Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
I closed Flower Power at lunchtime on Christmas Eve, posting a festive note on the door, the shop website and on our social media accounts, thanking everybody for their support during the last few months, wishing them a wonderful Christmas and adding that Flower Power would reopen on 28 December.
Earlier that morning, I’d received a phone call from Ezra, quickly followed by texts from Caroline and Laura. The DNA results had come back positive. Ezra was their father.
‘Both a shock and what I’d expected,’ he’d said, tentatively. ‘But they’re both lovely young women, which I can take no credit for. I’m rather proud.’
Caroline and Laura had both been sanguine. For them, it was needed confirmation. But I was sure they’d grow to be fond of Ezra in time.
We’d been a bit busier than I’d anticipated for Christmas Eve morning. There had been some confusion with Mr Snowdon, who had written down the wrong details from his wife about which festive floral dinner centrepiece to collect and then Mrs Hemphill had changed her mind about the colour of ribbon she wanted on her late sister’s wreath to take up to the cemetery that afternoon.
Dismissed was the cream satin, and in its place, I weaved a red tartan ribbon.
Once we were officially closed, I insisted on pouring the three of us a glass of Bucks Fizz and gave Amber and Rowan their gifts – fishnet tights and glittery eyeliner for Amber, silver earrings and vanilla-scented hand cream for Rowan.
Then it was my turn to open the lovely gifts they bought me – a pretty mug with a B on it and a new apron which was pink to match the shop and had Bailey embroidered across it in sweeping gold lettering.
“Thank you,” I laughed, trying it on for size. “I shall wear it with pride.”
I watched as the two girls resumed sweeping the floor and tidying. Now would be the perfect time to tell them.
Come on, Bailey. Enough procrastination. It’s time.
No more secrets. Look at what damage they can do.
I cleared my throat. “Amber. Rowan. Can you both stop what you’re doing for a second, please. I’ve something to tell you.”
My stomach cartwheeled and I placed one hand on it.
Amber’s winged eyes grew large. Her attention fell on my tummy. “Oh my God! Are you pregnant?”
I let out a laugh, despite my rattling apprehension. “No. It’s nothing like that.” I whipped my hand away from my stomach. It would have to be an immaculate conception, if I was. My thoughts zoomed to Zach, but I busied myself with setting up my laptop on the counter.
They both watched me, exchanging questioning looks.
I pulled up images of Bannock House. “I want to show you both something.”
The girls came round to stand either side of me at the counter. They gazed at the laptop screen.
Rowan pointed at the photos. “Isn’t that the place where Ezra’s having his Hogmanay party next week?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“And we’re both going,” squealed Amber, not able to conceal her excitement.
“Of course, you are,” I confirmed, my smile shaky. My hands hovered over the mouse.
Rowan frowned. “What is it, Bailey?”
There was a rushing noise in my ears but I carried on. “Do either of you remember a few years back there was that posh girl who was supposed to marry a musician, but he stood her up on their wedding day?”
Rowan furrowed her brow beside me. “Who?”
“You know,” I prompted, mentally willing them to remember, so I didn’t have to spell it out. “She came from an old Scottish family.”
Rowan looked like she was trying to recall her, but was struggling. Then a spark lit up in her eyes. “Oh aye. Now you come to mention it, I think I do remember her. Wasn’t she Lady something or other?”
It felt like we were discussing a stranger, and it was such a weird out-of-body experience.
“Oh, I know who you mean,” erupted Amber. “Wasn’t she the one who was a bit of a party girl?”
Rowan’s eyes widened. “Yeah, she was. She was always photographed at wild parties and rolling out of nightclubs at five in the morning.”
Amber nodded. “That’s right. I think one of the tabloids gave her a nickname. What was it now? Oh yeah! Bollinger Babe, cos she always carried around a bottle of Bollinger champagne. I wonder what happened to her?”
I stood there, cringing into my boots.
Rowan pulled a face. “I bet she hasn’t been reduced to flogging some knock-off perfume on the QVC channel right now.”
Amber agreed. “No doubt Mummy and Daddy will have seen her right.”
This was excruciating, and only served to highlight how far I’d come since then.
“I know what happened to her,” I said in a guilty rush.
Amber leant forward, her two plaits trembling on either side of her expectant face. “Do you? Go on, Bailey. Spill. I love a bit of gossip!”
“Oh God! Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound dismissive or rude,” blushed Rowan. “Do you know her?”
I looked at Rowan and then at Amber. It would be like tearing off a plaster – momentary pain, followed by relief. The words shot out of my mouth, falling over one another. “You could say that.” I studied their expectant faces. “She’s me. I’m her.” My cheeks zinged with heat. “What I mean is, I am… I was her. I’m not Bailey McArthur. Well, I am now, but…” I braced myself. “What I’m trying to say is my full name, my real name, is Lady Anastasia McLaren-Kerr.”
They both gawped at me.
Amber made me jump when she took a step closer, to get a better look at my scarlet face. “Sorry?”
I straightened my back and repeated my name.
Rowan and Amber blinked at me like two confused dolls and then at each other. Then Rowan gathered herself. “Are you joking? You’re … Lady Anastasia?”
“Yes. I was. I mean, I am. But I don’t go by that name any more…”
Amber flicked a disbelieving glance to Rowan and back again. “Are you being serious?”
“Yes.”
Amber folded her arms, making her dozens of gold bracelets rattle. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“My fiancé left me at the altar, and I was publicly humiliated. I wanted to move on, to start over without the burden of my past.”
Rowan blew out an excited whistle. “We’ve been working for the Bollinger Babe and didn’t know! This is unreal.”
I bristled. “Please don’t call me that. I hated it then and hate it even more now, although I guess in a way, I did ask for it.”
“Well, working for royalty then,” jumped in Amber.
“I’m no more royalty than either of you,” I insisted. “I don’t want things to change between the three of us. I’m still just Bailey. End of.”
Rowan coloured up. “I’m sorry if what we just said about her … er… I mean, you?—”
“No need to apologise. Everything you said was right. It’s in the past and it’s not who I am anymore.”
Amber raised her finger and jabbed it towards the photo of Bannock House on my laptop and its lush, rolling lawns. “And where Ezra’s having his party, this is yours?”
I shifted from foot to foot. “It’s my parents’ home.”
Rowan’s mouth was popping open with surprise. “I remember reading an interview a while back in one of those glossy magazines about the couple who own the estate. So that’s your parents?”
I nodded, beginning to feel relief that this was over.
“So, your mum and dad are Lord and Lady Something?” asked Rowan, intrigued.
I fidgeted with my hands. “Earl and Countess Tweed Muir.”
Amber scanned my face, still riven in shock. “Why are you telling us now? Is it because of the party?”
I let out an awkward sigh. “Yes and no. I’ve worked hard to start afresh, and to build this business – with your help. For a long time, I was running away from what happened, but now I’m ready to face it, to embrace who I used to be, and to know that I’m not that person anymore. I wanted to do something on my own terms and be successful because I’m good at it and not because of the family I was born into and the privileges that came with that. I wanted to know who I am, and to be better than I used to be. And I think… I think I’ve done that. And that means I’m not afraid of the past anymore. I don’t want to be any kind of celebrity, but I also don’t want to hide.”
They both made sympathetic noises.
Rowan tilted her head to one side. “I wish we’d known.”
“I know and I’m sorry. But it was really important to me to know that I could do this on my own and be good at it. Does that make sense?”
They nodded but I could tell they weren’t convinced.
“Looking back on it, maybe it wasn’t such a big deal, but it felt like a big deal at the time. And maybe it’s only because I’ve done what I set out to do that I’ve been able to gain some perspective.”
“Not a big deal?” repeated Amber, incredulous. “Your house makes Downton Abbey look like a semi-detached.”
Embarrassment flared up inside of me.
“Well, now we know we’re working for a princess…” grinned Amber, earning a playful scowl from me.
I rolled my eyes. “You’re not!” We all laughed.
I closed down my laptop. “As I said, although I want to be honest about who I am, I’d appreciate it if you could keep this to yourselves. It’s not a secret exactly, but?—”
“We won’t tell anyone, will we?” Rowan said.
“I promise,” said Amber. “But this is so exciting!”