20. She Said My Name
SHE SAID MY NAME
BEAR
Son of a bitch. I guess my woman is even smarter than me.
I thought the security on this ranch was laughable.
It took all of my skill to break into her house tonight.
I look around the A-frame cabin. It’s at least a three-bedroom, a large great room with cathedral ceilings, that has an open kitchen and dining area toward the back of the house.
The front of the room is large enough for two big sectionals that face one another, a huge fireplace takes up a large section of the wall facing the sofas.
This wall is comprised of tinted glass that flows down from the ceiling until it meets the accordion doors that surround the fireplace.
The effect allows muted outside light flowing into the room, and makes the house feel like it’s not a structure, but rather a part of the great outdoors itself.
I can tell the glass is bulletproof, too.
It’s thick and high grade. It took me an hour to find the one weak spot in this house.
Olivia had left one window open. It was up high and a damn small one—it’s in the master suite’s bathroom.
My woman is claustrophobic, so I figured she’d want some kind of fresh air filtering into her bedroom.
I’m glad I wasn’t wrong in my hunch. I hate that Olivia is still suffering so much from this.
She was always scared of small spaces. Her fear only increased when we lived in that human cage that Eyeball put us in.
I lost count of the number of times I helped talk her down from panic attacks.
I had to hold her in my arms so that she could feel our connection and repeatedly talk to her in her ear, reassuring I was with her.
Eventually, her trembling would lessen. I hated that I couldn’t take away the scars of the past from her.
I’m scared to hear of how she fared after I got free.
I still carry guilt that I couldn’t come back for her.
By the time I was able, she’d freed herself.
My woman is as strong as they come. She’s endured way too much.
That won’t happen again. Once it’s safe, I’m going to take Olivia far away from here.
We’ll live on a beach somewhere. Sand, salt air, and wide-open spaces all around.
We spoke about it often. I was more than ready to walk away from the club.
They’re doing fine. They don’t need me anymore.
I’m not sure how much money I’ll have left.
I gave most of it to Olivia and then some to Ayita—that fucking bitch.
My shares in the casino, which were separate from the club itself, I gave back to my brother.
Still, I checked online one night in the town library.
I still have access to one of my offshore accounts.
It hasn’t been touched. Cross was supposed to make sure that Olivia had sole access to it.
Everything remains the same and nothing has touched it, except a fuck of a lot of interest. There’s more than enough there to find us our own place.
Hell, maybe our own island. It’s something I definitely need to talk to Olivia about.
I can’t tonight, though. If she knows I’m alive, she won’t allow us to be apart.
Eyeball will know at once and he’ll increase his efforts to get to her.
So, for now, I’m going to see her up close and watch her sleep.
I’ll slip out when I have to and bide my time until I can see her again.
I know I’m putting everything at risk, but at least this way the danger is smaller.
It’s all I can indulge in right now. Besides, if I don’t get to spend some time with her, I’m afraid I might snap.
I’ve been inside the house for about ten minutes. I’ve been afraid to move, but the place is quiet. I peek through the opened door. From the small nightlight on the nightstand, I can see someone sleeping on the bed. I smile. She’s here.
I slip off my boots by the bathroom door—doing my best to be as quiet as possible.
Then I make my way to my woman. A fine sheen of sweat pops out on the back of my neck and my hands.
This is a moment I was afraid would never come.
I kneel by the side of the bed. My heart jumps around crazily in my chest before settling back down.
My entire body feels weak. I take in her soft hair.
It’s darker now than it was the last time I saw her.
Her skin is still just as fair, her cheekbones just as prominent—maybe more.
I bet she’s not eating right. I frown. Olivia never did take care of herself like she should.
She focused all her attention on making sure the people she loved were healthy and happy.
I should be here taking care of her—not hiding out like a damn coward.
I’m disgusted with myself. This has to end.
The urge to wake Olivia is so strong that I have to distract myself. I look around the room, hoping that our child is asleep in the room with her. I’m disappointed because there’s no sign of a child.
I decide to investigate the house. She’s probably given the child his or her own room by now.
The thought that I will finally see the child we conceived together fills me with anticipation.
Yet, it slowly dies when I look around the living area and see no sign of a child.
The same can be said with the dining room and kitchen.
I find another bath and a bedroom across from it.
It looks like a rarely used guest room. I find the utility room and a small pantry adjacent to the kitchen area of the home.
There’s only one room I haven’t looked in and surely that has to be the other bedroom.
I take a deep breath, knowing that as soon as I open the door, I’ll be able to see my child for the first time.
Anticipation fills me. I’m so nervous, my hand shakes as I grasp the doorknob.
The room is completely dark. I take a chance and turn the light on and frown.
The room is full of boxes. There’s no furniture at all.
This room is being used purely for storage.
I go back to Olivia’s room. I want to wake her and ask where our child is.
I’m afraid of the answer. If our child was alive, he or she would be here with Olivia.
Pain and guilt nearly take me out on the spot.
Did she lose our child? I knew she was being beaten daily.
I also knew about that bastard Lucky raping her.
Olivia often talked in her sleep. Because we were being held in a cage and I was only being kept alive for more torture and Olivia was the way to hurt me the worst, none of her dreams were good.
One particular night, the world tilted on its axis for me.
I can still remember the exact words she said that night, after being thrown back in the cage, her face swollen beyond recognition. The words broke me.
“If I fight, he’ll hurt me worse. I can’t let Bear know. It will kill him. Please let the condom work. Please God, please …”
I let her keep her secrets. In a situation like we were in, there wasn’t much I could do.
I’d come so close to dying—more than once—I was horribly weak.
It was pure need to be with Olivia that kept me going.
I knew my days were coming to an end. Eyeball was getting bored with his daily torture sessions.
I had to do whatever I could for her now.
So, I let her have her silence. Then, one night, she confessed she hadn’t had a period in two months.
We’d managed to have sex one night. It wasn’t great.
I couldn’t love her like I wanted and because of the stitches and infection my body was carrying, it’s a wonder I could have sex at all.
I chalked it up to how much I truly loved Olivia.
Even though my role was sadly lacking, making love with Olivia was the single, most beautiful thing I had ever shared with another person.
We decided that the baby was ours. Chances weren’t on our side, but it was possible.
Despite enduring rape, those assholes used condoms when fucking.
Apparently, a few STDs had gotten so bad that Lucky made wearing them mandatory.
Olivia referred to the child as ours, and as far as I was concerned, that was the truth.
I liked the idea of her having a child to love after I was gone.
We’d talk about the life we would build for our child.
We made plans that neither of us truly believed we’d live out. It kept us going.
Now, not seeing a child, I’m automatically thinking the worst. Tears are sliding down my face and disappearing into my beard.
I don’t bother wiping them away. My heart is too busy trying to beat while it’s ripped open.
Olivia would have never given up our child.
Never. That only leaves one alternative.
I let the truth push into me with the ferocity of a branding iron sizzling against fresh, unblemished skin.
In its wake is a wound that I know will never heal.
I make a last-minute decision I know I shouldn’t indulge in.
I climb on the bed behind Olivia, breathing her in.
Instantly, the scent of a Pina Colada surrounds me.
Coconut and vanilla are so lush it’s addicting.
It’s not a drink I’ve enjoyed. Hell, if I ordered one, my men would’ve laughed me out of the clubhouse.
Still, the scent is intoxicating. The emptiness I’ve carried since I was forced to leave her immediately disappears.
Even with my heart hurting, and tears of loss running down my face, I finally feel hope.
After all this time, I’m next to the woman I love.
The nightstand on this side of the bed has two photos on it.
The first makes me smile. It’s of a younger Olivia and her father.
The second is the one that completely unmans me, though.
It’s a picture of me and Olivia at a county fundraising fair.
God, I wish I could go back in time and fix the misunderstandings of our past. If that happened, I would have never picked that lying viper, Ayita.
Fuck that. If I could go back, I would have killed Olivia’s brother and his club before he could have hurt my woman.
I push those thoughts away. I can’t stay.
I’ll need to leave soon. I’m being reckless, but there’s a huge part of me that wants Olivia to wake up and see me lying here.
I want her to finally know that I’m alive and I’m going to reclaim our lives together.
It’s not good to do that now. I need to make sure her brother is no longer a threat first. Still, need and want are overriding common sense.
I look down at my beautiful woman and smile.
The cover has fallen to her waist, revealing the curve of her breasts.
She’s beautiful, but that’s not what catches my eye the most. No—not at all.
What makes me instantly go rock hard and pay attention is the fact she’s wearing an old T-shirt that I used to wear.
She’s sleeping in my clothes. Mine.
Pride fills me. This is my woman. The one I would choose no matter which lifetime, or how many times we encounter one another. I would love her and none other. Olivia is the air I breathe and the beat of my heart.
“I love you, Livy,” I whisper, reaching out and curling a tendril of her chestnut hair.
I hold my breath and pray she doesn’t hear me while that traitorous voice in my head prays that she does.
It’s total disappointment I feel when she doesn’t.
Still, I allow my head to lie against the pillow, and even though I’m pushing my luck, I let my arm rest on her waist. Olivia, proving she’s still the sexy nymph who is clueless to what she does to a man, snuggles into me, her curvy ass pushing against my cock.
I groan as quietly as I can and close my eyes. “I love you,” I breathe out once more.
“Bear,” she replies, and every muscle I have stiffens.
She said my name.
Pain pierces me once more. I can’t hide any longer. It’s time for me to come back. I can’t wait any longer. Watching and waiting is done. Now, I attack and reclaim the life that I was always meant to have.