Alternate Chapter 19
Asta stretched and let out a yawn. The tourniquet had done its job and stopped the bleeding. Her injuries were not deep, but certainly had made an impact. Figuring the cloth had been tied on for multiple hours now, Asta released the knot and let it fall. The bleeding didn’t seem to start again.
Kaid watched her and did the same with the tie he had made above his thigh wound.
In her daze, she hadn’t remembered to ask him about his injuries, but he had remembered and treated hers, and guilt bloomed on her cheeks.
To her relief, his leg injury seemed to be clotted now as well, no thanks to her.
“I can’t sleep sitting up like this,” Asta said.
Immediately, Kaid took off his fur-lined cloak and laid it on the ground, patting it down.
Asta unbuttoned her cloak and slipped it off. “We can use this as a blanket,” she murmured as she laid down between layers.
“We?” Kaid asked.
Asta huffed a laugh, amazed that she could smile even under such circumstances. “We. I need you down here with me. For warmth purposes.”
It wasn’t a lie. It was autumn now and there was a brisk, salty breeze coming off the sea and making its way into the cave. They would freeze to death before the night was through if they didn’t use each other to stay warm.
Kaid didn’t object and slid between the cloaks, lying close but not touching her. His breath wheezed slightly as he settled.
“Do you have to breathe like that?” Asta huffed. He drove her mad.
“Oh, sorry, Princess. I’ll just stop breathing to please you,” Kaid quipped.
Asta hid her faint smile. “That would please me very much, thank you.”
They rested in silence, Asta trying to not think about how cold she truly was. She couldn’t stop her body from trembling, between the cold air and the last of her adrenaline draining from her.
Kaid’s closeness became very apparent to her, and she remembered that the last time they were in such tight proximity was that night in her bedroom. The night where he kissed her as a part of his torment.
His warmth slid closer to her, forming to the shape of her body. The heat he was letting off instantaneously made her shivering stop. The cold was still nipping at her, but it was much more bearable.
“For warmth purposes,” Kaid mumbled.
Asta tried to push away how right it felt to be up against him like this. How she wished he would wrap his arms around her and pull her in snugly.
A familiar, tight ball formed in her chest.
Kaid’s fingers dove into Asta’s hair, brushing downward to the tips and starting back at the top.
One, two, three…
“What are you doing?” she snapped, but couldn’t stop her instinctive counting.
Eight, nine, ten…
He chuckled. “Relax, Princess. I know you can’t sleep without.”
Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen…
Asta had been subconsciously counting his strokes already, but now she was focusing on them, hoping they would help relieve some of the tension in her chest.
Twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four…
Four more. Four more strokes and she could breathe. Four more strokes and she would be able to focus on the world around her again.
Twenty-eight.
Twenty-eight. The age my mother was when she died. When I killed her.
The ball in her chest released its grip on her thoughts.
She didn’t know why it worked when Kaid did it, but she couldn’t help but let a tear slip from the corner of her eye at the thought.
They had just been through something terrible and he still remembered.
He remembered her ritual and didn’t tell her to forget about it for a night; to let it go.
He didn’t remind her that it wasn’t important in comparison to the current danger they were in. He helped her.
Asta closed her eyes, wishing away the comfort it brought. She shouldn’t feel this way. Not about him.
A strong arm wrapped around her abdomen while another nudged her head to lift off the cave floor. When she set it back down, she realized that Kaid was providing her with a pillow using his own arm.
The emotions were undeniable now. There was no stopping them. At least not tonight.
Asta allowed her courage to take one final stand before it disappeared completely. “Was it all a game? Was I a game?”
Kaid’s body went rigid, his voice unsteady. “You’re the first thing in my life that hasn’t been.”
Asta swallowed loudly and scooted back so her body was pressed against Kaid’s. At first, he didn’t react to her movement and she worried that she had crossed a boundary. But his fingers start brushing against the fabric of her shirt, tracing lazy circles across her torso.
Kaid respectfully avoided any intimate areas within his path.
He traced a long line starting at her hip, gliding up her side, breezing past the side of her chest, tracing her collarbone, and running up the corner of her jaw.
Asta’s breathing hitched under his touch, all thoughts leaving her mind besides him.
He continued to trace the contours of her body, dipping his hand down to outline her thighs.
She backed into Kaid as hard as she could, unable to stop her hips from moving. What did it matter? They may die, anyway.
At first, Kaid paused when he felt her hips rocking, but then his fingers continued their circles with more purpose.
He leaned down, his warm breath coating the skin of Asta’s ear. “You’re safe,” he whispered.
Asta let out a small laugh, her skin mottling with raised bumps. “That simply can’t be true when I’m stuck in a cave with my greatest enemy.”
Her proclamation didn’t stop him from pressing his lips to her neck, each kiss deeper than the last. Asta craned her neck to allow him more access and he chuckled.
Kaid’s teeth grazed Asta’s earlobe before he asked, “Do you still hate me?”
“Yes,” Asta replied breathlessly.
She realized that was the answer he had wanted when Kaid’s lazy circles quickly turned to a grip on her abdomen.
“Tell me why,” he growled.
What was the reason? Because of his reputation? Because of his uncanny ability to show up everywhere she was? Because he matched her challenges and pushed back?
There was only one real answer which summed everything up.
“Because, Kaid, you are… insufferable. You drive me absolutely mad. And I hate that I enjoy it.”
Asta concluded that the sentiment was reciprocated when Kaid slipped his hand under her shirt and began palming her chest. She rolled onto her back and captured his mouth with hers, their kissing feverish and determined, much different than the kissing they had done in her bed.
Gods, she had wanted this for so long and refused to admit it. She might be able to tolerate him if he never spoke again and they lived in this moment for eternity.
One of Kaid’s fingers lightly brushed under Asta’s waistband and he pulled his mouth away from her, looking into her eyes with his turquoise gaze glistening in the moonlight, glowing like the bioluminescence of the sea.
“Will you hate me more if I keep going?” His finger continued tracing a line across her abdomen, back and forth.
“Yes,” Asta replied.
Kaid’s too-perfect-for-this-world smile slid across his lips and Asta nearly passed out from the sight of it.
He pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth before asking, “May I proceed anyway?”
Asta didn’t need a moment to think about her answer. She knew what she wanted. Damn the consequences—she would deal with them in the morning.
Her voice was hardly more than a whisper. “Yes.”
Kaid kissed her ferociously, his chest rumbling. He removed her trousers and tossed them aside.
“You wickedly cruel, beautiful thing. Please, hate me forever,” Kaid whispered.
She could hate him forever if this was what it meant. If this was what it led to.
Kaid dove between her legs, remaining there until waves of pleasure came over her.
She could do this every day. That was, if her sister wasn’t set to marry this man in less than a week.
Now that the lust was leaving her body, her mind cleared and reminded her of that. But in that moment, she didn’t care. Kaid helped her get dressed, knowing her arm was still sore from its injuries, and then nestled in next to her.
Tomorrow, she would be the pretty princess in the seaside castle who was happy for her sister for finding a husband.
Tonight, she was the warrior, fighting for what she wanted and seizing it.