13. Amos
AMOS
B ang, bang, bang
The pungent smell of gunpowder fills the air, bringing back memories of hard stone roofs under a desert sky and a hundred other missions.
The rifle feels good in my hands, and I reluctantly sit up and peel my ear defenders off.
"Nice shooting."
Marcus's New Zealand accent draws out the vowels and makes him sound relaxed.
But a moment later he's lying flat with the rifle lined up and a killer look in his eyes that's anything but relaxed.
I was never in Marcus's SEAL team, but I’d heard about the Kiwi, the short wiry guy always joking around, but deadly on a mission.
He raises his gun and fires off six rounds, dropping his sights slightly for the final shot.
I frown at him, and he grins as he punches the button to bring the targets back. They're an outline of a person, and all six of my shots make up one big hole right between the eyes.
I check Marcus's and there's a hole in the same place, another between the eyes, and one lower down, in the groin.
He grins at my confused expression. "I like to give 'em one in the balls."
Marcus pulled some strings and got us a session at the police shooting range. It's the only local range that has targets shaped like people, and they don't mind opening up for veterans.
"Do you miss it?" Marcus asks.
I breathe in the scent of gunpowder, and it reminds me of nights in the desert hiding out on rooftops and other missions from my old life.
"Every fucking day."
Marcus nods. "Me too, bro. Me too."
We change out the target and send it back to the end of the range.
"It's a big ask to give it all up," says Marcus
I think about my career, and I think about Sam. "It's the right thing to do."
"What will you do for work? Not much call for a sniper outside of the military."
He's right, which is why I asked Joel to join us today. Joel was Ed and Jake's SEAL commander until he left the military. He's opening a veteran's center in Jake's honor called Jake's Retreat. I've been meaning to go and see him, but with all the prep for Sam I haven't had a chance.
"Something will turn up."
"I'd be back in if I could." Marcus slides a fresh magazine into the chamber of his rifle. "I miss the excitement. No offense to your hometown, but Hope's kind of dull."
He's not wrong. It's dull for a man with a lot of energy who wants adventure. It's perfect for a boy who needs stability and a steady upbringing.
"It depends on what you're looking for."
He lies down and lines up his rifle. "I'm restless here. It's great helping Joel out with the center, but I'm like a caged animal. I need the adrenaline."
"Take up skydiving."
He chuckles. "I'm trying to convince Joel to offer skydiving classes at his center, but the overheads are too much."
He fires off another round, and I do mine. While we're changing over the targets, Marcus says, "I did some digging into Sofia Eaves for you."
It takes me a moment to realize what he's talking about. "Jake’s letters."
"Yeah. The ones Avery mentioned."
"Did you find anything?"
He fiddles with the scope of his rifle. "There are two women by that name in the state of North Carolina. One is in a nursing home in Greenville."
"It's unlikely it's her. I can't think of a reason Jake would be writing to a senior citizen."
"She might have been his pen pal," he jokes.
I shake my head but am unable to muster up a chuckle. "And the other?"
Marcus sets his rifle down and squints at me. "The other is a middle-aged woman in Charlotte."
I frown. "Maybe older women were his thing."
"Not this older woman. She married her long-term partner in a civil ceremony the day same sex marriage became legal."
I'm about to ask where Marcus gets his information but decide it’s best not to know.
"She's gay?"
Marcus nods. "She's also a psychologist."
He lets that hang in the air while he slides another round into the barrel.
"You think Jake was writing to a therapist?"
Marcus shrugs. "I don't know. I haven’t seen the letters, and we don't know if this is the Sofia Eaves we're looking for."
If Jake needed to talk to someone, the military provides services. "There are military shrinks if he needed someone to talk to."
Marcus gives me a wary look. "How many times did you see a military shrink?"
"A few. I had to after Jake died. My commander made it a condition for coming back on the team."
Marcus gives me a pointed look. "How many times did you see one voluntarily?"
He has a good point. If you ask to see a therapist, they might think you've got problems and pull you off the team. I'm willing to bet no team guy ever saw a therapist voluntarily.
"Never. If the commander got wind of me seeing a head doctor, he might’ve thought I wasn’t fit for missions."
"Exactly. It's like a regular doctor. I avoided them like the plague, but they got me in the end."
He frowns and looks away. I'm not sure why Marcus was honorably discharged from the military, but he's mentioned medical issues before.
It's possible Jake was seeing a therapist and writing letters to her. It's plausible, but without knowing the contents of the letters I can't know for sure.
If Jake was having mental health issues, does that explain why he ran into the building with explosives? Our line of work can lead to dark thoughts, and it's not easy to reconcile the things we have to do. Did it get to be too much for Jake?
I scrape a hand down my face. I don't want my family to hear about this.
"Did you tell Avery about this?"
Marcus shakes his head. "I can't speak two words to your sister without Ed staring me down."
"Good. Keep it to yourself. I don't want to upset her."
"All good." Marcus grins. "I'm good at keeping secrets."
I look up as Joel strides onto the shooting range. He's carrying a hunting rifle, and he stops in the booth next to ours.
"You boys talking or shooting?"
Marcus fires off a round, and I do another while Joel sets up.
I rest my rifle against the wall to watch him.
"I hear you're taking on Jake's kid."
I'm not surprised word has spread about Jake's secret son. Half the veterans in town work for Joel.
"You heard right."
Joel lines up his rifle and pops off a couple of rounds. The rifle presses into his stubble-lined cheek.
"It's a tough road being a single parent."
Joel was a SEAL commander until his wife got ill. He left the military to raise their teenage girls after she passed away. Judging by the hole right between the eyes of his target, he hasn't lost his ability to shoot.
"I'm not his parent. I'm his uncle."
Joel nods slowly. "For all intents and purposes, you're about to become that boy’s father, the most influential role model a boy can have. Are you ready for that, Amos?"
It seems everyone in this town doubts my ability to raise a child. Hell, I doubt myself, but I don't want to show that openly to Joel. "How hard can it be?"
Joel fixes me with a steely stare. "Parenting is hard. Some days I long for the ease of the Afghan desert and the simplicity of tracking down bad guys. I'll take a SEAL mission any day over trying to negotiate with two teenage girls."
He shakes his head, but there's a smile on his face. "It's a tough gig. If you need help, I'm here for you. Dana is old enough to babysit if you need time out. Although I'm sure your family will be there for you too."
"Thanks Joel. I appreciate it, but what I really need is a job."
He grins. "I thought you'd never ask."
The construction for Jake's Retreat started five months ago, but it stalled over the winter so there's still a lot to do.
"You got any construction experience?"
I shake my head. "I'm a quick learner."
"I've got local contractors doing the building, but they need workers. If you don't mind hard labor, we've got a few months of work ahead of us yet."
"I'll take it. Whatever you can give me."
He nods appraisingly. "Good. That's the attitude you need now that you're a dad. Whatever it takes to provide for the boy."
"I'm not his dad," I mutter, but the word stirs something inside me.
I always thought having kids is something I'd get around to one day. The military has been my life for so long, and I've never met anyone I wanted to get serious with.
"When the center is built, there's a role for you if you want it.
" Joel slides a fresh magazine into the chamber.
"I'll need guys to run the programs. There are going to be week-long camps for veterans to get them back out using their bodies and building their confidence.
I need men who can lead and inspire. It's not as exciting as a SEAL mission, but it's important work. "
"I'll lead the skydiving," Marcus says.
"No skydiving." Joel shakes his head. "Sorry buddy. We're doing hiking and outdoor skills."
Marcus makes a face. "I'm not sure it's right for me. Sorry Joel. I'm here for the construction but I don't know what my next move is."
"Don't you have land back in New Zealand?" Joel asks.
Marcus scrunches his face up. "My dad's got a small farm. I don't think growing vegetables is for me though."
Joel turns back to me.
"I'll give your details to the construction company. We'll talk about something more permanent when I'm clear on the programs we're running."
We shake hands, and I leave the range feeling lighter. I have secured a job. I'm one step closer to becoming a regular civilian.