Chapter 20 Allegra
ALLEGRA
Marcus wraps his arms around me, and I lean into him.
I’m exhausted but restless. The day’s events replay in my mind.
The gunshots, Marcus swinging over the edge when I thought he was falling, their struggle and the gun I fired.
My hands feel heavy with the weight of it, as if it’s imprinted into my palms.
I have the samples, but the victory feels hollow. As if I gave too much.
Marcus’s eyes are shadowed in the flickering glow from the embers. He’s masking the pain of his shoulder and his own exhaustion. He’s put them aside to take care of me. He’s carried me through this, and he’s still carrying me.
A surge of gratitude courses through me, along with something deeper.
I reach inside me for the fire, the hunger that gnaws at my insides. The hunger pushing me on through university, through post grad, the hunger to prove myself on my own. But it’s gone. With Marcus, I don’t have to prove myself. I simply am.
“Marcus…” I tilt my head up, and his eyes find mine.
I don’t know what I want to say, only that I need to speak. I feel raw and fragile, and for the first time, that’s okay. I don’t want to be strong tonight. I just want to be.
My hand touches his injured arm. “I’m sorry.”
He gives me a half-smile. “Don’t be sorry. I’ve been patched up from worse.”
My fingers trace down his arm and over the tribal tattoos that lace around his forearm, the intricate swirling patterns that I don’t recognize.
“What do these mean?” I suddenly want to know everything there is to know about Marcus.
He keeps his gaze on me as my finger traces the swirl of his tattoo.
“It’s the banner of my iwi. My father’s people.” There’s a hint of pride in his voice. “My grandfather was Māori.”
On the other arm is the SEAL trident. Both his cultures inscribed on his skin.
“Do you miss New Zealand?”
My finger swirls around the underside of his arm, and his body tenses under my touch.
“My sister wants me to go back and help with the farm,” he says quietly.
“Will you?” I keep my eyes on his tattoo, my finger moving in a slow circle as I follow the lines.
I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until he answers.
“I don’t know.”
He’s been honest with me. And I appreciate it even as my heart clenches. He might leave, and that should be fine. I have no claim on him.
But it isn’t.
I finish tracing the tattoo, and Marcus slides a finger under my chin, tilting my face to look at him.
“I’m here now, Allegra.”
The words are reassuring, and they come with a new meaning. He’s here now for tonight. We have tonight, and beyond that, nothing else is certain.
I lean forward, and my lips brush his, gently, then more forcefully. If he’s just here for the night, then I want this. I need this.
He hesitates, and I sense his confusion. I’m a mission to him. He’s working for my father. He’s just seen me at my most vulnerable, and he cared for me. But I need this. I need him.
“You won’t break me.”
I feel the moment he yields. His lips press against mine hungrily, and we both surrender to what we want.
His mouth against mine is insistent, and I give in to him. His hand slides around to the nape of my neck, and he cups my head, drawing me toward him.
My body bumps up against his, and I feel every hard part of him. His muscular chest, his torso, and the twitching length of his desire.
It sends electric currents through my body, and I press against him, grinding my hips so there’s no denying my intentions.
He breaks the kiss and takes my head in his hands.
“Are you sure about this, Allegra?” His voice is croaky; his control almost snapped.
“Yes, Marcus. I need this.”
How do I describe the hunger in me? The desire to do something beautiful to cover the horror of the day. The need to feel his body against mine. To sink into someone, the only person who takes me for who I am.
“I don’t want to be strong tonight. I just want you.”
Saying it out loud makes my chest ache. I hate showing weakness. But with Marcus, it feels like trust. I can trust Marcus with my vulnerability, with every raw part of me.
He scans my face, and he must see my need there because he doesn’t ask any more questions. Instead, he kisses me hard, making me forget where I am.
He peels off my thermal, and I do the same with his t-shirt. This time I want no barriers between us. My chest presses against his, my nipples rubbing against hard muscles.
His hands slide down my back slowly and deliberately, and tension eases away with every touch.
His gaze travels down my body and feasts on my breasts. “Allegra…” His voice is a croaky rasp. His gaze comes back to my face. “You’re beautiful. All of you.”
And I know he’s not just talking about my body.
His hands slide over my shoulders and down my chest until he’s cupping my breasts. His callused fingers brush my nipples, and I arch my back, pressing myself into his hands, wanting more of his touch, more of him.
A moan escapes my lips, and he presses his mouth to my breasts and sucks a nipple between his teeth.
The sharp sting of pain, then the wet heat of his mouth, has me writhing against him. His stubble scrapes the soft skin of my chest. I moan, not bothering to cover my mouth. Tonight, there’s no one around to hear us. It’s just the two of us and the forest.
He brings his head up to meet mine, and when we kiss, it has a new hunger, a new need. I fumble with his pants, needing to feel all of him.
He pulls back and whispers my name. “Are you sure?” His expression is soft, and he’s still protecting me, making sure I won’t get hurt.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
I slide my hand between his thighs and wrap it around his thick length. Marcus groans at the contact, and any last resistance disappears from his features. He’s not the soldier now. He’s the man.
“Take these off.”
He tugs at my leggings, and I try to shimmy out of them, but get caught up in the sleeping bag. I let out a nervous giggle.
“This would be easier on a bed.”
Marcus shuffles down in the sleeping bag, wincing as his shoulder knocks against me.
“I’ve never liked easy.”
With a gentleness that makes my chest ache, he slides my leggings and panties down my legs and off the ends of my feet. Then, he slides back up to face me.
Our naked bodies press together, sending a current racing through me. The first contact is electric, and Marcus groans as his cock presses into my belly. Sticky desire seeps out of the tip, and he grips my shoulders. His eyes flicker shut, and he takes a deep breath, steadying himself.
He won’t give in to his desire, not yet. And that, more than anything, breaks me wide open.
He touches me with tender strokes. My arms, my belly, my hair. Exploring every deep part of me until I’m quivering under his touch.
Only then does he slide a hand between my legs and stroke my most sensitive places.
“Allegra.” He whispers my name like a prayer, and I whimper a response. “You’re so wet.”
It’s all for him. And I want to tell him, but he presses his palm against my clit and all words flee my mind.
I shatter at his first touch, coming undone on his palm. It catches me off guard, and I can’t breathe as the release surges through my body.
It was embarrassingly quick, and as he moves his hand against me, I grab it in mine. I don’t want a repeat of the other night. I want all of him.
My hand closes around this thick length, and I tug softly, drawing him toward me.
Our eyes lock, and in his I see my own need reflected.
“Are you sure?” he asks again. His voice is husky, and despite his need, he’s still putting me first.
“I need you, Marcus. I’m on the pill, and I haven’t been with anyone for a long time.”
His eyes narrow. “Me neither. I’m clean.”
We lock eyes, and his breathing becomes ragged. My hand moves slowly, caressing him up and down his full length with both palms, drawing him nearer to me.
His eyes darken and go hooded, and I feel the moment he gives in to his desire.
Our lips meet, and our bodies are slick with sweat. I slide my thigh over his, and he pulls my hips toward him.
He slides into me slowly and steadily and tender like every damn movement that came before.
He grips my hips and sinks deeper, hissing out a breath from between his teeth. I gasp as he fills me up, and I wrap my leg around him.
My chest feels as full as my body, and I bite down on the words that bubble to the surface, the emotion that makes me gasp and cling onto him as if I’m drowning and he’s the anchor.
Our bodies slide together until the friction has me falling over the edge. I dig my fingers into his back and cry out his name as I fall apart.
While I’m still trembling, Marcus rolls me over, for the first time treating me as something other than fragile.
He winces as his shoulder knocks against mine.
“Is it hurting?”
He settles between my legs and runs a hand over my cheek. “Not enough to make me want to stop.”
I throw my other thigh around him, locking him into me with my legs. He sinks in deeper, and we both groan.
His gaze meets mine, and he presses tender kisses to my lips, my forehead, and when my eyes roll backwards, to my closed lids.
Every thrust comes harder than the last, even as his kisses are achingly gentle.
Heat builds between us until our bodies are slick with sweat.
“Allegra…” He grunts out my name, and it grounds me, making me feel every inch of him.
His lips caress my neck, my throat, my breasts. He touches every part of me, and my body hums as the pressure builds until I can’t stand it any longer.
“Marcus, I’m going to…”
I don’t finish my sentence as the climax breaks over me.
I call his name as I buck my hips. My fingernails dig into his back as I cling to my anchor.
A moment later, his body tenses and then releases, and I tighten my thighs around him as he shudders against me.
When it’s over, we lie entangled for a long time. I rest my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, still racing.
For once, I don’t feel the urge to pull away. Instead, I whisper the truth that scares me more than anything. “You make me feel safe.”
He kisses the top of my head and tightens his arms around me.
We fall asleep surrounded by the sounds of the forest.