Chapter Sixty
Brodie knew he had made a massive mistake by breaking things off with Flora.
Huge. At the time he told himself it was for the best when deep down he knew it was wrong.
And he’d told her they needed to cool things right after they’d slept together.
What a prize arsehole he was. No wonder she couldn’t wait to get away from him at the market last week and had thrown him a look of disdain.
He couldn’t blame her one bit. He had been the one to back off, telling himself that he couldn’t be responsible for causing her to worry that much when he was called out on a rescue.
He had told himself that it was better to end things sooner rather than later, especially when she was only going to be there for the summer.
But Brodie knew he was kidding himself. He was scared.
No, he was petrified of how much he had fallen for her.
Brodie didn’t care that she was only in Rowan Bay temporarily.
He would have given a long-distance relationship a go if she had wanted to.
He might even have moved with her if she had wanted him to as he was now realising that some kind of relationship with Flora was better than no relationship.
And now it was too late. He’d pulled out his phone hundreds of times, thumb hovering over the screen as he debated whether to call her.
He’d also typed out countless messages but he was never quite sure what to say.
When he’d read back his words, they seemed clumsy and inadequate so he’d deleted them.
He missed her beautiful smile, her laugh and the way she lit up his day whenever she was around.
He thought back to that day of the rescue and that passionate reunion on the shore.
In hindsight he wondered if he’d had a bang to his head to make him pull back and tell her that he needed some space.
He’d thought it was easier to back off but he hadn’t banked on being so miserable without her.
Or on just how much he missed being able to catch glimpses of her throughout the day, as had been the case when he’d been working at the boathouse.
He had now moved on to a landscaping job in a garden in Drymen.
It was the same project that Reuben had been providing his architectural services on and Brodie was glad for the company.
Sharing some banter with Reuben had taken his mind off the ache of longing he felt for Flora. For all of five minutes.
‘Right, mate,’ announced Reuben coming out of the main house and into the garden. ‘That’s me just about finished for the day. What do you say we go and grab a bite to eat at The Clachan?’
Brodie looked up at him, wiping his forearm against his brow. What he really wanted to do was go back to Rowan Bay, shower and then lie on the sofa and watch TV. ‘I feel a bit grubby,’ he said. ‘So perhaps best not.’
‘You look fine to me.’ Reuben’s voice was brisk. ‘Anyway, don’t you keep a spare T-shirt in the van?’
Brodie inwardly groaned, wishing Reuben didn’t know him so well.
‘Just get changed and then we’ll go. You look like you’ve pretty much finished up there.’
He had. He couldn’t even pretend that he still had lots to do as most of his gear was now packed away in the van.
‘Okay,’ he said reluctantly. ‘But don’t you want to get home and see your missus?
’ Brodie knew he was clutching at straws — and also that Reuben wasn’t going to let him get away with it.
Reuben shook his head. ‘We’re allowed to lead our own lives. Anyway, she’s out tonight.’ He paused before adding, ‘With the girls.’
Brodie didn’t miss the meaningful look Reuben threw his way and suspected he was going to get a lecture along with his dinner.
He quickly changed and they headed across the village square to The Clachan Inn. Luck — though that was debatable — was on their side as Reuben spotted a spare table.
‘Right, go on then,’ said Reuben as he joined Brodie at the table with two glasses of lemonade from the bar. ‘Tell me what’s going on. You’ve had a soor pus on you for the past couple of weeks.’
‘Don’t beat about the bush,’ grumbled Brodie, surprised to hear Reuben speak so candidly. He thought he’d done a good job of putting on a brave face but apparently he looked like a miserable sod.
Reuben gave him a sideways glance. ‘I’m your mate and I’m worried about you. You’ve been moping around and I’m pretty sure it’s to do with Flora.’
Brodie rubbed his hand over his face a couple times and his accompanying sigh was resigned. ‘I messed everything up,’ he said quietly.
‘What happened? I thought things were going well. I mean, it’s fairly obvious to all of us that you’re good together.’
Hearing those words from Reuben, who didn’t usually get involved in anyone’s love life, made him wince.
Brodie took a big slug of lemonade, trying to prolong the moment before he’d have to admit what an idiot he’d been.
‘That day when the boat was called out in the storm . . . Her face when my pager went off and the worry I caused her. I don’t want to be the one who causes someone to worry like that.
It’s not fair. We know, too,’ he gesticulated his hand between the two of them, ‘that she’d likely get fed up with the call-outs, me having to keep leaving her at a moment’s notice. Look what happened last time around.’
‘Did she tell you she felt that way or did you just come to this conclusion yourself, like the idiot you are? From where I’m sitting, mate, that sounds like a load of excuses — weak ones at that. You used to be grinning like a Cheshire cat whenever you two were together.’
‘I know, I know.’ Brodie held his hands up in defeat.
‘I panicked, okay. And told her I needed some space. As soon as I said it, I knew I’d made a mistake.
’ Brodie would never forget the look on Flora’s face that day when she’d gone to his flat with groceries, clearly worried about him.
He had no idea how deeply he had fallen for her until he suggested they take a step back — by which time the damage had been done.
He hoped to protect himself, to protect her.
But it was too late. Everything was a mess.
Reuben didn’t say anything for a moment. He nodded understandingly and took a sip of his drink. ‘What are you going to do about it then?’
Brodie clenched his jaw. ‘I don’t know. I saw her at the market the other week and she couldn’t get away from me fast enough.’ He looked at Reuben. ‘I need to fix it. But I don’t know how. I want to call her or text her but can’t get my words out right. I think it’s too late. I’ve screwed it up.’
Reuben picked up a menu and handed it to Brodie. ‘Decide what you want, let’s order and while we wait for some food, we can hatch a plan.’
Brodie couldn’t care less about food, but knowing Reuben wouldn’t say anything until he’d chosen, he ordered the fish and chips.
Last year, Reuben had been a prize idiot and nearly thrown away his chance with Jessica.
Perhaps if anyone could help him salvage things, it was his friend who’d been equally as idiotic as he was.
He sighed. ‘She’s everything to me Reuben, and I’ve lost the best thing to ever happen to me because I didn’t know what to do.
’ He thought about Flora. The way her eyes lit up whenever she saw him, the way she laughed at her gran and the birds, and found joy in almost everything.
She was always so happy and smiling. Until you stuffed it up, he reminded himself.
He remembered how she was with Lucy and Gregor that night they’d babysat together; the way she talked about her family and friends.
And the way she had looked when she had been in his bed. Then it hit him. He loved her.
‘Look,’ said Reuben, interrupting his thoughts, ‘if you care about her then you need to own it and take responsibility for screwing up. Be honest and explain why.’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘Most importantly, you need to grovel.’
Brodie managed a rueful smile. ‘Right.’
Reuben leaned forward. ‘You need to show her you care and how sorry you are.’
‘And how do I do that?’
‘With a romantic gesture. Something that will blow her mind and make her realise you’re not a complete pillock.’
Brodie steepled his hands together. ‘Like what? Turning up with a bunch of flowers isn’t going to work.’
Reuben smirked. ‘No, I think we might be beyond that.’ He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth while contemplating. ‘What might she like? What had you planned to do together when things were going well?’
Brodie sat in silence for a moment thinking.
She loved her textile work and making dresses and she had weaved those stunning scarves she’d been selling at the market.
She made curtains and loved cold-water swimming.
The loch was her happy place, she had said many times.
Then a thought sparked inside his head which made him grin.
Reuben raised an eyebrow. ‘What are you thinking?’
‘I’m thinking about the stuff she loves . . .’ He smiled.
Reuben smirked. ‘That sounds interesting. I’m just glad that whatever it is has finally wiped the miserable look from your face.’
For the first time in ages, Brodie felt a burst of hope ripple through him.
He had the perfect idea. If only he could pull it off.
And if only she would give him another chance.
After what he had done and how he’d treated her, he knew she was entitled to tell him to bugger off.
There was no guarantee she would want to listen to anything he had to say.
‘Well, if I can help with anything, then let me know,’ said Reuben knocking his glass against Brodie’s. ‘I’ll get Jessie on side.’ He winked, before frowning. ‘Though that may take some work. The girls are all very loyal to each other and Flora is now one of their own.’
Brodie sat back. He prayed he hadn’t left things too late and that he was in with some kind of a chance here. He had no idea what had happened with the job interview Flora had in Aberdeen. But he knew he needed to move quickly. Before she left Rowan Bay for good.