Ace asks.
“Well… She may have been raped, but you were forced. You shared that trauma. What if engaging with her for the first time since then leads to you panicking?” she asks.
“How to spot a psych major,” I giggle to myself. Ace lifts my chin with a smirk. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Would you like to answer?”
“You are definitely going to panic,” I say. “You have this assumption that you were my abuser, but you weren’t. Until you can see that we were in that together, you will struggle.”
“What would be a good way for me to cope in the moment if we are both triggered?”
“The same thing we did when we were being abused,” I say. “We talk.”
“Good girl. Come lie face down,” he says, patting the table.
I get up and carefully move to lie down.
I feel naked because I am wearing a thong, but not looking at any of the others helps.
My breathing is still quickened, and I flinch when he moves my arm that has the brace up above my head.
He moves the other up, and I start crying when he rests his hands on my back.
“You’re doing great, Milly,” Ace says softly. I try to breathe through the panic, but I can’t. After a while, Ace is feeding off my anxiety, and I can feel his hands shaking.
“Hey, girly. Look up here,” Alania says softly. I turn my head to see her, and she smiles. “What do you need?”
“Grayson,” I whimper. When she steps aside, and Grayson kneels, more tears surface.
“Shhh, Baby Girl. You’re okay,” he says, gently stroking my hair. “Is it memories?”
“No,” I say.
“Then it’s guilt.”
“Yeah. I shouldn’t want…”
“Want what?” he asks.
“Any of this,” I say. “Not after what they’ve done.”
“Taking back your power with consensual interactions is healing for many, Baby Girl. You are desperate for peace, but you are terrified that it’s too good to be true,” he says.
“Trust me when I say that I want what you want. I want you to have peace, and although I didn’t expect you two to be connected, I stand by thinking you two will do well together. ”
“How do you know?” I ask.
“I’ll show you,” he says before looking up at Ace. “Go slow and don’t let her come.”
“What are you…”
“Shhh, baby. Keep your eyes on me,” Grayson says.
Ace gently pulls my thong off, and it’s like second nature to lift my hips to help.
He pulls my thighs apart, and I groan and relax when he pushes two thick fingers into my pussy.
“That right there, Baby Girl. That is how I know,” Grayson says.
“You lean into his touch just the same as you do for me and Adam.”
Ace starts fucking me with his hand slowly, but increases his speed. When my moans turn desperate, he stops, and I whine.
“Good girl. Now, let him make that pretty ass bright red for me so I can fuck you.”
“In front of everyone?” I ask.
“Yes, baby,” he laughs, and kisses my temple.
When Grayson moves away, Ace leans down. “Let the memories in,” he says softly. “Let them take over.”
I nod, and he steps away. I vaguely hear him warn me that he is about to begin, but the memories are consuming me little by little.
The flogger slaps across my ass hard, and it’s like someone has hit the mute button on my memories.
He hits me again and again, and the memories are still playing, but they aren’t suffocating.
It’s a blissful feeling, and it’s like I am floating.
I don’t know how long I drift for before I am suddenly brought out of my catatonic state when someone surges into my pussy. “Fuck!” I gasp.
I have my feet on the floor, spread far apart, but lying over the table.
Another hard thrust, and I move up to rest my weight on my good hand.
“There’s my girl,” Grayson says, grabbing me by the hair and pulling my head up to look out at everyone.
Seeing Adam and Ace sitting together and smiling makes me happy.
I push my hips back, and Grayson quickens his pace and starts fucking me harder.
I am dazed and in and out of it. I don’t manage to pull myself out of it again until I am coming.
Grayson pushes deep as he comes, and when he pulls out of me, Adam is right there to scoop me into his arms.
“Is she okay?” a girl asks.
“She’s okay,” Grayson says. “What you are seeing is subspace. It’s kind of like flying. It puts her in a catatonic state. When she comes out of it, that is when she may experience subdrop, which is why aftercare is so important.”
“They are going to take her. I have a feeling you’ll be seeing more of her,” Adrian says. “Take a break, and then we can talk about ways to induce subspace.”
Adam takes me somewhere, but I am not really aware of what is going on. I am somehow wrapped in a blanket. When he sits, he lifts my chin, and I see that we are in Grayson’s office. “I thought y’all had appointments?” I ask quietly.