Seventeen
Mandy, good to her word, buys everyone in the pub a drink. It quickly becomes clear she’s probably had a few drinks already, as she smiles and grins her way around the bar speaking to people and patting them on the back, before moving onto the next.
‘Is she all right?’ Claire whispers as we watch her. ‘She’s not behaving very . . . well, very normally, is she?’
‘Grief can be a funny thing,’ Rob says. ‘It affects everyone differently. I suspect this is Mandy’s way of dealing with everything that’s going on.’
We continue to watch Mandy until eventually she joins us in our corner of the bar.
‘Well now,’ she says, her eyes bright as she casts them around the table, ‘How are we all – good, I hope?’
Claire is the first to speak. ‘Mandy,’ she says anxiously. ‘I’m so very sorry for your loss. We all are.’
Mandy immediately looks down into her glass. She swirls what looks like a spirit of some kind around, so it swooshes over the ice cubes. ‘Yes. Well. It is what it is.’
‘How are you doing?’ I ask gently. ‘Is there anything we can do to help? You know for tomorrow?’
Mandy’s head snaps up again. ‘I’d really rather not talk about tomorrow,’ she says, and I notice how drawn her face looks under her heavy make-up. ‘I’m grateful you came and all that. But I’d rather hear all your news tonight if that’s all right with you?’
‘Yes, yes, of course,’ we all hurriedly reply.
‘And who might you be?’ she asks, turning her gaze to Mack. ‘We have a stranger in our midst!’
Mack quickly explains why he’s here.
Mandy nods sombrely. ‘I appreciate you coming all this way. Both of you,’ she says, turning to Rob now. ‘The journey from London is bad enough, let alone the USA!’
‘It’s the least we could do,’ Rob says. ‘Isn’t it, Mack?’
Mack nods.
Mandy takes a gulp from her drink. ‘So, what’s your story?’ she asks mischievously, looking at Rob and Mack. ‘Are you batting for the other side now, Rob? Eddie will be over the moon, but my mate Frankie here will be extremely disappointed!’
Eddie looks horrified, and my cheeks flush incredibly hot, partly from embarrassment and partly from annoyance.
‘No,’ Rob says firmly. ‘I am not, and neither is Mack. We’re just mates. Mack has a wife.’
‘I do indeed,’ Mack says. ‘Sarah.’
‘Oops! Sorry,’ Mandy says, not seeming in the least embarrassed, unlike myself and Eddie. ‘My mistake! It does happen you know – the change, and I’m not talking the menopause. Still time for you and our Frankie to get it on then?’
I glare at Mandy now.
‘What?’ she asks, seeing me. ‘You’ve always had the hots for him, as he has for you.’ She takes another long gulp from her glass, draining the remaining liquid. ‘Another, you lot? No? Well, I need one. Back in a minute.’
Mandy gets up, steadies herself, then walks as competently as she can back over to the bar.
‘She’s grieving,’ Claire says. ‘Try not to be too cross with her, Frankie.’
‘I’m going to get some air.’ I stand up. ‘It’s very hot in here tonight. I’ll be back in a bit.’
I hurry outside into the cool night air, where I immediately take a few cleansing breaths. Then I walk over to the harbour railings and lean on them. The earlier rain has now cleared, and it’s a beautiful moonlit evening. Above the waves rolling into the harbour, I can see tiny stars dotted across the night sky. I look up at them, take another deep breath and sigh.
‘Do you want to be on your own?’ a voice behind me asks. ‘I’ll go back in if you do.’
I turn around to see Rob.
‘It’s fine,’ I reply. ‘I just needed some air. The pub is super busy this evening.’
‘Yeah, Mum and Dad loved it on nights like this.’ He moves forward to stand next to me.
‘It must be strange for you not seeing them behind the bar?’
‘It is. But the new owners seem to be making a good job of everything. The Merry Mermaid looks to be in safe hands.’
There’s a moment of silence.
‘I’m sorry for what Mandy said.’ I say this at the same time as Rob says something similar.
We both smile.
‘She’s clearly had quite a lot to drink,’ Rob says. ‘Like Claire said, we shouldn’t be too cross with her.’
‘No, I know. But I don’t want to embarrass you in front of your friend.’
‘Mack’s all right. He runs a bar, remember? He’s used to people saying awkward and embarrassing things when drunk.’
‘I suppose so. How odd you two bumping into each other like that, though, halfway across the world.’
‘Funny thing is I wasn’t even going to visit that particular bar, but the girl I was with at the time insisted we went there. The relationship didn’t last long, but my patronage of that particular bar did. People always say it’s a small world.’
I wonder if he’s referring not only to him and Mack, but to our tryst in Edinburgh, too.
‘So how are things going in La La Land, then?’ I ask casually.
‘Good. I’ve finally bagged my first lead role.’
‘Yes, Claire was telling us about it. Congratulations, you’re actually going to get paid to be a superhero this time,’ I say with a wry smile.
‘I am indeed. Not quite Batman . . . ’ He raises his eyebrows. ‘But I think it’s going to be pretty big. They’re putting a lot of money into it, that’s for sure.’
‘Good. I’m pleased for you.’
‘You still taking the art world by storm?’
‘Hardly. But I’m still enjoying working at the gallery if that’s what you mean?’
‘Good. Good.’
There’s a pause in conversation, and all I can hear is the rather strange mix of the hum of people behind us in the pub, along with the clinking of their glasses. Versus in front, large waves splashing up against the harbour wall.
‘Should we talk about what happened in Edinburgh?’ Rob asks, looking out over the sea.
‘Do you want to?’
‘Only if you do.’
‘I’d rather not. Look, it was a great evening and everything. But it was a one-off.’
‘Yes, yes, of course. I know that. You don’t regret it though, do you?’
Do I regret sleeping with Rob? Until about a month ago, no. But just recently I’ve had quite a few regrets.
‘No, I don’t regret it,’ I reply as honestly as I can.
‘Me neither. It was a good night.’
‘Perhaps we should leave it at that, then – a good night enjoyed by us both.’
There’s silence again.
‘I think I might go back in.’ Rob turns around so his back is to the railings. ‘I’m getting the feeling you want to be on your own.’
‘No, not at all. I’m just feeling a bit grouchy tonight, that’s all.’
‘Because of what Mandy said?’
‘No . . . well, maybe a little bit. It’s mainly because I found out tonight that my parents are going to sell their house here. I’m feeling quite unsettled by that, and a few other things if I’m honest. I’m sorry if you thought it was because of you.’
‘No apology needed. I felt a bit like that when my parents said they were selling the pub. But we hadn’t lived there all my life, just a few years. Your parents have always lived in St Felix, haven’t they?’
‘Well remembered. Since I was born they have. I can’t imagine them living anywhere else.’ I look back out at the boats in the harbour. ‘It’s like my anchor is being taken away, and right now I really need that anchor.’
‘Why right now?’
‘Oh, no particular reason – maybe it’s just my age – I feel I need roots somewhere.’
‘Just because your parents don’t live here any more doesn’t mean you can’t call St Felix your home.’
‘I guess . . . ’
To my surprise, Rob places his hand over mine on the railings. ‘I still think of here as home, and I didn’t live here anywhere near as long as you did.’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah, some of my happiest memories were spent here.’
He doesn’t elaborate further, so I don’t ask. Now is not the time to be dragging our past up again. I have enough to worry about in the future.
‘Yes,’ I admit. ‘Mine too.’
We look at each other and, for a brief moment, all those old feelings come flooding to the surface once more as I gaze into Rob’s eyes, but they’re interrupted by a splashing sound in the harbour.
We both look down, then look back at each other, our previous wistful expressions now simply ones of acknowledgement at the all too familiar sound below.