10. Time Bombs & Kisses
TIME BOMBS & KISSES
LAKE
“Livy? Are you sure you don’t want me to take you home?” Carson asks.
I don’t say anything. I know I was an asshole to her.
She’s also skittish as fuck around me. It wouldn’t surprise me if she takes Carson up on his offer.
I can’t even blame her. If I were her, I wouldn’t want to be around me either.
Shit, it might be better for both of us if she did.
When I grabbed her arm before, instant heat ran through my body.
It was so powerful my cock went hard. I wanted her right then, and it took everything I had not to claim her.
It was crazy as hell, but not as crazy as the feeling I had that touching her was what I was meant to do. It felt like she was … mine.
It sounds crazy. I’m already planning on going back to the doctor Monday morning and getting my head checked out.
Maybe my injuries did more than any of us realized to my noggin.
I have had a headache for the last two nights.
I figured I just got overly stressed about Ray getting fired and then upsetting my bosses by questioning them.
Maybe it’s more. Maybe there’s something wrong.
I mean, it can’t be normal that I feel like I’ve been struck by lightning just by touching a woman’s arm.
It shouldn’t make my dick rock hard either.
“There’s no point in you getting out, Carson. Since you won’t let me walk there—”
“No way,” I speak up at once. Carson looks at me strangely, but he doesn’t say anything. Thankfully, Olivia seems oblivious, and she just laughs.
“Lake can take me. It’s fine. You need to follow your wife and go give Claire her goodnight love.”
“She’ll be fine, Boss. I’ll even go in her house and make sure it’s clear before I leave.”
“I don’t think that’s necessary,” she argues at once.
“Probably not,” I concede. “But I’m going to do it anyway.” I fight a smile when she rolls her eyes. If Carson saw me do that, he’d really know something was up. Hell, if Colt told him I all but argued to get put in the house toward the end of our security gig tonight, he already does.
“Whatever you say,” she mutters before going to hug Carson. “Thanks for worrying about me so much.”
“I told you, you’re our sister now—whether you want to be or not.”
“I couldn’t be happier having you, Coop, and Colt as brothers. I know Dad is resting easier knowing you all are in my life,” she says softly.
My heart squeezes in my chest. Something about Olivia seems so innocent and gentle.
I don’t know about my past, but I know she’s not like anyone I’ve encountered since waking up in the hospital.
I hate that I tried to paint her as the bad guy when it came to Ray.
Though, I think that has more to do with my reaction to her and who she is as a person.
I watch as they say their goodbyes. I ignore the irritation I feel watching Carson hug her.
There has to be something seriously wrong with my head.
Maybe they can do another scan. I pull my thoughts back to the here and now as I put my hand on Olivia’s lower back and escort her to the UTV.
This one is better than the one I used the other day.
There’s a cab with AC and heat inside. The seats are thicker and more comfortable than the ones in my pickup.
I had Colt change out with me, not wanting Olivia to catch a chill in the night air.
Yeah, I’m fucked if he spills his guts to Carson.
I keep my hand on the small of her back, then gently help her inside the vehicle before going to the driver’s side. “Are you warm enough?” I ask for no other reason than to find something to say to fill the silence.
“I’m good,” she says, looking intently through the windshield.
“What are you looking at?”
“The sky. Isn’t it beautiful?”
I glance upward before moving my gaze back to the road in front of me.
The road is basically an extra-large cement path.
There’s one running from building to building here on the ranch.
The cement has been bronzed to match the mulch around the flower beds that are scattered throughout the property.
It actually makes it look more natural and doesn’t detract from the beauty of the ranch.
“It’s a sky,” I point out.
“Well, duh,” she answers. “Look how gorgeous the moon looks, though. It has a faint red glow around it. Then, there’s how bright the stars are. It’s beautiful.”
“I guess I never really thought about it.”
“Well, you should. Life can be very ugly. You should appreciate beauty when God reveals it to you.”
“I think I’m the wrong person to talk to about that,” I say at once.
If there is a God up there, I don’t think I’m his favorite person.
Whatever happened to me ended up with me being shot, stabbed multiple times, and what the doctors could only describe as torture.
The doctors still aren’t sure how I survived.
One said I must have something really important to live for.
That was the biggest joke of all—since I can’t remember a damn thing.
I push those thoughts aside when I realize Olivia has been talking.
“At least that’s what I think,” she says.
I want to ask her what she thinks because I totally missed it, but I don’t want her to know I wasn’t listening. “How did you end up here at the ranch?” I ask instead.
“Oh, that’s a long, yucky story that I don’t want to think about,” she says, looking out her window.
If I hadn’t been watching, I would have missed how stiff her body went with my question.
I already knew she had a background that wasn’t good.
I picked up on that just from listening to the others talk to her.
Apparently, it’s worse than what I imagined.
I’m not sure what I did in my past, but I know I have a knack for reading people, and right now, everything about Olivia is screaming that she wants to run and get away from this conversation.
With that in mind, I decide to change the subject.
“Thanks for giving me another chance, Olivia. I really am sorry I was an asshole.”
“It’s okay. You were friends with Ray. It’s understandable.”
“Can I ask what he did to you?” I push.
She sighs. “Why? It’s not like it matters anymore,” she replies with a shrug.
“I’d like to know what an asshole Ray was. He obviously had me fooled,” I lie. He didn’t, I just needed a reason to dislike Olivia.
“He’d been hitting on me for a month and was steadily getting more aggressive about it. I tried to tell him I had lost the only man who would ever own my heart. It didn’t make a difference to him, except to tell me some line about finding another horse to ride and how I could ride him.”
“Fucking hell,” I growl, my gut twisting in knots with her words. There’s a lot to unpack there, and it makes my heart stop for a second. I actually have to slap my chest to get beating again. I feel like I can’t breathe. “I should kill him.”
She reaches over and puts her hand over mine, squeezing. “I’m pretty sure that’s illegal, Lake.”
“I don’t think a jury would find me guilty,” I mutter as I pull up to the cabin she lives in.
She grins at me. “I think you overestimate how horrible people are. I’d never trust my future with a jury.”
“You’re too beautiful to be this jaded, Livy.”
Her cheeks color such a deep red that I can see it in the softly lit cab. “You called me Livy,” she points out.
I frown. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep. Others call you that, and it just seems to fit you. Olivia sounds reserved and distant. You’re too sweet for that.”
She laughs. “Now you’re talking crazy. Cross calls me Ollie-girl.”
“That’s the man who was at your cabin earlier tonight, right?”
“Yeah,” she murmurs.
“I was an asshole. I’m sorry. I was …” I stop, unsure if I should tell her. I’d like to be honest with her from here on out, but I don’t know that she can handle the truth either.
“Was what?” she asks, sounding confused.
“I was jealous, Livy. That’s the real reason I was a jerk each and every time we came into contact.
“Jealous? But we don’t even know one another,” she scoffs, clearly not believing me.
“Maybe not, but I wanted you, and that’s something that hasn’t happened to me before.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Let’s say I have my own yucky story, Livy.
It might not make any sense, but the truth is that until you showed up in my life, I can’t remember a single woman that I have ever wanted.
It threw me. I didn’t react well, because I didn’t …
I never wanted to have anyone in my life.
I wanted to be alone. I can deal with being alone.
Anything else … Well, at the risk of sounding like a pussy, it terrified me. ”
“You sound like someone I used to know,” she says softly.
“Did you like him?” I joke.
She looks up at me with tears in her eyes that break my heart. Those beautiful eyes of hers shouldn’t cry. “I loved him with my entire being, Lake. He was everything to me.”
“He was a very lucky man then,” I answer honestly, all while feeling like every hope I’d secretly harbored concerning Olivia Davis was gone.
“Not really,” she whispers. “Loving me got him killed.”
Those five words feel like a fucking bomb that she just set off in the middle of us.
The pain in her voice was quiet, yet so devastating that it left destruction in its wake without even trying.
I couldn’t even respond. My brain has stopped functioning.
Then, Olivia does something that I won’t forget for as long as I live.
She flattens her hand against my chest. That familiar heat hits me at once.
I don’t get time to react to it, because she’s looking up at me with those soulful hazel eyes that will haunt me until the day I fucking die.
Then, she leans into me and gently brushes her lips against my cheek—branding me without even trying.
I watch, unable to speak as she opens her door and all but runs into her cabin.
I want to follow her. I know I can’t. I do the next best thing—I text Carson.
Me: Hey Carson. Olivia asked me not to come in. Didn’t want to scare her. I’m outside her cabin now. Can you text her and make sure she’s good? Don’t want to leave until I know.
It takes a few minutes before I get a reply, but I don’t move. Hell, I’m already wishing I could just stay out here tonight. I wanted to be close to her. The need for that is so strong that it’s staggering.
Carson: She’s good. Apartment is clear. Thanks for the heads-up. Cya tomorrow.
I stare at my phone, feeling hollow. Then, I look up to see a light turn on in the cabin. Visions of Olivia lying on a bed naked hit me, and I close my eyes, hold my head down and pinch the bridge of my nose.
“Motherfucker, I’m in deep trouble,” I whisper out to no one but me and the moon shining above me. “How in the hell do I stop wanting her?”
Unfortunately, silence surrounds me. The moon doesn’t have an answer.
Shit.