Chapter 23 Marcus
MARCUS
“You going to drink that or hold its hand all night?” Hudson indicates the pint glass in my hand, still almost full to the top while his is empty.
He watches me expectantly, and usually I’d have something clever to say, but not tonight. I take a sip of the beer, but the larger feels heavy in my stomach.
“I guess you don’t want another?” Hudson slips out of the corner booth and heads to the bar.
We’re at The Landing after having a debrief in Joel’s office at the retreat.
It wasn’t the ideal space, all of us cramped in there bumped up against Joel’s table with plans for the retreat spread out over it.
It’s his temporary office in a prefab building while he gets the retreat finished up, not a debriefing space for a mission.
Still, I’m grateful Joel and Hudson could help out as support.
If I’m going to take another contract, I’ll need my own space, my own permanent team, my own gear…
I run a hand over my stubble, the stubble that only a few hours ago, Allegra had her hands all over. I’ve showered since I got back and put on fresh clothes, but the stubble stays.
I think about Allegra and how her father whisked her away before I could say goodbye.
When we landed with so much press attention, I had to hang back. As a SEAL, we never seek the spotlight, and it’s a habit that’s stuck. I faded into the background. It’s what I do; it’s what I’m trained to do. I just hope she understood that.
But I listened to her speak, and my chest swelled with pride. The way she carried herself, with confidence and certainty, her determination and passion came through.
I thought there would be a chance to speak afterwards, but her father whisked her away and straight back to Boston. And she took a piece of my heart with her.
Hudson slides into the booth with a fresh beer and his phone in his hand. “You should see this.” He tilts the screen so I can read the headline: Professor Arrested in Money for Grant Scandal.
There’s a photo of a thin man in glasses, Professor Wainwright, being led away by police.
After our debrief, we handed over the information Hudson had dug up for us to the authorities.
Along with Allegra’s samples, Future Enterprises has a lot to answer for.
It turns out they’ve been lying about the runoff for years and paying off institutions from research labs to government officials to hide the truth.
They caught the CEO at the airport attempting to flee to Peru.
Allegra’s research still needs to be verified, but the shock waves she’s created are unstoppable.
“Your girl did good.” Hudson gives the understatement of the year.
“Yeah, she did.”
But she’s not my girl. I let her slip away without even saying goodbye.
“What’s next?” Hudson asks. “You going to look for more contracts?”
I shrug my shoulders, and it sets off the ache of my injury. I wince and rub the sore spot. It will need physio, and I’ll have to strengthen it at the gym. I may not be in peak condition for the military, but I’m not ready to go out to pasture yet.
“I loved it out there,” I admit. “It felt good to be on a mission again.”
Hudson nods as if he understands.
“My sister needs help with the farm, but I need the action. I need the adrenaline. And I’m damned good at it.”
I sip my beer and voice the idea that’s been going around in my head. “I’m thinking of starting a security firm.”
Hudson raises his eyebrows. “Oh yeah?”
“I’ll need a good team.”
There’s a spark of interest in his eyes.
“Do you know anyone?” I tease.
Hudson shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “You can’t afford me.” He takes a sip of beer. “Seriously though, if you’re putting a team together, I’m up for it. Beats laying concrete for Joel.”
His face turns serious. “I won’t be around for a few days though. An old buddy got caught up in a bad mission, and he’s not in a good way.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Ryan was on my team before I got out. We went through BUD/s together. You know how it is.”
I nod at his words. Anyone who survived Hell Week alongside you is a brother for life.
“What happened?”
Hudson frowns. “Details are hazy.”
Not uncommon in the Teams. Most information about missions is classified, especially when something goes wrong.
“He caught the wrong end of an explosion. I’m driving to Kentucky to see him tomorrow. He lost a leg.”
I wince at the news and look down at my beer. That’s the risk we take as special forces. Not everyone comes back whole.
“Shit, bro. That’s tough.”
“He’s taking it bad. Refusing to speak to his family. They pleaded with me to try to see him.”
He rubs the bridge of his nose. “It’s going to take time.”
I’m reminded of how lucky we are. I left with injuries, aches and pains, but I’ve got all my limbs.
My phone buzzes with a text, and it’s from my sister.
It will be around 1100 hours in New Zealand, a good time to speak.
“I need to call my sister,” I tell Hudson. “Then I’m going to head home. I’m whacked.”
I leave him nursing his beer and head to the parking lot as I bring up Keely’s number.
She picks up immediately.
“You were easier to get ahold of when you were in the military.”
My sister’s as sarcastic as me, and her tone puts a grin on my face. “Maybe I’m avoiding you.”
She cackles. “Nah. More likely you’ve been off somewhere saving the world. Doing something much more interesting than trying to figure out soil rotation and where to plant the seedlings this year.”
I scratch my ear. “That does sound much more interesting.”
She sighs into the phone. “So are you coming over here to help or not?”
I take a deep breath. Keely puts on a brave face, but taking over Dad’s farm was hard. It’s a struggle to run a place like that on your own. I own half the farm, I’m out of the military, it’s a nice community, my father’s people are there, and Keely needs the help.
I feel the pull of family, of my responsibility as the head of the family now. Although if I tried to say that to my sister, she’d probably punch me.
The logical move would be to go back and help her run the farm.
But I’ve never done the logical thing. My gut tells me to stay—that my home is here now, where my mother’s people are from, where my SEAL brothers are. Home is the country I served, and the place where the woman I love is.
I take a big breath, ready to be honest with Keely and with myself. “I’m not coming back to New Zealand.”
She lets out a long sigh. “I knew you were going to say that. But I hoped otherwise.”
“Sorry, Keels. I’ll help you find someone to help with the place. And when you’re ready, you can buy me out if that’s what you want. Then it will all be yours.”
She goes silent.
“If that’s what you want, Marcus.” I’m reminded of Keely as a girl, running through the fields in her gumboots, hair wild and tangled, me chasing her with the scent of earth and straw in the air.
For some, it’s an idyllic life, working the land. But it’s not the life for me. I choose something different. I choose to serve, and I’m not done yet.
Only this time, it’s a different type of service I want to sign up for.
“It sounds like you’ve got something going on over there.”
“I have.” I think of Allegra, her steely determination, her strength, and the fight in her when she spoke to the press. And the other side of Allegra, her vulnerability and the raw openness that she let me see. Only me.
I’ve honed my instincts over years in the special forces, and I've learned to always trust my gut.
My gut is telling me there’s something I need to do. A final mission and the scariest one of all.
“I have to go.”
“Don’t disappear again, Marcus.” Keely sounds vulnerable too for the first time, and I’m reminded that my strong sister has her vulnerable side too. “It’s been hard since Dad passed. I want to know you’re out there and keeping safe.”
“I’m here, sis. And I’ll come back for a visit real soon.”
We sign off, and I pocket my phone as I head for my car.
There’s somewhere I need to be.