Chapter Fifty-Seven
Somehow Flora had managed to put on a brave face, hiding her heartbreak behind forced smiles and conversation.
She had made it through the interview, grateful for the distraction, nodding as enthusiastically as she could manage and answering all the questions perfectly.
Her presentation, on design ecologies, seemed to have been well received, despite her feeling completely flat and as if she were just going through the motions.
She couldn’t figure out whether that was because she was in a strange city and back in a university environment with the pull of Rowan Bay tugging at her heartstrings, or whether it had more to do with Brodie and the way he had let her down.
Afterwards, she drove to Edinburgh to stay with Nita for a couple of nights.
She knew chatting it through with her close friend would give her some perspective and hopefully help make sense of the swirl of thoughts inside her head.
But even as she navigated her way along the roads of the capital, which she knew so well, she started to realise she felt like an outsider.
Flora felt like a visitor to the city she had called home for the past three years.
Everything around her was familiar yet she felt like a stranger.
She didn’t quite belong, not in the way she had not so long ago.
‘Okay, so let me get this straight,’ said Nita, as she poured Flora a glass of wine.
‘You’re not sure whether or not you want to go back into teaching?
But would you stay in Rowan Bay? If so, what would you do exactly?
’ They were both sitting at the breakfast bar in Nita’s kitchen, picking at the platter of cheese she had put out.
There were wedges of crumbly cheddar, smoked cheese and a soft camembert along with crackers, olives and grapes.
‘I have a few ideas.’ Flora picked up the glass and took a sip.
‘It sounds crazy. I just feel like my life has been upended these past couple of months. And when I went for that interview, I just felt dead inside. I really wasn’t bothered and just went through the motions.
’ She shrugged. ‘Maybe I’ve just switched off and been in holiday mode for too long.
It’s been so nice being by the loch and having space to think and create. My head has been in a different zone.’
Nita raised an eyebrow. ‘But would you want to live there full-time?’ She sounded shocked. ‘I mean, what’s the appeal?’ She wrinkled her nose in disgust at the thought.
Flora could feel a smile start to spread across her face as she started to talk about the charm of Loch Lomond and the village of Rowan Bay.
The bakery, the pub, the bookshop, the high street and the inn.
And the people. She spoke about the ever-changing palette of colours in the sky, the surrounding hills, the loch and feeling like her creativity had been reignited.
She sighed as she thought about the scarves she’d been working on for the makers market in a couple of weeks’ time and her plans to revisit kilt making.
Thanks to her gran, Jessica, Gillian and Lily, she now felt as though she could do something different. She was capable of taking a chance.
‘Anyone would think you were talking about a bloke, you know,’ scoffed Nita, eyeing her suspiciously. ‘Your eyes have glazed over and you look all dreamy. Is there something else you want to tell me?’
Flora shook her head. She hadn’t mentioned much about Brodie to Nita as it had been such early days with him.
And now that he’d called a halt — just after they’d slept together — there wasn’t much point in getting into it.
Talking about Brodie would just drag her down and he definitely wasn’t the reason she was so enthusiastic about Rowan Bay.
Although, if you’d asked her the same question last week, she would have said he was a huge part of it.
But even with him having dumped her, she still couldn’t help but feel drawn to Rowan Bay.
It felt as though it was where she belonged.
‘Definitely not,’ she said briskly. ‘Unless you count the love I have for my morning swims in the loch.’
‘You are kidding me.’ Nita shuddered as she reached for a piece of cheddar and put it on top of an oatcake. ‘I can’t think of anything worse. The fact you go at Portobello is bad enough. I can imagine the loch would be even colder. It’s a horrific thought.’
Flora chuckled. ‘That’s because you’re a total princess, Nita.’ The only outdoor pool Nita had ever been in, unless she was sampling an infinity pool abroad, was the heated one at the posh hotel spa in the centre of Edinburgh. ‘You need to come and try it sometime.’
Nita looked at her as though to say, as if. ‘So, are there any hot men?’ she asked hopefully. ‘What about the guy who was working in your gran’s garden?’
Flora shrugged. ‘Mm, he’s moved on now . . . to another project,’ she added hastily. But she wondered what it might be like when she did see Brodie when she returned to the village.
‘When will you find out about the job in Aberdeen?’ asked Nita, helpfully changing the subject before Flora could dwell too long on Brodie.
‘Not for another week or so. They’re still interviewing for the post. If you’re sure it’s okay with you, I’ll stay tomorrow night and then head back to the west. I’ve a few errands to do tomorrow. And please remember you’re very welcome to come and stay for a weekend and visit Rowan Bay.’
‘Thanks, Flora. I will bear that in mind. And in the meantime, make yourself at home. I’m just so happy to see you. And I hope you come back. Although your tenant is absolutely loving your flat. I think you may have a repeat summer customer there if you want it.’
‘That’s good.’ It was strange not to be staying in her own place.
It was almost as though she’d stepped into someone else’s life for the summer and was floating between different places trying to figure out where she belonged.
But she reminded herself that the not knowing where she would end up was liberating, especially if she was open to all the possibilities.
She was not going to let Brodie impact on what was right for her life right now, no matter how much his rejection hurt.
She had to trust things would work out, maybe not in the way she had hoped with him but in the way they were supposed to for her.