Chapter 11 Brooke
brOOKE
The day passes in a blur. I move between student groups, watching and assessing and stepping in when needed. I barely see Joel. He flits between groups, keeping a respectful distance, helping them move their supplies and ensuring they all come back to the hall for lunch.
I notice he gives Dana her space, watching from the sidelines as she sets up her interview with the indigenous liaison at the camp.
He chats amiably with the boys. Even Justin hangs on his every word, listening to an adult for once.
Everyone likes Joel. He has that aura about him, easygoing and friendly. But I see the military man underneath. The way he scans the treeline, a habit he probably doesn’t know he has. And the fact that he was up at silly o’clock to go running in the woods.
When I woke up to the smell of coffee and him standing before me, his t-shirt plastered to his body with sweat, I thought I was still dreaming.
No one should look that good after a jog, but somehow Joel pulls it off.
The muscles in his arms were bursting out of his t-shirt and slick with sweat.
They’re the kind of arms that could pin a girl down, or pin me against the wall, hold me up as his body presses against mine…
These types of thoughts have been invading my brain all day, making it difficult to concentrate.
I’m both eager and anxious as I mount the steps to the dining hall.
When you’ve been imagining someone pinning you to the wall all day, it’s hard to look them in the eye and talk about the rabbit stew the kitchen staff cooked, which, I’ve got to say, is a poor choice for a group of teenagers staying in Rabbit camp.
I line up to get my stew and am relieved to see Joel sitting at Dana’s table. His gaze follows me across the room, and I sit with my back to him at Madison’s table.
“Is it far tomorrow?” Madison asks, trying to hide her anxiousness. She doesn’t like mountain roads or min-buses, she confessed to me, which explains why she packed so randomly to get here. She must have been anxious on the morning we set out.
“Only half an hour up the road,” I reassure her.
“What if it rains? Bruce said it might rain.”
“What do you think we should do if it rains?”
She seems stunned that I’m asking her instead of providing a solution. She wants reassurance, but I want to see if she can find it herself.
“I guess we could do the interviews inside.”
“Great idea.”
She beams, and all traces of anxiety disappear. It’s a small victory, but it’s moments like this that I love my job.
I regret putting my back to Joel. I can hear his voice carrying above the students. He’s animated and laughing. It gives him energy, to be around people.
After dinner, the students help to wash up, and I brief them about tomorrow. By the time I’m ready to head to the cabin, a light rain is falling.
I only came out in a t-shirt because the sun was shining when we came in to dinner two hours ago. My coat is hanging by the door in the cabin where I left it. I’ve got my folder full of notes that I don’t want to get wet, but I’ll have to make a dash for it.
The students head out into the night, laughing as they run through the rain. They have no fear of getting wet, and their energy is infectious. It’s just a little water, I tell myself. My notes will dry.
I stand by the door, watching the rain get heavier and the last of the students scurry down the path toward the lights of the cabins. The rain has cooled the air, and I shiver in the darkness.
“Take my coat.”
Joel’s voice is a murmur behind me, and my body shivers with the thrill of his voice. I feel a weight on my shoulders as he drapes his coat around me. It smells of him, pine and coffee, and a unique scent that’s all Joel.
I’m about to protest, but he jogs down the steps and into the rain wearing nothing but his sweatpants and white t-shirt.
He doesn’t flinch in the rain, and a few feet away he turns back. “Are you coming?”
The rain makes splashes on his t-shirt, causing the fabric to cling to his skin. My gaze lingers on his torso and the muscles under the t-shirt. The t-shirt that’s getting wetter the longer he stands waiting for me.
I tuck my folder under his jacket and jog down the steps. He falls into step next to me as I jog towards the cabins. I’m not a runner, and my pace is a slow jog, but Joel keeps pace with me rather than going ahead.
By the time we reach the cabin, my hair is plastered to my face and his coat is slick with rain.
Joel goes in first and hands me a towel. I dump my things and run the towel through my hair. When I glance up, Joel is peeling off his wet t-shirt. The pounding of the rain on the cabin roof hides my gasp.
Muscles ripple as he tugs the wet fabric over his head. His skin is tanned, and a single scar threads its way from his underarm to the back of his shoulder. He’s facing the wall, and as he drops the wet shirt on the ground, he turns around.
Too late, I tear my gaze away from his torso. His gaze meets mine, and I close my suddenly dry mouth.
Joel raises an eyebrow, a look of amusement on his face. He’s caught me staring, and a surge of heat travels up my neck. I spin away quickly and hold out the towel towards him.
“Sorry, I didn’t know you were getting undressed.”
He takes the towel, and I hear him rubbing it over his head. I make myself busy checking my folder, although it’s all dry. Not until I hear him unzip his bag, then the soft sounds of fabric rustling, and I’m certain he’s put a top on, do I risk turning around.
Joel may have a dry t-shirt on, but he’s still the sexiest man I’ve ever seen. I grab my folder, needing a distraction. There’s nowhere to go to get away from him, so I sit at the small table with my back to the hunk of hot man roaming around my cabin.
I try to concentrate on my notes, but I’m aware of exactly where Joel is in the cabin. I hear him at the sink filling the kettle, and a few moments later, he slides a steaming mug of chamomile tea in front of me.
“Mind if I join you?”
He sinks into the chair next to mine before I can answer. His presence makes my heart race, and he’s too there, too present, taking up space in the cabin and my mind. But where else is there to go?
He pulls out a paperback, and I’m relieved he doesn’t want to talk. I don’t think I can keep my voice steady with him so close.
It’s only the rain pounding on the roof that masks the sound of my heart beating against my rib cage.
I lean over my notes and will myself to concentrate. I go down the list of student names, taking notes about each one. If I can stick to the list of names, it will give my sanity something to cling onto.
Most of the students are embracing the assignment, but there are one or two I need to speak with tomorrow who don’t seem to have a direction yet.
As I make notes in the margins, my heart begins to calm. I realize I’m not going to make an inappropriate grab for Joel; I can sit next to him without falling apart, or drooling, or grabbing his arms and licking his muscles.
I can be a grown-ass professional woman who doesn’t fall apart at the sight of a hot man.
Feeling somewhat calmer, I close the folder and take a sip of tea. Joel looks up from his book. His hair is damp, and it looks darker, making him even sexier, if that’s possible.
I let out a long, steadying breath, wondering if it’s too soon to escape to my bed and away from the temptation in sweatpants sitting next to me.
“It seemed to go alright today.”
I swallow hard and bring my mind back to the students. The reason I’m here. The students who I’m responsible for.
“Justin only broke one camp rule, so that’s not too bad.”
“What did he do?”
“I found him by the Wolf area filming the fallen tree and the damage to the cabin. His theme is living with nature, so it does make sense. I just wish he had asked so he could do it under supervision.”
I’m relieved I’m able to make normal conversation, and that Joel has no idea of the turmoil raging inside me.
Joel frowns. “I’ll keep a closer eye on him tomorrow.”
“He’s a good kid.” I feel like I have to defend my students. They’re all good kids, just some are wired differently than others. “He just think rules don’t apply to him.”
Joel chuckles. “I’ve met a few guys like that. Almost every man who was on my SEAL team. It can be a good life skill, if he can make it through high school.”
I take a sip of tea and peer at him over the rim of my mug. “That’s a nice perspective. Most teachers write Justin off as a troublemaker.”
“The way they write my daughter off as a slacker.” There’s pain in his voice, and on instinct I reach my hand out and put it over his forearm.
“Dana is anything but a slacker. She just needs to be interested.”
Joel leans forward in his chair, and suddenly our faces are inches apart. I’m aware of his warm skin under my hand and the amber swirls in his brown eyes.
“Thank you for seeing her.”
He holds my gaze, and I’m rooted to the spot, unable to look away from him.
His muscles twitch under my fingers. My breath hitches, and it’s suddenly too hot in here.
My body slants toward his, drawn to him by an invisible magnet, a force greater than both of us pulling us together.
My lips part and his pupils dilate. His warm breath dances over my lips.
Then I remember where we are and the students in the cabins next to us. I remember that he’s the father of one of those students, and if we’re caught making out on the school camping trip, I’ll lose my job.
My heart pounds against my rib cage as I push my chair back. I take my empty mug to the sink, needing to put some space between us. I grip the edges of the sink, trying to bring my racing heart and mind under control.
“I’d better go check on the students.” My voice shakes, and I can’t look around in case I find him behind me. I won’t be able to pull away a second time.
“It’s still raining. I’ll go.”
I hear Joel get up from his seat. I turn around as he takes his wet coat from the hook by the door.
His voice is steady; his movements swift.
There’s no sense of the turmoil that I’m feeling in him.
Perhaps I imagined the moment. Perhaps I imagined the look of desire in his eyes and the way his lips parted to meet mine.
Whether I imagined it or not, there’s no place for it here.
I have students to look after and a reputation to protect.
I rely on the reference from one job to get me the next.
I can’t throw that all away for a kiss with the parent helper on a school camping trip.
I shake my head, clearing it of thoughts of Joel’s warm breath on my lips and focus on the present moment.
“I’ll do the girls’ cabins if you do the boys.” I slip on my coat and put the rain hood up. And a moment later we head into the night.
The cool night air and the heavy rain drops banish the last of the heat from body. But my gaze tracks Joel as he jogs to the far cabins, drawn to him by an unseen force that is bigger than the both of us.