Chapter 19 Willow
WILLOW
Birdsong wakes me, and the first thing I see are the majestic mountains and the trees swaying gently outside the window. I stretch lazily, feeling an ache in my muscles and a dull throb between my legs. Even my jaw aches from the epic session with Hudson last night.
My mouth twitches into a smile, thinking about how he captured my hands behind my back, how he tried to control me, and the surprised look on his face when I flipped the tables on him.
I bet he’s never had a woman call him a good boy before, and I chuckle to myself as I think about the big SEAL coming undone.
I briefly remember him carrying me up to bed and laying me on the mattress. I lift my head, expecting to find Hudson in the bed next to me, but I’m sprawled out in the middle of the bed by myself with the sheets tangled around my bare limbs.
I have a t-shirt on and vaguely remember Hudson pulling it over my head, mumbling something about catching a cold, before I passed out.
What should be his side of the bed is empty, and the pillow has no indent. He didn’t sleep next to me.
The realization brings more disappointment than it should.
Why would he? We had sex—epic, mind-blowing sex—but I’m the one who didn’t want to talk about what it might mean.
I didn’t want to put a name on it. I insisted we live in the moment.
So, I have no right to be disappointed that he didn’t sleep next to me afterward.
Yet I can’t shake the dull heaviness in my chest that wasn’t there when I woke up.
There’s movement next to the bed, and I peer over to find a sleepy Hudson tucked into his sleeping bag.
The heaviness lifts a little. He slept next to me, but on the floor and not on the bed like a normal man. But at least he didn’t remove himself downstairs.
His eyes peep open, his gaze locks on me, and he smiles. “Good morning.”
There’s two-day stubble on his jawline, and his hair is disheveled. Yet he really is the best-looking man I’ve ever laid eyes on.
“Morning, my good boy.”
He chuckles, and his smile widens, and I wonder if he’s remembering the moment like I am. And I wonder if it’s making him heated, like I am.
“You can never tell anyone I said that.”
“What happens in the cabin stays in the cabin.” I make a zipping motion across my lips.
I swing my legs over the bed, and Hudson sits up. “You’re not going to stand on me, are you?”
“You do make a habit of sleeping by my bed.”
I want to ask why he didn’t sleep in it, but I don’t want to hear his reasons. We had a fun night of power-play sex because we’re stuck here together and we’re bored. No cuddling required.
“You might have had another nightmare. I didn’t want you to wake up alone.”
And yet there he goes being thoughtful and sweet again. If he’d wanted to cuddle last night, I would’ve been up for it. I would’ve even let him be the big spoon.
He pulls his wrist up to check his watch, and the perimeter light is a steady green. It reminds me why we’re here, and a stab of guilt gets me.
“I’m going to check my email.”
I leave Hudson to roll up his bedding while I head downstairs.
In the kitchen, I expect to find water on the floor and butt marks on the bench.
But instead, there’s a strong smell of disinfectant and a neatly folded cloth, and our clothes are hanging by the fireplace.
He must have brought them in from outside and cleaned up after he put me to bed.
I bet he checked the perimeter outside too.
What a thoughtful guy. I would’ve been fast asleep, and maybe he thought it was weird to climb into bed with me afterward. I wouldn’t have minded, but Hudson does have his rules.
Grabbing a glass of water, I take it to the table where the laptop is charging alongside the burner phone. I flip it open and pull up my email.
There’s a sale on carpets and a newsletter from my favorite romance author, but nothing from my brother.
I close the laptop and take a deep breath.
“Any news?” Hudson peers over the side of the loft.
“Nothing.”
It’s been five days since Tyler last messaged me. He’s never gone that long without contact. I try to tell myself it’s because he’s living his new life, and everything’s fine. But I can’t shake the uneasiness.
“I’ll check in with Marcus.”
Hudson climbs down the ladder, and even the sight of his tight butt in his tighty-whities doesn’t lift my mood.
I take a sip of water, thinking about Tyler and trying to imagine him tucked up in bed nice and safe. Maybe with a girl he’s met. Or maybe he’s up early for the new job.
Please keep him safe. I say a silent prayer to whoever’s listening.
“Hey.” Hudson puts a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll find him, Willow.”
He’s all confidence, and I want to believe him. I just hope it’s before the Kings get to him. “If they find him first…”
I leave the sentence unfinished, because my mind fills with all the things they could do.
Hudson grips me by both shoulders. “Don’t spiral, Willow.”
I look at him, his eyes as gray and steady as stone, and a thread of calm weaves into my mind.
“We’re putting together a plan to deal with the Street Kings. We’ll get them, and we’ll find your brother. We’ll deal with it.”
He squeezes my shoulder, and it’s reassuring. If I just focus on Hudson, I can keep everything else below the surface.
I focus on the heat radiating from his touch, his big hands on my shoulders.
Remembering the way his hands and mouth worked me last night, the way he made me forget for a while about everything.
I focus on the playfulness and the control and how I surprised him and made him come apart.
And how desperately I want to do that again.
What I try not to think about is the disappointment that he didn’t sleep next to me and what that might mean.
I take a long breath and give him my best flirty smile. “You’ll deal with it like my good boy.”
His lips twitch up, and the smile I give him is almost genuine.